--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: What I didn’t realize was that wanting to…" description: "\"“What I didn’t realize was that wanting to test desire is nothing more than a ruse to get what we want without admitting that we want it.”\" — André Aciman" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0aa/andre-aciman-459_desire_what-i-didn-t-realize-was-that-wanting-t_1085013.png" --- # What I didn’t realize was that wanting to test desire is… ![“What I didn’t realize was that wanting to test desire is nothing more than a ruse to get what we want without admitting that we want it.” quote by André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0aa/andre-aciman-459_desire_what-i-didn-t-realize-was-that-wanting-t_1085013.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0aa/andre-aciman-459_desire_what-i-didn-t-realize-was-that-wanting-t_1085013.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0aa/andre-aciman-459_desire_what-i-didn-t-realize-was-that-wanting-t_1085013.png) > ““What I didn’t realize was that wanting to test desire is nothing more than a ruse to get what we want without admitting that we want it.”” [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Testing desire is a covert tactic to obtain what we want without admitting our true wishes. **In simple terms:** Testing desire hides true wants. Key Takeaway Acknowledge and express real desires. Themes desire self‑deception truth psychology Mood introspective thoughtful Type philosophical psychological When to use this quote - relationships - career goals - creative projects Key Concepts Self‑awareness authenticity motivation Questions to Reflect On - What desires are you masking? - How can honest expression improve outcomes? A Different Perspective Self‑deception can protect ego but hinder growth. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Admitting Want](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/admitting-want-2774310/) [Desire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/desire/) [Desire Ruse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/desire-ruse-2143435/) [Realize Wanting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/realize-wanting-2774309/) [Ruse Want](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ruse-want-2143436/) [Test Desire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/test-desire-2143434/) ## Related quotes > [“All I really wanted was one night with him, just one night—one hour, even—if only to determine whether I wanted him for another night…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/all-i-really-wanted-was-one-night-with-him-just-one-night-one-hour/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“Wanting to test desire is nothing more than a ruse to get what we want without admitting that we want it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/wanting-to-test-desire-is-nothing-more-than-a-ruse-to-get-what-we/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“Admitting what you want most will leave you vulnerable and exposed. This can be scary until you realize you are also wide-open for incredible…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-kaiser/admitting-what-you-want-most-will-leave-you-vulnerable-and-exposed/) [Shannon Kaiser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-kaiser/) > [I want you and I hate wanting things and I especially hate admitting I want them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/holly-black/i-want-you-and-i-hate-wanting-things-and-i-especially-hate-admitting/) [Holly Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/holly-black/) > [“Well, since you're not going to do anything with me—can you at least read me a story? I'd settle for that. I wanted him…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/well-since-you-re-not-going-to-do-anything-with-me-can-you-at-least/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [ Teaching might even be the greatest of the arts since the medium is the human mind and spirit. My three \[great teachers\] did not… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-steinbeck/teaching-might-even-be-the-greatest-of-the-arts-since-the-medium-is/) [John Steinbeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-steinbeck/) > [He caught her, she fell, he caught her in his arms, he held her tightly unconscious of what he was doing. He held her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/victor-hugo/he-caught-her-she-fell-he-caught-her-in-his-arms-he-held-her-tightly/) [Victor Hugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/victor-hugo/) > [If there is any period one would desire to be born in, is it not the age of Revolution; when the old and the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-waldo-emerson/if-there-is-any-period-one-would-desire-to-be-born-in-is-it-not-the/) [Ralph Waldo Emerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-waldo-emerson/) > [On the brink of being satiated, desire still appears infinite.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-rostand/on-the-brink-of-being-satiated-desire-still-appears-infinite/) [Jean Rostand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-rostand/) > [“THE ESSENCE OF YOUR DESIRE IS A FEELING”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/danielle-laporte/the-essence-of-your-desire-is-a-feeling/) [Danielle LaPorte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/danielle-laporte/) > [I have observed this in my experience of slavery, - that whenever my condition was improved, instead of its increasing my contentment, it only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-douglass/i-have-observed-this-in-my-experience-of-slavery-that-whenever-my/) [Frederick Douglass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-douglass/) > [Ye youths and virgins, when your generous blood Has drunk the warmth of fifteen summers, now The loves invite; now to new rapture