---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Being able to restrain my emotions isn’t…"
description: "\"“Being able to restrain my emotions isn’t a great victory—it’s the pitiful proof of lost love.”\" — Amy Tan"
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1fd/amy-tan-730_lost-love_being-able-to-restrain-my-emotions-isn-t_1397097.jpg"
---

#  Being able to restrain my emotions isn’t a great…

![“Being able to restrain my emotions isn’t a great victory—it’s the pitiful proof of lost love.” quote by Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1fd/amy-tan-730_lost-love_being-able-to-restrain-my-emotions-isn-t_1397097.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1fd/amy-tan-730_lost-love_being-able-to-restrain-my-emotions-isn-t_1397097.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1fd/amy-tan-730_lost-love_being-able-to-restrain-my-emotions-isn-t_1397097.jpg)

> ““Being able to restrain my emotions isn’t a great victory—it’s the pitiful proof of lost love.””

[Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Restraining emotions is seen not as triumph but as evidence of lost love, suggesting suppression hides pain.

**In simple terms:** Suppressing feelings shows hidden hurt.

Key Takeaway

Allow emotions to surface.

Themes

love emotional health loss

Mood

reflective poignant

Type

literary emotional

When to use this quote

- relationship counseling
- personal journaling
- artistic expression
- grief support

Key Concepts

psychological repression grief processing

Questions to Reflect On

- When is emotional restraint healthy?
- How can you express love without pain?

A Different Perspective

Some restraint can protect in certain contexts.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Emotions](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/emotions/) [Lost love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lost-love/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/)

## Related quotes

> [Emotional Literacy means being able to recognise what you are feeling, so that it doesn't interfere with thinking. It becomes another dimension to draw…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susie-orbach/emotional-literacy-means-being-able-to-recognise-what-you-are-feeling/)

[Susie Orbach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susie-orbach/)

> [I have seen that grief can be very different for different people. While the range of emotions experienced is similar, the way we deal…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/i-have-seen-that-grief-can-be-very-different-for-different-people/)

[Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/)

> [“But buzz also has considerable downsides. “Everyone assumes that it’s good to accentuate positive emotions, but that isn’t correct,” the psychology professor Richard Howard…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-cain/but-buzz-also-has-considerable-downsides-everyone-assumes-that-it-s/)

[Susan Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-cain/)

> [So sad! This is the saddest part when you lose someone you love- that person keeps changing. And later you wonder, Is this the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/so-sad-this-is-the-saddest-part-when-you-lose-someone-you-love-that/)

[Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/)

> [He caught her, she fell, he caught her in his arms, he held her tightly unconscious of what he was doing. He held her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/victor-hugo/he-caught-her-she-fell-he-caught-her-in-his-arms-he-held-her-tightly/)

[Victor Hugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/victor-hugo/)

> [“Love can give you such happiness, then can break the very heart it filled, leaving a hole that can never be fixed or protected…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-mcleod/love-can-give-you-such-happiness-then-can-break-the-very-heart-it/)

Kevin McLeod

> [On stage, you can bring all those strong emotions that you don't have the opportunity to live. You don't want to die for love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sylvie-guillem/on-stage-you-can-bring-all-those-strong-emotions-that-you-don-t-have/)

[Sylvie Guillem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sylvie-guillem/)

> [Of course I like you. It's because I like you I don't wanna be with you. It's a complicated emotion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marlin/of-course-i-like-you-it-s-because-i-like-you-i-don-t-wanna-be-with/)

Marlin

> [You will never fully understand how much you mean to me, because there are no amount of words that can begin to describe my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-will-never-fully-understand-how-much-you-mean-to-me-because-there/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Even if we can't be together in the end. I'm glad that you were part of my life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anurag-prakash-ray/even-if-we-can-t-be-together-in-the-end-i-m-glad-that-you-were-part/)

[Anurag Prakash Ray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anurag-prakash-ray/)

> [A lost love. Deny it who will, ridicule it, treat it as mere imagination and sentiment, the thing is and will be; and women…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/a-lost-love-deny-it-who-will-ridicule-it-treat-it-as-mere-imagination/)

