--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I have been so afraid that our friendship…" description: "\"“I have been so afraid that our friendship will not survive Clare's death. I can sense this in your voice, too, when we talk. . . . When I talk to Mark..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b00/amy-alznauer-72739_death_i-have-been-so-afraid-that-our-friendshi_169215.jpg" --- # I have been so afraid that our friendship will not survive… ![“I have been so afraid that our friendship will not survive Clare's death. I can sense this in your voice, too, when we talk. . . . When I talk to Mark about this, he tries to console me with Aristotle (I hope you are smiling). Aristotle, he tells me, describes three types of friendship: friendship…” quote by Amy Alznauer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b00/amy-alznauer-72739_death_i-have-been-so-afraid-that-our-friendshi_169215.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b00/amy-alznauer-72739_death_i-have-been-so-afraid-that-our-friendshi_169215.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b00/amy-alznauer-72739_death_i-have-been-so-afraid-that-our-friendshi_169215.jpg) > ““I have been so afraid that our friendship will not survive Clare's death. I can sense this in your voice, too, when we talk. . . . When I talk to Mark about this, he tries to console me with Aristotle (I hope you are smiling). Aristotle, he tells me, describes three types of friendship: friendship based on utility, on pleasure, and on virtue (the pursuit of good). The third type is the highest and most stable form. Mark says that we pursue the good, and that sharing new motherhood alone could not possibly replace that. Maybe right now we are confusing our friendship with a friendship of pleasure, since we have given each other so much of it (hilarity and clogs and dreams of Italy). And we are worried since these friendships fade when pleasure fades (and Clare has taken so much pleasure with her). But surely that's not all we've shared. The highest friendship, Aristotle wrote, 'requires time and familiarity; for, as the proverb says, it is impossible for men to know each other well until they have consumed together much salt, nor can they accept each other and be friends till each has shown himself dear and trustworthy to the other.' I guess we are now in the phase of eating much salt. . . . I am not sure what it means to eat much salt, but it doesn't sound pleasant. It makes me think of tears rolling down our faces into our mouths. . . . Yet this time is not merely that. When I see you or read your letters, I am suddenly made happy. I see that I still love you, take pleasure in your ways, and yearn for your good and for mine. If this load of salt can’t kill our pleasure or desire for good, then I doubt anything can. And maybe this very salt will make us all the more dear and trustworthy to each other. With much love and salt, Amy”” Amy Alznauer ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The speaker fears losing a deep friendship after a shared loss, reflecting on Aristotle’s three friendship types and hoping their bond, tested by grief, will become stronger through shared hardship. **In simple terms:** Friendship may be tested by loss, but shared hardship can deepen trust. Key Takeaway Embrace shared challenges to strengthen trust. Themes grief friendship philosophy trust loss Mood reflective hopeful Type philosophical emotional inspirational When to use this quote - grieving a friend - supporting a bereaved partner - navigating shared loss - building deeper trust Key Concepts Aristotelian friendship virtue ethics emotional resilience Questions to Reflect On - How can shared hardship deepen trust? - What actions nurture virtue‑based friendship? A Different Perspective Friendship may not survive if underlying trust isn’t rebuilt. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Death](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/death/) [Friend](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friend/) [Friendship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friendship/) [Friendships](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friendships/) ## Related quotes > [“The quest of the Inner Ring will break your hearts unless you break it. 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