--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: But how could he admire Joyce’s lengthy…" description: "\"“But how could he admire Joyce’s lengthy, libidinal ‘yes’ so fervently and end up saying ‘no’ to his own life? I suppose that a lifetime spent hiding o..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f3/alison-bechdel-7240_shame_but-how-could-he-admire-joyce-s-lengthy_1411547.jpg" --- # But how could he admire Joyce’s lengthy, libidinal ‘yes’… ![“But how could he admire Joyce’s lengthy, libidinal ‘yes’ so fervently and end up saying ‘no’ to his own life? I suppose that a lifetime spent hiding one’s erotic truth could have a cumulative renunciatory effect. Sexual shame is in itself a kind of death.” quote by Alison Bechdel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f3/alison-bechdel-7240_shame_but-how-could-he-admire-joyce-s-lengthy_1411547.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f3/alison-bechdel-7240_shame_but-how-could-he-admire-joyce-s-lengthy_1411547.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f3/alison-bechdel-7240_shame_but-how-could-he-admire-joyce-s-lengthy_1411547.jpg) > ““But how could he admire Joyce’s lengthy, libidinal ‘yes’ so fervently and end up saying ‘no’ to his own life? I suppose that a lifetime spent hiding one’s erotic truth could have a cumulative renunciatory effect. Sexual shame is in itself a kind of death.”” [Alison Bechdel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-bechdel/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The quote reflects how repressing one's sexual identity can become a self‑destructive force, equating shame with a form of living death. **In simple terms:** Suppressing sexual truth feels like dying inside. Key Takeaway Acknowledge and accept your erotic truth. Themes identity shame death self‑acceptance Mood somber reflective Type philosophical personal When to use this quote - therapy sessions - coming out - personal journaling - support groups Key Concepts psychology sexuality existentialism Questions to Reflect On - How does sexual repression affect your daily life? - What steps can you take to honor your true self? A Different Perspective Ignoring shame may not fully heal underlying trauma. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Admire Joyce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/admire-joyce-3136755/) [Erotic Truth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/erotic-truth-4975764/) [Hiding Erotic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hiding-erotic-4975765/) [Lengthy Libidinal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lengthy-libidinal-4975763/) [Sexual Shame](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sexual-shame-913104/) [Shame](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shame/) ## Related quotes > [I suppose that a lifetime spent hiding one's erotic truth could have a cumulative renunciatory effect. Sexual shame is in itself a kind of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-bechdel/i-suppose-that-a-lifetime-spent-hiding-one-s-erotic-truth-could-have/) [Alison Bechdel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-bechdel/) > [“Sexual shame is in itself a kind of death.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-bechdel/sexual-shame-is-in-itself-a-kind-of-death/) [Alison Bechdel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-bechdel/) > [I admire Joyce Maynard a lot, specifically her memoir "At Home in the World." Her writing is beautiful and fascinating and seemed to give…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marie-calloway/i-admire-joyce-maynard-a-lot-specifically-her-memoir-at-home-in-the/) [Marie Calloway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marie-calloway/) > [“American feminism has always had a puritanical strain, an imposed blindness to erotic truth.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/siri-hustvedt/american-feminism-has-always-had-a-puritanical-strain-an-imposed/) [Siri Hustvedt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/siri-hustvedt/) > [To live with the work and the letters of James Joyce was an enormous privilege and a daunting education. Yes, I came to admire…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edna-o-brien/to-live-with-the-work-and-the-letters-of-james-joyce-was-an-enormous/) [Edna O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edna-o-brien/) > [“Self-compassion can help us develop a healthier, more authentic way of relating to sex. First and foremost, by being supportive and nurturing toward our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristin-neff/self-compassion-can-help-us-develop-a-healthier-more-authentic-way-of/) [Kristin Neff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristin-neff/) > [“There's something energizing about getting what you want, even if that something is shame.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/riley-sager/there-s-something-energizing-about-getting-what-you-want-even-if-that/) [Riley Sager](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/riley-sager/) > [ I guarantee you \[Hillary Clinton\] is smoking in humiliation over the idea that she needs to heal and that \[Donald\] Trump's the guy to… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rush-limbaugh/i-guarantee-you-hillary-clinton-is-smoking-in-humiliation-over-the/) [Rush Limbaugh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rush-limbaugh/) > [Telling a story of illness, one pulls a thread through a narrow opening flanked on one side by shame and the other by trivia.