--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I wondered if this longing in a…" description: "\"“I wondered if this longing in a three-year-old had sparked what came at eight. That fuzzy feeling of difference, that her crushes on female teachers o..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b4b/alice-sebold-999_desire_i-wondered-if-this-longing-in-a-three-ye_2549962.jpg" --- # I wondered if this longing in a three-year-old had sparked… ![“I wondered if this longing in a three-year-old had sparked what came at eight. That fuzzy feeling of difference, that her crushes on female teachers or her cousin were more real than the other girls' crushes. Hers contained a desire beyond sweetness and attention, it fed a longing, beginning to…” quote by Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b4b/alice-sebold-999_desire_i-wondered-if-this-longing-in-a-three-ye_2549962.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b4b/alice-sebold-999_desire_i-wondered-if-this-longing-in-a-three-ye_2549962.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b4b/alice-sebold-999_desire_i-wondered-if-this-longing-in-a-three-ye_2549962.jpg) > ““I wondered if this longing in a three-year-old had sparked what came at eight. That fuzzy feeling of difference, that her crushes on female teachers or her cousin were more real than the other girls' crushes. Hers contained a desire beyond sweetness and attention, it fed a longing, beginning to flower green and yellow into a crocuslike lust, the soft petals opening into her awkward adolescence. It was not so much, she would write in her journal, that she wanted to have sex with women, but that she wanted to disappear inside of them forever. To hide.”” [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A child's early yearning for deep connection evolves into a yearning to lose herself in another, reflecting complex identity formation. **In simple terms:** A girl seeks to merge with others to feel whole. Key Takeaway Recognize and nurture healthy emotional boundaries. Themes identity loneliness sexuality Mood empathetic thoughtful Type psychological reflective When to use this quote - therapy - education - parenting advice Key Concepts adolescent development emotional intimacy self‑loss Questions to Reflect On - How do early crushes shape later relationships? - What supports healthy self‑identity in teens? A Different Perspective Risk of romanticizing unhealthy attachment. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Contained Desire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/contained-desire-1512335/) [Desire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/desire/) [Flowers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/flowers/) [Longing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/longing/) [Longing Beginning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/longing-beginning-1512334/) [Longing Year](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/longing-year-1512337/) [Nostalgia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/nostalgia/) [Wondered Longing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wondered-longing-1512336/) ## Related quotes > [“Haunted by the longing to feel something real, deep and magical; I searched for a shared ecstasy... that's when you came along.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lebo-grand/haunted-by-the-longing-to-feel-something-real-deep-and-magical-i/) [Lebo Grand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lebo-grand/) > [“Life is a collection of memories and feelings. Mawkish sentimentally urges us to engage in artistic overtures, we yearn to share with other people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kilroy-j-oldster/life-is-a-collection-of-memories-and-feelings-mawkish-sentimentally/) [Kilroy J. Oldster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kilroy-j-oldster/) > [You don't know why, but you know you have to go home. It's an eternal longing. It's Marvell's drop of dew wanting to go…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/you-don-t-know-why-but-you-know-you-have-to-go-home-it-s-an-eternal/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [“I walk with a dual longing for life and for death.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-lee-houghton/i-walk-with-a-dual-longing-for-life-and-for-death/) [Melissa Lee-Houghton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-lee-houghton/) > [“…The truth: dreaming is lonely the further away the closer to this one time No one has held me for so long Days stitch…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/angkarn-chanthathip/the-truth-dreaming-is-lonely-the-further-away-the-closer-to-this-one/) [Angkarn Chanthathip](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/angkarn-chanthathip/) > [The orgasm has replaced the Cross as the focus of longing and the image of fulfillment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malcolm-muggeridge/the-orgasm-has-replaced-the-cross-as-the-focus-of-longing-and-the/) [Malcolm Muggeridge](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malcolm-muggeridge/) > [“How sad, he thought, that desire found new objects but did not abate, that when it came to longing there was no end.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allegra-goodman/how-sad-he-thought-that-desire-found-new-objects-but-did-not-abate/) [Allegra Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allegra-goodman/) > [If we really face our sadness, we find it speaks with the voice of our deepest longing. And if we face it a little…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-kingsley/if-we-really-face-our-sadness-we-find-it-speaks-with-the-voice-of-our/) [Peter Kingsley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-kingsley/) > [To show a longing for anything that one cannot have, for instance, is not a clever position.