--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: People who believe that they are going to…" description: "\"People who believe that they are going to be excommunicated and shamed, or whatever other dark things may happen to them, are much less likely to enter..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e10/andrew-solomon-1140_believe_people-who-believe-that-they-are-going-t_862989.jpg" --- # People who believe that they are going to be… ![“People who believe that they are going to be excommunicated and shamed, or whatever other dark things may happen to them, are much less likely to enter open, loving relationships. And they are also much less likely to have the self-esteem that is required to be monogamous and loving. And in…” quote by Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e10/andrew-solomon-1140_believe_people-who-believe-that-they-are-going-t_862989.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e10/andrew-solomon-1140_believe_people-who-believe-that-they-are-going-t_862989.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e10/andrew-solomon-1140_believe_people-who-believe-that-they-are-going-t_862989.jpg) > “People who believe that they are going to be excommunicated and shamed, or whatever other dark things may happen to them, are much less likely to enter open, loving relationships. And they are also much less likely to have the self-esteem that is required to be monogamous and loving. And in consequence, they are much less likely to create families.” [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Fear of rejection and shame undermines self‑esteem, hindering the ability to form loving, monogamous relationships and families. **In simple terms:** Fear blocks love and family building. Key Takeaway Address shame to foster healthy relationships. Themes shame self‑esteem relationships family mental health Mood introspective hopeful Type psychological self‑help When to use this quote - counselling - community support - relationship workshops Key Concepts psychology social stigma attachment theory Questions to Reflect On - What fears limit your intimacy? - How can you rebuild self‑esteem? A Different Perspective Overcoming fear is a gradual process requiring support. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Church](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/church/) [Consequence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/consequence/) [Dark](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dark/) [Dark things](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dark-things/) [Esteem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/esteem/) [Loving relationships](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loving-relationships/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Self](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self/) [Self esteem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-esteem/) ## Related quotes > [Reader! To whatever visible church, synagogue, or mosque you may belong! See if you do not find more true religion among the host of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/moses-mendelssohn/reader-to-whatever-visible-church-synagogue-or-mosque-you-may-belong/) [Moses Mendelssohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/moses-mendelssohn/) > [The Catholic Church sees voluntary vampirism as a kind of suicide. I tend to agree. Though the Pope also excommunicated all animators, unless we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/the-catholic-church-sees-voluntary-vampirism-as-a-kind-of-suicide-i/) [Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/) > [The story goes that a public sinner was excommunicated and forbidden entry to the church. He took his woes to God. 'They won't let…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brennan-manning/the-story-goes-that-a-public-sinner-was-excommunicated-and-forbidden/) [Brennan Manning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brennan-manning/) > [“The actors of the era knew they were excommunicated. Entering the profession amounted to choosing Hell. And the Church discerned in them her worst…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/albert-camus/the-actors-of-the-era-knew-they-were-excommunicated-entering-the/) [Albert Camus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/albert-camus/) > [Adulterers, in the first stages of the church, were excommunicated forever, and unqualified all their lives for bearing a part in Christian assemblies, notwithstanding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-addison/adulterers-in-the-first-stages-of-the-church-were-excommunicated/) [Joseph Addison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-addison/) > [“Who becomes a social pariah and excommunicated from civil society and who trots off to college bears scant relationship to the morality of crimes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-alexander/who-becomes-a-social-pariah-and-excommunicated-from-civil-society-and/) [Michelle Alexander](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-alexander/) > [ If anyone assert the fabulous pre-existence of souls and shall submit to the monstrous doctrine that follows from it, let him be anathema \[excommunicated\] ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justinian-i/if-anyone-assert-the-fabulous-pre-existence-of-souls-and-shall-submit/) [Justinian I](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justinian-i/) > [“The bishop was aghast. "You would threaten me?" Christian didn't hesitate with his answer."For her life, aye." "You would jeopardize your soul for her?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinley-macgregor/the-bishop-was-aghast-you-would-threaten-me-christian-didn-t-hesitate/) [Kinley MacGregor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinley-macgregor/) > [In 1054, the patriarch of Constantinople and the pope excommunicated each other. 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A wondrous subtle thing is love, for here were we two, who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-conan-doyle/miss-morstan-and-i-stood-together-and-her-hand-was-in-mine-a-wondrous/) [Arthur Conan Doyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-conan-doyle/) > [What I try to do is read stuff that won't deal with the dangerous dark things I hope I am writing about.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-busch/what-i-try-to-do-is-read-stuff-that-won-t-deal-with-the-dangerous/) [Frederick Busch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-busch/) ## More by Andrew Solomon > [“If you banish the dragons, you banish the heroes...”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/if-you-banish-the-dragons-you-banish-the-heroes/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [I started traveling out of curiosity, but I have come to believe in travel's political importance, that encouraging a nation's citizenry to travel may…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/i-started-traveling-out-of-curiosity-but-i-have-come-to-believe-in/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [When I was born, the wisdom was that homosexuality was an illness; that it was caused largely by somebody's mother, and a distorted relationship…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/when-i-was-born-the-wisdom-was-that-homosexuality-was-an-illness-that/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [A lot of people are very political when they are young, and then they outgrow it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/a-lot-of-people-are-very-political-when-they-are-young-and-then-they/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [Having always imagined myself in a fairly slim minority, I suddenly saw that I was in a vast company. 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And to give that up for, like, the TV, the cars,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bruce-springsteen/i-understand-that-it-s-the-music-that-keeps-me-alive-that-s-my/) [Bruce Springsteen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bruce-springsteen/) > [I don't really like too much credit. I know nobody's going to believe this, but I'd rather be able to score goals and nobody…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bradley-wright-phillips/i-don-t-really-like-too-much-credit-i-know-nobody-s-going-to-believe/) [Bradley Wright-Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bradley-wright-phillips/) > [“What I have a problem with is not so much religion or god, but faith. When you say you believe something in your heart…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/penn-jillette/what-i-have-a-problem-with-is-not-so-much-religion-or-god-but-faith/) [Penn Jillette](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/penn-jillette/) > [Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. 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Garfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-a-garfield/) > [We instantly believe everything we think. Isn't that insane? It's good for us to explore the depravity of our minds, so we know we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/krishna-das/we-instantly-believe-everything-we-think-isn-t-that-insane-it-s-good/) [Krishna Das](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/krishna-das/) Browse all 47,704 Believe quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "People who believe that they are going to be excommunicated and shamed, or whatever other dark things may happen to them, are much less likely to enter open, loving relationships. And they are also much less likely to have the self-esteem that is required to be monogamous and loving. 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