--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It was not him I hated—but the thing we’d…" description: "\"“It was not him I hated—but the thing we’d done. I didn’t want him looking into my heart just yet. Instead, I wanted to remove myself from this bog of ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/396/andre-aciman-459_feeling-sick_it-was-not-him-i-hated-but-the-thing-we_2122562.png" --- # It was not him I hated—but the thing we’d done. I didn’t… ![“It was not him I hated—but the thing we’d done. I didn’t want him looking into my heart just yet. Instead, I wanted to remove myself from this bog of self-loathing and didn’t know how to do it. “You’re feeling sick about it, aren’t you?” Again I shrugged the comment away. “I knew we shouldn’t…” quote by André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/396/andre-aciman-459_feeling-sick_it-was-not-him-i-hated-but-the-thing-we_2122562.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/396/andre-aciman-459_feeling-sick_it-was-not-him-i-hated-but-the-thing-we_2122562.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/396/andre-aciman-459_feeling-sick_it-was-not-him-i-hated-but-the-thing-we_2122562.png) > ““It was not him I hated—but the thing we’d done. I didn’t want him looking into my heart just yet. Instead, I wanted to remove myself from this bog of self-loathing and didn’t know how to do it. “You’re feeling sick about it, aren’t you?” Again I shrugged the comment away. “I knew we shouldn’t have. I knew it,” he repeated. For the first time in my life I watched him balk, prey to self-doubt.”” [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A character grapples with guilt and self‑loathing, fearing intimacy while confronting his own doubts. **In simple terms:** He fears closeness because of self‑hate and uncertainty. Key Takeaway Acknowledge guilt and seek honest self‑reflection. Themes guilt self‑loathing intimacy doubt Mood melancholic introspective Type literary emotional When to use this quote - relationship counseling - personal therapy - self‑help groups - writing exercises Key Concepts psychology emotional conflict self‑awareness Questions to Reflect On - What does the character need to forgive himself? - How can one move from self‑loathing to self‑acceptance? A Different Perspective Self‑reflection may be painful and not immediately resolve inner conflict. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Didn Want](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/didn-want/) [Feeling sick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feeling-sick/) [First time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/first-time/) [Loathing Didn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loathing-didn-4337098/) [Self doubt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-doubt/) [Self loathing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-loathing/) [Shrugged Comment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shrugged-comment-3456559/) ## Related quotes > [“Now may I taste it?” I shook my head. 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Messengers…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-gibson-paton/and-over-that-side-of-the-island-all-their-sacred-men-were-at-work/) [John Gibson Paton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-gibson-paton/) > [“He's filled with a sense of childish release, the old feeling that because you are sick, all your trials and obligations have been suspended.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-cunningham/he-s-filled-with-a-sense-of-childish-release-the-old-feeling-that/) [Michael Cunningham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-cunningham/) > [Anxiety affects everyone differently. I spoke to someone who felt like their heart was beating 1,000 times a minute. With me, it was a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bojan-krkic/anxiety-affects-everyone-differently-i-spoke-to-someone-who-felt-like/) [Bojan Krkic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bojan-krkic/) > [Lucy: Our teacher wants us to write an essay on praying. Charlie Brown: Praying is important when you wake up at two o'clock in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-m-schulz/lucy-our-teacher-wants-us-to-write-an-essay-on-praying-charlie-brown/) [Charles M. Schulz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-m-schulz/) > [I am Loving you today, more than I loved you yesterday every Passing minute brings me little closer to you knew Feelings Start in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ashley-wintrow/i-am-loving-you-today-more-than-i-loved-you-yesterday-every-passing/) [Ashley Wintrow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ashley-wintrow/) > [The feeling of being sick, but you're not really sick. You're just sad, upset, unhappy. You just feel like laying in bed all day.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-feeling-of-being-sick-but-you-re-not-really-sick-you-re-just-sad/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“had been like wandering into the wrong carnival sideshow, the kind that left one feeling sick and slightly soiled.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-connolly/had-been-like-wandering-into-the-wrong-carnival-sideshow-the-kind/) [John Connolly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-connolly/) ## More by André Aciman > [Don't all writers have a hidden nerve, call it a secret chamber, something irreducibly theirs, which stirs their prose and makes it tick and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/don-t-all-writers-have-a-hidden-nerve-call-it-a-secret-chamber/) [Andre Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“I wanted him to remember the morning on Monet's berm when I'd kissed him not the first but the second time and given him…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/i-wanted-him-to-remember-the-morning-on-monet-s-berm-when-i-d-kissed/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [Rituals are how we step into our private field of dreams, a small Elysium all our own. 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I wanted him…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/well-since-you-re-not-going-to-do-anything-with-me-can-you-at-least/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“This is heaven.” And I wouldn’t hear him say another word for at least an hour. There was nothing I loved more in life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/this-is-heaven-and-i-wouldn-t-hear-him-say-another-word-for-at-least/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“He loved the sticky taste. What had I done? I told him and pointed to the bruised evidence sitting on my desk. “Let me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/he-loved-the-sticky-taste-what-had-i-done-i-told-him-and-pointed-to/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“When had they separated us, you and me, Oliver? And why did I know it, and why didn't you?