--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: What really has helped me through my own…" description: "\"What really has helped me through my own breakups has been learning tools to self-soothe, reframe, and forgive, and how to channel negative energy into..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/691/amy-chan-22921_breakup_what-really-has-helped-me-through-my-own_3044084.jpg" --- # What really has helped me through my own breakups has been… ![“What really has helped me through my own breakups has been learning tools to self-soothe, reframe, and forgive, and how to channel negative energy into positive. Resilience is a muscle. Learning how to cope and process painful emotions is a muscle. And I've been through enough ups and downs to…” quote by Amy Chan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/691/amy-chan-22921_breakup_what-really-has-helped-me-through-my-own_3044084.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/691/amy-chan-22921_breakup_what-really-has-helped-me-through-my-own_3044084.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/691/amy-chan-22921_breakup_what-really-has-helped-me-through-my-own_3044084.jpg) > “What really has helped me through my own breakups has been learning tools to self-soothe, reframe, and forgive, and how to channel negative energy into positive. Resilience is a muscle. Learning how to cope and process painful emotions is a muscle. And I've been through enough ups and downs to know that you have a choice. You can use breakups, which are pivotal points in life, as a catalyst for growth, or you can choose to have it make you jaded and more fear-based.” [Amy Chan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-chan/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Breakups can be turned into growth opportunities by learning self‑soothing, reframing, and channeling negative energy positively. **In simple terms:** Use breakups to grow, not become jaded. Key Takeaway Turn pain into personal development. Themes resilience self‑compassion growth emotional intelligence Mood hopeful empowering Type advice philosophical When to use this quote - breakup recovery - self‑help workshops - journaling - mindfulness practice Key Concepts psychology neuroplasticity Questions to Reflect On - What tools help you reframe pain? - Can you see a breakup as a catalyst? A Different Perspective Growth requires conscious effort, not just passive endurance. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Breakup](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/breakup/) [Breakups Learning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/breakups-learning-5031342/) [Choices](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choices/) [Emotion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/emotion/) [Emotions Muscle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/emotions-muscle-5031344/) [Energy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/energy/) [Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/enough/) [Forgiving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgiving/) [Growth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/growth/) [Heartbreak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/heartbreak/) [Helped Breakups](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/helped-breakups-5031341/) [Negative](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/negative/) [Negative energy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/negative-energy/) [Painful](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/painful/) [Resilience](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/resilience/) [Resilience Muscle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/resilience-muscle-1520493/) [Ups & downs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ups-downs/) [Ups and downs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ups-and-downs/) [Use Breakups](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/use-breakups-5031343/) ## Related quotes > [“In our American quest for comfort, our resilience muscle has been weakened. In our desire to have things "quick and easy," we have atrophied…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bethany-haley-williams/in-our-american-quest-for-comfort-our-resilience-muscle-has-been/) [Bethany Haley Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bethany-haley-williams/) > [You need so much energy and encouragement to write that if someone says something negative, some of that energy goes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-carol-oates/you-need-so-much-energy-and-encouragement-to-write-that-if-someone/) [Joyce Carol Oates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-carol-oates/) > [You get onto the stage; you can shout and express yourself. Your negative energy gets consumed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jaideep-ahlawat/you-get-onto-the-stage-you-can-shout-and-express-yourself-your/) [Jaideep Ahlawat](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jaideep-ahlawat/) > [It is very important to always hold the thought of an enlightened teacher in your mind in a very positive way. When you direct…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/it-is-very-important-to-always-hold-the-thought-of-an-enlightened/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [I grew up in low-income areas and I've seen people take negative energy and just accept it. They give into and end up living…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lamarcus-aldridge/i-grew-up-in-low-income-areas-and-i-ve-seen-people-take-negative/) [LaMarcus Aldridge](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lamarcus-aldridge/) > [HATE has 4 letters, But so does LOVE. Enemies has 7 letters, But so does FRIENDS. LYING has 5 letters, But so does TRUTH.