--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I learned to make things not matter, to…" description: "\"I learned to make things not matter, to put a seal on my hopes and place them on a high shelf, out of reach. And by telling myself that there was nothi..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cf8/amy-tan-730_ache_i-learned-to-make-things-not-matter-to-p_2911531.jpg" --- # I learned to make things not matter, to put a seal on my… ![“I learned to make things not matter, to put a seal on my hopes and place them on a high shelf, out of reach. And by telling myself that there was nothing inside those hopes anyway, I avoided the wounds of deep disappointment. The pain was no worse than the quick sting of a booster shot. And yet…” quote by Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cf8/amy-tan-730_ache_i-learned-to-make-things-not-matter-to-p_2911531.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cf8/amy-tan-730_ache_i-learned-to-make-things-not-matter-to-p_2911531.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cf8/amy-tan-730_ache_i-learned-to-make-things-not-matter-to-p_2911531.jpg) > “I learned to make things not matter, to put a seal on my hopes and place them on a high shelf, out of reach. And by telling myself that there was nothing inside those hopes anyway, I avoided the wounds of deep disappointment. The pain was no worse than the quick sting of a booster shot. And yet thinking about this makes me ache again. How is it that as a child I knew I should have been loved more? Is everyone born with a bottomless emotional resevoir?” [Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. She suppresses hope to avoid disappointment, yet the longing persists, questioning innate emotional capacity. **In simple terms:** She hides hopes to avoid pain, but still feels ache. Key Takeaway Recognize and process feelings rather than suppress them. Themes emotional regulation self‑protection longing Mood reflective melancholic Type literary philosophical When to use this quote - personal reflection - therapy - creative writing - relationships Key Concepts psychological defense attachment theory human need for love Questions to Reflect On - Why do we hide our deepest hopes? - Can we find balance between hope and protection? A Different Perspective Suppressing emotions can lead to unresolved pain and stagnation. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Disappointment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/disappointment/) [Emotional](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/emotional/) [Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hope/) [Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain/) [Seals](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/seals/) [Thinking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thinking/) [Wounds](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wounds/) ## Related quotes > [I don't know a lot but I do know I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of disappointment, pain, the lies & the games.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-don-t-know-a-lot-but-i-do-know-i-m-tired-of-hurting-i-m-tired-of/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [You are loved when you are born,you are loved when you die.In between you have to manage.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-are-loved-when-you-are-born-you-are-loved-when-you-die-in-between/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“My eyes may not know all of you, but my heart does. I loved you before I was born, and I will love you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dannika-dark/my-eyes-may-not-know-all-of-you-but-my-heart-does-i-loved-you-before/) [Dannika Dark](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dannika-dark/) > [“I loved you before we met. Before I ever laid eyes on you. I think I loved you before I was born. Is that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/juliana-stone/i-loved-you-before-we-met-before-i-ever-laid-eyes-on-you-i-think-i/) [Juliana Stone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/juliana-stone/) > [Seal my lips on aches and pains. They are increasing, and love of rehearsing them is becoming sweeter as the years go by.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rosalind-russell/seal-my-lips-on-aches-and-pains-they-are-increasing-and-love-of/) [Rosalind Russell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rosalind-russell/) > [There were events that stuck in my mind. One, for example, was the case of the missing palace seal at the beginning of winter.’…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melina-marchetta/there-were-events-that-stuck-in-my-mind-one-for-example-was-the-case/) [Melina Marchetta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melina-marchetta/) > [Our liberties do not come from charters; for these are only the declaration of pre-existing rights. They do not depend on parchments or seals;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dickinson/our-liberties-do-not-come-from-charters-for-these-are-only-the/) [John Dickinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dickinson/) > [Extinguish my eyes, I'll go on seeing you. Seal my ears, I'll go on hearing you. And without feet I can make my way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rainer-maria-rilke/extinguish-my-eyes-i-ll-go-on-seeing-you-seal-my-ears-i-ll-go-on/) [Rainer Maria Rilke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rainer-maria-rilke/) > [The great seal of truth is simplicity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herman-boerhaave/the-great-seal-of-truth-is-simplicity/) [Herman Boerhaave](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herman-boerhaave/) > [Don't let obstacles along the road to eternity shake your confidence in God's promise. The Holy Spirit is God's seal that you will arrive.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-jeremiah/don-t-let-obstacles-along-the-road-to-eternity-shake-your-confidence/) [David Jeremiah](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-jeremiah/) > [“A couple hours went by, and the storm began to turn back to the sea. The dark clouds rolled away, leaving white, fluffy ones…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-mcginnis/a-couple-hours-went-by-and-the-storm-began-to-turn-back-to-the-sea/) [Joseph McGinnis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-mcginnis/) > [Probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because WHERE DOES HE THINK…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/probably-to-a-shark-about-the-funniest-thing-there-is-is-a-wounded/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Kings or parliaments could not give the rights essential to happiness... We claim them from a higher source - from the King of kings,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dickinson/kings-or-parliaments-could-not-give-the-rights-essential-to-happiness/) [John Dickinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dickinson/) > [The impossibility of separating the nomenclature of a science from the science itself, is owing to this, that every branch of physical science must…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/antoine-lavoisier/the-impossibility-of-separating-the-nomenclature-of-a-science-from/) [Antoine Lavoisier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/antoine-lavoisier/) > [We seal our fate with the choices we take, but don't give a second thought to the chances we take.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-estefan/we-seal-our-fate-with-the-choices-we-take-but-don-t-give-a-second/) [Gloria Estefan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-estefan/) ## More by Amy Tan > [So sad! This is the saddest part when you lose someone you love- that person keeps changing. And later you wonder, Is this the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/so-sad-this-is-the-saddest-part-when-you-lose-someone-you-love-that/) [Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/) > [Too many good things all seem the same after a while.