--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: We can never do the right thing as long…" description: "\"We can never do the right thing as long as we are out to please someone else.\" — Alice Miller" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/538/alice-miller-3713_esteem_we-can-never-do-the-right-thing-as-long_2939523.png" --- # We can never do the right thing as long as we are out to… ![“We can never do the right thing as long as we are out to please someone else.” quote by Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/538/alice-miller-3713_esteem_we-can-never-do-the-right-thing-as-long_2939523.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/538/alice-miller-3713_esteem_we-can-never-do-the-right-thing-as-long_2939523.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/538/alice-miller-3713_esteem_we-can-never-do-the-right-thing-as-long_2939523.png) > “We can never do the right thing as long as we are out to please someone else.” [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Prioritizing others' approval prevents authentic moral action. **In simple terms:** Seeking approval blocks right choices. Key Takeaway Act from personal values, not others' expectations. Themes authenticity morality self‑esteem Mood reflective determined Type advice philosophical When to use this quote - personal relationships - career decisions - leadership - creativeisis Key Concepts psychology ethical decision‑making Questions to Reflect On - How can you recognize when you’re acting for approval? - What values guide your decisions? A Different Perspective People may still be influenced by social pressure despite intention. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Esteem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/esteem/) [Long](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/long/) [Please](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/please/) [Right](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/right/) [Right thing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/right-thing/) [Self esteem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-esteem/) [Thing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thing/) [Thing Long](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thing-long-653247/) ## Related quotes > [I am very, very old-fashioned and clumsy. I use those long reporter notebooks. This is what a troglodyte I am. The night before I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-quammen/i-am-very-very-old-fashioned-and-clumsy-i-use-those-long-reporter/) [David Quammen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-quammen/) > [There is no such thing as a long piece of work, except one that you dare not start.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-baudelaire/there-is-no-such-thing-as-a-long-piece-of-work-except-one-that-you/) [Charles Baudelaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-baudelaire/) > [I have ADD. I can't pay attention to one thing too long.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alejandro-gonzalez-inarritu/i-have-add-i-can-t-pay-attention-to-one-thing-too-long/) [Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alejandro-gonzalez-inarritu/) > [You cut their money back, for one thing... I go back a long way with the NEA.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlton-heston/you-cut-their-money-back-for-one-thing-i-go-back-a-long-way-with-the/) [Charlton Heston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlton-heston/) > [You have to just do your thing, as long as you don't hurt anybody along the way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/heidi-klum/you-have-to-just-do-your-thing-as-long-as-you-don-t-hurt-anybody/) [Heidi Klum](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/heidi-klum/) > [Life is full of surprises so don't hang on to one thing for too long.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-is-full-of-surprises-so-don-t-hang-on-to-one-thing-for-too-long/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Where you're born is sometimes all that separates a sure thing from a long shot.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tupelo-hassman/where-you-re-born-is-sometimes-all-that-separates-a-sure-thing-from-a/) [Tupelo Hassman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tupelo-hassman/) > [“You have to look at a thing long enough for it to really show itself to you...”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-milford/you-have-to-look-at-a-thing-long-enough-for-it-to-really-show-itself/) [Kate Milford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-milford/) > [It doesn't matter if the item isn't your favorite thing as long it fits well.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tan-france/it-doesn-t-matter-if-the-item-isn-t-your-favorite-thing-as-long-it/) [Tan France](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tan-france/) > [My whole thing has always been as long as everybody else is going through it, I can go through it as well.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/keith-sweat/my-whole-thing-has-always-been-as-long-as-everybody-else-is-going/) [Keith Sweat](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/keith-sweat/) > [“The next best thing never last for too long”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cecelia-ahern/the-next-best-thing-never-last-for-too-long/) [Cecelia Ahern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cecelia-ahern/) > [Letting you go is the hardest thing I ever done.. As long you happy I will do it](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alex-low/letting-you-go-is-the-hardest-thing-i-ever-done-as-long-you-happy-i/) [Alex Low](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alex-low/) > [I'm afraid that if you look at a thing long enough, it loses all of its meaning.