wakes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-armstrong/ye-youths-and-virgins-when-your-generous-blood-has-drunk-the-warmth/) [John Armstrong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-armstrong/) > [I want the municipality to be a helping hand to the man with a desire of sympathy, to help the fallen when it is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-burns/i-want-the-municipality-to-be-a-helping-hand-to-the-man-with-a-desire/) [John Burns](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-burns/) > [Passion is what you need to be good, an unforgiving passion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-easton/passion-is-what-you-need-to-be-good-an-unforgiving-passion/) [David Easton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-easton/) > [I put myself in the student's place and remember the frustrations, doubts, determination, and desires I felt when I was going through the initial…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-martinez/i-put-myself-in-the-student-s-place-and-remember-the-frustrations/) [Ted Martinez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-martinez/) ## More by André Aciman > [Don't all writers have a hidden nerve, call it a secret chamber, something irreducibly theirs, which stirs their prose and makes it tick and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/don-t-all-writers-have-a-hidden-nerve-call-it-a-secret-chamber/) [Andre Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“I wanted him to remember the morning on Monet's berm when I'd kissed him not the first but the second time and given him…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/i-wanted-him-to-remember-the-morning-on-monet-s-berm-when-i-d-kissed/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [Rituals are how we step into our private field of dreams, a small Elysium all our own. Rituals are made not just for us,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/rituals-are-how-we-step-into-our-private-field-of-dreams-a-small/) [Andre Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“I desperately wanted to give him something. By contrast, taking seemed so bland, so facile, so mechanical.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/i-desperately-wanted-to-give-him-something-by-contrast-taking-seemed/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“The man who'll lay the last stone here isn't even born yet.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/the-man-who-ll-lay-the-last-stone-here-isn-t-even-born-yet/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [Proust is interested in minutiae because life, as he sees it, is seldom ever about things but about our impression of things, not about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/proust-is-interested-in-minutiae-because-life-as-he-sees-it-is-seldom/) [Andre Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“Well, since you're not going to do anything with me—can you at least read me a story? I'd settle for that. I wanted him…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/well-since-you-re-not-going-to-do-anything-with-me-can-you-at-least/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“This is heaven.” And I wouldn’t hear him say another word for at least an hour. There was nothing I loved more in life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/this-is-heaven-and-i-wouldn-t-hear-him-say-another-word-for-at-least/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“He loved the sticky taste. What had I done? I told him and pointed to the bruised evidence sitting on my desk. “Let me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/he-loved-the-sticky-taste-what-had-i-done-i-told-him-and-pointed-to/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“When had they separated us, you and me, Oliver? And why did I know it, and why didn't you?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/when-had-they-separated-us-you-and-me-oliver-and-why-did-i-know-it/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“As we were swimming back, he asked as though it were an afterthought, “Are you going to hold last night against me?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/as-we-were-swimming-back-he-asked-as-though-it-were-an-afterthought/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“To be with you. To be with you, Oliver. With or without my bathing suit. To be with you on my bed. In your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/to-be-with-you-to-be-with-you-oliver-with-or-without-my-bathing-suit/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“I thought I could ever want another living soul, gently, softly, and, with the kindness one Jew extends to another, work his way into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/i-thought-i-could-ever-want-another-living-soul-gently-softly-and/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“Oliver: But there's the catch: you're still twenty years younger than those gathered around you, which is why I can be twenty-four in a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/oliver-but-there-s-the-catch-you-re-still-twenty-years-younger-than/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [I cannot write if there is a sense of plenitude. I have to hypothesize that there is a loss.