--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It is only when parental feelings are…" description: "\"It is only when parental feelings are ineffective or too ambivalent or when the mother's emotions are temporarily engaged elsewhere that children feel ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a28/anna-freud-19196_ambivalent_it-is-only-when-parental-feelings-are-in_1733976.png" --- # It is only when parental feelings are ineffective or too… ![“It is only when parental feelings are ineffective or too ambivalent or when the mother's emotions are temporarily engaged elsewhere that children feel lost.” quote by Anna Freud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a28/anna-freud-19196_ambivalent_it-is-only-when-parental-feelings-are-in_1733976.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a28/anna-freud-19196_ambivalent_it-is-only-when-parental-feelings-are-in_1733976.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a28/anna-freud-19196_ambivalent_it-is-only-when-parental-feelings-are-in_1733976.png) > “It is only when parental feelings are ineffective or too ambivalent or when the mother's emotions are temporarily engaged elsewhere that children feel lost.” [Anna Freud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-freud/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Children feel lost when mothers are emotionally unavailable or conflicted, highlighting the need for consistent parental presence. **In simple terms:** Kids need stable emotional support. Key Takeaway Provide consistent emotional availability for children. Themes parenting emotional health child development attachment Mood empathetic supportive Type psychological educational When to use this quote - family counseling - parenting workshops - school support programs Key Concepts psychology family dynamics maternal influence Questions to Reflect On - What strategies help maintain emotional availability? - How can children be supported when parents are unavailable? A Different Perspective Parents may struggle to balance personal needs with child care. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Ambivalent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ambivalent/) [Ambivalent Mother](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ambivalent-mother-1456657/) [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Children Feel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children-feel/) [Elsewhere](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/elsewhere/) [Emotions Temporarily](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/emotions-temporarily-1456659/) [Engaged](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/engaged/) [Feelings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feelings/) [Lost](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lost/) [Mother](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mother/) [Mother Emotions](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mother-emotions-1456658/) [Parental](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parental/) [Parental Feelings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parental-feelings-1456656/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) ## Related quotes > [I think it's still difficult to write about motherhood and anxiety, that talking about not wanting to be a mother or feeling ambivalent about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurie-foos/i-think-it-s-still-difficult-to-write-about-motherhood-and-anxiety/) [Laurie Foos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurie-foos/) > [“Like sour fruits along the vine, the Prevailing Mother's emotions clung rigidly to her heart, and they were abundant.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-t-solomon/like-sour-fruits-along-the-vine-the-prevailing-mother-s-emotions/) [M.T. Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-t-solomon/) > [Every work of art is the child of its time, often it is the mother of our emotions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wassily-kandinsky/every-work-of-art-is-the-child-of-its-time-often-it-is-the-mother-of/) [Wassily Kandinsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wassily-kandinsky/) > [Every work of art is the child of its age and, in many cases, the mother of our emotions. It follows that each period…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wassily-kandinsky/every-work-of-art-is-the-child-of-its-age-and-in-many-cases-the/) [Wassily Kandinsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wassily-kandinsky/) > [I wanted my children to never feel like they were unsafe. I wanted them to have everything they needed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-barnes/i-wanted-my-children-to-never-feel-like-they-were-unsafe-i-wanted/) [Jimmy Barnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-barnes/) > [Not only is our love for our children sometimes tinged with annoyance, discouragement, and disappointment, the same is true for the love our children…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bruno-bettelheim/not-only-is-our-love-for-our-children-sometimes-tinged-with-annoyance/) [Bruno Bettelheim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bruno-bettelheim/) > [We deprive our children, our charges, of persistence. What I am trying to say is that we need to fail, children need to fail,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-seligman/we-deprive-our-children-our-charges-of-persistence-what-i-am-trying/) [Martin Seligman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-seligman/) > [Children can feel, but they cannot analyse their feelings; and if the analysis is partially effected in thought, they know not how to express…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/children-can-feel-but-they-cannot-analyse-their-feelings-and-if-the/) [Charlotte Bronte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [In their sympathies, children feel nearer animals than adults. They frolic with animals, caress them, share with them feelings neither has words for. Have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessamyn-west/in-their-sympathies-children-feel-nearer-animals-than-adults-they/) [Jessamyn West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessamyn-west/) > [With children, I feel so safe in my predictable world. They will never leave me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nadya-suleman/with-children-i-feel-so-safe-in-my-predictable-world-they-will-never/) [Nadya Suleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nadya-suleman/) > [In their sympathies, children feel nearer animals than adults.