--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: How sad it was, Carmen thought, that you…" description: "\"How sad it was, Carmen thought, that you acted awful when you were desperately sad and hurt and wanted to be loved. How tragic then, the way everyone a..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a7/ann-brashares-572_awful_how-sad-it-was-carmen-thought-that-you-a_1888327.jpg" --- # How sad it was, Carmen thought, that you acted awful when… ![“How sad it was, Carmen thought, that you acted awful when you were desperately sad and hurt and wanted to be loved. How tragic then, the way everyone avoided you and tiptoed around you when you really needed them. Carmen knew this vicious predicament as well as anyone in the world. How bitter it…” quote by Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a7/ann-brashares-572_awful_how-sad-it-was-carmen-thought-that-you-a_1888327.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a7/ann-brashares-572_awful_how-sad-it-was-carmen-thought-that-you-a_1888327.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a7/ann-brashares-572_awful_how-sad-it-was-carmen-thought-that-you-a_1888327.jpg) > “How sad it was, Carmen thought, that you acted awful when you were desperately sad and hurt and wanted to be loved. How tragic then, the way everyone avoided you and tiptoed around you when you really needed them. Carmen knew this vicious predicament as well as anyone in the world. How bitter it felt when you acted badly to everyone and ended up hating yourself the most.” [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. When we are deeply hurt, we may lash out, pushing others away, which then fuels self‑hatred and isolation. **In simple terms:** Pain can cause harmful behavior and self‑hate. Key Takeaway Recognize hurt, choose compassion over retaliation. Themes emotions relationships self‑esteem Mood sad reflective empathetic Type advice psychological literary When to use this quote - breakups - family conflict - mental health therapy - support groups Key Concepts psychology behavioral cycles attachment Questions to Reflect On - What triggers your defensive actions? - How can you seek support when feeling vulnerable? A Different Perspective Healing requires confronting pain, not just blaming others. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Hate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hate/) [Hating yourself](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hating-yourself/) [Predicaments](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/predicaments/) [Tragic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tragic/) [Wanted to be loved](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wanted-to-be-loved/) [World](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/world/) ## Related quotes > [“Not even you can reach me here, Carmen thought.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/not-even-you-can-reach-me-here-carmen-thought/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [“Barbara appraised her with critical eyes. ‘Oh my. Well, this is going to need some work.’ She went right to Carmen’s hips and pulled…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/barbara-appraised-her-with-critical-eyes-oh-my-well-this-is-going-to/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [I wish I felt that I acted like Korra in any part of my life. I really carry around 'Be the leaf' in my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-varney/i-wish-i-felt-that-i-acted-like-korra-in-any-part-of-my-life-i-really/) [Janet Varney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-varney/) > [“Jason still wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He’d acted like an idiot, announcing in front of everyone that she was a knockout.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-riordan/jason-still-wasn-t-sure-how-he-felt-about-that-he-d-acted-like-an/) [Rick Riordan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-riordan/) > [Bill Clinton was a great politician. Bill Clinton loved a fight. He was willing to fight. But he also wanted to be loved. He…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-reich/bill-clinton-was-a-great-politician-bill-clinton-loved-a-fight-he-was/) [Robert Reich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-reich/) > [She hadn't wanted to be loved carefully, only well.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-morton/she-hadn-t-wanted-to-be-loved-carefully-only-well/) [Kate Morton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-morton/) > [No one ever loved anyone the way that person wanted to be loved.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mignon-mclaughlin/no-one-ever-loved-anyone-the-way-that-person-wanted-to-be-loved/) [Mignon McLaughlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mignon-mclaughlin/) > [I didn't know the language of my own wisdom. I wanted to be loved and after all the various relationships I went through, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-nepo/i-didn-t-know-the-language-of-my-own-wisdom-i-wanted-to-be-loved-and/) [Mark Nepo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-nepo/) > [I always was a rebel...but on the other hand, I wanted to be loved and accepted...and not just be a loudmouth, lunatic, poet, musician.