--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Why did I do it?\" I finally asked him…" description: "\"“Why did I do it?\" I finally asked him. \"Because you couldn't stand it, because you were choking, that's why. Perfectly understandable.\" No, it was not..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ed0/andre-aciman-459_choked_why-did-i-do-it-i-finally-asked-him-beca_2087067.jpg" --- # Why did I do it?" I finally asked him. "Because you… ![“Why did I do it?" I finally asked him. "Because you couldn't stand it, because you were choking, that's why. Perfectly understandable." No, it was not understandable. Choking was just a word, a metaphor, a nothing. I myself had found the world crawling under my pillow that very same night. It was…” quote by André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ed0/andre-aciman-459_choked_why-did-i-do-it-i-finally-asked-him-beca_2087067.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ed0/andre-aciman-459_choked_why-did-i-do-it-i-finally-asked-him-beca_2087067.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ed0/andre-aciman-459_choked_why-did-i-do-it-i-finally-asked-him-beca_2087067.jpg) > ““Why did I do it?" I finally asked him. "Because you couldn't stand it, because you were choking, that's why. Perfectly understandable." No, it was not understandable. Choking was just a word, a metaphor, a nothing. I myself had found the world crawling under my pillow that very same night. It was not an answer, not an explanation, yet it seemed the only one at hand, and the only word that said everything despite my mistrust of words. Why had I left her? Because I was living someone else's life, not mine. Because I wanted my life back, even if I didn't know what my life was or what I even wanted it to be. Because I wanted to be alone, or not with her, or with someone else, or, better yet, with no one at all. Because I wanted to find something of me in others only to realize that others were never going to be like me and ultimately had to be unclasped. thrown out, exploded, because estrangement is branded on the soul, because love itself was foreign to me, and in its place sat resentment and bile. Why had I even started with her? To be with someone instead of no one? To be like him? Or was I already, had always been like him, but in so different a guise that it was just as easy to think us poles apart? The Arab and the jew, the ill-tempered and the mild-mannered, the irascible and the forbearing, the this and the that! And yet, we came from the same mold, choked in the same way, and in the same way, lashed back, then ran away.”” [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A desperate search for identity leads to self‑destruction, alienation, and the realization that love feels foreign. **In simple terms:** The narrator struggles with identity and love, feeling alienated. Key Takeaway Seek self‑knowledge before seeking others. Themes identity love alienation despair Mood introspective melancholic Type literary psychological When to use this quote - relationship crises - self‑discovery - mental health - creative writing Key Concepts existentialism psychology metaphor Questions to Reflect On - What does “choking” symbolize for you? - Can alienation be transformed into growth? A Different Perspective May romanticize suffering. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Divorce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/divorce/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Metaphor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/metaphor/) ## Related quotes > [For me, 'choking' is just another term in golf.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-miller/for-me-choking-is-just-another-term-in-golf/) [Johnny Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-miller/) > [Has a mime ever choked to death because nobody believed they were choking?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jason-kennedy/has-a-mime-ever-choked-to-death-because-nobody-believed-they-were/) [Jason Kennedy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jason-kennedy/) > [“I don't think we choked this time. We never played well enough to choke.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-matthews/i-don-t-think-we-choked-this-time-we-never-played-well-enough-to-choke/) Craig Matthews > [“Two words from him, and I had seen my pouting apathy change into I’ll play anything for you till you ask me to stop,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/two-words-from-him-and-i-had-seen-my-pouting-apathy-change-into-i-ll/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [If you want to dry hump someone you don't know, just act like they were choking.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/if-you-want-to-dry-hump-someone-you-don-t-know-just-act-like-they/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [When your rage is choking you, it is best to say nothing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/when-your-rage-is-choking-you-it-is-best-to-say-nothing/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“If a man was choking, what would I do? Well, I’d remove my penis from his throat.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/if-a-man-was-choking-what-would-i-do-well-i-d-remove-my-penis-from/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [The truth is always hard to swallow if you're choking on your pride. Love the one you've got, and appreciate who you have, you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kemmy-nola/the-truth-is-always-hard-to-swallow-if-you-re-choking-on-your-pride/) [Kemmy Nola](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kemmy-nola/) > [CONGRATULATIONS! You've won a lifetime supply of air: Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/congratulations-you-ve-won-a-lifetime-supply-of-air-not-valid-under/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Today coming to work, I saw one of those only in New York scenes. It was a rat who had passed out after choking…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-letterman/today-coming-to-work-i-saw-one-of-those-only-in-new-york-scenes-it/) [David Letterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-letterman/) > [The truth is hard to swallow when you're choking on your pride.