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessamyn-west/in-their-sympathies-children-feel-nearer-animals-than-adults/) [Jessamyn West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessamyn-west/) > [I find that when I am involved in the business of life, when I'm working with people, particularly with children, I feel better. A…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thea-bowman/i-find-that-when-i-am-involved-in-the-business-of-life-when-i-m/) [Thea Bowman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thea-bowman/) > [If someone harmed or tortured or killed one of my children I'd feel everything almost anyone else would feel. I'd probably have intense feelings…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/galen-strawson/if-someone-harmed-or-tortured-or-killed-one-of-my-children-i-d-feel/) [Galen Strawson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/galen-strawson/) > [If you are a mother then you know the feeling of true love. Once you look into the eyes of your children you feel…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mandi-nowak/if-you-are-a-mother-then-you-know-the-feeling-of-true-love-once-you/) [Mandi Nowak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mandi-nowak/) > [Sometimes when you watch children, you feel that they show emotions that you, as an adult, can relate to.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hirokazu-kore-eda/sometimes-when-you-watch-children-you-feel-that-they-show-emotions/) [Hirokazu Kore-eda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hirokazu-kore-eda/) ## More by Anna Freud > [Everything becomes so problematic because of basic faults: from a discontent with myself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-freud/everything-becomes-so-problematic-because-of-basic-faults-from-a/) [Anna Freud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-freud/) > [If some longing goes unmet, don't be astonished. We call that Life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-freud/if-some-longing-goes-unmet-don-t-be-astonished-we-call-that-life/) [Anna Freud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-freud/) > [The selection of leadership must follow practical considerations. Maybe I look at things too pessimistically?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-freud/the-selection-of-leadership-must-follow-practical-considerations/) [Anna Freud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-freud/) > [“I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all of the time.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-freud/i-was-always-looking-outside-myself-for-strength-and-confidence-but/) [Anna Freud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-freud/) > [Everyone here says in a surprised manner that I have grown... they are so stupid and do not notice that I am standing up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-freud/everyone-here-says-in-a-surprised-manner-that-i-have-grown-they-are/) [Anna Freud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-freud/) > [Why do we go around acting as though everything was friendship and reliability when basically everything everywhere is full of sudden hate and ugliness?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-freud/why-do-we-go-around-acting-as-though-everything-was-friendship-and/) [Anna Freud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-freud/) > [Sometimes the most beautiful thing is precisely the one that comes unexpectedly and unearned, hence something given truly as a present.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-freud/sometimes-the-most-beautiful-thing-is-precisely-the-one-that-comes/) [Anna Freud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-freud/) > [What I have always wanted for myself is much more primitive. It is probably nothing more than the affection of the people with whom…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-freud/what-i-have-always-wanted-for-myself-is-much-more-primitive-it-is/) [Anna Freud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-freud/) > [Creative minds have always been known to survive any kind of bad training.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-freud/creative-minds-have-always-been-known-to-survive-any-kind-of-bad/) [Anna Freud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-freud/) > [Things are not as we would like them to be. There is only one way to deal with it, namely to try and be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-freud/things-are-not-as-we-would-like-them-to-be-there-is-only-one-way-to/) [Anna Freud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-freud/) > [“There are few situations in life which are more difficult to cope with than an adolescent son or daughter during the attempt to liberate…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-freud/there-are-few-situations-in-life-which-are-more-difficult-to-cope/) [Anna Freud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-freud/) > [It is there all the time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-freud/it-is-there-all-the-time/) [Anna Freud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-freud/) > [Sometimes the most beautiful thing is precisely the one that comes unexpectedly and unearned.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-freud/sometimes-the-most-beautiful-thing-is-precisely-the-one-that-comes-2/) [Anna Freud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-freud/) > [I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but it comes from within. It was there all the time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-freud/i-was-always-looking-outside-myself-for-strength-and-confidence-but-2/) [Anna Freud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-freud/) > [Who promised you that only for joy were you brought to this earth?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-freud/who-promised-you-that-only-for-joy-were-you-brought-to-this-earth/) [Anna Freud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-freud/) [Explore all 33 Anna Freud quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-freud/) ## More Ambivalent quotes > [“I find it ironic that someone so ambivalent about living fights so hard to survive.