--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: These were the lovely bones that had…" description: "\"These were the lovely bones that had grown around my absence: the connections-sometimes tenuous, sometimes made at great cost, but often magnificent-th..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/188/alice-sebold-999_absence_these-were-the-lovely-bones-that-had-gro_517917.jpg" --- # These were the lovely bones that had grown around my… ![“These were the lovely bones that had grown around my absence: the connections-sometimes tenuous, sometimes made at great cost, but often magnificent-that happened after I was gone. And I began to see things in a way that let me hold the world without me in it. The events that my death wrought were…” quote by Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/188/alice-sebold-999_absence_these-were-the-lovely-bones-that-had-gro_517917.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/188/alice-sebold-999_absence_these-were-the-lovely-bones-that-had-gro_517917.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/188/alice-sebold-999_absence_these-were-the-lovely-bones-that-had-gro_517917.jpg) > “These were the lovely bones that had grown around my absence: the connections-sometimes tenuous, sometimes made at great cost, but often magnificent-that happened after I was gone. And I began to see things in a way that let me hold the world without me in it. The events that my death wrought were merely the bones of a body that would become whole at some unpredictable time in the future. The price of what I came to see as this miraculous body had been my life.” [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The quote reflects on how one's death can inspire connections and growth among the living, turning loss into a larger, evolving whole. **In simple terms:** Death can spark lasting bonds and future wholeness. Key Takeaway Recognize how loss can foster new connections. Themes loss connection growth legacy Mood reflective hopeful Type literary philosophical When to use this quote - grieving families - support groups - memorial events - personal reflection Key Concepts mortality meaningmaking interconnectedness Questions to Reflect On - How can we honor the departed while living fully? - What practices help transform grief into growth? A Different Perspective It may romanticize suffering, overlooking pain. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Absence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/absence/) [Body](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/body/) [Connections](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/connections/) [Death](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/death/) [Events](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/events/) [Lovely bones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lovely-bones/) [Miraculous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/miraculous/) [Unpredictable](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/unpredictable/) [World](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/world/) ## Related quotes > [“As I watched my family sip champagne, I thought about how their lives trailed backward and forward from my death and then, I saw,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/as-i-watched-my-family-sip-champagne-i-thought-about-how-their-lives/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [“The events that my death wrought were merely the bones of a body that would become whole at some unpredictable time in the future.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/the-events-that-my-death-wrought-were-merely-the-bones-of-a-body-that/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [What did dead mean, Ray wondered. It meant lost, it meant frozen, it meant gone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/what-did-dead-mean-ray-wondered-it-meant-lost-it-meant-frozen-it/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [“When he felt his heart hurt he turned into something stronger than a little boy, and he grew up this way. A heart that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/when-he-felt-his-heart-hurt-he-turned-into-something-stronger-than-a/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [He took the hat from my mouth. ''Tell me you love me'', he said. Gently I did. The end came anyway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/he-took-the-hat-from-my-mouth-tell-me-you-love-me-he-said-gently-i/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [“How could it be that you could love someone so much and keep it a secret from yourself as you woke daily so far…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/how-could-it-be-that-you-could-love-someone-so-much-and-keep-it-a/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [“How can I be expected to be trapped for the rest of my life by a man frozen in time?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/how-can-i-be-expected-to-be-trapped-for-the-rest-of-my-life-by-a-man/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [Each time I told my story, I lost a bit, the smallest drop of pain.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/each-time-i-told-my-story-i-lost-a-bit-the-smallest-drop-of-pain/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [“Outside the hospital, a young girl who was selling small bouquets of daffodils, their green stems tied with lavender ribbons. I watched as my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/outside-the-hospital-a-young-girl-who-was-selling-small-bouquets-of/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [I would like to tell you that I am, and you will one day be, forever safe.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/i-would-like-to-tell-you-that-i-am-and-you-will-one-day-be-forever/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [Inside the snow globe on my father's desk, there was a penguin wearing a red-and-white-striped scarf. When I was little my father would pull…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/inside-the-snow-globe-on-my-father-s-desk-there-was-a-penguin-wearing/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [“Every once in a while God allows you to stub your toe as a kind reminder to be grateful for the miraculous body attached…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richelle-e-goodrich/every-once-in-a-while-god-allows-you-to-stub-your-toe-as-a-kind/) [Richelle E. Goodrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richelle-e-goodrich/) > [“7. The first time I arrived here, I never thought I am small and luminous 8. The body, burdened and miraculous 9. The body as thin-nest boundary”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erika-meitner/7-the-first-time-i-arrived-here-i-never-thought-i-am-small-and/) Erika Meitner > [“We are the great miracle of creation! But from some blows this miraculous body cannot repair itself!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-m-coetzee-2/we-are-the-great-miracle-of-creation-but-from-some-blows-this/) [J. M. Coetzee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-m-coetzee-2/) > [Within the miraculous brew of universal creativity , all you desire already exists. Spend five minutes each morning with your eyes closed, living in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marianne-williamson/within-the-miraculous-brew-of-universal-creativity-all-you-desire/) [Marianne Williamson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marianne-williamson/) ## More by Alice Sebold > [Now I am in the place I call this wide wide Heaven because it includes all my simplest desires but also the most humble…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/now-i-am-in-the-place-i-call-this-wide-wide-heaven-because-it/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [I left my mark on that man.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/i-left-my-mark-on-that-man/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [These things, she felt, were not to be passed around like disingenuous party favors. She kept an honor code with her journals and her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/these-things-she-felt-were-not-to-be-passed-around-like-disingenuous/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [I don't think ignorance is a way that you gain distance on something.