--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I got into my first serious relationship…" description: "\"I got into my first serious relationship with a man when I was twenty-three. I had, before that, sort of a typical, sad history of relatively promiscuo..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d8/andrew-solomon-1140_encounters_i-got-into-my-first-serious-relationship_1935748.jpg" --- # I got into my first serious relationship with a man when I… ![“I got into my first serious relationship with a man when I was twenty-three. I had, before that, sort of a typical, sad history of relatively promiscuous sexual encounters with men I didn't know, because I felt that if I were involved with people I did know, other people would know that I was gay…” quote by Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d8/andrew-solomon-1140_encounters_i-got-into-my-first-serious-relationship_1935748.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d8/andrew-solomon-1140_encounters_i-got-into-my-first-serious-relationship_1935748.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d8/andrew-solomon-1140_encounters_i-got-into-my-first-serious-relationship_1935748.jpg) > “I got into my first serious relationship with a man when I was twenty-three. I had, before that, sort of a typical, sad history of relatively promiscuous sexual encounters with men I didn't know, because I felt that if I were involved with people I did know, other people would know that I was gay, and it was something that I needed to keep so secret.” [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. He entered a serious relationship at twenty‑three after a period of casual, secretive encounters due to fear of being outed. **In simple terms:** He moved from secretive dating to a committed relationship. Key Takeaway Embrace honesty in relationships. Themes identity relationships coming out Mood reflective empathetic Type personal cautionary When to use this quote - dating - personal growth - Lcoming - support groups Key Concepts psychology sexuality social stigma Questions to Reflect On - How does secrecy impact self‑esteem? - What steps help build trust in new relationships? A Different Perspective Fear of disclosure can still hinder openness. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Encounters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/encounters/) [Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/gay/) [History](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/history/) [Homosexuality](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/homosexuality/) [Men](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/men/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Secret](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/secret/) [Serious relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/serious-relationship/) [Twenties](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/twenties/) ## Related quotes > [“It was clear from talking to them, that what kept them motivated was the quality of the experience they felt when they were involved…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-kotler/it-was-clear-from-talking-to-them-that-what-kept-them-motivated-was/) [Steven Kotler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-kotler/) > [“It felt to me as if we were all involved in some kind of twisted, South-of-the-Border, Darwinian, "Survival of The Fittest" experiment. And I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jos-n-harris/it-felt-to-me-as-if-we-were-all-involved-in-some-kind-of-twisted/) [José N. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jos-n-harris/) > [“You assume that my previous sexual encounters were completely fulfilling, but you’re wrong. You gave me what I’ve never had—love and sex together. 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What…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/glen-rambharack/if-woman-take-charge-of-a-relationship-then-they-become-the-man-who/) [Glen Rambharack](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/glen-rambharack/) > [I am not afraid to say my relationship with my man is important, even vital, to who I am as a person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mika-brzezinski/i-am-not-afraid-to-say-my-relationship-with-my-man-is-important-even/) [Mika Brzezinski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mika-brzezinski/) ## More by Andrew Solomon > [“If you banish the dragons, you banish the heroes...”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/if-you-banish-the-dragons-you-banish-the-heroes/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [I started traveling out of curiosity, but I have come to believe in travel's political importance, that encouraging a nation's citizenry to travel may…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/i-started-traveling-out-of-curiosity-but-i-have-come-to-believe-in/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [When I was born, the wisdom was that homosexuality was an illness; that it was caused largely by somebody's mother, and a distorted relationship…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/when-i-was-born-the-wisdom-was-that-homosexuality-was-an-illness-that/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [A lot of people are very political when they are young, and then they outgrow it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/a-lot-of-people-are-very-political-when-they-are-young-and-then-they/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [Having always imagined myself in a fairly slim minority, I suddenly saw that I was in a vast company. 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I didn't grow up thinking that it was morally wrong, but I grew…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/i-grew-up-feeling-that-to-be-gay-was-a-tragedy-i-didn-t-grow-up/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [We need to acknowledge that families come in multiple shapes and sizes, that love is not a finite asset, and that caregiving involves more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/we-need-to-acknowledge-that-families-come-in-multiple-shapes-and/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [I had always wanted to have children, so it caused me a lot of grief when I was younger, and I had supposed that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/i-had-always-wanted-to-have-children-so-it-caused-me-a-lot-of-grief/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) [Explore all 282 Andrew Solomon quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) ## More Encounters quotes > [The writings of latter-day prophets clearly teach that the sorrows and sufferings endured by Adam and Eve upon their leaving the Garden of Eden…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-k-judd/the-writings-of-latter-day-prophets-clearly-teach-that-the-sorrows/) Daniel K Judd > [Gun control laws don't work. 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