--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: [B]oth my husband and I are the eldest in…" description: "\"“[B]oth my husband and I are the eldest in largish families and both of us had childhoods punctuated by pregnancies, the weeklong disappearance of our ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ffd/anna-quindlen-467_childhood_b-oth-my-husband-and-i-are-the-eldest-in_1137585.png" --- # \[B\]oth my husband and I are the eldest in largish families… ![“[B]oth my husband and I are the eldest in largish families and both of us had childhoods punctuated by pregnancies, the weeklong disappearance of our mothers, and the arrival of yet another lozenge of a receiving blanket with a red face and a querulous cry. But being supplanted by babies was quite…” quote by Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ffd/anna-quindlen-467_childhood_b-oth-my-husband-and-i-are-the-eldest-in_1137585.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ffd/anna-quindlen-467_childhood_b-oth-my-husband-and-i-are-the-eldest-in_1137585.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ffd/anna-quindlen-467_childhood_b-oth-my-husband-and-i-are-the-eldest-in_1137585.png) > ““\[B\]oth my husband and I are the eldest in largish families and both of us had childhoods punctuated by pregnancies, the weeklong disappearance of our mothers, and the arrival of yet another lozenge of a receiving blanket with a red face and a querulous cry. But being supplanted by babies was quite different from being in thrall to them.”” [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Balancing personal identity with the demands of parenthood can feel like being replaced by a new, demanding presence, yet it is distinct from being controlled by children. **In simple terms:** Parenthood reshapes identity but does not dominate it. Key Takeaway Recognize and nurture your own self amid parenting duties. Themes family identity parenthood balance Mood reflective empathetic Type personal essay reflective When to use this quote - new parent adjusting - career planning - mental health support - relationship counseling Key Concepts role transition self‑care family dynamics Questions to Reflect On - How do you maintain personal identity while caring for children? - What support systems help parents avoid feeling supplanted? A Different Perspective The quote may ideal the emotional toll of motherhood, overlooking systemic support needs. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Childhood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/childhood/) [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Family](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/family/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) ## Related quotes > [“The most memorable books from our childhoods are those that make us feel less alone, convince us that our own foibles and quirks are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/the-most-memorable-books-from-our-childhoods-are-those-that-make-us/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [I write for kids because I think the most interesting (and most humorous) stories come from people's childhoods. When I was writing 'Diary of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-kinney/i-write-for-kids-because-i-think-the-most-interesting-and-most/) [Jeff Kinney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-kinney/) > [I think sometimes when our childhoods are difficult, we forget that there's also a lot of joy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brad-goreski/i-think-sometimes-when-our-childhoods-are-difficult-we-forget-that/) [Brad Goreski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brad-goreski/) > [One thing that is almost always said to me is, I grew up with you. They are meeting me and feel that they actually…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goddard/one-thing-that-is-almost-always-said-to-me-is-i-grew-up-with-you-they/) [Mark Goddard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goddard/) > [“We gave each other the childhoods we had lost.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/akiah-watts/we-gave-each-other-the-childhoods-we-had-lost/) [Akiah Watts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/akiah-watts/) > [“Childhoods shine through adult skin, helpfully or not.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ian-mcewan/childhoods-shine-through-adult-skin-helpfully-or-not/) [Ian McEwan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ian-mcewan/) > [I'm aware of what kids like because I'm constantly in touch with them. Also, they say that a lot of people who write for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-wilson/i-m-aware-of-what-kids-like-because-i-m-constantly-in-touch-with-them/) [Eric Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-wilson/) > [“You'd be surprised how many childhoods each of us has.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-rivard/you-d-be-surprised-how-many-childhoods-each-of-us-has/) David Rivard > [On Michael Jackson and child stardom: He had one of the worst childhoods ever. I think I had the second.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-taylor/on-michael-jackson-and-child-stardom-he-had-one-of-the-worst/) [Elizabeth Taylor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-taylor/) > [What we did in our childhoods makes us who we are now.