--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: You surround yourself with your pain or…" description: "\"You surround yourself with your pain or you avoid it and let it find you when you are trying to do other things\" — Ann Brashares" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/817/ann-brashares-572_pain_you-surround-yourself-with-your-pain-or_3216996.png" --- # You surround yourself with your pain or you avoid it and… ![“You surround yourself with your pain or you avoid it and let it find you when you are trying to do other things” quote by Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/817/ann-brashares-572_pain_you-surround-yourself-with-your-pain-or_3216996.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/817/ann-brashares-572_pain_you-surround-yourself-with-your-pain-or_3216996.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/817/ann-brashares-572_pain_you-surround-yourself-with-your-pain-or_3216996.png) > “You surround yourself with your pain or you avoid it and let it find you when you are trying to do other things” [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. She notes that confronting pain directly prevents it from resurfacing unexpectedly during other activities. **In simple terms:** Face pain, don’t avoid it. Key Takeaway Deal with pain head‑on. Themes self‑awareness emotional health personal growth Mood introspective motivational Type psychological self‑help When to use this quote - relationships - career challenges - creative projects - health recovery Key Concepts Avoidance vs. confrontation mindfulness Questions to Reflect On - What pain are you avoiding? - How might confronting it change your life? A Different Perspective Avoidance can be a coping mechanism for trauma. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain/) ## Related quotes > [The truth is you can't try to let go. Trying is the opposite of letting go. To let go is to relinquish trying. To…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adyashanti/the-truth-is-you-can-t-try-to-let-go-trying-is-the-opposite-of/) [Adyashanti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adyashanti/) > [When we let go of wanting something else to happen in this moment, we are taking a profound step toward being able to encounter…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-kabat-zinn/when-we-let-go-of-wanting-something-else-to-happen-in-this-moment-we/) [Jon Kabat-Zinn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-kabat-zinn/) > [Let it be whatever it will be. Give up trying to manipulate. This is Freedom.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mooji/let-it-be-whatever-it-will-be-give-up-trying-to-manipulate-this-is/) [Mooji](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mooji/) > [“When something seems wrong in your life, the only way to have resolution with it is to let it go. Trying to make it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beth-johnson/when-something-seems-wrong-in-your-life-the-only-way-to-have/) [Beth Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beth-johnson/) > [“I had to let go first. Trying to control the timing and outcome was a terrible waste of energy. My intentions were already out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bronnie-ware/i-had-to-let-go-first-trying-to-control-the-timing-and-outcome-was-a/) [Bronnie Ware](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bronnie-ware/) > [“Maybe not, maybe not. Cheer up, Becky, and let's go on trying.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/maybe-not-maybe-not-cheer-up-becky-and-let-s-go-on-trying/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [So, in meditation practice, the best way to get somewhere is to let go of trying to get anywhere at all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-kabat-zinn/so-in-meditation-practice-the-best-way-to-get-somewhere-is-to-let-go/) [Jon Kabat-Zinn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-kabat-zinn/) > [“There are odd things in life, and one of them is pain. The odd thing about pain is this: you can't avoid it. You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chad-eastham/there-are-odd-things-in-life-and-one-of-them-is-pain-the-odd-thing/) [Chad Eastham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chad-eastham/) > [“Go to the pain rather than avoid it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ray-dalio/go-to-the-pain-rather-than-avoid-it/) [Ray Dalio](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ray-dalio/) > [“To heal, you have to give yourself to the pain. You cannot avoid facing yourself your whole life.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bryant-mcgill/to-heal-you-have-to-give-yourself-to-the-pain-you-cannot-avoid-facing/) [Bryant McGill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bryant-mcgill/) > [“You can bury your pain or avoid it. You can tattoo over it. But you won't be free of it until you feel it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suanne-laqueur/you-can-bury-your-pain-or-avoid-it-you-can-tattoo-over-it-but-you-won/) [Suanne Laqueur](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suanne-laqueur/) > [“Avoidance is never the answer. Yes, life is all about pain and trouble and frustration and anger, but it's also about love and friendship…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-leighton/avoidance-is-never-the-answer-yes-life-is-all-about-pain-and-trouble/) [M. Leighton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-leighton/) > [Don't show so much of loveon anyone becauseit creates a non-curable pain when they avoid u.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hemant/don-t-show-so-much-of-loveon-anyone-becauseit-creates-a-non-curable/) [Hemant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hemant/) > [Don't show so much of love on anyone because it creates a non-curable pain when they avoid u.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/don-t-show-so-much-of-love-on-anyone-because-it-creates-a-non-curable/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [To avoid pain, they avoid pleasure. To avoid death, they avoid life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/to-avoid-pain-they-avoid-pleasure-to-avoid-death-they-avoid-life/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) ## More by Ann Brashares > [“Because the truth wouldn't be comforting and wouldn't bring them closer again.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/because-the-truth-wouldn-t-be-comforting-and-wouldn-t-bring-them/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [“It’s by living that you live more.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/it-s-by-living-that-you-live-more/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [“¿Iban a sumirla en la tristeza antes de hacerla feliz? No, por favor.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/iban-a-sumirla-en-la-tristeza-antes-de-hacerla-feliz-no-por-favor/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [“When she made her way to the big picture window that framed the dining room table she froze. She stopped breathing. The anger was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/when-she-made-her-way-to-the-big-picture-window-that-framed-the/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [“Lena remembered herself in all the old familiar things they said. She existed in her friends; there she was. All the parts of herself…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/lena-remembered-herself-in-all-the-old-familiar-things-they-said-she/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [Everyone is fragile. Everything beautiful is fragile](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/everyone-is-fragile-everything-beautiful-is-fragile/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [“but it was hard to give the real world much notice when he was this close.