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-griffin/telling-a-story-of-illness-one-pulls-a-thread-through-a-narrow/) [Susan Griffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-griffin/) > [“Build a bridge over shame by teaching kids about sexual abuse. Give them a chance to run to us should they encounter it. Be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-byers-ruch/build-a-bridge-over-shame-by-teaching-kids-about-sexual-abuse-give/) [Carolyn Byers Ruch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-byers-ruch/) > [Mine would be, "We will stand together, he and I. One in victory, one in shame. Only then can I truly own the power…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/mine-would-be-we-will-stand-together-he-and-i-one-in-victory-one-in/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [For some reason, we are truly convinced that if we criticize ourselves, the criticism will lead to change. If we are harsh, we believe…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/geneen-roth/for-some-reason-we-are-truly-convinced-that-if-we-criticize-ourselves/) [Geneen Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/geneen-roth/) > [The books that the world calls immoral are the books that show the world its own shame.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/the-books-that-the-world-calls-immoral-are-the-books-that-show-the/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [It's a shame that when you've actually lived some life and have something to write about, they're saying you're too old to come out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kt-tunstall/it-s-a-shame-that-when-you-ve-actually-lived-some-life-and-have/) [KT Tunstall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kt-tunstall/) > [“So she bowed her head and devoted herself to Beartown’s real traditional sports: shame and silence.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fredrik-backman/so-she-bowed-her-head-and-devoted-herself-to-beartown-s-real/) [Fredrik Backman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fredrik-backman/) ## More by Alison Bechdel > [Watching everyone root through their psyche, it just delights me. Especially R. Crumb's stuff.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-bechdel/watching-everyone-root-through-their-psyche-it-just-delights-me/) [Alison Bechdel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-bechdel/) > [It's imprecise and insufficient, defining the homosexual as a person whose gender expression is at odds with his or her sex.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-bechdel/it-s-imprecise-and-insufficient-defining-the-homosexual-as-a-person/) [Alison Bechdel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-bechdel/) > [The writing is hard, and the drawing is fun. It's very satisfying to see a drawing start to come together.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-bechdel/the-writing-is-hard-and-the-drawing-is-fun-it-s-very-satisfying-to/) [Alison Bechdel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-bechdel/) > [Sometimes I wish the writing and drawing were more integrated.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-bechdel/sometimes-i-wish-the-writing-and-drawing-were-more-integrated/) [Alison Bechdel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-bechdel/) > [“My homosexuality remained at that point purely theoretical, an untested hypothesis. But it was a hypothesise so thorough and so convincing I saw no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-bechdel/my-homosexuality-remained-at-that-point-purely-theoretical-an/) [Alison Bechdel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-bechdel/) > [Autobiographical comics, I love them. I love them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-bechdel/autobiographical-comics-i-love-them-i-love-them/) [Alison Bechdel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-bechdel/) > [Partly I resented being perceived as weak because I was a girl.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-bechdel/partly-i-resented-being-perceived-as-weak-because-i-was-a-girl/) [Alison Bechdel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-bechdel/) > [“I put the odds on a psychic deathmatch between Attila the Hun and Virginia Woolf at fifty-fifty.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-bechdel/i-put-the-odds-on-a-psychic-deathmatch-between-attila-the-hun-and/) [Alison Bechdel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-bechdel/) > [Basically, my work is play. It never actually feels that way - I'm always aiming to attain that state. But I get to do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-bechdel/basically-my-work-is-play-it-never-actually-feels-that-way-i-m-always/) [Alison Bechdel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-bechdel/) > [What would happen if we spoke the truth?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-bechdel/what-would-happen-if-we-spoke-the-truth/) [Alison Bechdel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-bechdel/) > [It was a vicious cycle, though. The more gratification we found in our own geniuses, the more isolated we grew.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-bechdel/it-was-a-vicious-cycle-though-the-more-gratification-we-found-in-our/) [Alison Bechdel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-bechdel/) > [“Then there were those famous wings. Was Daedalus really stricken with grief when Icarus fell into the sea? Or just disappointed by the design…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-bechdel/then-there-were-those-famous-wings-was-daedalus-really-stricken-with/) [Alison Bechdel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-bechdel/) > [“In this pause, I suddenly saw something very clearly. Whatever it was I wanted from my mother was simply not there to be had.