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-heder/what-we-did-in-our-childhoods-makes-us-who-we-are-now/) [Jon Heder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-heder/) > [Travelling childhoods are a common theme among actors. Army kids, embassy kids, travelling salesmen, clergy. Thing is, you learn about behaviour, that different places…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julianne-moore/travelling-childhoods-are-a-common-theme-among-actors-army-kids/) [Julianne Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julianne-moore/) > [One of the reasons I get so much joy out of my own children's childhoods is that I'm having my first childhood myself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/al-sharpton/one-of-the-reasons-i-get-so-much-joy-out-of-my-own-children-s/) [Al Sharpton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/al-sharpton/) > [So much of memory comes from the beginning of our lives when we know the world for the first time with a kind of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-shreve/so-much-of-memory-comes-from-the-beginning-of-our-lives-when-we-know/) [Susan Shreve](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-shreve/) > [“On some level, with its carrousels and castle and cowboys, its mysterious jungle and its animated characters, Disneyland is a highly idealized elaboration of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leslie-le-mon/on-some-level-with-its-carrousels-and-castle-and-cowboys-its/) [Leslie Le Mon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leslie-le-mon/) > [My parents came out of Glasgow during the Depression and both - particularly my father - had very tough childhoods. They fought their way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-lawson/my-parents-came-out-of-glasgow-during-the-depression-and-both/) [Denis Lawson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-lawson/) ## More by Anna Quindlen > [I think books in which people are really happy and things are going well are probably the most challenging novels there are to write,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/i-think-books-in-which-people-are-really-happy-and-things-are-going/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Trying to be perfect may be inevitable for people who are smart and ambitious and interested in the world and its good opinion...What is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/trying-to-be-perfect-may-be-inevitable-for-people-who-are-smart-and/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Sometimes change came all at once, with a sound like a fire taking hold of dry wood and paper, with a roar that rose…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/sometimes-change-came-all-at-once-with-a-sound-like-a-fire-taking/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Loss as muse. Loss as character. Loss as life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/loss-as-muse-loss-as-character-loss-as-life/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [knowledge of our own mortality is the greatest gift God ever gives us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/knowledge-of-our-own-mortality-is-the-greatest-gift-god-ever-gives-us/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [You teach your 16-year-old with your heart in your mouth to be a good driver and none of that makes any difference when some…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/you-teach-your-16-year-old-with-your-heart-in-your-mouth-to-be-a-good/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Every reader, I suspect, has a book like this somewhere in his or her past, a book that seemed to hold within it, at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/every-reader-i-suspect-has-a-book-like-this-somewhere-in-his-or-her/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [“I’ve finally recognized my body for what it is: a personality-delivery system, designed expressly to carry my character from place to place, now and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/i-ve-finally-recognized-my-body-for-what-it-is-a-personality-delivery/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [A man who builds his own pedestal had better use strong cement.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/a-man-who-builds-his-own-pedestal-had-better-use-strong-cement/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [“In England I am always madam; I arrived too late to ever be a miss. In New York I have only been madamed once,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/in-england-i-am-always-madam-i-arrived-too-late-to-ever-be-a-miss-in/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [“Yet there was always in me, even when I was very small, the sense that I ought to be somewhere else. And wander I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/yet-there-was-always-in-me-even-when-i-was-very-small-the-sense-that/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [I can't think of a single downside to motherhood now.