--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Everyone expected Emily to take care and…" description: "\"“Everyone expected Emily to take care and take charge. It had always been this way. When her mother was sick, she'd filled out her own permission slips..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/40b/allegra-goodman-11384_big-sister_everyone-expected-emily-to-take-care-and_2125504.jpg" --- # Everyone expected Emily to take care and take charge. It… ![“Everyone expected Emily to take care and take charge. It had always been this way. When her mother was sick, she'd filled out her own permission slips for school. When Jess signed up to bring home the kindergarten rabbit for the weekend, Emily took care of it. 'Look at Emily taking care of her…” quote by Allegra Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/40b/allegra-goodman-11384_big-sister_everyone-expected-emily-to-take-care-and_2125504.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/40b/allegra-goodman-11384_big-sister_everyone-expected-emily-to-take-care-and_2125504.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/40b/allegra-goodman-11384_big-sister_everyone-expected-emily-to-take-care-and_2125504.jpg) > ““Everyone expected Emily to take care and take charge. It had always been this way. When her mother was sick, she'd filled out her own permission slips for school. When Jess signed up to bring home the kindergarten rabbit for the weekend, Emily took care of it. 'Look at Emily taking care of her sister,' her New Jersey aunts said to one another after the memorial service. There were no relatives from England. Her English grandparents had died before Emily was born, but the New Jersey aunts were full of admiration. 'What an angel. Look how good she is,' her father's sisters said. Emily knew she was not an angel, but the more she doubted, the better she behaved. At work she was the peacemaker. She wasn't just the chief executive officer of the company; she was the adult when her partners behaved like children.”” [Allegra Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allegra-goodman/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Emily feels pressured by family expectations to be a caretaker, leading her to overextend herself and doubt her authenticity. **In simple terms:** Emily overworks to meet others' expectations. Key Takeaway Set healthy boundaries and seek self‑validation. Themes family pressure responsibility self‑doubt gender roles Mood reflective empathetic Type narrative inspirational When to use this quote - family gatherings - workplace leadership - caregiver burnout - personal decision‑making Key Concepts caretaking identity expectation Questions to Reflect On - What expectations do you feel compelled to fulfill? - How can you balance care for others with self‑care? A Different Perspective Constant self‑sacrifice can erode personal well‑being. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Big sister](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/big-sister/) [Caretaker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/caretaker/) [Memorial service](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/memorial-service/) [Peacemaker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/peacemaker/) ## Related quotes > [“Don't be silly,” Linda said. “Emily knew all the time.” Emily pulled an old flowerpot out of her way. “Let's look for the box,”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-reilly-giff/don-t-be-silly-linda-said-emily-knew-all-the-time-emily-pulled-an-old/) [Patricia Reilly Giff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-reilly-giff/) > [“Richard had sold Gillian's piano. He'd offered to ship it out to California, but neither Jess nor Emily played. Emily had quit her lessons…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allegra-goodman/richard-had-sold-gillian-s-piano-he-d-offered-to-ship-it-out-to/) [Allegra Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allegra-goodman/) > [“Orion was the one Emily knew well. He had been Emily's childhood friend when, for several summers, they attended CTY, the Center for Talented…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allegra-goodman/orion-was-the-one-emily-knew-well-he-had-been-emily-s-childhood/) [Allegra Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allegra-goodman/) > [“I did think about a Ph.D. in computer science, but this is a time in industry where theory and practice are coming together in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allegra-goodman/i-did-think-about-a-ph-d-in-computer-science-but-this-is-a-time-in/) [Allegra Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allegra-goodman/) > [“The sisters' voices were almost identical, laughing mezzos tuned in childhood to the same pitch and timbre. To the ear, they were twins; to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allegra-goodman/the-sisters-voices-were-almost-identical-laughing-mezzos-tuned-in/) [Allegra Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allegra-goodman/) > [“She was surprised because she was Emily, and she did not share Jonathan's frank assessment of coworkers as losers, whiners, bozos, sharks. No, she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allegra-goodman/she-was-surprised-because-she-was-emily-and-she-did-not-share/) [Allegra Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allegra-goodman/) > [“Emily knew she was going to cry. She tried to avert it with a childhood trick that had sometimes worked before - pressing both…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-yates/emily-knew-she-was-going-to-cry-she-tried-to-avert-it-with-a/) [Richard