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/when-had-they-separated-us-you-and-me-oliver-and-why-did-i-know-it/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“As we were swimming back, he asked as though it were an afterthought, “Are you going to hold last night against me?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/as-we-were-swimming-back-he-asked-as-though-it-were-an-afterthought/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“To be with you. To be with you, Oliver. With or without my bathing suit. To be with you on my bed. In your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/to-be-with-you-to-be-with-you-oliver-with-or-without-my-bathing-suit/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“I thought I could ever want another living soul, gently, softly, and, with the kindness one Jew extends to another, work his way into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/i-thought-i-could-ever-want-another-living-soul-gently-softly-and/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“Oliver: But there's the catch: you're still twenty years younger than those gathered around you, which is why I can be twenty-four in a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/oliver-but-there-s-the-catch-you-re-still-twenty-years-younger-than/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [I cannot write if there is a sense of plenitude. I have to hypothesize that there is a loss.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/i-cannot-write-if-there-is-a-sense-of-plenitude-i-have-to-hypothesize/) [Andre Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) [Explore all 527 André Aciman quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) ## More Feeling sick quotes > [“had been like wandering into the wrong carnival sideshow, the kind that left one feeling sick and slightly soiled.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-connolly/had-been-like-wandering-into-the-wrong-carnival-sideshow-the-kind/) [John Connolly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-connolly/) > [The feeling of being sick, but you're not really sick. You're just sad, upset, unhappy. You just feel like laying in bed all day.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-feeling-of-being-sick-but-you-re-not-really-sick-you-re-just-sad/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I am Loving you today, more than I loved you yesterday every Passing minute brings me little closer to you knew Feelings Start in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ashley-wintrow/i-am-loving-you-today-more-than-i-loved-you-yesterday-every-passing/) [Ashley Wintrow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ashley-wintrow/) > [Lucy: Our teacher wants us to write an essay on praying. Charlie Brown: Praying is important when you wake up at two o'clock in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-m-schulz/lucy-our-teacher-wants-us-to-write-an-essay-on-praying-charlie-brown/) [Charles M. Schulz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-m-schulz/) > [Anxiety affects everyone differently. I spoke to someone who felt like their heart was beating 1,000 times a minute. With me, it was a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bojan-krkic/anxiety-affects-everyone-differently-i-spoke-to-someone-who-felt-like/) [Bojan Krkic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bojan-krkic/) > [“He's filled with a sense of childish release, the old feeling that because you are sick, all your trials and obligations have been suspended.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-cunningham/he-s-filled-with-a-sense-of-childish-release-the-old-feeling-that/) [Michael Cunningham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-cunningham/) > [... and over that side of the island all their sacred men were at work trying to kill me by their (magical) arts. Messengers…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-gibson-paton/and-over-that-side-of-the-island-all-their-sacred-men-were-at-work/) [John Gibson Paton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-gibson-paton/) > [Sex? With no condom? Yeah, it might feel good. Yeah, you gon' love it at the moment. Oh, you woke up? Feeling sick? Puking…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/sex-with-no-condom-yeah-it-might-feel-good-yeah-you-gon-love-it-at/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [In depression, you're flattened. Your energy level is gone. When I'm anxious, I tend to have more energy. But it depends on the nature…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lynne-tillman/in-depression-you-re-flattened-your-energy-level-is-gone-when-i-m/) [Lynne Tillman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lynne-tillman/) > [The feelings that we equate with love-feeling sick, feeling insecure, not eating-that's just lust getting in the way. It's your ego saying, 'I want…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simon-cowell/the-feelings-that-we-equate-with-love-feeling-sick-feeling-insecure/) [Simon Cowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simon-cowell/) > [I was actually born in the front bedroom while my dad sat on the wall outside, feeling sick. 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In other words, we need to start talking victory…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jentezen-franklin/we-need-to-send-our-words-out-in-the-direction-we-want-them-to-go-in/) [Jentezen Franklin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jentezen-franklin/) > [“I'm feeling sick, but not the vomiting kind. Loss of independence is painful in ways no one can see.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-m-feeling-sick-but-not-the-vomiting-kind-loss-of-independence-is/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) [Browse all 38 Feeling sick quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feeling-sick/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“It was not him I hated—but the thing we’d done. I didn’t want him looking into my heart just yet. Instead, I wanted to remove myself from this bog of self-loathing and didn’t know how to do it. “You’re feeling sick about it, aren’t you?” Again I shrugged the comment away. “I knew we shouldn’t have. 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