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/hate-has-4-letters-but-so-does-love-enemies-has-7-letters-but-so-does/) [Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/) > [I can't pay mind to the negative energy, because I'd just be giving more power to it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-can-t-pay-mind-to-the-negative-energy-because-i-d-just-be-giving/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Most of the time, excuses are made out of pure laziness. For people who are constantly making excuses...the negative energy it takes to do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/most-of-the-time-excuses-are-made-out-of-pure-laziness-for-people-who/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [The reason why I speak my mind, and the reason why I get aggressive is because I believe that when negative energy is directed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabe-saporta/the-reason-why-i-speak-my-mind-and-the-reason-why-i-get-aggressive-is/) [Gabe Saporta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabe-saporta/) > [I have a specific set of, I have a specific sort of negative energies to deal with that might be specific to me, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sean-lennon/i-have-a-specific-set-of-i-have-a-specific-sort-of-negative-energies/) [Sean Lennon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sean-lennon/) > [The older I get the more I try not to waste my time on negative energy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christine-baranski/the-older-i-get-the-more-i-try-not-to-waste-my-time-on-negative-energy/) [Christine Baranski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christine-baranski/) > [It would take a civilization far more advanced than ours, unbelievably advanced, to begin to manipulate negative energy to create gateways to the past.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michio-kaku/it-would-take-a-civilization-far-more-advanced-than-ours-unbelievably/) [Michio Kaku](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michio-kaku/) > [Who do you think of first in the morning? Good manipulators do it in the dream plane. The morning practice of meditation increases the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/who-do-you-think-of-first-in-the-morning-good-manipulators-do-it-in/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [It's one thing to vent and rant from time to time. It's okay to be angry BUT when you let that negative energy consume…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/it-s-one-thing-to-vent-and-rant-from-time-to-time-it-s-okay-to-be/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) ## More by Amy Chan > [You don't achieve greatness in life being surrounded by mediocre people with mediocre values. Choose your company wisely.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-chan/you-don-t-achieve-greatness-in-life-being-surrounded-by-mediocre/) [Amy Chan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-chan/) > [If you want to know someone, just look at who they choose to spend their time with.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-chan/if-you-want-to-know-someone-just-look-at-who-they-choose-to-spend/) [Amy Chan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-chan/) > [Chemistry does not guarantee compatibility.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-chan/chemistry-does-not-guarantee-compatibility/) [Amy Chan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-chan/) > [There's a great difference between being positive and being delusional.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-chan/there-s-a-great-difference-between-being-positive-and-being-delusional/) [Amy Chan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-chan/) > [Oftentimes, we get advice from people who are not equipped to give it, and it does more harm than good.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-chan/oftentimes-we-get-advice-from-people-who-are-not-equipped-to-give-it/) [Amy Chan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-chan/) > [Spend less time shopping, more time traveling.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-chan/spend-less-time-shopping-more-time-traveling/) [Amy Chan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-chan/) > [I've learned through the years how to base my identity and sense of self-worth on myself and not others. I've learned the most critical…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-chan/i-ve-learned-through-the-years-how-to-base-my-identity-and-sense-of/) [Amy Chan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-chan/) > [I've learned that each time you go through a breakup, the pain isn't any more or less intense or hard, but the way you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-chan/i-ve-learned-that-each-time-you-go-through-a-breakup-the-pain-isn-t/) [Amy Chan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-chan/) > [You may not be able to change the events of your history, but you can change the story you've attached to those events.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-chan/you-may-not-be-able-to-change-the-events-of-your-history-but-you-can/) [Amy Chan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-chan/) > [People will become what you think of them. See them for their beauty and they will rise up. See them for their darkness, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-chan/people-will-become-what-you-think-of-them-see-them-for-their-beauty/) [Amy Chan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-chan/) > [Closing the door to toxicity is the most effective way to make space for new opportunity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-chan/closing-the-door-to-toxicity-is-the-most-effective-way-to-make-space/) [Amy Chan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-chan/) > [Integrity is when your good intentions meet your actions - on a consistent basis.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-chan/integrity-is-when-your-good-intentions-meet-your-actions-on-a/) [Amy Chan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-chan/) > [Gratitude is a choice. Happiness is an attitude.