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-warhol/i-m-afraid-that-if-you-look-at-a-thing-long-enough-it-loses-all-of/) [Andy Warhol](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-warhol/) > [The thing we long for, that we are For one transcendent moment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-russell-lowell/the-thing-we-long-for-that-we-are-for-one-transcendent-moment/) [James Russell Lowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-russell-lowell/) > [“Do the thing you long to do and become the person you’re destined to be.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-mcquestion/do-the-thing-you-long-to-do-and-become-the-person-you-re-destined-to/) [Karen McQuestion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-mcquestion/) ## More by Alice Miller > [Almost everywhere we find . . . the use of various coercive measures, to rid ourselves as quickly as possible of the child withinus--i.e.,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/almost-everywhere-we-find-the-use-of-various-coercive-measures-to-rid/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [Wherever I look, I see signs of the commandment to honor one's parents and nowhere of a commandment that calls for the respect of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/wherever-i-look-i-see-signs-of-the-commandment-to-honor-one-s-parents/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [The art of not experiencing feelings. A child can experience her feelings only when there is somebody there who accepts her fully, understands her,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/the-art-of-not-experiencing-feelings-a-child-can-experience-her/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [Disrespect is the weapon of the weak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/disrespect-is-the-weapon-of-the-weak/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [“Even if one ultimately risks losing all contact with oneself and merely functioning as a mask, an "as if" personality, there are always drugs,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/even-if-one-ultimately-risks-losing-all-contact-with-oneself-and/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [“Thus he spent his whole life searching for his own truth, but it remained hidden to him because he had learned at a very…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/thus-he-spent-his-whole-life-searching-for-his-own-truth-but-it/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [“Most people do exactly the opposite. Without realizing that the past is constantly determining their present actions, they avoid learning anything about their history.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/most-people-do-exactly-the-opposite-without-realizing-that-the-past/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [People who, as children, were intellectually far beyond their parents and therefore admired by them, but who also therefore had to solve their own…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/people-who-as-children-were-intellectually-far-beyond-their-parents/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [Parents are indeed capable of routinely torturing their children without anyone interceding.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/parents-are-indeed-capable-of-routinely-torturing-their-children/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [Ultimately the body will rebel. Even if it can be temporarily pacified with the help of drugs, cigarettes or medicine, it usually has the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/ultimately-the-body-will-rebel-even-if-it-can-be-temporarily-pacified/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [The child has a primary need to be regarded and respected as the person he really is at any given time, and as the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/the-child-has-a-primary-need-to-be-regarded-and-respected-as-the/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [For some years now, there has been proof that the devastating effects of the traumatization of children take their inevitable tollon society--a fact that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/for-some-years-now-there-has-been-proof-that-the-devastating-effects/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [“The older we get, the more difficult it is to find other people who can give us the love our parents denied us. But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/the-older-we-get-the-more-difficult-it-is-to-find-other-people-who/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [It is very difficult for people to believe the simple fact that every persecutor was once a victim. Yet it should be very obvious…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/it-is-very-difficult-for-people-to-believe-the-simple-fact-that-every/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [We don't yet know, above all, what the world might be like if children were to grow up without being subjected to humiliation, if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/we-don-t-yet-know-above-all-what-the-world-might-be-like-if-children/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) [Explore all 120 Alice Miller quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) ## More Esteem quotes > [Her dignity consists in being unknown to the world; her glory is in the esteem of her husband; her pleasures in the happiness of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-jacques-rousseau/her-dignity-consists-in-being-unknown-to-the-world-her-glory-is-in/) [Jean-Jacques Rousseau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-jacques-rousseau/) > [Nothing is better for self-esteem than survival.