--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: [After my mother died, I had a feeling…" description: "\"[After my mother died, I had a feeling that was] not unlike the homesickness that always filled me for the first few days when I went to stay at my gra..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab8/anna-quindlen-467_children_after-my-mother-died-i-had-a-feeling-tha_2710339.jpg" --- # \[After my mother died, I had a feeling that was\] not… ![“[After my mother died, I had a feeling that was] not unlike the homesickness that always filled me for the first few days when I went to stay at my grandparents'' house, and even, I was stunned to discover, during the first few months of my freshman year at college. It was not really the home my…” quote by Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab8/anna-quindlen-467_children_after-my-mother-died-i-had-a-feeling-tha_2710339.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab8/anna-quindlen-467_children_after-my-mother-died-i-had-a-feeling-tha_2710339.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab8/anna-quindlen-467_children_after-my-mother-died-i-had-a-feeling-tha_2710339.jpg) > “\[After my mother died, I had a feeling that was\] not unlike the homesickness that always filled me for the first few days when I went to stay at my grandparents'' house, and even, I was stunned to discover, during the first few months of my freshman year at college. It was not really the home my mother had made that I yearned for. But I was sick in my soul for that greater meaning of home that we understand most purely when we are children, when it is a metaphor for all possible feelings of security, of safety, of what is predictable, gentle, and good in life.” [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The loss of a parent triggers a deep yearning for a childhood sense of safety and belonging that cannot be fully satisfied by physical places alone. **In simple terms:** Grief creates a longing for a deeper sense of home. Key Takeaway Seek deeper connections that provide lasting security. Themes grief longing identity home security Mood reflective melancholic hopeful Type personal philosophical When to use this quote - college transition - family loss - moving to a new city - adjusting to adulthood Key Concepts attachment theory existential meaning psychological safety Questions to Reflect On - How do you define “home” beyond physical spaces? - What practices can nurture a sense of safety now? A Different Perspective The feeling may also reflect nostalgia that idealizes the past, obscuring present opportunities. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [College](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/college/) [Feeling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feeling/) [Feelings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feelings/) [Filled](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/filled/) [Firsts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/firsts/) [Freshman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/freshman/) [Freshman year](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/freshman-year/) [Gentle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/gentle/) [Grandparent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grandparent/) [Home](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/home/) [Homesickness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/homesickness/) [Homesickness Filled](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/homesickness-filled-2802465/) [House](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/house/) [Made](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/made/) [Meaning Home](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/meaning-home-2328355/) [Metaphor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/metaphor/) [Months](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/months/) [Mother](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mother/) [Mother died](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mother-died/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Predictable](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/predictable/) [Safety](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/safety/) [Security](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/security/) [Sick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sick/) [Soul](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/soul/) [Unlike Homesickness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/unlike-homesickness-2802464/) [Years](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/years/) ## Related quotes > [“Remove the terror of the unknown, give a thing meaning, call it home, and you can see all the grace inherent in it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-foehner-wells/remove-the-terror-of-the-unknown-give-a-thing-meaning-call-it-home/) [Jennifer Foehner Wells](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-foehner-wells/) > [My heritage will always be an element in my work but as I've written, traveled, and lived more, I've found that the questions and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-abu-jaber/my-heritage-will-always-be-an-element-in-my-work-but-as-i-ve-written/) [Diana Abu-Jaber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-abu-jaber/) > [I often feel like an outsider wherever I go, so I'm always attracted to stories about identity and the meaning of home.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chloe-zhao/i-often-feel-like-an-outsider-wherever-i-go-so-i-m-always-attracted/) [Chloe Zhao](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chloe-zhao/) > [I feel like I've spent a lot of time imagining home and thinking about a dream-like place, as opposed to a real place, because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wangechi-mutu/i-feel-like-i-ve-spent-a-lot-of-time-imagining-home-and-thinking/) [Wangechi Mutu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wangechi-mutu/) > [Movement is a fantastic privilege but it ultimately only has meaning if you have a home to go back to.