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-lennon/i-always-was-a-rebel-but-on-the-other-hand-i-wanted-to-be-loved-and/) [John Lennon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-lennon/) > [I've never wanted to be loved. And God Knows no one's done it yet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-kleypas/i-ve-never-wanted-to-be-loved-and-god-knows-no-one-s-done-it-yet/) [Lisa Kleypas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-kleypas/) > [I am going to say something I have never said before and this is the truth. I have no reason to lie to you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-jackson/i-am-going-to-say-something-i-have-never-said-before-and-this-is-the/) [Michael Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-jackson/) > [I was born in an odd spot and was a very sensitive kid. My feelings could get hurt so easily because I always wanted…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dolly-parton/i-was-born-in-an-odd-spot-and-was-a-very-sensitive-kid-my-feelings/) [Dolly Parton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dolly-parton/) > [He wanted to be loved for being just what he was. In this community of Yskalnari there was harmony, but no love. He no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-ende/he-wanted-to-be-loved-for-being-just-what-he-was-in-this-community-of/) [Michael Ende](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-ende/) > [To be simple is the best thing in the world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gilbert-k-chesterton/to-be-simple-is-the-best-thing-in-the-world/) [Gilbert K. Chesterton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gilbert-k-chesterton/) > [I always thought it was what I wanted: to be loved and admired. Now I think perhaps I'd like to be known.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristin-hannah/i-always-thought-it-was-what-i-wanted-to-be-loved-and-admired-now-i/) [Kristin Hannah](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristin-hannah/) ## More by Ann Brashares > [“Because the truth wouldn't be comforting and wouldn't bring them closer again.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/because-the-truth-wouldn-t-be-comforting-and-wouldn-t-bring-them/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [“It’s by living that you live more.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/it-s-by-living-that-you-live-more/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [“¿Iban a sumirla en la tristeza antes de hacerla feliz? No, por favor.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/iban-a-sumirla-en-la-tristeza-antes-de-hacerla-feliz-no-por-favor/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [“When she made her way to the big picture window that framed the dining room table she froze. She stopped breathing. The anger was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/when-she-made-her-way-to-the-big-picture-window-that-framed-the/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [“Lena remembered herself in all the old familiar things they said. She existed in her friends; there she was. All the parts of herself…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/lena-remembered-herself-in-all-the-old-familiar-things-they-said-she/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [Everyone is fragile. Everything beautiful is fragile](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/everyone-is-fragile-everything-beautiful-is-fragile/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [“but it was hard to give the real world much notice when he was this close.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/but-it-was-hard-to-give-the-real-world-much-notice-when-he-was-this/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [“You don't have time, Len. That is the most bitter and the most beautiful piece of advice I can offer. If you don't have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/you-don-t-have-time-len-that-is-the-most-bitter-and-the-most/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [“You couldn’t count on Providence for anything ever.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/you-couldn-t-count-on-providence-for-anything-ever/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [Gestating characters feels something like the mental equivalent of gestating a baby. In both cases, to create them you lose yourself. Or at least…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/gestating-characters-feels-something-like-the-mental-equivalent-of/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [“He could take happiness from her, but could he give any?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/he-could-take-happiness-from-her-but-could-he-give-any/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [The weather turned. Her skin seemed to grow a million extra pores, and all of them opened to take in the warmth and tenderness…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/the-weather-turned-her-skin-seemed-to-grow-a-million-extra-pores-and/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [She wanted him to notice her so much.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/she-wanted-him-to-notice-her-so-much/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [“No matter how it felt to be near him, she had to keep her swollen heart in check.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/no-matter-how-it-felt-to-be-near-him-she-had-to-keep-her-swollen/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [Maybe happiness was just a matter of the little upticks- the traffic signal that said "Walk" the second you go there- and downticks- the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/maybe-happiness-was-just-a-matter-of-the-little-upticks-the-traffic/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) [Explore all 465 Ann Brashares quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) ## More Awful quotes > [It must be that I am dreaming, and that I shall awaken in a moment to see that awful knife descending toward my heart-…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edgar-rice-burroughs/it-must-be-that-i-am-dreaming-and-that-i-shall-awaken-in-a-moment-to/) [Edgar Rice Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edgar-rice-burroughs/) > [I spent two years in Palo Alto - what an awful, suffocating place for those of us who don't care about yoga, yogurts and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evgeny-morozov/i-spent-two-years-in-palo-alto-what-an-awful-suffocating-place-for/) [Evgeny