--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Nowadays, people often ask me when I came…" description: "\"Nowadays, people often ask me when I came out, generalising from the experience of many young people who announce themselves to the world on a particul..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c0/andrew-solomon-1140_experience_nowadays-people-often-ask-me-when-i-came_1816098.jpg" --- # Nowadays, people often ask me when I came out… ![“Nowadays, people often ask me when I came out, generalising from the experience of many young people who announce themselves to the world on a particular afternoon. But I did not divorce my reticence in a single sharp break. Rather, I seeped out like a spreading wine stain.” quote by Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c0/andrew-solomon-1140_experience_nowadays-people-often-ask-me-when-i-came_1816098.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c0/andrew-solomon-1140_experience_nowadays-people-often-ask-me-when-i-came_1816098.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c0/andrew-solomon-1140_experience_nowadays-people-often-ask-me-when-i-came_1816098.jpg) > “Nowadays, people often ask me when I came out, generalising from the experience of many young people who announce themselves to the world on a particular afternoon. But I did not divorce my reticence in a single sharp break. Rather, I seeped out like a spreading wine stain.” [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Coming out is a gradual, personal process, not a single dramatic event, and it unfolds uniquely for each individual. **In simple terms:** Coming out happens slowly, like a spreading stain. Key Takeaway Accept the gradual nature of personal revelations. Themes identity self‑acceptance social change Mood thoughtful empathetic Type personal inspirational When to use this quote - personal counseling - support groups - public speaking - media interviews Key Concepts personal narrative LGBTQ+ experiences gradual self‑disclosure Questions to Reflect On - What does a gradual coming out look like for you? - How can allies support a non‑linear process? A Different Perspective Some may feel pressure to accelerate their disclosure due to societal expectations. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Experience](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/experience/) [Homosexuality](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/homosexuality/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [World](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/world/) [Young people](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/young-people/) ## Related quotes > [Whom can I ask what I came to make happen in this world?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pablo-neruda/whom-can-i-ask-what-i-came-to-make-happen-in-this-world/) [Pablo Neruda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pablo-neruda/) > [“How was your day, Rosie?” Dad would ask when he came home from work and I’d tell him it was ebullient. Or limpid. Or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-joy-fowler/how-was-your-day-rosie-dad-would-ask-when-he-came-home-from-work-and/) [Karen Joy Fowler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-joy-fowler/) > [Whom can I ask what I came to make happen in the world?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pablo-neruda/whom-can-i-ask-what-i-came-to-make-happen-in-the-world/) [Pablo Neruda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pablo-neruda/) > [Whom can I ask what I came to make happen in this world? Why do I move without wanting to, why am I not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pablo-neruda/whom-can-i-ask-what-i-came-to-make-happen-in-this-world-why-do-i-move/) [Pablo Neruda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pablo-neruda/) > [People still ask my husband and me which of us is the mom - which, as one lesbian friend pointed out to me, is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/people-still-ask-my-husband-and-me-which-of-us-is-the-mom-which-as/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [When I was born, the wisdom was that homosexuality was an illness; that it was caused largely by somebody's mother, and a distorted relationship…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/when-i-was-born-the-wisdom-was-that-homosexuality-was-an-illness-that/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [Being gay is immutable. Maybe someday we'll figure out more of the science and it will be changeable, but we have no leads so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/being-gay-is-immutable-maybe-someday-we-ll-figure-out-more-of-the/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [Never awake me when you have good news to announce, because with good news nothing presses; but when you have bad news, arouse me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/napoleon-bonaparte/never-awake-me-when-you-have-good-news-to-announce-because-with-good/) [Napoleon Bonaparte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/napoleon-bonaparte/) > [No one expects the rug to be yanked out from underneath them; life-changing events usually dont announce themselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/slash/no-one-expects-the-rug-to-be-yanked-out-from-underneath-them-life/) [Slash](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/slash/) > [Every time I do something or release something or announce a new project, there's always that fear that it won't go well.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/grace-vanderwaal/every-time-i-do-something-or-release-something-or-announce-a-new/) [Grace VanderWaal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/grace-vanderwaal/) > [It's one thing getting the job of Doctor Who, which is wonderful. And then the next thing they say to you is, 'We're going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-capaldi/it-s-one-thing-getting-the-job-of-doctor-who-which-is-wonderful-and/) [Peter Capaldi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-capaldi/) > [I was the first candidate to announce my run on Instagram. So that was kind of cool.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elise-stefanik/i-was-the-first-candidate-to-announce-my-run-on-instagram-so-that-was/) [Elise Stefanik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elise-stefanik/) > [“We expect Evil to announce itself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-marie-moning/we-expect-evil-to-announce-itself/) [Karen Marie Moning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-marie-moning/) > [Do not be afraid to go forth and announce the Risen Christ,](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pope-francis/do-not-be-afraid-to-go-forth-and-announce-the-risen-christ/) [Pope Francis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pope-francis/) > [President Obama has never summarized the Obama Doctrine with such clarity, but here is what it would look like: 'I will undertake any military…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elliott-abrams/president-obama-has-never-summarized-the-obama-doctrine-with-such/) [Elliott Abrams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elliott-abrams/) ## More by Andrew Solomon > [“If you banish the dragons, you banish the heroes...”