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-truth-is-hard-to-swallow-when-you-re-choking-on-your-pride/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I need to learn how to start saying no. Like when someone says ‘please stop choking me.’](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mayer/i-need-to-learn-how-to-start-saying-no-like-when-someone-says-please/) [John Mayer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mayer/) > [I sit on a man's back, choking him and making him carry me, and yet assure myself and others that I am very sorry…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leo-tolstoy/i-sit-on-a-man-s-back-choking-him-and-making-him-carry-me-and-yet/) [Leo Tolstoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leo-tolstoy/) > [“Nora-leggo it's choking me!! ow!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kazunari-kakei/nora-leggo-it-s-choking-me-ow/) Kazunari Kakei > [“Joe!” he groaned, attempting to speak clearly. “Joe! Good ol’ Joe!” “Captain, you’re drunk!” Lofflin said, stating the obvious while trying to keep his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christina-engela/joe-he-groaned-attempting-to-speak-clearly-joe-good-ol-joe-captain/) [Christina Engela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christina-engela/) ## More by André Aciman > [Don't all writers have a hidden nerve, call it a secret chamber, something irreducibly theirs, which stirs their prose and makes it tick and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/don-t-all-writers-have-a-hidden-nerve-call-it-a-secret-chamber/) [Andre Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“I wanted him to remember the morning on Monet's berm when I'd kissed him not the first but the second time and given him…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/i-wanted-him-to-remember-the-morning-on-monet-s-berm-when-i-d-kissed/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [Rituals are how we step into our private field of dreams, a small Elysium all our own. Rituals are made not just for us,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/rituals-are-how-we-step-into-our-private-field-of-dreams-a-small/) [Andre Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“I desperately wanted to give him something. By contrast, taking seemed so bland, so facile, so mechanical.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/i-desperately-wanted-to-give-him-something-by-contrast-taking-seemed/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“The man who'll lay the last stone here isn't even born yet.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/the-man-who-ll-lay-the-last-stone-here-isn-t-even-born-yet/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [Proust is interested in minutiae because life, as he sees it, is seldom ever about things but about our impression of things, not about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/proust-is-interested-in-minutiae-because-life-as-he-sees-it-is-seldom/) [Andre Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“Well, since you're not going to do anything with me—can you at least read me a story? I'd settle for that. I wanted him…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/well-since-you-re-not-going-to-do-anything-with-me-can-you-at-least/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“This is heaven.” And I wouldn’t hear him say another word for at least an hour. There was nothing I loved more in life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/this-is-heaven-and-i-wouldn-t-hear-him-say-another-word-for-at-least/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“He loved the sticky taste. What had I done? I told him and pointed to the bruised evidence sitting on my desk. “Let me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/he-loved-the-sticky-taste-what-had-i-done-i-told-him-and-pointed-to/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“When had they separated us, you and me, Oliver? And why did I know it, and why didn't you?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/when-had-they-separated-us-you-and-me-oliver-and-why-did-i-know-it/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“As we were swimming back, he asked as though it were an afterthought, “Are you going to hold last night against me?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/as-we-were-swimming-back-he-asked-as-though-it-were-an-afterthought/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“To be with you. To be with you, Oliver. With or without my bathing suit. To be with you on my bed. In your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/to-be-with-you-to-be-with-you-oliver-with-or-without-my-bathing-suit/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“I thought I could ever want another living soul, gently, softly, and, with the kindness one Jew extends to another, work his way into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/i-thought-i-could-ever-want-another-living-soul-gently-softly-and/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“Oliver: But there's the catch: you're still twenty years younger than those gathered around you, which is why I can be twenty-four in a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/oliver-but-there-s-the-catch-you-re-still-twenty-years-younger-than/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [I cannot write if there is a sense of plenitude. I have to hypothesize that there is a loss.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/i-cannot-write-if-there-is-a-sense-of-plenitude-i-have-to-hypothesize/) [Andre Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) [Explore all 527 André Aciman quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) ## More Choked quotes > [She was giving me oral sex, and she got carried away . . . So I choked her.