Morozov](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evgeny-morozov/) > [Layla brought her arms around herself, no doubt because she was remembering the feel of another, stronger set. "I have wanted to, but he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-r-ward/layla-brought-her-arms-around-herself-no-doubt-because-she-was/) [J.R. Ward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-r-ward/) > [You've seen the first issue and what happened in the last page. Some pretty awful stuff. I don't know why I seem to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/declan-shalvey/you-ve-seen-the-first-issue-and-what-happened-in-the-last-page-some/) [Declan Shalvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/declan-shalvey/) > [It is not like studying German, where you mull along, in a groping, uncertain way, for thirty years; and at last, just as you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/it-is-not-like-studying-german-where-you-mull-along-in-a-groping/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [There was a special challenge in describing the awful childhood of a person who happens to be my own husband. It was very painful…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pamela-stephenson/there-was-a-special-challenge-in-describing-the-awful-childhood-of-a/) [Pamela Stephenson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pamela-stephenson/) > [On balance the moral influence of religion has been awful.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-weinberg/on-balance-the-moral-influence-of-religion-has-been-awful/) [Steven Weinberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-weinberg/) > [When you finish a poem, it clicks shut like the top of a jewel box, but prose is endless. I haven't experienced an awful…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kenneth-koch/when-you-finish-a-poem-it-clicks-shut-like-the-top-of-a-jewel-box-but/) [Kenneth Koch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kenneth-koch/) > [Fascism: awful stench of saw and axe.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michel-leiris/fascism-awful-stench-of-saw-and-axe/) [Michel Leiris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michel-leiris/) > [No one with a bad tie is getting my vote. Some Lib Dems wear the most shockingly awful ties.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/freddie-fox/no-one-with-a-bad-tie-is-getting-my-vote-some-lib-dems-wear-the-most/) [Freddie Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/freddie-fox/) > [“Here she was back in the brightly lit world she had been avoiding for twenty years, and it was exactly as awful as she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-charles-wilson/here-she-was-back-in-the-brightly-lit-world-she-had-been-avoiding-for/) [Robert Charles Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-charles-wilson/) > [I'm pretty indiscriminating, and I have awful taste, generally.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nellie-mckay/i-m-pretty-indiscriminating-and-i-have-awful-taste-generally/) [Nellie McKay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nellie-mckay/) > [The blessed Religion revealed in the word of God will remain an eternal and awful monument to prove that the best Institution may be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-washington/the-blessed-religion-revealed-in-the-word-of-god-will-remain-an/) [George Washington](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-washington/) > [“I am awful. I am heartless. I am scared that these things are actually true.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/i-am-awful-i-am-heartless-i-am-scared-that-these-things-are-actually/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [Democracy is an awful way to run a country, but it's the best system we have.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/winston-churchill/democracy-is-an-awful-way-to-run-a-country-but-it-s-the-best-system/) [Winston Churchill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/winston-churchill/) Browse all 1,826 Awful quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "How sad it was, Carmen thought, that you acted awful when you were desperately sad and hurt and wanted to be loved. How tragic then, the way everyone avoided you and tiptoed around you when you really needed them. Carmen knew this vicious predicament as well as anyone in the world. How bitter it felt when you acted badly to everyone and ended up hating yourself the most.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ann Brashares" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/how-sad-it-was-carmen-thought-that-you-acted-awful-when-you-were/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Awful" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/how-sad-it-was-carmen-thought-that-you-acted-awful-when-you-were/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a7/ann-brashares-572_awful_how-sad-it-was-carmen-thought-that-you-a_1888327.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a7/ann-brashares-572_awful_how-sad-it-was-carmen-thought-that-you-a_1888327.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a7/ann-brashares-572_awful_how-sad-it-was-carmen-thought-that-you-a_1888327.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“How sad it was, Carmen thought, that you acted awful when you were desperately sad and hurt and wanted to be…” — Ann Brashares", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Ann Brashares", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "How sad it was, Carmen thought,...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/how-sad-it-was-carmen-thought-that-you-acted-awful-when-you-were/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/how-sad-it-was-carmen-thought-that-you-acted-awful-when-you-were/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```