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denise-grover-swank/i-find-it-ironic-that-someone-so-ambivalent-about-living-fights-so/) [Denise Grover Swank](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denise-grover-swank/) > [Americans have always had an ambivalent attitude toward intelligence. When they feel threatened, they want a lot of it, and when they don't, they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-a-walters/americans-have-always-had-an-ambivalent-attitude-toward-intelligence/) [Vernon A. Walters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-a-walters/) > [When you 'make good,' you find out who your real friends are. You find out pretty quick. And it's a very ambivalent feeling, because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-camp/when-you-make-good-you-find-out-who-your-real-friends-are-you-find/) [Greg Camp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-camp/) > [There is scarcely room for doubt that something in the psychological relation of a mother-in-law to a son-in-law breeds hostility between them and makes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sigmund-freud/there-is-scarcely-room-for-doubt-that-something-in-the-psychological/) [Sigmund Freud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sigmund-freud/) > [The attitude of the American public toward the external projection of American power has been much more ambivalent. The public supported America's engagement in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zbigniew-brzezinski/the-attitude-of-the-american-public-toward-the-external-projection-of/) [Zbigniew Brzezinski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zbigniew-brzezinski/) > [Gollum was so interesting to me because he's morally ambivalent, and I love the notion of a quest that is to lose something. Not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-serkis/gollum-was-so-interesting-to-me-because-he-s-morally-ambivalent-and-i/) [Andy Serkis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-serkis/) > [The American public is somewhat ambivalent about what they expect out of thenational forest.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-regula/the-american-public-is-somewhat-ambivalent-about-what-they-expect-out/) [Ralph Regula](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-regula/) > [What does it mean then to live with one another? It can be unhappy, it can be wretched, it can be ambivalent, it can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-butler/what-does-it-mean-then-to-live-with-one-another-it-can-be-unhappy-it/) [Judith Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-butler/) > [“The unconscious operation of the attachment system via internal working models probably plays an important part in the choice of marital partner and relationship…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeremy-holmes/the-unconscious-operation-of-the-attachment-system-via-internal/) [Jeremy Holmes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-holmes/) > [I'd like to see a much more open Monarchy, myself. I used to think they were completely useless and we should get rid of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/helen-mirren/i-d-like-to-see-a-much-more-open-monarchy-myself-i-used-to-think-they/) [Helen Mirren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/helen-mirren/) > [The more ambivalent you are and the more uncertain you are, then you can get something that you cannot anticipate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elia-kazan/the-more-ambivalent-you-are-and-the-more-uncertain-you-are-then-you/) [Elia Kazan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elia-kazan/) > [We all parent the best we can. Being human, we're ambivalent. We want perfection for our babies, but we also need sleep.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erica-jong/we-all-parent-the-best-we-can-being-human-we-re-ambivalent-we-want/) [Erica Jong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erica-jong/) > [It's time to "stop being ambivalent." ... They (groups like the Islamic State) have no ideology beyond violence and chaos and the slaughter of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barack-obama/it-s-time-to-stop-being-ambivalent-they-groups-like-the-islamic-state/) [Barack Obama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barack-obama/) > [We all have ambivalent feelings toward work ... We try to avoid it, and yet we seem to require it for our emotional well-being.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-florman/we-all-have-ambivalent-feelings-toward-work-we-try-to-avoid-it-and/) [Samuel Florman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-florman/) > [I worked with fantastic actors, fantastic directors. People I would never otherwise have met. Was I limited? Yes. Did I use it as I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/valeria-golino/i-worked-with-fantastic-actors-fantastic-directors-people-i-would/) [Valeria Golino](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/valeria-golino/) [Browse all 89 Ambivalent quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ambivalent/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It is only when parental feelings are ineffective or too ambivalent or when the mother's emotions are temporarily engaged elsewhere that children feel lost.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Anna Freud" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-freud/it-is-only-when-parental-feelings-are-ineffective-or-too-ambivalent/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Ambivalent" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-freud/it-is-only-when-parental-feelings-are-ineffective-or-too-ambivalent/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a28/anna-freud-19196_ambivalent_it-is-only-when-parental-feelings-are-in_1733976.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a28/anna-freud-19196_ambivalent_it-is-only-when-parental-feelings-are-in_1733976.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a28/anna-freud-19196_ambivalent_it-is-only-when-parental-feelings-are-in_1733976.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It is only when parental feelings are ineffective or too ambivalent or when the mother's emotions are…” — Anna Freud", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Anna Freud", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-freud/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "It is only when parental feelings...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-freud/it-is-only-when-parental-feelings-are-ineffective-or-too-ambivalent/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-freud/it-is-only-when-parental-feelings-are-ineffective-or-too-ambivalent/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```