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/i-can-t-think-of-a-single-downside-to-motherhood-now/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [It would take a helluva man to replace no man at all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/it-would-take-a-helluva-man-to-replace-no-man-at-all/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Not writing at all leads to nothing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/not-writing-at-all-leads-to-nothing/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Reading has always been my home, my sustenance, my great invincible companion. "Book love," Trollope called it. "It will make your hours pleasant to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/reading-has-always-been-my-home-my-sustenance-my-great-invincible/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) [Explore all 538 Anna Quindlen quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) ## More Childhood quotes > [“Children's lives are always beginning and adults' lives are always ending. Or is it the opposite? Your childhood is always ending and your adult…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-espach/children-s-lives-are-always-beginning-and-adults-lives-are-always/) [Alison Espach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-espach/) > [“From childhood’s hour I have not been As others were—I have not seen As others saw—I could not bring My passions from a common…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edgar-allan-poe/from-childhood-s-hour-i-have-not-been-as-others-were-i-have-not-seen/) [Edgar Allan Poe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edgar-allan-poe/) > [We were so poor as kids. I didn't even see a bathtub, running water, hot water, commode - we didn't have any of that.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-robertson/we-were-so-poor-as-kids-i-didn-t-even-see-a-bathtub-running-water-hot/) [Phil Robertson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-robertson/) > [I had a rough upbringing. Group homes. Foster homes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-shamrock/i-had-a-rough-upbringing-group-homes-foster-homes/) [Frank Shamrock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-shamrock/) > [When I talk about my childhood I used to say it as if it was scripted and I'd make jokes because it was a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kerry-katona/when-i-talk-about-my-childhood-i-used-to-say-it-as-if-it-was-scripted/) [Kerry Katona](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kerry-katona/) > [Every man remembers his childhood as a kind of mythical age, just as every nation's childhood is its mythical age.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/giacomo-leopardi/every-man-remembers-his-childhood-as-a-kind-of-mythical-age-just-as/) [Giacomo Leopardi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/giacomo-leopardi/) > [It's a very familiar type of place where people either go to their house on the lake or they get together in different places.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-carell/it-s-a-very-familiar-type-of-place-where-people-either-go-to-their/) [Steve Carell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-carell/) > [Ideal for the child and society in the best of times, Rudolf Steiner's brilliant process of education is critically needed and profoundly relevant now…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-chilton-pearce/ideal-for-the-child-and-society-in-the-best-of-times-rudolf-steiner-s/) [Joseph Chilton Pearce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-chilton-pearce/) > [Downstairs in my house, I have a museum room. I keep all of my awards down there, and childhood photos, and even all the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-kelly/downstairs-in-my-house-i-have-a-museum-room-i-keep-all-of-my-awards/) [R. Kelly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-kelly/) > [Childhood is Last Chance Gulch for happiness. After that, you know too much.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-stoppard/childhood-is-last-chance-gulch-for-happiness-after-that-you-know-too/) [Tom Stoppard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-stoppard/) > [On paper, it looks rough, but I had a great childhood.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samantha-morton/on-paper-it-looks-rough-but-i-had-a-great-childhood/) [Samantha Morton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samantha-morton/) > [Let positive, strong, helpful thoughts enter into your brains from very childhood. Lay yourselves open to these thoughts, and not to weakening and paralysing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/swami-vivekananda/let-positive-strong-helpful-thoughts-enter-into-your-brains-from-very/) [Swami Vivekananda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/swami-vivekananda/) > [I always knew that I was kind of bored; the regular life of a child didn't fit me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christina-ricci/i-always-knew-that-i-was-kind-of-bored-the-regular-life-of-a-child/) [Christina Ricci](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christina-ricci/) > [Children are not a zoo of entertainingly exotic creatures, but an array of mirrors in which the human predicament leaps out at us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/children-are-not-a-zoo-of-entertainingly-exotic-creatures-but-an/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [I'm not sure I would have ever started to draw, let alone write, if my childhood hadn't been so happy. It was a mixture…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tove-jansson/i-m-not-sure-i-would-have-ever-started-to-draw-let-alone-write-if-my/) [Tove Jansson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tove-jansson/) [Browse all 5,837 Childhood quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/childhood/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“[B]oth my husband and I are the eldest in largish families and both of us had childhoods punctuated by pregnancies, the weeklong disappearance of our mothers, and the arrival of yet another lozenge of a receiving blanket with a red face and a querulous cry. 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