--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Healthy boundaries are important, but you…" description: "\"Healthy boundaries are important, but you may be building a brick wall when a picket fence would do.\" — Amy Dickinson" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/064/amy-dickinson-8789_boundaries_healthy-boundaries-are-important-but-you_2002519.jpg" --- # Healthy boundaries are important, but you may be building… ![“Healthy boundaries are important, but you may be building a brick wall when a picket fence would do.” quote by Amy Dickinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/064/amy-dickinson-8789_boundaries_healthy-boundaries-are-important-but-you_2002519.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/064/amy-dickinson-8789_boundaries_healthy-boundaries-are-important-but-you_2002519.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/064/amy-dickinson-8789_boundaries_healthy-boundaries-are-important-but-you_2002519.jpg) > “Healthy boundaries are important, but you may be building a brick wall when a picket fence would do.” [Amy Dickinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-dickinson/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Boundaries protect us, but overly rigid limits can isolate; sometimes a softer approach works better. **In simple terms:** Set limits, but stay flexible. Key Takeaway Balance firmness with openness. Themes relationships personal growth communication Mood reflective cautious Type advice self‑help When to use this quote - family dynamics - workplace - friendships - online interactions Key Concepts boundary setting empathy assertiveness Questions to Reflect On - When have you built a wall instead of a fence? - How can you soften a boundary without losing respect? A Different Perspective Too much rigidity may damage connections. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Boundaries](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/boundaries/) [Boundaries Important](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/boundaries-important-895313/) [Brick wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/brick-wall/) [Bricks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bricks/) [Building](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/building/) [Fence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fence/) [Health](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/health/) [Healthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/healthy/) [Healthy boundaries](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/healthy-boundaries/) [Important](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/important/) [May](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/may/) [Picket Fence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/picket-fence-877920/) [Picket fences](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/picket-fences/) [Wall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wall/) [Wall Picket](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wall-picket-3531573/) [Women](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/women/) ## Related quotes > [I’d like to have a nice home set up, with a couple of dogs, and a fence, white picket fence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-starr/i-d-like-to-have-a-nice-home-set-up-with-a-couple-of-dogs-and-a-fence/) [Martin Starr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-starr/) > [“Establishing clear boundaries is a necessary part of living an authentic life. And only you get to decide what your boundaries are. It’s important…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-stabile/establishing-clear-boundaries-is-a-necessary-part-of-living-an/) [Scott Stabile](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-stabile/) > [So it seems that because of every syndrome and disorder we've invented in the past twenty years, the Los Angeles Times reported that 63%…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/so-it-seems-that-because-of-every-syndrome-and-disorder-we-ve/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [“Beyond the picket fences and the oil wells, the happy endings, and the fairy tales, is the reality of shattered lives and broken dreams.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-mcgraw/beyond-the-picket-fences-and-the-oil-wells-the-happy-endings-and-the/) [Tim McGraw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-mcgraw/) > [“ONE CAN'T BUILD LITTLE WHITE PICKET FENCES TO KEEP NIGHTMARES OUT. -Anne Sexton”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kimberly-mccreight/one-can-t-build-little-white-picket-fences-to-keep-nightmares-out-2/) [Kimberly McCreight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kimberly-mccreight/) > [I was trying my damnedest to lead a conventional life, for that was how I was brought up, and it was what my husband…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-sexton/i-was-trying-my-damnedest-to-lead-a-conventional-life-for-that-was/) [Anne Sexton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-sexton/) > [Everyone gives 'Picket Fences' credit for being so willing to delve into issues that now would be no big deal. But it was then.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/holly-marie-combs/everyone-gives-picket-fences-credit-for-being-so-willing-to-delve/) [Holly Marie Combs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/holly-marie-combs/) > [Whether the borders that divide us are picket fences or national boundaries, we are all neighbors in a global community.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-carter/whether-the-borders-that-divide-us-are-picket-fences-or-national/) [Jimmy Carter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-carter/) > [All I wanted was a little piece of life, to be married, to have children… I was trying my damnedest to lead a conventional…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-sexton/all-i-wanted-was-a-little-piece-of-life-to-be-married-to-have/) [Anne Sexton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-sexton/) > [Ever wonder why people are so determined to reach for white picket fences, supposed normalcy, a nuclear family? Well, try growing up without one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-eddy/ever-wonder-why-people-are-so-determined-to-reach-for-white-picket/) [Chuck Eddy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-eddy/) > [“I want to picket white picket fences.