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/to-show-a-longing-for-anything-that-one-cannot-have-for-instance-is/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) > [I can negate everything of that part of me that lives on vague nostalgias, except this desire for unity, this longing to solve, this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/albert-camus/i-can-negate-everything-of-that-part-of-me-that-lives-on-vague/) [Albert Camus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/albert-camus/) > [Longing is like a seed that wrestles in the ground](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-dickinson/longing-is-like-a-seed-that-wrestles-in-the-ground/) [Emily Dickinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-dickinson/) > [It (taking photographs) is all about longingwithout longing-no pictures at all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anders-petersen/it-taking-photographs-is-all-about-longingwithout-longing-no-pictures/) [Anders Petersen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anders-petersen/) > [Could it be in longing we are most ourselves?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/li-young-lee/could-it-be-in-longing-we-are-most-ourselves/) [Li-Young Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/li-young-lee/) > [Sometimes it has to do with other longings that are much more existential. Sometimes you go elsewhere not because you are not liking the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/sometimes-it-has-to-do-with-other-longings-that-are-much-more/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [“Longing for you is the sweetest anticipation I’ve ever known.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cari-quinn/longing-for-you-is-the-sweetest-anticipation-i-ve-ever-known/) [Cari Quinn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cari-quinn/) ## More by Alice Sebold > [Now I am in the place I call this wide wide Heaven because it includes all my simplest desires but also the most humble…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/now-i-am-in-the-place-i-call-this-wide-wide-heaven-because-it/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [I left my mark on that man.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/i-left-my-mark-on-that-man/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [These things, she felt, were not to be passed around like disingenuous party favors. She kept an honor code with her journals and her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/these-things-she-felt-were-not-to-be-passed-around-like-disingenuous/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [I don't think ignorance is a way that you gain distance on something.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/i-don-t-think-ignorance-is-a-way-that-you-gain-distance-on-something/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [I was like I was in science class: I was curious.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/i-was-like-i-was-in-science-class-i-was-curious/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [“There are secret rooms inside us,” I had said to my therapist. “A relatively benign construct,” he said, and so I did not bother…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/there-are-secret-rooms-inside-us-i-had-said-to-my-therapist-a/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [“This is just a temporary hell, not a permanent one”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/this-is-just-a-temporary-hell-not-a-permanent-one/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [“And a soul would run by a living being, touch them softly on the shoulder or cheek, and continue on its way to heaven.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/and-a-soul-would-run-by-a-living-being-touch-them-softly-on-the/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [As if in the other side of his kiss there could ve a new life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/as-if-in-the-other-side-of-his-kiss-there-could-ve-a-new-life/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [“My little brother's greatest fear was that the one person who meant so much to him would go away. He loved Lindsey and Grandma…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/my-little-brother-s-greatest-fear-was-that-the-one-person-who-meant/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [“She listened for the pain in my words, not to the narrative itself. She was intuiting what it meant to me, what was most…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/she-listened-for-the-pain-in-my-words-not-to-the-narrative-itself-she/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [The relationship with the words someone uses is more intimate and integrated than just a quick read and a blurb can ever be. This…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/the-relationship-with-the-words-someone-uses-is-more-intimate-and/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [Ruth hadn't talked to my sister since before my death, and then it was only to excuse herself in the hallway at school. But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/ruth-hadn-t-talked-to-my-sister-since-before-my-death-and-then-it-was/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [Since then I've always thought that under rape in the dictionary it should tell the truth. It is not just forcible intercourse; rape means…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/since-then-i-ve-always-thought-that-under-rape-in-the-dictionary-it/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [I live in a world where two truths coexist: where both hell and hope lie in the palm of my hand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/i-live-in-a-world-where-two-truths-coexist-where-both-hell-and-hope/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) [Explore all 302 Alice Sebold quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) ## More Desire quotes > [I put myself in the student's place and remember the frustrations, doubts, determination, and desires I felt when I was going through the initial…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-martinez/i-put-myself-in-the-student-s-place-and-remember-the-frustrations/) [Ted Martinez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-martinez/) > [Passion is what you need to be good, an unforgiving passion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-easton/passion-is-what-you-need-to-be-good-an-unforgiving-passion/) [David