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/i-cannot-write-if-there-is-a-sense-of-plenitude-i-have-to-hypothesize/) [Andre Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) [Explore all 527 André Aciman quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) ## More Desire quotes > [I put myself in the student's place and remember the frustrations, doubts, determination, and desires I felt when I was going through the initial…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-martinez/i-put-myself-in-the-student-s-place-and-remember-the-frustrations/) [Ted Martinez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-martinez/) > [Passion is what you need to be good, an unforgiving passion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-easton/passion-is-what-you-need-to-be-good-an-unforgiving-passion/) [David Easton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-easton/) > [I want the municipality to be a helping hand to the man with a desire of sympathy, to help the fallen when it is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-burns/i-want-the-municipality-to-be-a-helping-hand-to-the-man-with-a-desire/) [John Burns](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-burns/) > [Ye youths and virgins, when your generous blood Has drunk the warmth of fifteen summers, now The loves invite; now to new rapture wakes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-armstrong/ye-youths-and-virgins-when-your-generous-blood-has-drunk-the-warmth/) [John Armstrong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-armstrong/) > [I have observed this in my experience of slavery, - that whenever my condition was improved, instead of its increasing my contentment, it only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-douglass/i-have-observed-this-in-my-experience-of-slavery-that-whenever-my/) [Frederick Douglass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-douglass/) > [“THE ESSENCE OF YOUR DESIRE IS A FEELING”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/danielle-laporte/the-essence-of-your-desire-is-a-feeling/) [Danielle LaPorte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/danielle-laporte/) > [On the brink of being satiated, desire still appears infinite.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-rostand/on-the-brink-of-being-satiated-desire-still-appears-infinite/) [Jean Rostand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-rostand/) > [If there is any period one would desire to be born in, is it not the age of Revolution; when the old and the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-waldo-emerson/if-there-is-any-period-one-would-desire-to-be-born-in-is-it-not-the/) [Ralph Waldo Emerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-waldo-emerson/) > [He caught her, she fell, he caught her in his arms, he held her tightly unconscious of what he was doing. He held her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/victor-hugo/he-caught-her-she-fell-he-caught-her-in-his-arms-he-held-her-tightly/) [Victor Hugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/victor-hugo/) > [ Teaching might even be the greatest of the arts since the medium is the human mind and spirit. My three \[great teachers\] did not… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-steinbeck/teaching-might-even-be-the-greatest-of-the-arts-since-the-medium-is/) [John Steinbeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-steinbeck/) > [“The deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dewey/the-deepest-urge-in-human-nature-is-the-desire-to-be-important/) [John Dewey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dewey/) > [In discovering books, you became free to explore the full range of human motives, desires, secrets, and lies. All my life, people have scolded…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betsy-lerner/in-discovering-books-you-became-free-to-explore-the-full-range-of/) [Betsy Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betsy-lerner/) > [I have never been in, nor have I had any strong particular desire to be in, what is termed a costume drama, but I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-freeman/i-have-never-been-in-nor-have-i-had-any-strong-particular-desire-to/) [Martin Freeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-freeman/) > [Now I am in the place I call this wide wide Heaven because it includes all my simplest desires but also the most humble…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/now-i-am-in-the-place-i-call-this-wide-wide-heaven-because-it/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [“from THE DEVIL YOU KNOW : She wanted him too. He could see it in the rapid rise of her breasts. He could smell…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emery-lee/from-the-devil-you-know-she-wanted-him-too-he-could-see-it-in-the/) [Emery Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emery-lee/) [Browse all 15,155 Desire quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/desire/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“What I didn’t realize was that wanting to test desire is nothing more than a ruse to get what we want without admitting that we want it.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "André Aciman" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/what-i-didn-t-realize-was-that-wanting-to-test-desire-is-nothing-more/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Desire" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/what-i-didn-t-realize-was-that-wanting-to-test-desire-is-nothing-more/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0aa/andre-aciman-459_desire_what-i-didn-t-realize-was-that-wanting-t_1085013.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0aa/andre-aciman-459_desire_what-i-didn-t-realize-was-that-wanting-t_1085013.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0aa/andre-aciman-459_desire_what-i-didn-t-realize-was-that-wanting-t_1085013.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“What I didn’t realize was that wanting to test desire is nothing more than a ruse to get what we want…” — André Aciman", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "André Aciman", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“What I didn’t realize was that...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/what-i-didn-t-realize-was-that-wanting-to-test-desire-is-nothing-more/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/what-i-didn-t-realize-was-that-wanting-to-test-desire-is-nothing-more/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```