--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: For many decades my relations with my…" description: "\"For many decades my relations with my parents constituted unfinished business. I had dealt with them through sheer avoidance and guilt.\" — Alix Kates S..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd8/alix-kates-shulman-19070_avoidance_for-many-decades-my-relations-with-my-pa_1045265.jpg" --- # For many decades my relations with my parents constituted… ![“For many decades my relations with my parents constituted unfinished business. I had dealt with them through sheer avoidance and guilt.” quote by Alix Kates Shulman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd8/alix-kates-shulman-19070_avoidance_for-many-decades-my-relations-with-my-pa_1045265.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd8/alix-kates-shulman-19070_avoidance_for-many-decades-my-relations-with-my-pa_1045265.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd8/alix-kates-shulman-19070_avoidance_for-many-decades-my-relations-with-my-pa_1045265.jpg) > “For many decades my relations with my parents constituted unfinished business. I had dealt with them through sheer avoidance and guilt.” [Alix Kates Shulman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alix-kates-shulman/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Long‑term avoidance of parental issues creates lingering emotional debt that must be addressed for healing. **In simple terms:** Avoiding parents leaves unresolved feelings. Key Takeaway Confront and and reconcile with parents. Themes family healing avoidance guilt relationships Mood reflective hopeful Type advice personal growth When to use this quote - family gatherings - therapy sessions - personal reflection - holiday reunions Key Concepts psychology emotional intelligence family dynamics Questions to Reflect On - What unresolved feelings do you hold toward your parents? - How can you start a dialogue without blame? A Different Perspective Resolution may be painful and met with resistance. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Business](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/business/) [Guilt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/guilt/) [Parent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parent/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Regret](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/regret/) [Unfinished business](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/unfinished-business/) ## Related quotes > [The parent-child relationship in the home usually reflects the objective cultural conditions of the surrounding social structure. If the conditions which penetrate the home…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-freire/the-parent-child-relationship-in-the-home-usually-reflects-the/) [Paulo Freire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-freire/) > [Relations between parents and children and siblings and mates. This is not external. We can't separate them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dallas-willard/relations-between-parents-and-children-and-siblings-and-mates-this-is/) [Dallas Willard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dallas-willard/) > [The relations between parents and children are certainly not only those of constraint. There is spontaneous mutual affection, which from the first prompts the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-piaget/the-relations-between-parents-and-children-are-certainly-not-only/) [Jean Piaget](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-piaget/) > [I was supposed to fight Paul Daley a while back. I got staph infection in my hand and had to pull out of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-condit/i-was-supposed-to-fight-paul-daley-a-while-back-i-got-staph-infection/) [Carlos Condit](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-condit/) > [The thing is not to leave unfinished business; make every day count.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wally-amos/the-thing-is-not-to-leave-unfinished-business-make-every-day-count/) [Wally Amos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wally-amos/) > [“Much of what I have done is left unfinished- not because I left it too soon, not because I was lazy, but because it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanette-winterson/much-of-what-i-have-done-is-left-unfinished-not-because-i-left-it-too/) [Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/) > [Life should be an unfinished business.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/colin-fletcher/life-should-be-an-unfinished-business/) [Colin Fletcher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/colin-fletcher/) > [If you must begin then go all the way, because if you begin and quit, the unfinished business you have left behind begins to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chogyam-trungpa/if-you-must-begin-then-go-all-the-way-because-if-you-begin-and-quit/) [Chogyam Trungpa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chogyam-trungpa/) > [“Does all this have anything to do with Cameron coming back?" "Basically." She didn't put any letters down. Our game had effectively stopped. "I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sara-zarr/does-all-this-have-anything-to-do-with-cameron-coming-back-basically/) [Sara Zarr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sara-zarr/) > [“You ask me what it means to be irrelevant? The feeling is akin to visiting your old house as a wandering ghost with unfinished…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/azar-nafisi/you-ask-me-what-it-means-to-be-irrelevant-the-feeling-is-akin-to/) [Azar Nafisi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/azar-nafisi/) > [I feel unfinished business with the WBO title because that was my first loss when I went to New Zealand with Joseph Parker.