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-bechdel/in-this-pause-i-suddenly-saw-something-very-clearly-whatever-it-was-i/) [Alison Bechdel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-bechdel/) > [People really want to think that these things really happened. I don't know why that is important, but I know that when I finish…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-bechdel/people-really-want-to-think-that-these-things-really-happened-i-don-t/) [Alison Bechdel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-bechdel/) > [“It's said, after all, that people reach middle age the day they realize they're never going to read Remembrance of Things Past.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-bechdel/it-s-said-after-all-that-people-reach-middle-age-the-day-they-realize/) [Alison Bechdel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-bechdel/) [Explore all 93 Alison Bechdel quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-bechdel/) ## More Shame quotes > [“So she bowed her head and devoted herself to Beartown’s real traditional sports: shame and silence.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fredrik-backman/so-she-bowed-her-head-and-devoted-herself-to-beartown-s-real/) [Fredrik Backman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fredrik-backman/) > [It's a shame that when you've actually lived some life and have something to write about, they're saying you're too old to come out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kt-tunstall/it-s-a-shame-that-when-you-ve-actually-lived-some-life-and-have/) [KT Tunstall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kt-tunstall/) > [The books that the world calls immoral are the books that show the world its own shame.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/the-books-that-the-world-calls-immoral-are-the-books-that-show-the/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [For some reason, we are truly convinced that if we criticize ourselves, the criticism will lead to change. If we are harsh, we believe…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/geneen-roth/for-some-reason-we-are-truly-convinced-that-if-we-criticize-ourselves/) [Geneen Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/geneen-roth/) > [Mine would be, "We will stand together, he and I. One in victory, one in shame. Only then can I truly own the power…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/mine-would-be-we-will-stand-together-he-and-i-one-in-victory-one-in/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Build a bridge over shame by teaching kids about sexual abuse. Give them a chance to run to us should they encounter it. Be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-byers-ruch/build-a-bridge-over-shame-by-teaching-kids-about-sexual-abuse-give/) [Carolyn Byers Ruch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-byers-ruch/) > [Telling a story of illness, one pulls a thread through a narrow opening flanked on one side by shame and the other by trivia.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-griffin/telling-a-story-of-illness-one-pulls-a-thread-through-a-narrow/) [Susan Griffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-griffin/) > [ I guarantee you \[Hillary Clinton\] is smoking in humiliation over the idea that she needs to heal and that \[Donald\] Trump's the guy to… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rush-limbaugh/i-guarantee-you-hillary-clinton-is-smoking-in-humiliation-over-the/) [Rush Limbaugh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rush-limbaugh/) > [“There's something energizing about getting what you want, even if that something is shame.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/riley-sager/there-s-something-energizing-about-getting-what-you-want-even-if-that/) [Riley Sager](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/riley-sager/) > [Most readers, then and now, have at some time experienced the humiliation of being told that their occupation is reprehensible.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alberto-manguel/most-readers-then-and-now-have-at-some-time-experienced-the/) [Alberto Manguel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alberto-manguel/) > [My influences are jazz, blues, European classical music; they are rock music and pop music. So many kinds of music. World music from different…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rokia-traore/my-influences-are-jazz-blues-european-classical-music-they-are-rock/) [Rokia Traore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rokia-traore/) > [“He stopped at an intersection, panting, rubbing at the twinge in his hamstrings, looking around, though he knew no cars were coming in either…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denise-mina/he-stopped-at-an-intersection-panting-rubbing-at-the-twinge-in-his/) [Denise Mina](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denise-mina/) > [“Shame is the deepest of the “negative emotions,” a feeling we will do almost anything to avoid. Unfortunately, our abiding fear of shame impairs…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/shame-is-the-deepest-of-the-negative-emotions-a-feeling-we-will-do/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [“To shame our sins He blushed in blood; He closed His eyes to show us God; Let all the world fall down and know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernard-of-clairvaux/to-shame-our-sins-he-blushed-in-blood-he-closed-his-eyes-to-show-us/) [Bernard of Clairvaux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernard-of-clairvaux/) > [I never wonder to see men wicked, but I often wonder to see them not ashamed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-swift/i-never-wonder-to-see-men-wicked-but-i-often-wonder-to-see-them-not/) [Jonathan Swift](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-swift/) [Browse all 4,033 Shame quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shame/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“But how could he admire Joyce’s lengthy, libidinal ‘yes’ so fervently and end up saying ‘no’ to his own life? 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