--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I watch him sleep because the tenderness…" description: "\"“I watch him sleep because the tenderness I have for him is what I have left of everything I started with. My brother was like him, frail blond curls f..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab8/andrea-dworkin-1998_tenderness_i-watch-him-sleep-because-the-tenderness_2889990.png" --- # I watch him sleep because the tenderness I have for him is… ![“I watch him sleep because the tenderness I have for him is what I have left of everything I started with. My brother was like him, frail blond curls framing a guileless face, he slept the same way, back where I started. A tenderness remembered tangentially, revived when I see this pale…” quote by Andrea Dworkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab8/andrea-dworkin-1998_tenderness_i-watch-him-sleep-because-the-tenderness_2889990.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab8/andrea-dworkin-1998_tenderness_i-watch-him-sleep-because-the-tenderness_2889990.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab8/andrea-dworkin-1998_tenderness_i-watch-him-sleep-because-the-tenderness_2889990.png) > ““I watch him sleep because the tenderness I have for him is what I have left of everything I started with. My brother was like him, frail blond curls framing a guileless face, he slept the same way, back where I started. A tenderness remembered tangentially, revived when I see this pale, yellow-haired man asleep, at rest, defenseless, incomprehensibly trusting death not to come. We are innocence together, before life set in. Sometimes I feel the tenderness for this man now, the real one asleep, not the memory of the baby brother - sometimes I feel the tenderness so acutely - it balances on just a sliver of memory - I feel it so acutely, it is so much closer to pain than to pleasure or any other thing, for instance, in one second when each knows what the other will say or without a thought our fingers just barely touch, I remember then in a sharp sliver of penetration my baby brother, pale, yellow-haired, curls framing a sleeping face while I lay awake during the long nights, one after the other, while mother lay dying. It is consumingly physical, not to sleep, to be awake, watching a blond boy sleeping and waiting for your mother to die.”” [Andrea Dworkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrea-dworkin/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The narrator reflects on deep, lingering tenderness for a lost sibling, linking past innocence with present grief and the fragile trust in death. **In simple terms:** Intense grief and lingering love for a dead brother. Key Takeaway Acknowledge grief and cherish memories. Themes grief family memory vulnerability love Mood somber reflective Type emotional literary When to use this quote - memorial services - family gatherings - personal reflection - therapy sessions Key Concepts attachment mortality nostalgia psychological trauma Questions to Reflect On - How does remembering a loved one shape your present? - Can grief be transformed into growth? A Different Perspective May intensify sorrow or hinder healing. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Long Night](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/long-night/) [Tenderness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tenderness/) ## Related quotes > [She regretted having taken his hand, she wanted to get away from there as soon as possible, to hide her shame, never again to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/she-regretted-having-taken-his-hand-she-wanted-to-get-away-from-there/) [Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/) > [Remember those black-and-white films with Frank Sinatra? Those guys looked like men and they were only 27! Listen to Otis Redding singing 'Try A…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chrissie-hynde/remember-those-black-and-white-films-with-frank-sinatra-those-guys/) [Chrissie Hynde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chrissie-hynde/) > [“she was as unused to seeing tenderness in a man's eyes as she was to being caught off guard. Admiration? Amusement? Yes. Even desire.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/connie-brockway/she-was-as-unused-to-seeing-tenderness-in-a-man-s-eyes-as-she-was-to/) [Connie Brockway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/connie-brockway/) > [“I came to feel a tenderness for them all. This was something new to me. It gave me a curious pleasure to touch them,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendell-berry/i-came-to-feel-a-tenderness-for-them-all-this-was-something-new-to-me/) [Wendell Berry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendell-berry/) > [“Last night, there was a moment before you got into bed. You stood, quite naked, bending forward a little - talking. It was only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katherine-mansfield/last-night-there-was-a-moment-before-you-got-into-bed-you-stood-quite/) [Katherine Mansfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katherine-mansfield/) > [“I write, and I feel how the correct and precise use of words is sometimes like a remedy to an illness. Like a contraption…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-grossman/i-write-and-i-feel-how-the-correct-and-precise-use-of-words-is/) [David Grossman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-grossman/) > [Everything that I feel about her is all Tenderness & Passion, and there's not a day that goes by that I won't stop thinking…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rafael-vazquez-jr/everything-that-i-feel-about-her-is-all-tenderness-passion-and-there/) [Rafael Vazquez Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rafael-vazquez-jr/) > [Without tenderness, a man is uninteresting.