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/too-many-good-things-all-seem-the-same-after-a-while/) [Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/) > [“bad, how likely is it to come”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/bad-how-likely-is-it-to-come/) [Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/) > [“A mother is always the beginning. She is how things begin.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/a-mother-is-always-the-beginning-she-is-how-things-begin/) [Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/) > [Shanghainese people are good negotiators, they're very persistent, and you grow up in an atmosphere like that - very competitive. 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Your tears do not wash away your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/now-you-see-said-the-turtle-drifting-back-into-the-pond-why-it-is/) [Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/) > [I hid my deepest feelings so well I forgot where I placed them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/i-hid-my-deepest-feelings-so-well-i-forgot-where-i-placed-them/) [Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/) > [“Lebih baik jadi orang yang TIDAK TERLUPAKAN daripada orang yang MEMBOSANKAN -”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/lebih-baik-jadi-orang-yang-tidak-terlupakan-daripada-orang-yang/) [Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/) > [After all, Bao Bomu says, what is the past but what we choose to remember?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/after-all-bao-bomu-says-what-is-the-past-but-what-we-choose-to/) [Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/) > [We all become different readers in how we respond to books, why we need them, what we take from them. We become different in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/we-all-become-different-readers-in-how-we-respond-to-books-why-we/) [Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/) > [“I was no longer scared. I could see what was inside me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/i-was-no-longer-scared-i-could-see-what-was-inside-me/) [Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/) > [When I go back and read my journals or fiction, I am always surprised. I may not remember having those thoughts, but they still…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/when-i-go-back-and-read-my-journals-or-fiction-i-am-always-surprised/) [Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/) > [“I am ashamed she is ashamed. Because she is my daughter and I am proud of her, and I am her mother but she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/i-am-ashamed-she-is-ashamed-because-she-is-my-daughter-and-i-am-proud/) [Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/) [Explore all 383 Amy Tan quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/) ## More Ache quotes > [… and so he tried to accept the ache in his heart as what Dr. Larch would call the common symptoms of normal life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-irving/and-so-he-tried-to-accept-the-ache-in-his-heart-as-what-dr-larch/) [John Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-irving/) > [When we went into the ocean, I watched his body as he dove into the waves, and it gave me a feeling in my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/when-we-went-into-the-ocean-i-watched-his-body-as-he-dove-into-the/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [A woman who lives with the stress of an overwhelmed schedule will often ache with the sadness of an underwhelmed soul.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lysa-terkeurst/a-woman-who-lives-with-the-stress-of-an-overwhelmed-schedule-will/) [Lysa TerKeurst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lysa-terkeurst/) > [I ache for the touch of your lips dear, but much more for the touch of your whips dear.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-lehrer/i-ache-for-the-touch-of-your-lips-dear-but-much-more-for-the-touch-of/) [Tom Lehrer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-lehrer/) > [I was not wounded in any part of my body, but I had never experienced such intense pain, such a ripping of the nerves,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yann-martel/i-was-not-wounded-in-any-part-of-my-body-but-i-had-never-experienced/) [Yann Martel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yann-martel/) > [And the flavor of Pippa's kiss--bittersweet and strange--stayed with me all the way back uptown, swaying and sleepy as I sailed home on the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/and-the-flavor-of-pippa-s-kiss-bittersweet-and-strange-stayed-with-me/) [Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/) > [They are enthusiasts, devotees. Addicts. Something about the circus stirs their souls, and they ache for it when it is absent. They seek each…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erin-morgenstern/they-are-enthusiasts-devotees-addicts-something-about-the-circus/) [Erin Morgenstern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erin-morgenstern/) > [as we acquire new aches and new pains, our health care is, of necessity, being supplied by internists, cardiologists, dermatologists, podiatrists, urologists, periodontists, gynecologists…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-viorst/as-we-acquire-new-aches-and-new-pains-our-health-care-is-of-necessity/) [Judith Viorst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-viorst/) > [Jamie enjoyed solitude, but loneliness was a constant ache.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sidney-sheldon/jamie-enjoyed-solitude-but-loneliness-was-a-constant-ache/) [Sidney Sheldon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sidney-sheldon/) > [Some men make money not for the sake of living, but ache In the blindness of greed and live just for their fortune's sake.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/juvenal/some-men-make-money-not-for-the-sake-of-living-but-ache-in-the/) [Juvenal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/juvenal/) > [Staring at her face, she began to fancy her outer layer had begun to melt away while she wasn't paying attention, and something --…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laini-taylor/staring-at-her-face-she-began-to-fancy-her-outer-layer-had-begun-to/) [Laini Taylor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laini-taylor/) > [O thou beautiful And unimaginable ether! and Ye multiplying masses of increased And still increasing lights! what are ye? what Is this blue wilderness…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lord-byron/o-thou-beautiful-and-unimaginable-ether-and-ye-multiplying-masses-of/) [Lord Byron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lord-byron/) > [An emotion is a thought, yes, an idea, but it is also a sensation, an ache in your body. Desire, love, hate, fear, repulsion…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-landay/an-emotion-is-a-thought-yes-an-idea-but-it-is-also-a-sensation-an/) [William Landay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-landay/) > [He that sleeps feels not the tooth-ache](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/he-that-sleeps-feels-not-the-tooth-ache/) [William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/) > [I will live this day as if it is my last. …I will waste not a moment mourning yesterday’s misfortunes, Yesterday’s defeats, yesterday’s aches…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/og-mandino/i-will-live-this-day-as-if-it-is-my-last-i-will-waste-not-a-moment/) [Og Mandino](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/og-mandino/) Browse all 489 Ache quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I learned to make things not matter, to put a seal on my hopes and place them on a high shelf, out of reach. 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