--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The older we get, the more difficult it…" description: "\"“The older we get, the more difficult it is to find other people who can give us the love our parents denied us. But the body's expectations do not sla..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/271/alice-miller-3713_parenting_the-older-we-get-the-more-difficult-it-i_490749.jpg" --- # The older we get, the more difficult it is to find other… ![“The older we get, the more difficult it is to find other people who can give us the love our parents denied us. But the body's expectations do not slacken with age—quite the contrary! They are merely direct at others, usually our own children and grandchildren. The only way out of this dilemma is…” quote by Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/271/alice-miller-3713_parenting_the-older-we-get-the-more-difficult-it-i_490749.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/271/alice-miller-3713_parenting_the-older-we-get-the-more-difficult-it-i_490749.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/271/alice-miller-3713_parenting_the-older-we-get-the-more-difficult-it-i_490749.jpg) > ““The older we get, the more difficult it is to find other people who can give us the love our parents denied us. But the body's expectations do not slacken with age—quite the contrary! They are merely direct at others, usually our own children and grandchildren. The only way out of this dilemma is to become aware of these mechanisms and to identify the reality of our own childhood by counteracting the processes of repression and denial. In this way we can create in our own selves a person who can satisfy at least some of the needs that have been waiting for fulfillment since birth, if not earlier. Then we can give ourselves the attention, the respect, the understanding for our emotions, to sorely needed protection, and the unconditional love that our parents withheld from us.”” [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Highlights unmet emotional needs from childhood and the need to self‑parent to heal. **In simple terms:** Heal by recognizing and meeting your own childhood needs. Key Takeaway Self‑care and emotional awareness. Themes psychology family dynamics healing self‑parenting Mood reflective empathetic hopeful Type psychological self‑help When to use this quote - therapy - parenting - personal reflection - support groups Key Concepts attachment theory repression generational trauma Questions to Reflect On - How can you nurture your inner child? - What boundaries protect you from repeating patterns? A Different Perspective Self‑care alone may not resolve deep trauma without professional help. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Unconditional love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/unconditional-love/) ## Related quotes > [The incomparable stupidity of life teaches us to love our parents; divine philosophy teaches us to forgive them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-incomparable-stupidity-of-life-teaches-us-to-love-our-parents/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Neither the Ten Commandments nor the Bible elsewhere commands us to love our parents. 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Laing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-d-laing-2/) > [What we call "normal" is a product of repression, denial, splitting, projection, introjection, and other forms of destructive actions on experience...It is radically estranged…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-d-laing/what-we-call-normal-is-a-product-of-repression-denial-splitting-2/) [R. D. Laing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-d-laing/) > [We've all experienced love. We love our parents, siblings, friends and even our pets, and they love us. 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Once when I was about 11 I stopped at the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/a-of-my-parents-floats-into-my-head-the-moment-i-close-my-eyes-once/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) ## More by Alice Miller > [Almost everywhere we find . . . the use of various coercive measures, to rid ourselves as quickly as possible of the child withinus--i.e.,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/almost-everywhere-we-find-the-use-of-various-coercive-measures-to-rid/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [Wherever I look, I see signs of the commandment to honor one's parents and nowhere of a commandment that calls for the respect of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/wherever-i-look-i-see-signs-of-the-commandment-to-honor-one-s-parents/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [The art of not experiencing feelings. 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