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/but-it-was-hard-to-give-the-real-world-much-notice-when-he-was-this/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [“You don't have time, Len. That is the most bitter and the most beautiful piece of advice I can offer. If you don't have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/you-don-t-have-time-len-that-is-the-most-bitter-and-the-most/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [“You couldn’t count on Providence for anything ever.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/you-couldn-t-count-on-providence-for-anything-ever/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [Gestating characters feels something like the mental equivalent of gestating a baby. In both cases, to create them you lose yourself. Or at least…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/gestating-characters-feels-something-like-the-mental-equivalent-of/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [“He could take happiness from her, but could he give any?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/he-could-take-happiness-from-her-but-could-he-give-any/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [The weather turned. Her skin seemed to grow a million extra pores, and all of them opened to take in the warmth and tenderness…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/the-weather-turned-her-skin-seemed-to-grow-a-million-extra-pores-and/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [She wanted him to notice her so much.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/she-wanted-him-to-notice-her-so-much/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [“No matter how it felt to be near him, she had to keep her swollen heart in check.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/no-matter-how-it-felt-to-be-near-him-she-had-to-keep-her-swollen/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [Maybe happiness was just a matter of the little upticks- the traffic signal that said "Walk" the second you go there- and downticks- the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/maybe-happiness-was-just-a-matter-of-the-little-upticks-the-traffic/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) [Explore all 465 Ann Brashares quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) ## More Pain quotes > [Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-morrison/pain-is-meant-to-wake-us-up-people-try-to-hide-their-pain-but-they-re/) [Jim Morrison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-morrison/) > [“If I let myself think of it the pain and anger were still fresh, adrenalin racing down my limbs to pool, hot and itchy,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kylie-ladd/if-i-let-myself-think-of-it-the-pain-and-anger-were-still-fresh/) [Kylie Ladd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kylie-ladd/) > [“I locked the door and turned on the water to fill the tub. I made it so hot that I had to get in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-crandall/i-locked-the-door-and-turned-on-the-water-to-fill-the-tub-i-made-it/) [Susan Crandall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-crandall/) > [The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-only-person-i-ve-ever-purposely-caused-pain-here-is-myself-by/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I want people to hear my lyrics and my melodies and say, 'That dude's in pain.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ivan-moody/i-want-people-to-hear-my-lyrics-and-my-melodies-and-say-that-dude-s/) [Ivan Moody](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ivan-moody/) > [A poet is wounded into speech, and he examines these wounds, meticulously, to discover how to heal them. The bad poet harangues at the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-r-delany/a-poet-is-wounded-into-speech-and-he-examines-these-wounds/) [Samuel R. Delany](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-r-delany/) > [It hurts wanting the best for someone you love, even if they feel the best isn't you. That's real love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/it-hurts-wanting-the-best-for-someone-you-love-even-if-they-feel-the/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Tryna hide this pain with these pain killers, she said the storms only will last a little while but shit it got me feeling…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/myself/tryna-hide-this-pain-with-these-pain-killers-she-said-the-storms-only/) Myself > [“do not misunderstand person by beauty You really do not know its real or Mask on dirty thoughts”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohammed-zaki-ansari/do-not-misunderstand-person-by-beauty-you-really-do-not-know-its-real/) [Mohammed Zaki Ansari](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohammed-zaki-ansari/) > [Many Republicans have always reminded me of professional WWF wrestlers. They come into the ring all pumped up and acting like they're invincible and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-feig/many-republicans-have-always-reminded-me-of-professional-wwf/) [Paul Feig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-feig/) > [“What is there, in the mention of Time To Come, that is so quick to wrench at the heart, to inflict a pain in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-llewellyn/what-is-there-in-the-mention-of-time-to-come-that-is-so-quick-to/) [Richard Llewellyn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-llewellyn/) > [“Where there is doubt (shanka), there is misery. The moment one begins to doubt the knowledge that, 'I am Chandubhai,' misery arises. Once one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dada-bhagwan/where-there-is-doubt-shanka-there-is-misery-the-moment-one-begins-to/) [Dada Bhagwan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dada-bhagwan/) > [Stop trying to give me hope ... I have no room left for it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jenn-f/stop-trying-to-give-me-hope-i-have-no-room-left-for-it/) [Jenn F](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jenn-f/) > [There's only so much for a man to take...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kirsten-gilchrist/there-s-only-so-much-for-a-man-to-take/) Kirsten Gilchrist > [Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/khalil-gibran/your-pain-is-the-breaking-of-the-shell-that-encloses-your/) [Khalil Gibran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/khalil-gibran/) [Browse all 17,919 Pain quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You surround yourself with your pain or you avoid it and let it find you when you are trying to do other things", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ann Brashares" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/you-surround-yourself-with-your-pain-or-you-avoid-it-and-let-it-find/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Pain" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/you-surround-yourself-with-your-pain-or-you-avoid-it-and-let-it-find/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/817/ann-brashares-572_pain_you-surround-yourself-with-your-pain-or_3216996.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/817/ann-brashares-572_pain_you-surround-yourself-with-your-pain-or_3216996.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/817/ann-brashares-572_pain_you-surround-yourself-with-your-pain-or_3216996.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You surround yourself with your pain or you avoid it and let it find you when you are trying to do other…” — Ann Brashares", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Ann Brashares", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "You surround yourself with your pain...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/you-surround-yourself-with-your-pain-or-you-avoid-it-and-let-it-find/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/you-surround-yourself-with-your-pain-or-you-avoid-it-and-let-it-find/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```