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-gellhorn/nothing-is-better-for-self-esteem-than-survival/) [Martha Gellhorn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-gellhorn/) > [Needs cause motivation. Deep-rooted desires for esteem, affection, belonging, achievement, self-actualization, power, and control motivate us to push for what we want and need…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorii-myers/needs-cause-motivation-deep-rooted-desires-for-esteem-affection/) [Lorii Myers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorii-myers/) > [So I went to a club the other day, which is timely because my self esteem had been hovering right around 'normal' and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/so-i-went-to-a-club-the-other-day-which-is-timely-because-my-self/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) > [You would not exist if you did not have something to bring to the table of life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herbie-hancock/you-would-not-exist-if-you-did-not-have-something-to-bring-to-the/) [Herbie Hancock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herbie-hancock/) > [To preserve an unclouded capacity for the enjoyment of life is an unusual moral and psychological achievement. Contrary to popular belief, it is not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/to-preserve-an-unclouded-capacity-for-the-enjoyment-of-life-is-an/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [If you go to any nunnery and ask them what the main obstacle is, they'll always say low self-esteem and lack of confidence. It…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tenzin-palmo/if-you-go-to-any-nunnery-and-ask-them-what-the-main-obstacle-is-they/) [Tenzin Palmo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tenzin-palmo/) > [Don't worry so much about your self-esteem. Worry more about your character. Integrity is its own reward.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-schlessinger/don-t-worry-so-much-about-your-self-esteem-worry-more-about-your/) [Laura Schlessinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-schlessinger/) > [Spina bifida affects every single aspect of your life, from your child's self-esteem to your ability to sleep at night.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-ari-parker/spina-bifida-affects-every-single-aspect-of-your-life-from-your-child/) [Nicole Ari Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-ari-parker/) > [You never exist quite so much as when you are not thinking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/friedrich-nietzsche/you-never-exist-quite-so-much-as-when-you-are-not-thinking/) [Friedrich Nietzsche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/friedrich-nietzsche/) > [Never let the opinion of another affect your opinion of yourself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/teresa-mummert/never-let-the-opinion-of-another-affect-your-opinion-of-yourself/) [Teresa Mummert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/teresa-mummert/) > [You'd be surprised how addicting high self-esteem is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fergie/you-d-be-surprised-how-addicting-high-self-esteem-is/) [Fergie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fergie/) > [The only thing I pay attention to with free throws is what a guy does in the final four minutes of a game. If…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-calipari/the-only-thing-i-pay-attention-to-with-free-throws-is-what-a-guy-does/) [John Calipari](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-calipari/) > [When one is a stranger to oneself then one is estranged from others too. If one is out of touch with oneself, then one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-morrow-lindbergh/when-one-is-a-stranger-to-oneself-then-one-is-estranged-from-others/) [Anne Morrow Lindbergh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-morrow-lindbergh/) > [The Tao is the center of the universe, the good man's treasure, the bad man's refuge. Honors can be bought with fine words, respect…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laozi/the-tao-is-the-center-of-the-universe-the-good-man-s-treasure-the-bad/) [Laozi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laozi/) [Browse all 1,681 Esteem quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/esteem/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "We can never do the right thing as long as we are out to please someone else.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Alice Miller" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/we-can-never-do-the-right-thing-as-long-as-we-are-out-to-please/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Esteem" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/we-can-never-do-the-right-thing-as-long-as-we-are-out-to-please/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/538/alice-miller-3713_esteem_we-can-never-do-the-right-thing-as-long_2939523.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/538/alice-miller-3713_esteem_we-can-never-do-the-right-thing-as-long_2939523.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/538/alice-miller-3713_esteem_we-can-never-do-the-right-thing-as-long_2939523.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“We can never do the right thing as long as we are out to please someone else.” — Alice Miller", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Alice Miller", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "We can never do the right...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/we-can-never-do-the-right-thing-as-long-as-we-are-out-to-please/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/we-can-never-do-the-right-thing-as-long-as-we-are-out-to-please/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```