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marlene-dietrich/without-tenderness-a-man-is-uninteresting/) [Marlene Dietrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marlene-dietrich/) > [My brother and I do have a feel for each other, and especially in college we each just knew what the other was going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shaquill-griffin/my-brother-and-i-do-have-a-feel-for-each-other-and-especially-in/) [Shaquill Griffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shaquill-griffin/) > [I know something of the good of Moammar Gadhafi that made me to love him as a brother and to feel a great sense…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-farrakhan/i-know-something-of-the-good-of-moammar-gadhafi-that-made-me-to-love/) [Louis Farrakhan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-farrakhan/) > [I've been in scenes with my brother where I've been absolutely emotionally terrified to go somewhere. But because he's my brother, I feel safe.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dean-winters/i-ve-been-in-scenes-with-my-brother-where-i-ve-been-absolutely/) [Dean Winters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dean-winters/) > [“Dear brother, I feel what Pa and Ma instinctively think about me (I don’t say reasonably). There’s a similar reluctance about taking me into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vincent-van-gogh/dear-brother-i-feel-what-pa-and-ma-instinctively-think-about-me-i-don/) [Vincent van Gogh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vincent-van-gogh/) > [“There’s the wind on the heath, brother; if I could only feel that, I would gladly live for ever.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-borrow/there-s-the-wind-on-the-heath-brother-if-i-could-only-feel-that-i/) George Borrow > [But if there has been on this earth no real, perfect human life, no love that never cooled, no faith that never failed, which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-william-robertson/but-if-there-has-been-on-this-earth-no-real-perfect-human-life-no/) [Frederick William Robertson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-william-robertson/) > [Rahul's my elder brother and I feel good to have someone in the industry who has helped me out.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mukul-dev/rahul-s-my-elder-brother-and-i-feel-good-to-have-someone-in-the/) [Mukul Dev](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mukul-dev/) ## More by Andrea Dworkin > [Heterosexual intercourse is the pure, formalized expression of contempt for women's bodies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrea-dworkin/heterosexual-intercourse-is-the-pure-formalized-expression-of/) [Andrea Dworkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrea-dworkin/) > [There is no place on earth, no day or night, no hour or minute, when one is not a Jew or a woman.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrea-dworkin/there-is-no-place-on-earth-no-day-or-night-no-hour-or-minute-when-one/) [Andrea Dworkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrea-dworkin/) > [Men are rewarded for learning the practice of violence in virtually any sphere of activity by money, admiration, recognition, respect, and the genuflection of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrea-dworkin/men-are-rewarded-for-learning-the-practice-of-violence-in-virtually/) [Andrea Dworkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrea-dworkin/) > [“Inferiority is not banal or incidental even when it happens to women. 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There are never enough warm bodies to satiate its monstrous hunger. Once alive, this beast grows…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrea-dworkin/the-will-to-domination-is-a-ravenous-beast-there-are-never-enough/) [Andrea Dworkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrea-dworkin/) > [Feminism exists so that no woman ever has to face her abuser in isolation, alone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrea-dworkin/feminism-exists-so-that-no-woman-ever-has-to-face-her-abuser-in/) [Andrea Dworkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrea-dworkin/) > [“people ask, well, dont sweet things happen? yes, indeed, many sweet things, but sweet doesnt keep you from dying, making love doesnt keep you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrea-dworkin/people-ask-well-dont-sweet-things-happen-yes-indeed-many-sweet-things/) [Andrea Dworkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrea-dworkin/) > [Feminism is a political practice of fighting male supremacy on behalf of women as a class, including all the women you don't like, including…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrea-dworkin/feminism-is-a-political-practice-of-fighting-male-supremacy-on-behalf/) [Andrea Dworkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrea-dworkin/) > [As long as there is rape... there is not going to be any peace or justice or equality or freedom. You are not going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrea-dworkin/as-long-as-there-is-rape-there-is-not-going-to-be-any-peace-or/) [Andrea Dworkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrea-dworkin/) > [Pornography reveals that male pleasure is inextricably tied to victimizing, hurting, exploiting; that sexual fun and sexual passion in the privacy of the male…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrea-dworkin/pornography-reveals-that-male-pleasure-is-inextricably-tied-to/) [Andrea Dworkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrea-dworkin/) > [The man takes a body that is not his, claims it, sows his so-called seed, reaps a harvest - he colonizes a female body,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrea-dworkin/the-man-takes-a-body-that-is-not-his-claims-it-sows-his-so-called/) [Andrea Dworkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrea-dworkin/) > [We have a double standard, which is to say, a man can show how much he cares by being violent-see, he's jealous, he cares-a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrea-dworkin/we-have-a-double-standard-which-is-to-say-a-man-can-show-how-much-he/) [Andrea Dworkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrea-dworkin/) [Explore all 186 Andrea Dworkin quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrea-dworkin/) ## More Tenderness quotes > [He lacked tenderness; he was rude; and he had more than a streak of cruelty in him; he was a thief and a liar.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daphne-du-maurier/he-lacked-tenderness-he-was-rude-and-he-had-more-than-a-streak-of/) [Daphne du Maurier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daphne-du-maurier/) > [“Lord Thornbeck lifted her onto the saddle. He looked her in the eye, and her breath stilled in her chest. There was such an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melanie-dickerson/lord-thornbeck-lifted-her-onto-the-saddle-he-looked-her-in-the-eye/) [Melanie Dickerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melanie-dickerson/) > [The pleasures and the cares of the luckiest ambition, even of limitless power, are nothing next to the intimate happiness that tenderness and love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stendhal/the-pleasures-and-the-cares-of-the-luckiest-ambition-even-of/) [Stendhal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stendhal/) > [No one, it has been said, will ever look at the Moon in the same way again. 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Dance. Dress. Try a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rainbow-rowell/she-d-get-out-of-the-shower-the-next-morning-and-it-would-be-written/) [Rainbow Rowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rainbow-rowell/) > [We bear the sole, relentless tenderness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pablo-neruda/we-bear-the-sole-relentless-tenderness/) [Pablo Neruda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pablo-neruda/) > [“i want to stay curled and cosied and chocolated…forever in my mother’s arms.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sanober-khan/i-want-to-stay-curled-and-cosied-and-chocolated-forever-in-my-mother/) [Sanober Khan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sanober-khan/) > [I did not believe him capable of love. That is an emotion in which tenderness is an essential part, but Strickland had no tenderness…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-somerset-maugham/i-did-not-believe-him-capable-of-love-that-is-an-emotion-in-which/) [W. Somerset Maugham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-somerset-maugham/) > [Age, per se, may claim tenderness and pity, but not respect; that only comes when the years have brought humanity and wisdom and the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-deland/age-per-se-may-claim-tenderness-and-pity-but-not-respect-that-only/) [Margaret Deland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-deland/) [Browse all 830 Tenderness quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tenderness/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I watch him sleep because the tenderness I have for him is what I have left of everything I started with. My brother was like him, frail blond curls framing a guileless face, he slept the same way, back where I started. A tenderness remembered tangentially, revived when I see this pale, yellow-haired man asleep, at rest, defenseless, incomprehensibly trusting death not to come. 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