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-want-to-picket-white-picket-fences/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [I've always loved the drama and the creating of a role and performance and all that comes with that, but I then also kind…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-kidman/i-ve-always-loved-the-drama-and-the-creating-of-a-role-and/) [Nicole Kidman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-kidman/) > [And we carry onWhen our lives come undoneWe carry onCause there's promise in the morning sunWe carry onAs the dark surrenders to the dawnWe…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-mcgraw/and-we-carry-onwhen-our-lives-come-undonewe-carry-oncause-there-s/) [Tim McGraw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-mcgraw/) > [My childhood was elegant homes, tree lined streets, the milkman, building backyard forts, droning airplanes, blue skies, picket fences, green grass, cherry trees. Middle…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-lynch/my-childhood-was-elegant-homes-tree-lined-streets-the-milkman/) [David Lynch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-lynch/) > [One can't build little white picket fences to keep nightmares out.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-sexton/one-can-t-build-little-white-picket-fences-to-keep-nightmares-out/) [Anne Sexton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-sexton/) ## More by Amy Dickinson > [Sometimes the way through someone's tough outer shell is to do something obvious, thoughtful and sweet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-dickinson/sometimes-the-way-through-someone-s-tough-outer-shell-is-to-do/) [Amy Dickinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-dickinson/) > ["Nags" nag because they feel they aren't being heard.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-dickinson/nags-nag-because-they-feel-they-aren-t-being-heard/) [Amy Dickinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-dickinson/) > [If you turn the heat down on the relationship, she will soften, the tension will lessen, and she will eventually inch closer to you.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-dickinson/if-you-turn-the-heat-down-on-the-relationship-she-will-soften-the/) [Amy Dickinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-dickinson/) > [You must give and receive love only when doing so doesn't hurt others. That's the ethical path, and you should gain strength from walking…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-dickinson/you-must-give-and-receive-love-only-when-doing-so-doesn-t-hurt-others/) [Amy Dickinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-dickinson/) > [If you feel guilty about not "playing nice," then you could easily alleviate your guilt by playing nice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-dickinson/if-you-feel-guilty-about-not-playing-nice-then-you-could-easily/) [Amy Dickinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-dickinson/) > [Perspective is the enemy of long-lost love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-dickinson/perspective-is-the-enemy-of-long-lost-love/) [Amy Dickinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-dickinson/) > [People don't change when they don't acknowledge their actions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-dickinson/people-don-t-change-when-they-don-t-acknowledge-their-actions/) [Amy Dickinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-dickinson/) > [When you are wondering whether to say something negative about someone - even if it is true - the best rule to follow is,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-dickinson/when-you-are-wondering-whether-to-say-something-negative-about/) [Amy Dickinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-dickinson/) > [Life is easier when you are comfortable in your own skin.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-dickinson/life-is-easier-when-you-are-comfortable-in-your-own-skin/) [Amy Dickinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-dickinson/) > [Groveling for connection from someone who compares you to Hitler is not good for a person's self-esteem.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-dickinson/groveling-for-connection-from-someone-who-compares-you-to-hitler-is/) [Amy Dickinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-dickinson/) > [Friendships can survive after massive disappointment, but only if both parties are honest with one another.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-dickinson/friendships-can-survive-after-massive-disappointment-but-only-if-both/) [Amy Dickinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-dickinson/) > [Bullies often act out by marshaling aggression to cover up for insecurity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-dickinson/bullies-often-act-out-by-marshaling-aggression-to-cover-up-for/) [Amy Dickinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-dickinson/) > [Have you ever noticed how bored people are also boring?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-dickinson/have-you-ever-noticed-how-bored-people-are-also-boring/) [Amy Dickinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-dickinson/) > [When the choice is between a demanding relationship and a vintage pickup truck, I'll choose the truck every time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-dickinson/when-the-choice-is-between-a-demanding-relationship-and-a-vintage/) [Amy Dickinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-dickinson/) > [Needy and boring parents tend to have needy and bored children.