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/if-you-banish-the-dragons-you-banish-the-heroes/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [I started traveling out of curiosity, but I have come to believe in travel's political importance, that encouraging a nation's citizenry to travel may…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/i-started-traveling-out-of-curiosity-but-i-have-come-to-believe-in/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [When I was born, the wisdom was that homosexuality was an illness; that it was caused largely by somebody's mother, and a distorted relationship…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/when-i-was-born-the-wisdom-was-that-homosexuality-was-an-illness-that/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [A lot of people are very political when they are young, and then they outgrow it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/a-lot-of-people-are-very-political-when-they-are-young-and-then-they/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [Having always imagined myself in a fairly slim minority, I suddenly saw that I was in a vast company. Difference unites us. While each…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/having-always-imagined-myself-in-a-fairly-slim-minority-i-suddenly/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [If your love didn't always contain the possibility of loss, it would be very different from human love as we know it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/if-your-love-didn-t-always-contain-the-possibility-of-loss-it-would/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [Antonin Artaud wrote on one of his drawings, "Never real and always true," and that is how depression feels. You know that it is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/antonin-artaud-wrote-on-one-of-his-drawings-never-real-and-always/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [I met people on college campuses who were defining themselves as genderqueer to express revolutionary feelings, or to communicate their individuality; they were gender…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/i-met-people-on-college-campuses-who-were-defining-themselves-as/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [“In the throws of depression, one reaches a strange point at which it is impossible to see the line between ones own theatricality and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/in-the-throws-of-depression-one-reaches-a-strange-point-at-which-it/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [“Since I am writing a book about depression, I am often asked in social situations to describe my own experiences, and I usually end…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/since-i-am-writing-a-book-about-depression-i-am-often-asked-in-social/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [Loving our own children is an exercise for the imagination.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/loving-our-own-children-is-an-exercise-for-the-imagination/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [One the one hand, the simple fact that there are children and that I do have an effect on them has been one of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/one-the-one-hand-the-simple-fact-that-there-are-children-and-that-i/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [I grew up feeling that to be gay was a tragedy. I didn't grow up thinking that it was morally wrong, but I grew…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/i-grew-up-feeling-that-to-be-gay-was-a-tragedy-i-didn-t-grow-up/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [We need to acknowledge that families come in multiple shapes and sizes, that love is not a finite asset, and that caregiving involves more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/we-need-to-acknowledge-that-families-come-in-multiple-shapes-and/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [I had always wanted to have children, so it caused me a lot of grief when I was younger, and I had supposed that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/i-had-always-wanted-to-have-children-so-it-caused-me-a-lot-of-grief/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) [Explore all 282 Andrew Solomon quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) ## More Announce quotes > [President Obama has never summarized the Obama Doctrine with such clarity, but here is what it would look like: 'I will undertake any military…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elliott-abrams/president-obama-has-never-summarized-the-obama-doctrine-with-such/) [Elliott Abrams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elliott-abrams/) > [Do not be afraid to go forth and announce the Risen Christ,](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pope-francis/do-not-be-afraid-to-go-forth-and-announce-the-risen-christ/) [Pope Francis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pope-francis/) > [“We expect Evil to announce itself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-marie-moning/we-expect-evil-to-announce-itself/) [Karen Marie Moning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-marie-moning/) > [I was the first candidate to announce my run on Instagram. So that was kind of cool.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elise-stefanik/i-was-the-first-candidate-to-announce-my-run-on-instagram-so-that-was/) [Elise Stefanik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elise-stefanik/) > [It's one thing getting the job of Doctor Who, which is wonderful. And then the next thing they say to you is, 'We're going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-capaldi/it-s-one-thing-getting-the-job-of-doctor-who-which-is-wonderful-and/) [Peter Capaldi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-capaldi/) > [Every time I do something or release something or announce a new project, there's always that fear that it won't go well.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/grace-vanderwaal/every-time-i-do-something-or-release-something-or-announce-a-new/) [Grace VanderWaal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/grace-vanderwaal/) > [No one expects the rug to be yanked out from underneath them; life-changing events usually dont announce themselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/slash/no-one-expects-the-rug-to-be-yanked-out-from-underneath-them-life/) [Slash](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/slash/) > [Never awake me when you have good news to announce, because with good news nothing presses; but when you have bad news, arouse me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/napoleon-bonaparte/never-awake-me-when-you-have-good-news-to-announce-because-with-good/) [Napoleon Bonaparte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/napoleon-bonaparte/) > [I don't have to announce all the women I've slept with.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-gest/i-don-t-have-to-announce-all-the-women-i-ve-slept-with/) [David Gest](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-gest/) > [If you simply announce that things are irrational, then that alone doesn't get you very far. You have to replace rational agents with some…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lars-peter-hansen/if-you-simply-announce-that-things-are-irrational-then-that-alone/) [Lars Peter Hansen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lars-peter-hansen/) > [I'm interested in the way major events don't necessarily announce themselves as major events. They're often little things - the drip, drip of life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noah-baumbach/i-m-interested-in-the-way-major-events-don-t-necessarily-announce/) [Noah Baumbach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noah-baumbach/) > [If I were in a position to announce a public competition to coin a new word, I would do so right now.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esa-pekka-salonen/if-i-were-in-a-position-to-announce-a-public-competition-to-coin-a/) [Esa-Pekka Salonen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esa-pekka-salonen/) > [Let me announce, with all the strength at my command, that I am not a terrorist and I never was, expect perhaps in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bhagat-singh/let-me-announce-with-all-the-strength-at-my-command-that-i-am-not-a/) [Bhagat Singh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bhagat-singh/) > [You are free to announce and declare Who You Are in every moment of Now. Indeed, you are doing so, without even knowing it.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-are-free-to-announce-and-declare-who-you-are-in-every-moment-of/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I kind of hate the fact that I feel like people expect you to announce what you are, and then you become it. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/contrapoints/i-kind-of-hate-the-fact-that-i-feel-like-people-expect-you-to/) ContraPoints Browse all 65 Announce quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Nowadays, people often ask me when I came out, generalising from the experience of many young people who announce themselves to the world on a particular afternoon. But I did not divorce my reticence in a single sharp break. 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