Yates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-yates/) > [“If you please, Great-Aunt Nancy," said Emily deliberately, "I don't like to be told I look like other people. I look just like myself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/l-m-montgomery/if-you-please-great-aunt-nancy-said-emily-deliberately-i-don-t-like/) [L.M. Montgomery](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/l-m-montgomery/) > [“Ten good lines out of four hundred, Emily—comparatively good, that is—and all the rest balderdash—balderdash, Emily." "I—suppose so," said Emily faintly. Her eyes brimmed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/l-m-montgomery/ten-good-lines-out-of-four-hundred-emily-comparatively-good-that-is/) [L.M. Montgomery](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/l-m-montgomery/) > [“My dear sir,’ said Emily, timidly, ‘what mean those tears?’—they speak, I fear, another language—they plead for me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-radcliffe/my-dear-sir-said-emily-timidly-what-mean-those-tears-they-speak-i/) [Ann Radcliffe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-radcliffe/) > [“Pennsylvania." The boys nodded appreciatively, as if Abby had said Emily was from Naughty Dirty Sex Land”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sara-shepard/pennsylvania-the-boys-nodded-appreciatively-as-if-abby-had-said-emily/) [Sara Shepard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sara-shepard/) > [“Victorian and touchingly respectable. “I have been crying,” confessed Lady Agatha. “I was afraid so, Lady Agatha,” said Emily.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frances-hodgson-burnett/victorian-and-touchingly-respectable-i-have-been-crying-confessed/) [Frances Hodgson Burnett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frances-hodgson-burnett/) > [In elementary school, I think all my report cards said, 'Emily plays well alone.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-hampshire/in-elementary-school-i-think-all-my-report-cards-said-emily-plays/) [Emily Hampshire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-hampshire/) > [“It was night. There was a drizzle, so Emily's black Japanese umbrella was up. The two were close beneath it, walking in long strides,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-amanda-salmonson/it-was-night-there-was-a-drizzle-so-emily-s-black-japanese-umbrella/) [Jessica Amanda Salmonson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-amanda-salmonson/) > [“Tell me this--if you knew you would be poor as a church mouse all your life--if you knew you'd never have a line published--would…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucy-maud-montgomery/tell-me-this-if-you-knew-you-would-be-poor-as-a-church-mouse-all-your/) [Lucy Maud Montgomery](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lucy-maud-montgomery/) ## More by Allegra Goodman > [“On the third day, she smelled the fruit as soon as she came in. She followed the scent to the kitchen, and the peach…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allegra-goodman/on-the-third-day-she-smelled-the-fruit-as-soon-as-she-came-in-she/) [Allegra Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allegra-goodman/) > [“She herself vacillated when it came to belief. She did not particularly believe in God. Or, rather, she didn't believe in a particular God.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allegra-goodman/she-herself-vacillated-when-it-came-to-belief-she-did-not/) [Allegra Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allegra-goodman/) > [Know your literary tradition, savor it, steal from it, but when you sit down to write, forget about worshiping greatness and fetishizing masterpieces.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allegra-goodman/know-your-literary-tradition-savor-it-steal-from-it-but-when-you-sit/) [Allegra Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allegra-goodman/) > [“Sandra turned to the page with the title "Toklas' Hashich Fudge." The original hashish brownies. 'Peppercorns, nutmeg, cinnamon, coriander, stone dates, dried figs, shelled…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allegra-goodman/sandra-turned-to-the-page-with-the-title-toklas-hashich-fudge-the/) [Allegra Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allegra-goodman/) > [“Giddy with each other and the wine, they strolled outside through the Presidio, the old fort now housing restaurants and galleries. Jess explained that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allegra-goodman/giddy-with-each-other-and-the-wine-they-strolled-outside-through-the/) [Allegra Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allegra-goodman/) > [“How sad, he thought, that desire found new objects but did not abate, that when it came to longing there was no end.