--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I was mistaken—and I don’t think I…" description: "\"“I was mistaken—and I don’t think I was—that what we had between us was the total transparency that exists among friends only. Perhaps we were friends ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/229/andre-aciman-459_friendship_i-was-mistaken-and-i-don-t-think-i-was-t_1624847.png" --- # I was mistaken—and I don’t think I was—that what we had… ![“I was mistaken—and I don’t think I was—that what we had between us was the total transparency that exists among friends only. Perhaps we were friends first and lovers second. But then perhaps this is what lovers are.” quote by André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/229/andre-aciman-459_friendship_i-was-mistaken-and-i-don-t-think-i-was-t_1624847.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/229/andre-aciman-459_friendship_i-was-mistaken-and-i-don-t-think-i-was-t_1624847.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/229/andre-aciman-459_friendship_i-was-mistaken-and-i-don-t-think-i-was-t_1624847.png) > ““I was mistaken—and I don’t think I was—that what we had between us was the total transparency that exists among friends only. Perhaps we were friends first and lovers second. But then perhaps this is what lovers are.”” [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Friendship can evolve into romance, blurring boundaries between platonic and intimate bonds. **In simple terms:** Friends may become lovers. Key Takeaway Recognize shifting dynamics. Themes love friendship identity relationships Mood thoughtful introspective Type literary philosophical When to use this quote - college relationships - long‑term partnerships - dating friends Key Concepts attachment theory emotional intimacy Questions to Reflect On - When did friendship become romance? - Can both coexist? A Different Perspective Romantic expectations may complicate friendship. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Friendship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friendship/) [Lovers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lovers/) [Transparency](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/transparency/) ## Related quotes > [Perhaps we were friends first and lovers second. But then perhaps this is what lovers are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/perhaps-we-were-friends-first-and-lovers-second-but-then-perhaps-this/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“Though the trials of life are never easy, someone to stand with you and help you with your burdens is one of the true…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/micheal-rivers/though-the-trials-of-life-are-never-easy-someone-to-stand-with-you/) [Micheal Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/micheal-rivers/) > [“Find out how Claude and Kelly end up from being Friends 2 Lovers as you follow them through their disappointing, confusing, loving, shocking,encouraging, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-anthony-burkett/find-out-how-claude-and-kelly-end-up-from-being-friends-2-lovers-as/) [Jonathan Anthony Burkett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-anthony-burkett/) > [The spread of democracy is a wonderful thing-it is a necessary foundation for peace-and it can happen. But it cannot be advanced by force,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-schell/the-spread-of-democracy-is-a-wonderful-thing-it-is-a-necessary/) [Jonathan Schell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-schell/) > [Just to prove i was right that it's harder to be friends than lovers and you shouldn't try and mix the two, cause if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/liz-phair/just-to-prove-i-was-right-that-it-s-harder-to-be-friends-than-lovers/) [Liz Phair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/liz-phair/) > [Become friends first before you ever become lovers, Get Jesus as your foundation before you get under the covers. you see when you becomes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jefferson-bethke/become-friends-first-before-you-ever-become-lovers-get-jesus-as-your/) [Jefferson Bethke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jefferson-bethke/) > [Better friends than lovers. Sugar can't you see? You need you and I really need me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aretha-franklin/better-friends-than-lovers-sugar-can-t-you-see-you-need-you-and-i/) [Aretha Franklin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aretha-franklin/) > [Its funny how, Friends become lovers, lovers become strangers and the people you know become the people you knew.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rashida-rowe/its-funny-how-friends-become-lovers-lovers-become-strangers-and-the/) [Rashida Rowe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rashida-rowe/) > [Friends--or lovers--are not always available to each other. Inner turmoils can cause us to be unhearing when someone needs us, to need to receive…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/madeleine-l-engle/friends-or-lovers-are-not-always-available-to-each-other-inner/) [Madeleine L'Engle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/madeleine-l-engle/) > [First we were friends, Then we were lovers, but now we act as if we don't know each other..>.<](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jochelle-dimitui/first-we-were-friends-then-we-were-lovers-but-now-we-act-as-if-we-don/) Jochelle Dimitui > [Friends, lovers, or nothing, we can really only ever be one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mayer/friends-lovers-or-nothing-we-can-really-only-ever-be-one/) [John Mayer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mayer/) > [Eventually you love people - friends or lovers - because of their flaws.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-allen/eventually-you-love-people-friends-or-lovers-because-of-their-flaws/) [Karen Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-allen/) > [More than friends but less than lovers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank/more-than-friends-but-less-than-lovers/) [Frank](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank/) > [Friends, Lovers Come & Goes But Candies Are Always Sweet -](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/km-ii/friends-lovers-come-goes-but-candies-are-always-sweet/) [KM II](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/km-ii/) > [MORE than FRIENDS..less than LOVERS.. -is indeed da HARDEST RELATIONSHIP of ALL..¢](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joanne-lobedica/more-than-friends-less-than-lovers-is-indeed-da-hardest-relationship/) [Joanne Lobedica](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joanne-lobedica/) ## More by André Aciman > [Don't all writers have a hidden nerve, call it a secret chamber, something irreducibly theirs, which stirs their prose and makes it tick and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/don-t-all-writers-have-a-hidden-nerve-call-it-a-secret-chamber/) [Andre Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“I wanted him to remember the morning on Monet's berm when I'd kissed him not the first but the second time and given him…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/i-wanted-him-to-remember-the-morning-on-monet-s-berm-when-i-d-kissed/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [Rituals are how we step into our private field of dreams, a small Elysium all our own. Rituals are made not just for us,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/rituals-are-how-we-step-into-our-private-field-of-dreams-a-small/) [Andre Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“I desperately wanted to give him something. By contrast, taking seemed so bland, so facile, so mechanical.