[Dinah Maria Murlock Craik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/)

> [I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikhil-saluja/i-used-to-receive-virtual-smiles-sweet-morning-and-night-greetings/)

[Nikhil Saluja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikhil-saluja/)

> [I honestly can't take this anymore. I just cant stand it seeing you with him any longer. I tried to be strong, I tried…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mahmoud-el-hallab/i-honestly-can-t-take-this-anymore-i-just-cant-stand-it-seeing-you/)

[Mahmoud El Hallab](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mahmoud-el-hallab/)

> [I wish that one day you would finally realize that the person that is willing to love you forever is the person you are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/khat-leen/i-wish-that-one-day-you-would-finally-realize-that-the-person-that-is/)

[Khat Leen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/khat-leen/)

> [People always wonder when the world is going to end. I believe that the world will end when everyone stops loving.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nichole-fickes/people-always-wonder-when-the-world-is-going-to-end-i-believe-that/)

[Nichole Fickes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nichole-fickes/)

## More by Amy Tan

> [So sad! This is the saddest part when you lose someone you love- that person keeps changing. And later you wonder, Is this the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/so-sad-this-is-the-saddest-part-when-you-lose-someone-you-love-that/)

[Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/)

> [Too many good things all seem the same after a while.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/too-many-good-things-all-seem-the-same-after-a-while/)

[Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/)

> [“bad, how likely is it to come”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/bad-how-likely-is-it-to-come/)

[Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/)

> [“A mother is always the beginning. She is how things begin.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/a-mother-is-always-the-beginning-she-is-how-things-begin/)

[Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/)

> [Shanghainese people are good negotiators, they're very persistent, and you grow up in an atmosphere like that - very competitive. That becomes part of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/shanghainese-people-are-good-negotiators-they-re-very-persistent-and/)

[Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/)

> [But now that I am old, moving every year closer to the end of my life, I also feel closer to the beginning. And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/but-now-that-i-am-old-moving-every-year-closer-to-the-end-of-my-life/)

[Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/)

> [You should think about your character. Know where you are changing, how you will be changed, what cannot be changed back again.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/you-should-think-about-your-character-know-where-you-are-changing-how/)

[Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/)

> [Now you see,' said the turtle, drifting back into the pond, 'why it is useless to cry. Your tears do not wash away your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/now-you-see-said-the-turtle-drifting-back-into-the-pond-why-it-is/)

[Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/)

> [I hid my deepest feelings so well I forgot where I placed them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/i-hid-my-deepest-feelings-so-well-i-forgot-where-i-placed-them/)

[Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/)

> [“Lebih baik jadi orang yang TIDAK TERLUPAKAN daripada orang yang MEMBOSANKAN -”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/lebih-baik-jadi-orang-yang-tidak-terlupakan-daripada-orang-yang/)

[Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/)

> [After all, Bao Bomu says, what is the past but what we choose to remember?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/after-all-bao-bomu-says-what-is-the-past-but-what-we-choose-to/)

[Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/)

> [We all become different readers in how we respond to books, why we need them, what we take from them. We become different in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/we-all-become-different-readers-in-how-we-respond-to-books-why-we/)

[Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/)

> [“I was no longer scared. I could see what was inside me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/i-was-no-longer-scared-i-could-see-what-was-inside-me/)

[Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/)

> [When I go back and read my journals or fiction, I am always surprised. I may not remember having those thoughts, but they still…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/when-i-go-back-and-read-my-journals-or-fiction-i-am-always-surprised/)

[Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/)

> [“I am ashamed she is ashamed. Because she is my daughter and I am proud of her, and I am her mother but she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/i-am-ashamed-she-is-ashamed-because-she-is-my-daughter-and-i-am-proud/)

[Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/)

[Explore all 383 Amy Tan quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/)

## More Emotions quotes

> [William Maxwell's my favorite North American writer, I think. And an Irish writer who used to write for 'The New Yorker' called Maeve Brennan,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-munro/william-maxwell-s-my-favorite-north-american-writer-i-think-and-an/)

[Alice Munro](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-munro/)