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-ruiz-jr/i-feel-unfinished-business-with-the-wbo-title-because-that-was-my/) [Andy Ruiz Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-ruiz-jr/) > [“The British government in 1807 had issued the “Orders in Council,” which enforced a naval blockade against France, and with a shortage of seamen…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-river-editors/the-british-government-in-1807-had-issued-the-orders-in-council-which/) [Charles River Editors](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-river-editors/) > [Your unfinished business of the past can hold you from moving forward to the future.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simphiwe/your-unfinished-business-of-the-past-can-hold-you-from-moving-forward/) [Simphiwe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simphiwe/) > [He looked at my lips. I suddenly found myself wanting to lick his. 'Yes,' he replied, his eyes going molten. My breath caught in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katie-macalister/he-looked-at-my-lips-i-suddenly-found-myself-wanting-to-lick-his-yes/) [Katie MacAlister](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katie-macalister/) > [From '86 until the summer of last year, wherever I went, people would say, You would have made a great James Bond! Weren't you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pierce-brosnan/from-86-until-the-summer-of-last-year-wherever-i-went-people-would/) [Pierce Brosnan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pierce-brosnan/) ## More by Alix Kates Shulman > [Within walking distance of any spot on Earth there's probably more than enough mystery to investigate in a lifetime.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alix-kates-shulman/within-walking-distance-of-any-spot-on-earth-there-s-probably-more/) [Alix Kates Shulman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alix-kates-shulman/) > [It's always difficult to write honestly of one's deepest feelings, particularly without the protective veil of fiction. But the more difficult, the more rewarding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alix-kates-shulman/it-s-always-difficult-to-write-honestly-of-one-s-deepest-feelings/) [Alix Kates Shulman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alix-kates-shulman/) > [Ever since Freud, being alone has been considered something of a psychological failure. The point, according to Freudian theory, is to be able to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alix-kates-shulman/ever-since-freud-being-alone-has-been-considered-something-of-a/) [Alix Kates Shulman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alix-kates-shulman/) > [“His cup of tea did not include the dregs, though the dregs are the tea. His brew was nothing but vapor.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alix-kates-shulman/his-cup-of-tea-did-not-include-the-dregs-though-the-dregs-are-the-tea/) [Alix Kates Shulman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alix-kates-shulman/) > [Solitude offers a lot that being coupled or being in a group does not. It helps us learn what we are capable of.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alix-kates-shulman/solitude-offers-a-lot-that-being-coupled-or-being-in-a-group-does-not/) [Alix Kates Shulman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alix-kates-shulman/) > [When I became a feminist, when the movement started in the late sixties, I started writing because I had something urgent to say. My…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alix-kates-shulman/when-i-became-a-feminist-when-the-movement-started-in-the-late/) [Alix Kates Shulman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alix-kates-shulman/) > [Being alone for a woman is probably much more scary than for a man. I'm all for getting over our fears by facing them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alix-kates-shulman/being-alone-for-a-woman-is-probably-much-more-scary-than-for-a-man-i/) [Alix Kates Shulman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alix-kates-shulman/) > [I think you get mentally ill being homeless. Most of the bag ladies wind up mentally ill pretty quickly - what people would call…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alix-kates-shulman/i-think-you-get-mentally-ill-being-homeless-most-of-the-bag-ladies/) [Alix Kates Shulman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alix-kates-shulman/) > [I don't really think myself that sex work is necessarily more demeaning than other kinds of demeaning work.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alix-kates-shulman/i-don-t-really-think-myself-that-sex-work-is-necessarily-more/) [Alix Kates Shulman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alix-kates-shulman/) > [The movement for women's liberation was about an emotional transformation, an explosion, a feeling all over the country that things must be different, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alix-kates-shulman/the-movement-for-women-s-liberation-was-about-an-emotional/) [Alix Kates Shulman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alix-kates-shulman/) > [I am a feminist. I'm trying to show the relationships between men and women, always the structural relations, not individual villains. I'd never make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alix-kates-shulman/i-am-a-feminist-i-m-trying-to-show-the-relationships-between-men-and/) [Alix Kates Shulman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alix-kates-shulman/) > [I did not intend to be a writer. I first wanted to be a lawyer, like my father. Then I got bit by the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alix-kates-shulman/i-did-not-intend-to-be-a-writer-i-first-wanted-to-be-a-lawyer-like-my/) [Alix Kates Shulman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alix-kates-shulman/) > [Fiction is ideally suited to re-creating the important emotional aspects of history.