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pico-iyer/movement-is-a-fantastic-privilege-but-it-ultimately-only-has-meaning/) [Pico Iyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pico-iyer/) > [I think what saved me, as a writer, is that there are really two breaking points in my life. One was when I was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/i-think-what-saved-me-as-a-writer-is-that-there-are-really-two/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [“…he will always live in a place he is not from. For a long time he thought that habit would counter this fact and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-bishop/he-will-always-live-in-a-place-he-is-not-from-for-a-long-time-he/) [Stephanie Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-bishop/) > [It is a curious emotion, this certain homesickness I have in mind. With Americans, it is a national trait, as native to us as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-mccullers/it-is-a-curious-emotion-this-certain-homesickness-i-have-in-mind-with/) [Carson McCullers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-mccullers/) > [“He wonders what it would be like to belong somewhere and never doubt it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-bishop/he-wonders-what-it-would-be-like-to-belong-somewhere-and-never-doubt/) [Stephanie Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-bishop/) > [“Give me homesickness. Flash. Give me nostalgic childhood yearnings. Flash.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-palahniuk/give-me-homesickness-flash-give-me-nostalgic-childhood-yearnings-flash/) [Chuck Palahniuk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-palahniuk/) > [If they don't board and live by themselves, even in their second year they've got no lounge or kitchen table and it's a pretty…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/trevor-nisbett/if-they-don-t-board-and-live-by-themselves-even-in-their-second-year/) [Trevor Nisbett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/trevor-nisbett/) > [Art schools are partly the villain here. (Never mind that I teach in them.) This generation of artists is the first to have been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-saltz/art-schools-are-partly-the-villain-here-never-mind-that-i-teach-in/) [Jerry Saltz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-saltz/) > [“She used to suffer these intense bouts of homesickness in her own bedroom. When she was very small, she would wake up tearing at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-russell/she-used-to-suffer-these-intense-bouts-of-homesickness-in-her-own/) [Karen Russell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-russell/) > [Concepts, like individuals, have their histories and are just as incapable of withstanding the ravages of time as are individuals. But in and through…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/soren-kierkegaard/concepts-like-individuals-have-their-histories-and-are-just-as/) [Soren Kierkegaard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/soren-kierkegaard/) > [At first he thought he felt bad because he was afraid of leading an army, but it wasn't true. He knew he'd make a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/orson-scott-card/at-first-he-thought-he-felt-bad-because-he-was-afraid-of-leading-an/) [Orson Scott Card](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/orson-scott-card/) ## More by Anna Quindlen > [I think books in which people are really happy and things are going well are probably the most challenging novels there are to write,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/i-think-books-in-which-people-are-really-happy-and-things-are-going/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Trying to be perfect may be inevitable for people who are smart and ambitious and interested in the world and its good opinion...What is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/trying-to-be-perfect-may-be-inevitable-for-people-who-are-smart-and/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Sometimes change came all at once, with a sound like a fire taking hold of dry wood and paper, with a roar that rose…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/sometimes-change-came-all-at-once-with-a-sound-like-a-fire-taking/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Loss as muse. Loss as character. Loss as life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/loss-as-muse-loss-as-character-loss-as-life/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [knowledge of our own mortality is the greatest gift God ever gives us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/knowledge-of-our-own-mortality-is-the-greatest-gift-god-ever-gives-us/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [You teach your 16-year-old with your heart in your mouth to be a good driver and none of that makes any difference when some…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/you-teach-your-16-year-old-with-your-heart-in-your-mouth-to-be-a-good/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Every reader, I suspect, has a book like this somewhere in his or her past, a book that seemed to hold within it, at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/every-reader-i-suspect-has-a-book-like-this-somewhere-in-his-or-her/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [“I’ve finally recognized my body for what it is: a personality-delivery system, designed expressly to carry my character from place to place, now and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/i-ve-finally-recognized-my-body-for-what-it-is-a-personality-delivery/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [A man who builds his own pedestal had better use strong cement.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/a-man-who-builds-his-own-pedestal-had-better-use-strong-cement/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [“In England I am always madam; I arrived too late to ever be a miss. In New York I have only been madamed once,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/in-england-i-am-always-madam-i-arrived-too-late-to-ever-be-a-miss-in/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [“Yet there was always in me, even when I was very small, the sense that I ought to be somewhere else. And wander I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/yet-there-was-always-in-me-even-when-i-was-very-small-the-sense-that/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [I can't think of a single downside to motherhood now.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/i-can-t-think-of-a-single-downside-to-motherhood-now/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [It would take a helluva man to replace no man at all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/it-would-take-a-helluva-man-to-replace-no-man-at-all/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Not writing at all leads to nothing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/not-writing-at-all-leads-to-nothing/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Reading has always been my home, my sustenance, my great invincible companion. "Book love," Trollope called it. "It will make your hours pleasant to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/reading-has-always-been-my-home-my-sustenance-my-great-invincible/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) [Explore all 538 Anna Quindlen quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) ## More Children quotes > [I am certain that children always know more than they are able to tell, and that makes the big difference between them and adults,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacques-lusseyran/i-am-certain-that-children-always-know-more-than-they-are-able-to/) [Jacques Lusseyran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jacques-lusseyran/) > [Behind every successful child is an adult who believed in him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-warren/behind-every-successful-child-is-an-adult-who-believed-in-him/) [Rick Warren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-warren/) > [I believe in freedom to do what you want if you aren't hurting others, but pictures of obese protesters giving their children big gulps.