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-shawcross/she-was-giving-me-oral-sex-and-she-got-carried-away-so-i-choked-her/) Arthur Shawcross > [As in 'The Three Billy Goats Gruff'?" The skull howled with laughter. "You just got your ass handed to you by a nursery tale?""I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-butcher/as-in-the-three-billy-goats-gruff-the-skull-howled-with-laughter-you/) [Jim Butcher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-butcher/) > [The worst moment was when I was performing and I was about to sing, but I choked. I had a tickle in my throat…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-brown/the-worst-moment-was-when-i-was-performing-and-i-was-about-to-sing/) [Chris Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-brown/) > [“ "What do you say, Miss Lyndon? Shall we have a go at it?" " 'Shall we have a go at it?' " Ellie…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julia-quinn/what-do-you-say-miss-lyndon-shall-we-have-a-go-at-it-shall-we-have-a/) [Julia Quinn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julia-quinn/) > [“I don't think we choked this time. We never played well enough to choke.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-matthews/i-don-t-think-we-choked-this-time-we-never-played-well-enough-to-choke/) Craig Matthews > [“Did ye not mention a game last week?” “Aye, but my duties have kept me away.” Alastair choked on his mead. “Ye have none.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-morgan/did-ye-not-mention-a-game-last-week-aye-but-my-duties-have-kept-me/) [Mary Morgan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-morgan/) > [“Shut up.” She put her finger to his lips, and his voice choked off. She said slowly, “I’ve learned I can live without you.”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennie-lucas/shut-up-she-put-her-finger-to-his-lips-and-his-voice-choked-off-she/) Jennie Lucas > [“He gestured at me. “That’s Belly.” “Belly?” she repeated. “Yup. She’s my girlfriend.” I think I choked out loud.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jenny-han/he-gestured-at-me-that-s-belly-belly-she-repeated-yup-she-s-my/) [Jenny Han](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jenny-han/) > [“Lucy was frightened, frightened near to death. Her voice choked, she could not breath, her limbs went numb. "This is not happening", she said…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-m-coetzee/lucy-was-frightened-frightened-near-to-death-her-voice-choked-she/) [J.M. Coetzee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-m-coetzee/) > [“I'll put my hand in no man's hand,' said Mr. Micawber, gasping, puffing, and sobbing, to that degree that he was like a man…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-dickens/i-ll-put-my-hand-in-no-man-s-hand-said-mr-micawber-gasping-puffing/) [Charles Dickens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-dickens/) > [My Girlfriend just said that I should stop acting like an year old. I almost choked on her boobs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikhil-saluja/my-girlfriend-just-said-that-i-should-stop-acting-like-an-year-old-i/) [Nikhil Saluja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikhil-saluja/) > [“So, of course Rose decided this would be a good time to discuss such matters. “I would also like to know if you know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathryn-smith/so-of-course-rose-decided-this-would-be-a-good-time-to-discuss-such/) [Kathryn Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathryn-smith/) > [“Do you believe in that world you spoke of, the one made for us?' She swallowed, nodding. Her soft lips were against his bare…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexandra-bracken/do-you-believe-in-that-world-you-spoke-of-the-one-made-for-us-she/) [Alexandra Bracken](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexandra-bracken/) > [“Paxton choked on the tears that were gushing uncontrollably down his face. “This feels... a lot like falling,” he let out through his gasps…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/megan-duke/paxton-choked-on-the-tears-that-were-gushing-uncontrollably-down-his/) [Megan Duke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/megan-duke/) > [“This isn't coffee," I accused immediately as the rich smell of chocolate met my nose, making me almost want to groan. Okay, I totally…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-gadziala/this-isn-t-coffee-i-accused-immediately-as-the-rich-smell-of/) [Jessica Gadziala](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-gadziala/) Browse all 193 Choked quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Why did I do it?\" I finally asked him. \"Because you couldn't stand it, because you were choking, that's why. Perfectly understandable.\" No, it was not understandable. Choking was just a word, a metaphor, a nothing. I myself had found the world crawling under my pillow that very same night. It was not an answer, not an explanation, yet it seemed the only one at hand, and the only word that said everything despite my mistrust of words. Why had I left her? Because I was living someone else's life, not mine. Because I wanted my life back, even if I didn't know what my life was or what I even wanted it to be. Because I wanted to be alone, or not with her, or with someone else, or, better yet, with no one at all. Because I wanted to find something of me in others only to realize that others were never going to be like me and ultimately had to be unclasped. thrown out, exploded, because estrangement is branded on the soul, because love itself was foreign to me, and in its place sat resentment and bile. Why had I even started with her? To be with someone instead of no one? To be like him? Or was I already, had always been like him, but in so different a guise that it was just as easy to think us poles apart? The Arab and the jew, the ill-tempered and the mild-mannered, the irascible and the forbearing, the this and the that! 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