--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Did I want him to act? Or would I prefer…" description: "\"“Did I want him to act? Or would I prefer a lifetime of longing provided we both kept this little Ping-Pong game going: not knowing, not-not-knowing, n..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/672/andre-aciman-459_diplomat_did-i-want-him-to-act-or-would-i-prefer_134487.png" --- # Did I want him to act? Or would I prefer a lifetime of… ![“Did I want him to act? Or would I prefer a lifetime of longing provided we both kept this little Ping-Pong game going: not knowing, not-not-knowing, not-not-not-knowing? Just be quiet, say nothing, and if you can't say "yes," don't say "no," say "later." Is this why people say "maybe" when they…” quote by André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/672/andre-aciman-459_diplomat_did-i-want-him-to-act-or-would-i-prefer_134487.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/672/andre-aciman-459_diplomat_did-i-want-him-to-act-or-would-i-prefer_134487.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/672/andre-aciman-459_diplomat_did-i-want-him-to-act-or-would-i-prefer_134487.png) > ““Did I want him to act? Or would I prefer a lifetime of longing provided we both kept this little Ping-Pong game going: not knowing, not-not-knowing, not-not-not-knowing? Just be quiet, say nothing, and if you can't say "yes," don't say "no," say "later." Is this why people say "maybe" when they mean "yes," but hope you'll think it's "no" when all they really mean is, Please, just ask me once more, and once more after that? ”” [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Indecision and avoidance create endless longing; honest communication is needed to break the cycle. **In simple terms:** Avoidance fuels longing; speak honestly. Key Takeaway Speak truth to end uncertainty. Themes communication indecision longing Mood anxious hopeful Type reflective inspirational When to use this quote - dating - conflict resolution - personal boundaries Key Concepts psychology relationships Questions to Reflect On - What does 'later' mean for you? - How can you express true feelings? A Different Perspective Fear of rejection may silence truth. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Diplomat](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/diplomat/) ## Related quotes > [“Just be quiet, say nothing, and if you can't say "yes," don't say "no," say "later." Is this why people say "maybe" when they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/just-be-quiet-say-nothing-and-if-you-can-t-say-yes-don-t-say-no-say/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“Is this why people say “maybe” when they mean “yes,” but hope you’ll think it’s “no” when all they really mean is, Please, just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/is-this-why-people-say-maybe-when-they-mean-yes-but-hope-you-ll-think/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“And why wouldn't I show him how like butter I was? Because I was afraid of what might happen then? 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No more does yes mean yes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-redding/our-words-are-no-longer-stronger-than-oak-no-more-does-yes-mean-yes/) Thomas Redding > [Girls are so queer you never know what they mean. 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By contrast, taking seemed so bland, so facile, so mechanical.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/i-desperately-wanted-to-give-him-something-by-contrast-taking-seemed/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“The man who'll lay the last stone here isn't even born yet.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/the-man-who-ll-lay-the-last-stone-here-isn-t-even-born-yet/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [Proust is interested in minutiae because life, as he sees it, is seldom ever about things but about our impression of things, not about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/proust-is-interested-in-minutiae-because-life-as-he-sees-it-is-seldom/) [Andre Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“Well, since you're not going to do anything with me—can you at least read me a story? I'd settle for that. 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In your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/to-be-with-you-to-be-with-you-oliver-with-or-without-my-bathing-suit/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“I thought I could ever want another living soul, gently, softly, and, with the kindness one Jew extends to another, work his way into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/i-thought-i-could-ever-want-another-living-soul-gently-softly-and/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [“Oliver: But there's the catch: you're still twenty years younger than those gathered around you, which is why I can be twenty-four in a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/oliver-but-there-s-the-catch-you-re-still-twenty-years-younger-than/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [I cannot write if there is a sense of plenitude. I have to hypothesize that there is a loss.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/i-cannot-write-if-there-is-a-sense-of-plenitude-i-have-to-hypothesize/) [Andre Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) [Explore all 527 André Aciman quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) ## More Diplomat quotes > [How much more comfortable it is to say 'Yes, and...' than 'Yes, but...'.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lawrence-fagg/how-much-more-comfortable-it-is-to-say-yes-and-than-yes-but/) [Lawrence Fagg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lawrence-fagg/) > [Too many of us fail to fulfill our needs because we say no rather than yes, or perhaps later in life, yes when we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-glasser/too-many-of-us-fail-to-fulfill-our-needs-because-we-say-no-rather/) [William Glasser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-glasser/) > [In truth, the degree of anyone's success depends on how often they can say the word yes and hear the word no.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-palahniuk/in-truth-the-degree-of-anyone-s-success-depends-on-how-often-they-can/) [Chuck Palahniuk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-palahniuk/) > [I know firsthand from my experience working counterintelligence investigations for the FBI that kicking a diplomat out of the country is no small thing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asha-rangappa/i-know-firsthand-from-my-experience-working-counterintelligence/) [Asha Rangappa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asha-rangappa/) > [“You don't have to say yes to everything, you know. 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Kuykendall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-k-kuykendall/) > [Your capacity to say "No" determines your capacity to say "Yes" to greater things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-stanley-jones/your-capacity-to-say-no-determines-your-capacity-to-say-yes-to/) [E. Stanley Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-stanley-jones/) > [I majored in political communications, so I intended to be a diplomat.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edgar-ramirez/i-majored-in-political-communications-so-i-intended-to-be-a-diplomat/) [Edgar Ramirez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edgar-ramirez/) > [Saying no to something is actually much more powerful than saying yes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-hanks/saying-no-to-something-is-actually-much-more-powerful-than-saying-yes/) [Tom Hanks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-hanks/) > [My father was a diplomat and served as Pakistan's ambassador to 14 countries. 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Just be quiet, say nothing, and if you can't say \"yes,\" don't say \"no,\" say \"later.\" Is this why people say \"maybe\" when they mean \"yes,\" but hope you'll think it's \"no\" when all they really mean is, Please, just ask me once more, and once more after that? ”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "André Aciman" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/did-i-want-him-to-act-or-would-i-prefer-a-lifetime-of-longing/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Diplomat" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/did-i-want-him-to-act-or-would-i-prefer-a-lifetime-of-longing/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/672/andre-aciman-459_diplomat_did-i-want-him-to-act-or-would-i-prefer_134487.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/672/andre-aciman-459_diplomat_did-i-want-him-to-act-or-would-i-prefer_134487.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/672/andre-aciman-459_diplomat_did-i-want-him-to-act-or-would-i-prefer_134487.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Did I want him to act? 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