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/i-don-t-think-ignorance-is-a-way-that-you-gain-distance-on-something/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [I was like I was in science class: I was curious.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/i-was-like-i-was-in-science-class-i-was-curious/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [“There are secret rooms inside us,” I had said to my therapist. “A relatively benign construct,” he said, and so I did not bother…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/there-are-secret-rooms-inside-us-i-had-said-to-my-therapist-a/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [“This is just a temporary hell, not a permanent one”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/this-is-just-a-temporary-hell-not-a-permanent-one/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [“And a soul would run by a living being, touch them softly on the shoulder or cheek, and continue on its way to heaven.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/and-a-soul-would-run-by-a-living-being-touch-them-softly-on-the/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [As if in the other side of his kiss there could ve a new life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/as-if-in-the-other-side-of-his-kiss-there-could-ve-a-new-life/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [“My little brother's greatest fear was that the one person who meant so much to him would go away. He loved Lindsey and Grandma…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/my-little-brother-s-greatest-fear-was-that-the-one-person-who-meant/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [“She listened for the pain in my words, not to the narrative itself. She was intuiting what it meant to me, what was most…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/she-listened-for-the-pain-in-my-words-not-to-the-narrative-itself-she/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [The relationship with the words someone uses is more intimate and integrated than just a quick read and a blurb can ever be. This…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/the-relationship-with-the-words-someone-uses-is-more-intimate-and/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [Ruth hadn't talked to my sister since before my death, and then it was only to excuse herself in the hallway at school. But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/ruth-hadn-t-talked-to-my-sister-since-before-my-death-and-then-it-was/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [Since then I've always thought that under rape in the dictionary it should tell the truth. It is not just forcible intercourse; rape means…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/since-then-i-ve-always-thought-that-under-rape-in-the-dictionary-it/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [I live in a world where two truths coexist: where both hell and hope lie in the palm of my hand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/i-live-in-a-world-where-two-truths-coexist-where-both-hell-and-hope/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) [Explore all 302 Alice Sebold quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) ## More Absence quotes > [Distance sometimes endears friendship, and absence sweeteneth it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-howell/distance-sometimes-endears-friendship-and-absence-sweeteneth-it/) [James Howell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-howell/) > [The work, the work, the work. This is what the business is all about. This is the fun, the glory, the pleasure. It's the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-dusenberry/the-work-the-work-the-work-this-is-what-the-business-is-all-about/) [Phil Dusenberry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-dusenberry/) > [Total depravity means the entire absence of holiness, not the highest intensity of sin. A totally depraved man is not as bad as he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-greenough-thayer-shedd/total-depravity-means-the-entire-absence-of-holiness-not-the-highest/) [William Greenough Thayer Shedd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-greenough-thayer-shedd/) > [Local and state governments have outrun the federal government. The EPA has served notice that it will enact a rule requiring CO2 reductions by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/al-gore/local-and-state-governments-have-outrun-the-federal-government-the/) [Al Gore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/al-gore/) > [There, in the center of that silence was not eternity but the death of time and a loneliness so profound the word itself had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toni-morrison/there-in-the-center-of-that-silence-was-not-eternity-but-the-death-of/) [Toni Morrison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toni-morrison/) > [Of all the bewildering things about a new country, the absence of human landmarks is one of the most depressing and disheartening.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/willa-cather/of-all-the-bewildering-things-about-a-new-country-the-absence-of/) [Willa Cather](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/willa-cather/) > [Young men have strong passions and tend to gratify them indiscriminately. Of the bodily desires, it is the sexual by which they are most…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aristotle/young-men-have-strong-passions-and-tend-to-gratify-them/) [Aristotle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aristotle/) > [It is suggested that in domestic violence at least the presence or absence of a firearm, or of any other type of weapon, is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/colin-greenwood/it-is-suggested-that-in-domestic-violence-at-least-the-presence-or/) [Colin Greenwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/colin-greenwood/) > [The absence of God in most spheres of life is perceived to be normal, and even Christians feel it as normal - which is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-piper/the-absence-of-god-in-most-spheres-of-life-is-perceived-to-be-normal/) [John Piper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-piper/) > [Every person needs to take one day away. A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future. Jobs, family, employers, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-angelou/every-person-needs-to-take-one-day-away-a-day-in-which-one/) [Maya Angelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-angelou/) > [“I was thinking how most people don't make you feel much of anything at all. Don't make you feel like time spent with them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-lotter/i-was-thinking-how-most-people-don-t-make-you-feel-much-of-anything/) [Jane Lotter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-lotter/) > [Cooperation isn't the absence of conflict but a means of managing conflict.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/cooperation-isn-t-the-absence-of-conflict-but-a-means-of-managing/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [Many are observing Ferguson and witnessing the anger, demonstrations, looting and vandalism and calling for quiet. But quiet isn't enough. 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Ambedkar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/b-r-ambedkar/) [Browse all 2,057 Absence quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/absence/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "These were the lovely bones that had grown around my absence: the connections-sometimes tenuous, sometimes made at great cost, but often magnificent-that happened after I was gone. And I began to see things in a way that let me hold the world without me in it. The events that my death wrought were merely the bones of a body that would become whole at some unpredictable time in the future. 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