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-chan/gratitude-is-a-choice-happiness-is-an-attitude/) [Amy Chan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-chan/) > [Try to look at the bigger picture. The majority of people you date will not be your destination. They were meant to be a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-chan/try-to-look-at-the-bigger-picture-the-majority-of-people-you-date/) [Amy Chan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-chan/) > [Get in the habit of writing down three things you're grateful for every day. Studies show that in a two-minute span of time, done…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-chan/get-in-the-habit-of-writing-down-three-things-you-re-grateful-for/) [Amy Chan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-chan/) [Explore all 26 Amy Chan quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-chan/) ## More Breakup quotes > [After a bad relationship and you think life is over when its far from, pick your self up and show the person who let…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-mccarty/after-a-bad-relationship-and-you-think-life-is-over-when-its-far-from/) [Kevin McCarty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-mccarty/) > [ \[attempts to save the relationship on the phone but said the wrong word while talking\] It didn't come out right, but I wasn't in… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paritoshik-sharma/attempts-to-save-the-relationship-on-the-phone-but-said-the-wrong/) [Paritoshik Sharma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paritoshik-sharma/) > [If you leave someone for another person, don't be surprised if that person leaves you for someone else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-you-leave-someone-for-another-person-don-t-be-surprised-if-that/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [It's fucking terrifying that no matter how many promises they made, no matter how long you've been together, someone can get up & walk…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larissa-derrah/it-s-fucking-terrifying-that-no-matter-how-many-promises-they-made-no/) [Larissa Derrah](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larissa-derrah/) > [If it's too hard, walk away. There are a million other people out there who won't make you feel bad!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-it-s-too-hard-walk-away-there-are-a-million-other-people-out-there/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Learning to trust is hard for many people, especially those who have been through bad break ups and who have experienced heartache from situations…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/learning-to-trust-is-hard-for-many-people-especially-those-who-have/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [It changes you a little bit every time you either break someone's heart or get your heart broken.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amanda-seyfried/it-changes-you-a-little-bit-every-time-you-either-break-someone-s/) [Amanda Seyfried](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amanda-seyfried/) > [“Dry your eyes mate, I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts, but you’ve got to walk away now,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-skinner/dry-your-eyes-mate-i-know-you-want-to-make-her-see-how-much-this-pain/) [Mike Skinner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-skinner/) > [You see, at the beginning we weren't fighters. We weren't yellers or throwers, even if we eventually came to be. It would take time…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinaw-mengestu/you-see-at-the-beginning-we-weren-t-fighters-we-weren-t-yellers-or/) [Dinaw Mengestu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinaw-mengestu/) > [The pain experienced during a breakup is as individual as the millions of people who go through it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tigress-luv/the-pain-experienced-during-a-breakup-is-as-individual-as-the/) [Tigress Luv](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tigress-luv/) > [Wishing you knew.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/wishing-you-knew/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Feeling addicted to an ex makes letting them go excruciatingly hard even when you rationally want to move on.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dr-cortney-warren/feeling-addicted-to-an-ex-makes-letting-them-go-excruciatingly-hard/) [Dr. Cortney Warren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dr-cortney-warren/) > [I take a step back, and let you go. I told you I'm not bulletproof; Now you know.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/taylor-swift/i-take-a-step-back-and-let-you-go-i-told-you-i-m-not-bulletproof-now/) [Taylor Swift](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/taylor-swift/) > [Break ups are painful, but if initiated at the right time can fuel one's sense of optimism.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dov-davidoff/break-ups-are-painful-but-if-initiated-at-the-right-time-can-fuel-one/) [Dov Davidoff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dov-davidoff/) > [If they walk out of your life they're telling you to move on because they're not in love with you. It hurts, but you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/if-they-walk-out-of-your-life-they-re-telling-you-to-move-on-because/) [SONYA PARKER](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/) [Browse all 1,846 Breakup quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/breakup/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "What really has helped me through my own breakups has been learning tools to self-soothe, reframe, and forgive, and how to channel negative energy into positive. Resilience is a muscle. Learning how to cope and process painful emotions is a muscle. And I've been through enough ups and downs to know that you have a choice. 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