Easton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-easton/) > [I want the municipality to be a helping hand to the man with a desire of sympathy, to help the fallen when it is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-burns/i-want-the-municipality-to-be-a-helping-hand-to-the-man-with-a-desire/) [John Burns](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-burns/) > [Ye youths and virgins, when your generous blood Has drunk the warmth of fifteen summers, now The loves invite; now to new rapture wakes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-armstrong/ye-youths-and-virgins-when-your-generous-blood-has-drunk-the-warmth/) [John Armstrong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-armstrong/) > [I have observed this in my experience of slavery, - that whenever my condition was improved, instead of its increasing my contentment, it only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-douglass/i-have-observed-this-in-my-experience-of-slavery-that-whenever-my/) [Frederick Douglass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-douglass/) > [“THE ESSENCE OF YOUR DESIRE IS A FEELING”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/danielle-laporte/the-essence-of-your-desire-is-a-feeling/) [Danielle LaPorte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/danielle-laporte/) > [On the brink of being satiated, desire still appears infinite.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-rostand/on-the-brink-of-being-satiated-desire-still-appears-infinite/) [Jean Rostand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-rostand/) > [If there is any period one would desire to be born in, is it not the age of Revolution; when the old and the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-waldo-emerson/if-there-is-any-period-one-would-desire-to-be-born-in-is-it-not-the/) [Ralph Waldo Emerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-waldo-emerson/) > [He caught her, she fell, he caught her in his arms, he held her tightly unconscious of what he was doing. He held her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/victor-hugo/he-caught-her-she-fell-he-caught-her-in-his-arms-he-held-her-tightly/) [Victor Hugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/victor-hugo/) > [ Teaching might even be the greatest of the arts since the medium is the human mind and spirit. My three \[great teachers\] did not… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-steinbeck/teaching-might-even-be-the-greatest-of-the-arts-since-the-medium-is/) [John Steinbeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-steinbeck/) > [“The deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dewey/the-deepest-urge-in-human-nature-is-the-desire-to-be-important/) [John Dewey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dewey/) > [In discovering books, you became free to explore the full range of human motives, desires, secrets, and lies. All my life, people have scolded…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betsy-lerner/in-discovering-books-you-became-free-to-explore-the-full-range-of/) [Betsy Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betsy-lerner/) > [I have never been in, nor have I had any strong particular desire to be in, what is termed a costume drama, but I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-freeman/i-have-never-been-in-nor-have-i-had-any-strong-particular-desire-to/) [Martin Freeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-freeman/) > [Now I am in the place I call this wide wide Heaven because it includes all my simplest desires but also the most humble…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/now-i-am-in-the-place-i-call-this-wide-wide-heaven-because-it/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [“from THE DEVIL YOU KNOW : She wanted him too. He could see it in the rapid rise of her breasts. He could smell…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emery-lee/from-the-devil-you-know-she-wanted-him-too-he-could-see-it-in-the/) [Emery Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emery-lee/) [Browse all 15,155 Desire quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/desire/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I wondered if this longing in a three-year-old had sparked what came at eight. That fuzzy feeling of difference, that her crushes on female teachers or her cousin were more real than the other girls' crushes. Hers contained a desire beyond sweetness and attention, it fed a longing, beginning to flower green and yellow into a crocuslike lust, the soft petals opening into her awkward adolescence. It was not so much, she would write in her journal, that she wanted to have sex with women, but that she wanted to disappear inside of them forever. To hide.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Alice Sebold" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/i-wondered-if-this-longing-in-a-three-year-old-had-sparked-what-came/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Desire" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/i-wondered-if-this-longing-in-a-three-year-old-had-sparked-what-came/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b4b/alice-sebold-999_desire_i-wondered-if-this-longing-in-a-three-ye_2549962.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b4b/alice-sebold-999_desire_i-wondered-if-this-longing-in-a-three-ye_2549962.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b4b/alice-sebold-999_desire_i-wondered-if-this-longing-in-a-three-ye_2549962.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I wondered if this longing in a three-year-old had sparked what came at eight. That fuzzy feeling of…” — Alice Sebold", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Alice Sebold", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“I wondered if this longing in...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/i-wondered-if-this-longing-in-a-three-year-old-had-sparked-what-came/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/i-wondered-if-this-longing-in-a-three-year-old-had-sparked-what-came/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```