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/i-desperately-wanted-to-give-him-something-by-contrast-taking-seemed/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“The man who'll lay the last stone here isn't even born yet.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/the-man-who-ll-lay-the-last-stone-here-isn-t-even-born-yet/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [Proust is interested in minutiae because life, as he sees it, is seldom ever about things but about our impression of things, not about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/proust-is-interested-in-minutiae-because-life-as-he-sees-it-is-seldom/) [Andre Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“Well, since you're not going to do anything with me—can you at least read me a story? I'd settle for that. I wanted him…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/well-since-you-re-not-going-to-do-anything-with-me-can-you-at-least/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“This is heaven.” And I wouldn’t hear him say another word for at least an hour. There was nothing I loved more in life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/this-is-heaven-and-i-wouldn-t-hear-him-say-another-word-for-at-least/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“He loved the sticky taste. What had I done? I told him and pointed to the bruised evidence sitting on my desk. “Let me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/he-loved-the-sticky-taste-what-had-i-done-i-told-him-and-pointed-to/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“When had they separated us, you and me, Oliver? And why did I know it, and why didn't you?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/when-had-they-separated-us-you-and-me-oliver-and-why-did-i-know-it/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“As we were swimming back, he asked as though it were an afterthought, “Are you going to hold last night against me?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/as-we-were-swimming-back-he-asked-as-though-it-were-an-afterthought/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“To be with you. To be with you, Oliver. With or without my bathing suit. To be with you on my bed. In your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/to-be-with-you-to-be-with-you-oliver-with-or-without-my-bathing-suit/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“I thought I could ever want another living soul, gently, softly, and, with the kindness one Jew extends to another, work his way into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/i-thought-i-could-ever-want-another-living-soul-gently-softly-and/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“Oliver: But there's the catch: you're still twenty years younger than those gathered around you, which is why I can be twenty-four in a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/oliver-but-there-s-the-catch-you-re-still-twenty-years-younger-than/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [I cannot write if there is a sense of plenitude. I have to hypothesize that there is a loss.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/i-cannot-write-if-there-is-a-sense-of-plenitude-i-have-to-hypothesize/) [Andre Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) [Explore all 527 André Aciman quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) ## More Friendship quotes > [Life is full of change. That's how we learn and grow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-is-full-of-change-that-s-how-we-learn-and-grow/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I never believed in trying to do anything. Whatever I set out to do I found I had already accomplished.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johann-wolfgang-von-goethe/i-never-believed-in-trying-to-do-anything-whatever-i-set-out-to-do-i/) [Johann Wolfgang von Goethe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johann-wolfgang-von-goethe/) > [“ever day Maureen is Selfish To her friend and Family One she get mad at her friend and family and She need to Grad…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maureen-andeson/ever-day-maureen-is-selfish-to-her-friend-and-family-one-she-get-mad/) Maureen Andeson > [I'm trying to write a film with my friend. I'd love to get the thrill of speaking actors making my work even funnier.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-howard/i-m-trying-to-write-a-film-with-my-friend-i-d-love-to-get-the-thrill/) [Russell Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-howard/) > [I gave my archive to Emory University because there's a really dear friend who teaches there, Rudolph Byrd, and he's the editor.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-walker/i-gave-my-archive-to-emory-university-because-there-s-a-really-dear/) [Alice Walker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-walker/) > [Friends are like stars you can't always see them, but you know they're there.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/unknwon/friends-are-like-stars-you-can-t-always-see-them-but-you-know-they-re/) Unknwon > [I've been writing songs since I was 10 years old and always had a penchant for rhyming. I started listening to hip hop through…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hoodie-allen/i-ve-been-writing-songs-since-i-was-10-years-old-and-always-had-a/) [Hoodie Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hoodie-allen/) > [If you love some one for who they are not for there body or how many friend so when you say I love you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/unknow/if-you-love-some-one-for-who-they-are-not-for-there-body-or-how-many/) Unknow > [“But my best friend from college was silent for a long time. She, of all of my friends, had seen the parade of sad…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-groff/but-my-best-friend-from-college-was-silent-for-a-long-time-she-of-all/) [Lauren Groff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-groff/) > [You smile upon your friend to-day, To-day his ills are over; You hearken to the lover's say, And happy is the lover. 'Tis late…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-smile-upon-your-friend-to-day-to-day-his-ills-are-over-you/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“way. A true friend isn't the one that agrees with everything you say or do. A true friend is someone that has your back…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shameek-speight/way-a-true-friend-isn-t-the-one-that-agrees-with-everything-you-say/) [Shameek Speight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shameek-speight/) > [No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/no-one-is-completely-unhappy-at-the-failure-of-his-best-friend/) [Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/) > [“Kings don’t move mountains as a favor to a friend,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/megan-whalen-turner/kings-don-t-move-mountains-as-a-favor-to-a-friend/) [Megan Whalen Turner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/megan-whalen-turner/) > [I have friends and family that identify as LGBTQ.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-mace/i-have-friends-and-family-that-identify-as-lgbtq/) [Nancy Mace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-mace/) > [“The real purpose of friendship was to discover and exploit weakness in others.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-thompson/the-real-purpose-of-friendship-was-to-discover-and-exploit-weakness/) [Brian Thompson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-thompson/) [Browse all 45,469 Friendship quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friendship/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I was mistaken—and I don’t think I was—that what we had between us was the total transparency that exists among friends only. 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