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-dickinson/needy-and-boring-parents-tend-to-have-needy-and-bored-children/) [Amy Dickinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-dickinson/) [Explore all 78 Amy Dickinson quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-dickinson/) ## More Boundaries quotes > [I think the next 50 years are going to present the human race with challenges that so far exceed the limitations of geopolitical boundaries…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zachary-quinto/i-think-the-next-50-years-are-going-to-present-the-human-race-with/) [Zachary Quinto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zachary-quinto/) > [A man could be a lover and defender of the wilderness without ever in his lifetime leaving the boundaries of asphalt, powerlines, and right-angled…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-abbey/a-man-could-be-a-lover-and-defender-of-the-wilderness-without-ever-in/) [Edward Abbey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-abbey/) > [God's Word does provide life lessons to teach us how to live. And it gives us beautiful poetry that gives voice to our human…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rothschild/god-s-word-does-provide-life-lessons-to-teach-us-how-to-live-and-it/) [Jennifer Rothschild](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rothschild/) > [While the world of reality has its limits, the world of your imagination is without boundaries](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wayne-dyer/while-the-world-of-reality-has-its-limits-the-world-of-your/) [Wayne Dyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wayne-dyer/) > [There's always that discussion about fiction about how do you market it - these are books for boys, these are books for girls, these…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/l-a-weatherly/there-s-always-that-discussion-about-fiction-about-how-do-you-market/) [L.A. Weatherly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/l-a-weatherly/) > [... informed ignorance provides the natural state of mind for research scientists at the ever-shifting frontiers of knowledge. People who believe themselves ignorant of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-degrasse-tyson/informed-ignorance-provides-the-natural-state-of-mind-for-research/) [Neil deGrasse Tyson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-degrasse-tyson/) > [I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/i-never-go-anywhere-or-do-anything-that-transports-me-outside-the/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [As a kid, in the Runaways, I would see the interviewers start to ask about our personal lives and what we did — and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-jett/as-a-kid-in-the-runaways-i-would-see-the-interviewers-start-to-ask/) [Joan Jett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-jett/) > [Understanding science and pushing the boundaries of science is what makes me immensely satisfied.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-gates/understanding-science-and-pushing-the-boundaries-of-science-is-what/) [Bill Gates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-gates/) > [A language possesses utility only insofar as it can construct conventional boundaries. A language of no boundaries is no language at all, and thus…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ken-wilber/a-language-possesses-utility-only-insofar-as-it-can-construct/) [Ken Wilber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ken-wilber/) > [“Let us not subside into a single mandatory way of thinking or feeling, immersed by a spirit of self-gratification. But let’s dig into the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erik-pevernagie/let-us-not-subside-into-a-single-mandatory-way-of-thinking-or-feeling/) [Erik Pevernagie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erik-pevernagie/) > [The question of boundaries is a major question of the Jewish people because the Jews are the great experts of crossing boundaries. They have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-b-yehoshua/the-question-of-boundaries-is-a-major-question-of-the-jewish-people/) [A. B. Yehoshua](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-b-yehoshua/) > [Working against a restriction - for me - often produces greater things than getting rid of all boundaries.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-lord/working-against-a-restriction-for-me-often-produces-greater-things/) [Jon Lord](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-lord/) > [That's what all art's about - a sense of moving away from boundaries that you can't in real life. Like a dancer is always…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-bush/that-s-what-all-art-s-about-a-sense-of-moving-away-from-boundaries/) [Kate Bush](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-bush/) > [The boundaries between contemporary art and cinema are so rigid. It's unbelievable. The film critics don't know my artwork and the art world doesn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/agnes-varda/the-boundaries-between-contemporary-art-and-cinema-are-so-rigid-it-s/) [Agnes Varda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/agnes-varda/) [Browse all 2,012 Boundaries quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/boundaries/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Healthy boundaries are important, but you may be building a brick wall when a picket fence would do.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Amy Dickinson" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-dickinson/healthy-boundaries-are-important-but-you-may-be-building-a-brick-wall/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Boundaries" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-dickinson/healthy-boundaries-are-important-but-you-may-be-building-a-brick-wall/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/064/amy-dickinson-8789_boundaries_healthy-boundaries-are-important-but-you_2002519.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/064/amy-dickinson-8789_boundaries_healthy-boundaries-are-important-but-you_2002519.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/064/amy-dickinson-8789_boundaries_healthy-boundaries-are-important-but-you_2002519.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Healthy boundaries are important, but you may be building a brick wall when a picket fence would do.” — Amy Dickinson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Amy Dickinson", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-dickinson/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "Healthy boundaries are important, but you...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-dickinson/healthy-boundaries-are-important-but-you-may-be-building-a-brick-wall/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-dickinson/healthy-boundaries-are-important-but-you-may-be-building-a-brick-wall/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```