> [On stage, you can bring all those strong emotions that you don't have the opportunity to live. You don't want to die for love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sylvie-guillem/on-stage-you-can-bring-all-those-strong-emotions-that-you-don-t-have/)

[Sylvie Guillem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sylvie-guillem/)

> [You will never fully understand how much you mean to me, because there are no amount of words that can begin to describe my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-will-never-fully-understand-how-much-you-mean-to-me-because-there/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Of course I like you. It's because I like you I don't wanna be with you. It's a complicated emotion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marlin/of-course-i-like-you-it-s-because-i-like-you-i-don-t-wanna-be-with/)

Marlin

> [In discovering books, you became free to explore the full range of human motives, desires, secrets, and lies. All my life, people have scolded…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betsy-lerner/in-discovering-books-you-became-free-to-explore-the-full-range-of/)

[Betsy Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betsy-lerner/)

> [What we're supposed to do as actors is be able to portray real human beings and emotions. And if you grow up in this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-browning/what-we-re-supposed-to-do-as-actors-is-be-able-to-portray-real-human/)

[Emily Browning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-browning/)

> [It definitely helps to have the acting experience going into singing, because when you're singing, you have to portray the emotion you were feeling…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryan-newman/it-definitely-helps-to-have-the-acting-experience-going-into-singing/)

Ryan Newman

> [Instead of asking a girl how she feels, try looking through her recently listened to songs. The lyrics are the answer to all your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/instead-of-asking-a-girl-how-she-feels-try-looking-through-her/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [My mind has trouble processing all the emotions I feel.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/my-mind-has-trouble-processing-all-the-emotions-i-feel/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Its a lack of clarity that creates chaos and frustration. Those emotions are poison to any living goal.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-maraboli/its-a-lack-of-clarity-that-creates-chaos-and-frustration-those/)

[Steve Maraboli](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-maraboli/)

> [For war to man, like childbirth to women, is simplifying in its emotions and activities. All the real problems of life can be put…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pearl-s-buck/for-war-to-man-like-childbirth-to-women-is-simplifying-in-its/)

[Pearl S. Buck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pearl-s-buck/)

> [“When love carries us away on its brittle wings, we are too intoxicated to comprehend its power. We just want to soar and feel…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/balroop-singh/when-love-carries-us-away-on-its-brittle-wings-we-are-too-intoxicated/)

[Balroop Singh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/balroop-singh/)

> [God, help me to focus on Truth instead of the trial. Help me to give thanks instead of giving into fear. Help me to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/whitney-daugherty/god-help-me-to-focus-on-truth-instead-of-the-trial-help-me-to-give/)

Whitney Daugherty

> [Love is an ocean of emotions entirely sorrounded by expensee..](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/love-is-an-ocean-of-emotions-entirely-sorrounded-by-expensee/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [I grew up in a blue-collar neighborhood and was raised by a man who did not emote, ever... I always cry at movies, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-quick/i-grew-up-in-a-blue-collar-neighborhood-and-was-raised-by-a-man-who/)

[Matthew Quick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-quick/)

[Browse all 4,415 Emotions quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/emotions/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“Being able to restrain my emotions isn’t a great victory—it’s the pitiful proof of lost love.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Amy Tan"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/being-able-to-restrain-my-emotions-isn-t-a-great-victory-it-s-the/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Emotions"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/being-able-to-restrain-my-emotions-isn-t-a-great-victory-it-s-the/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1fd/amy-tan-730_lost-love_being-able-to-restrain-my-emotions-isn-t_1397097.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1fd/amy-tan-730_lost-love_being-able-to-restrain-my-emotions-isn-t_1397097.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1fd/amy-tan-730_lost-love_being-able-to-restrain-my-emotions-isn-t_1397097.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“Being able to restrain my emotions isn’t a great victory—it’s the pitiful proof of lost love.” — Amy Tan",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Amy Tan",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“Being able to restrain my emotions...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/being-able-to-restrain-my-emotions-isn-t-a-great-victory-it-s-the/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/being-able-to-restrain-my-emotions-isn-t-a-great-victory-it-s-the/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