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alix-kates-shulman/fiction-is-ideally-suited-to-re-creating-the-important-emotional/) [Alix Kates Shulman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alix-kates-shulman/) > [I am not a psychological novelist, and I try very hard not to allow the reader to see the plight or circumstances of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alix-kates-shulman/i-am-not-a-psychological-novelist-and-i-try-very-hard-not-to-allow/) [Alix Kates Shulman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alix-kates-shulman/) > [Sexism goes so deep that at first it's hard to see; you think it's just reality.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alix-kates-shulman/sexism-goes-so-deep-that-at-first-it-s-hard-to-see-you-think-it-s/) [Alix Kates Shulman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alix-kates-shulman/) [Explore all 33 Alix Kates Shulman quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alix-kates-shulman/) ## More Avoidance quotes > [Unmarried couples should get married - that's an excellent tax avoidance measure, if a bit drastic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-whiting/unmarried-couples-should-get-married-that-s-an-excellent-tax/) John Whiting > [“Collect yourself: to smother what you feel, recall to order, summon in one place; making, like Orpheus, a system against loss.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ruth-padel/collect-yourself-to-smother-what-you-feel-recall-to-order-summon-in/) [Ruth Padel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ruth-padel/) > [All work is the avoidance of harder work.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-richardson/all-work-is-the-avoidance-of-harder-work/) [James Richardson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-richardson/) > [“People spend entire lifetimes trying to avoid the things that have already happened.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/silvia-hartmann/people-spend-entire-lifetimes-trying-to-avoid-the-things-that-have/) [Silvia Hartmann](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/silvia-hartmann/) > [America is not static. America is striving. And sometimes, America requires critique. Jingoism is an avoidance of realism. You can simultaneously love and be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-m-blow/america-is-not-static-america-is-striving-and-sometimes-america/) [Charles M. Blow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-m-blow/) > [I am not in favour of the takeover of excellent and strategically important British companies by struggling foreign firms whose actions are fuelled by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sainsbury-baron-sainsbury-of-turville/i-am-not-in-favour-of-the-takeover-of-excellent-and-strategically/) [David Sainsbury, Baron Sainsbury of Turville](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sainsbury-baron-sainsbury-of-turville/) > [Most human behavior is nothing other than the avoidance of pain and the pursuit of pleasure.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deepak-chopra/most-human-behavior-is-nothing-other-than-the-avoidance-of-pain-and/) [Deepak Chopra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deepak-chopra/) > [You can gain power by avoidance. You can gain power by doing certain things. You can gain much more power by meditating.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/you-can-gain-power-by-avoidance-you-can-gain-power-by-doing-certain/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [“If you love stress, practice avoidance.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-rowe/if-you-love-stress-practice-avoidance/) Sharon Rowe > [I've been trying to avoid my problems, and I don't know what to do. I get high, but when I come down, my problems…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eugene-nathaniel-butler/i-ve-been-trying-to-avoid-my-problems-and-i-don-t-know-what-to-do-i/) [Eugene Nathaniel Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eugene-nathaniel-butler/) > [All the textbooks talk about avoidance as a classic hallmark of anxiety disorder. So you need a therapist who is sympathetic and understanding but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-stossel/all-the-textbooks-talk-about-avoidance-as-a-classic-hallmark-of/) [Scott Stossel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-stossel/) > [I read recently in an article by G.K. Chesterton, that sex without gestation and parturition is like blowing the trumpets and waving the flags…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dora-russell/i-read-recently-in-an-article-by-g-k-chesterton-that-sex-without/) [Dora Russell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dora-russell/) > [Be truthful... and pay attention. I would also recommend the avoidance of credit cards.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-mccarthy/be-truthful-and-pay-attention-i-would-also-recommend-the-avoidance-of/) [Mary McCarthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-mccarthy/) > [“Most of us will do anything to avoid facing ourselves”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lolly-daskal/most-of-us-will-do-anything-to-avoid-facing-ourselves/) [Lolly Daskal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lolly-daskal/) > [The pleasant life is not produced by continual drinking and dancing, nor sexual intercourse, nor rare dishes of sea food and other delicacies of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/epicurus/the-pleasant-life-is-not-produced-by-continual-drinking-and-dancing/) [Epicurus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epicurus/) Browse all 290 Avoidance quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "For many decades my relations with my parents constituted unfinished business. 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