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philip-defranco/i-believe-in-freedom-to-do-what-you-want-if-you-aren-t-hurting-others/) [Philip DeFranco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philip-defranco/) > [If the audience likes your work, if they like you, they don't think whether you are married or have children or not. I made…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dimple-kapadia/if-the-audience-likes-your-work-if-they-like-you-they-don-t-think/) [Dimple Kapadia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dimple-kapadia/) > [It doesnt seem to me strange that children should like the macabre, the sensational, and the forbidden.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-hecht/it-doesnt-seem-to-me-strange-that-children-should-like-the-macabre/) [Anthony Hecht](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-hecht/) > [Let children support their parents or be imprisoned.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/let-children-support-their-parents-or-be-imprisoned/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Gratitude isn't just a feeling, it's an action. Expressing gratitude by writing in a journal, taking a photo, or shooting a video creates a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janice-kaplan/gratitude-isn-t-just-a-feeling-it-s-an-action-expressing-gratitude-by/) [Janice Kaplan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janice-kaplan/) > [My embarrassing confession is that my father is a 'Camelot: The Musical' obsessive. So as a child, when we were going to visit relatives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-chibnall/my-embarrassing-confession-is-that-my-father-is-a-camelot-the-musical/) [Chris Chibnall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-chibnall/) > [I have many who keep me going, I am very fortunate in this sense. There is nothing like a child who knows more about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/floyd-cooper/i-have-many-who-keep-me-going-i-am-very-fortunate-in-this-sense-there/) [Floyd Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/floyd-cooper/) > [My school was one of the most beautiful places a child can grow up in. You are surrounded by nature - cats, dogs, birds…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amala-akkineni/my-school-was-one-of-the-most-beautiful-places-a-child-can-grow-up-in/) [Amala Akkineni](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amala-akkineni/) > [A lesser complaint: hair extensions. There are moments on 'All My Children' when half the women actors, young and old, seem to be afflicted…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/camille-paglia/a-lesser-complaint-hair-extensions-there-are-moments-on-all-my/) [Camille Paglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/camille-paglia/) > [As a child, I had a lot of older gay men taking care of me. There's a trust there. I feel like little girls…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-cho/as-a-child-i-had-a-lot-of-older-gay-men-taking-care-of-me-there-s-a/) [Margaret Cho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-cho/) > [If my child had prejudice in his head, I'd be ashamed. I would see it as my failure as a parent.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/salman-rushdie/if-my-child-had-prejudice-in-his-head-i-d-be-ashamed-i-would-see-it/) [Salman Rushdie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/salman-rushdie/) > [“Children's lives are always beginning and adults' lives are always ending. Or is it the opposite? Your childhood is always ending and your adult…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-espach/children-s-lives-are-always-beginning-and-adults-lives-are-always/) [Alison Espach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-espach/) > [As a child I was very involved with sports and I knew at age 9 that I wanted to be an Olympic champion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marion-jones/as-a-child-i-was-very-involved-with-sports-and-i-knew-at-age-9-that-i/) [Marion Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marion-jones/) [Browse all 62,396 Children quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "[After my mother died, I had a feeling that was] not unlike the homesickness that always filled me for the first few days when I went to stay at my grandparents'' house, and even, I was stunned to discover, during the first few months of my freshman year at college. It was not really the home my mother had made that I yearned for. But I was sick in my soul for that greater meaning of home that we understand most purely when we are children, when it is a metaphor for all possible feelings of security, of safety, of what is predictable, gentle, and good in life.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Anna Quindlen" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/after-my-mother-died-i-had-a-feeling-that-was-not-unlike-the/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Children" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/after-my-mother-died-i-had-a-feeling-that-was-not-unlike-the/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab8/anna-quindlen-467_children_after-my-mother-died-i-had-a-feeling-tha_2710339.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab8/anna-quindlen-467_children_after-my-mother-died-i-had-a-feeling-tha_2710339.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab8/anna-quindlen-467_children_after-my-mother-died-i-had-a-feeling-tha_2710339.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“[After my mother died, I had a feeling that was] not unlike the homesickness that always filled me for the…” — Anna Quindlen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Anna Quindlen", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "[After my mother died, I had...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/after-my-mother-died-i-had-a-feeling-that-was-not-unlike-the/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/after-my-mother-died-i-had-a-feeling-that-was-not-unlike-the/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```