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allegra-goodman/how-sad-he-thought-that-desire-found-new-objects-but-did-not-abate/) [Allegra Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allegra-goodman/) > [“There were three wedding cakes, curious and historical but tasty, each labeled with a calligraphed card: "Plumb Cake" with currants, nutmeg, mace, cinnamon, salt,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allegra-goodman/there-were-three-wedding-cakes-curious-and-historical-but-tasty-each/) [Allegra Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allegra-goodman/) > [“When I first enjoyed this superb view, one glowing April day," Jess read aloud, "from the summit of the Pacheco Pass, the Central Valley,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allegra-goodman/when-i-first-enjoyed-this-superb-view-one-glowing-april-day-jess-read/) [Allegra Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allegra-goodman/) > [“The wines were great, and better by the minute, even as the drinkers softened. Just as wines opened at the table, so the friends'…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allegra-goodman/the-wines-were-great-and-better-by-the-minute-even-as-the-drinkers/) [Allegra Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allegra-goodman/) > [“Who are you? She asked silently, as she laid away the collector's quotations, his drawings, his scraps of famous poetry: "Come live with me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allegra-goodman/who-are-you-she-asked-silently-as-she-laid-away-the-collector-s/) [Allegra Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allegra-goodman/) > [“She was surprised because she was Emily, and she did not share Jonathan's frank assessment of coworkers as losers, whiners, bozos, sharks. No, she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allegra-goodman/she-was-surprised-because-she-was-emily-and-she-did-not-share/) [Allegra Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allegra-goodman/) > [I do not think novels are necessarily more worthwhile than games. A novel can be a trivial waste of time, and a game can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allegra-goodman/i-do-not-think-novels-are-necessarily-more-worthwhile-than-games-a/) [Allegra Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allegra-goodman/) > [The new one actually reads, but only to pass judgment. This is the way kids learn today. Someone told them how you feel is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allegra-goodman/the-new-one-actually-reads-but-only-to-pass-judgment-this-is-the-way/) [Allegra Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allegra-goodman/) > [I do think some games are works of art, although their medium is visual rather than verbal. Both games and novels allow the reader/player…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allegra-goodman/i-do-think-some-games-are-works-of-art-although-their-medium-is/) [Allegra Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allegra-goodman/) > [“Jess gazed at the apples arranged in all their colors: russet, blushing pink, freckled gold. She cast her eyes over heaps of pumpkins, bins…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allegra-goodman/jess-gazed-at-the-apples-arranged-in-all-their-colors-russet-blushing/) [Allegra Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allegra-goodman/) [Explore all 60 Allegra Goodman quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allegra-goodman/) ## More Big sister quotes > [“What are you going to do for a living? Yea, you're going to have to work because you can't be a housewife. Somebody has…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maxine-hong-kingston/what-are-you-going-to-do-for-a-living-yea-you-re-going-to-have-to/) [Maxine Hong Kingston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maxine-hong-kingston/) > [My family life reads a bit like 'Little House on the Prairie.' 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"Can't a girl just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendy-mass/whoa-she-says-as-i-plow-into-her-what-are-you-doing-get-off-me-i-hang/) [Wendy Mass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendy-mass/) > [Smiling because I just got the sweetest text from my big sister...I love tht girl to life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/smiling-because-i-just-got-the-sweetest-text-from-my-big-sister-i/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [If you don't annoy your big sister for no good reason from time to time, she thinks you don't love her anymore.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pearl-cleage/if-you-don-t-annoy-your-big-sister-for-no-good-reason-from-time-to/) [Pearl Cleage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pearl-cleage/) > [Everyone on the cast was a dream. We were all young and sharing a unique, thrilling, and intimidating experience together. All the tributes grew…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leven-rambin/everyone-on-the-cast-was-a-dream-we-were-all-young-and-sharing-a/) [Leven Rambin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leven-rambin/) > [Why you go hook me up with the little sister thats bigger than the big sister.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-jones/why-you-go-hook-me-up-with-the-little-sister-thats-bigger-than-the/) [Craig Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-jones/) > [I have an older sister who sounds, unfortunately, exactly like me, and we sound like our mother did.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-abramson/i-have-an-older-sister-who-sounds-unfortunately-exactly-like-me-and/) [Jill Abramson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-abramson/) > [“I was hurting, too. How could she have done such a terrible thing? She was my friend. 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'Look at Emily taking care of her sister,' her New Jersey aunts said to one another after the memorial service. There were no relatives from England. Her English grandparents had died before Emily was born, but the New Jersey aunts were full of admiration. 'What an angel. Look how good she is,' her father's sisters said. Emily knew she was not an angel, but the more she doubted, the better she behaved. At work she was the peacemaker. 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