--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The commandment to refrain from placing…" description: "\"The commandment to refrain from placing blame on our parents, deeply imprinted in us by our upbringing, skillfully performs the function of hiding esse..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fda/alice-miller-3713_blame_the-commandment-to-refrain-from-placing_748898.png" --- # The commandment to refrain from placing blame on our… ![“The commandment to refrain from placing blame on our parents, deeply imprinted in us by our upbringing, skillfully performs the function of hiding essential truths from us.” quote by Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fda/alice-miller-3713_blame_the-commandment-to-refrain-from-placing_748898.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fda/alice-miller-3713_blame_the-commandment-to-refrain-from-placing_748898.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fda/alice-miller-3713_blame_the-commandment-to-refrain-from-placing_748898.png) > “The commandment to refrain from placing blame on our parents, deeply imprinted in us by our upbringing, skillfully performs the function of hiding essential truths from us.” [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Blaming parents is a learned habit that masks deeper truths, preventing authentic self‑understanding. **In simple terms:** Blaming parents hides deeper truths. Key Takeaway Seek truth beyond inherited narratives. Themes family blame self‑awareness psychology growth Mood introspective cautious Type psychological motivational When to use this quote - parenting - therapy - personal development - conflict resolution Key Concepts developmental psychology family dynamics self‑deception Questions to Reflect On - What truths might you be avoiding? - How can you confront family narratives responsibly? A Different Perspective Avoiding blame can also block accountability. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Blame](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/blame/) [Blame Parents](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/blame-parents-776013/) [Commandment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/commandment/) [Commandments](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/commandments/) [Essentials](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/essentials/) [Function](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/function/) [Hiding](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hiding/) [Imprinted Upbringing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/imprinted-upbringing-5829922/) [Parent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parent/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Parents Deeply](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parents-deeply-3414454/) [Refrain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/refrain/) [Truth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/truth/) [Upbringing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/upbringing/) [Upbringing Skillfully](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/upbringing-skillfully-5829921/) ## Related quotes > [My parents deeply and truly loved each other, and if my mother hadn't died they would have been together forever. They were together for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/my-parents-deeply-and-truly-loved-each-other-and-if-my-mother-hadn-t/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [My parents are deeply pious Hindus.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/akhil-sharma/my-parents-are-deeply-pious-hindus/) [Akhil Sharma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/akhil-sharma/) > [“Most of us are painfully aware that we’re not perfect parents. We’re also deeply grieved that we don’t have perfect kids. But the remedy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elyse-fitzpatrick/most-of-us-are-painfully-aware-that-we-re-not-perfect-parents-we-re/) [Elyse Fitzpatrick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elyse-fitzpatrick/) > [Till now, society has protected the adult and blamed the victim. It has been abetted in its blindness by theories, still in keeping with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/till-now-society-has-protected-the-adult-and-blamed-the-victim-it-has/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [Today I should not be identified with any kind of regressive therapy. Wherever I look, I see signs of the commandment to honor one's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/today-i-should-not-be-identified-with-any-kind-of-regressive-therapy-2/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [“Let's face it, we all got issues. Most of the time we can deal with our own overstuffed luggage, but every once in a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neal-shusterman/let-s-face-it-we-all-got-issues-most-of-the-time-we-can-deal-with-our/) [Neal Shusterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neal-shusterman/) > [“Do not blame your parents for not working hard enough to birth you with silver spoon in your mouth because tomorrow you will be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/agu-jaachynma-n-e-2/do-not-blame-your-parents-for-not-working-hard-enough-to-birth-you/) [Agu, Jaachynma N.E](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/agu-jaachynma-n-e-2/) > [“We look at the way some kids behave and instantly blame the parents, and more often than not we’re correct. The school bully is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karl-wiggins/we-look-at-the-way-some-kids-behave-and-instantly-blame-the-parents/) [Karl Wiggins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karl-wiggins/) > [“You don’t need to blame your parents for teaching you to be like them. What else could they teach you but what they know?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/miguel-ruiz/you-don-t-need-to-blame-your-parents-for-teaching-you-to-be-like-them/) [Miguel Ruiz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/miguel-ruiz/) > [I lived in a plenty tough neighborhood. When somebody called me a 'dirty little Guinea', there was only one thing to do-break his head.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-sinatra/i-lived-in-a-plenty-tough-neighborhood-when-somebody-called-me-a/) [Frank Sinatra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-sinatra/) > [“If there has to be an autopsy of the sordid past, let's blame the parents. Aren't they the primary suspects, anyway? As the eyewitness,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/goldberry-long/if-there-has-to-be-an-autopsy-of-the-sordid-past-let-s-blame-the/) [Goldberry Long](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/goldberry-long/) > [I lie and say I'm busy or I blame my parents but really I just want to be alone .](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maddy-marie/i-lie-and-say-i-m-busy-or-i-blame-my-parents-but-really-i-just-want/) [Maddy Marie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maddy-marie/) > [It's up to the parents to watch their kids and make sure their kids aren't doing any crazy drugs. I always blame the parents.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/juicy-j/it-s-up-to-the-parents-to-watch-their-kids-and-make-sure-their-kids/) [Juicy J](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/juicy-j/) > [“Blame the economy, blame bad luck, blame my parents, blame your parents, blame the Internet, blame people who use the Internet.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gillian-flynn/blame-the-economy-blame-bad-luck-blame-my-parents-blame-your-parents/) [Gillian Flynn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gillian-flynn/) > [I blame my parents for never introducing me to good music.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erin-foster/i-blame-my-parents-for-never-introducing-me-to-good-music/) [Erin Foster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erin-foster/) ## More by Alice Miller > [Almost everywhere we find . . . the use of various coercive measures, to rid ourselves as quickly as possible of the child withinus--i.e.,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/almost-everywhere-we-find-the-use-of-various-coercive-measures-to-rid/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [Wherever I look, I see signs of the commandment to honor one's parents and nowhere of a commandment that calls for the respect of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/wherever-i-look-i-see-signs-of-the-commandment-to-honor-one-s-parents/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [The art of not experiencing feelings. A child can experience her feelings only when there is somebody there who accepts her fully, understands her,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/the-art-of-not-experiencing-feelings-a-child-can-experience-her/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [Disrespect is the weapon of the weak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/disrespect-is-the-weapon-of-the-weak/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [“Even if one ultimately risks losing all contact with oneself and merely functioning as a mask, an "as if" personality, there are always drugs,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/even-if-one-ultimately-risks-losing-all-contact-with-oneself-and/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [“Thus he spent his whole life searching for his own truth, but it remained hidden to him because he had learned at a very…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/thus-he-spent-his-whole-life-searching-for-his-own-truth-but-it/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [“Most people do exactly the opposite. Without realizing that the past is constantly determining their present actions, they avoid learning anything about their history.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/most-people-do-exactly-the-opposite-without-realizing-that-the-past/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [People who, as children, were intellectually far beyond their parents and therefore admired by them, but who also therefore had to solve their own…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/people-who-as-children-were-intellectually-far-beyond-their-parents/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [Parents are indeed capable of routinely torturing their children without anyone interceding.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/parents-are-indeed-capable-of-routinely-torturing-their-children/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [Ultimately the body will rebel. Even if it can be temporarily pacified with the help of drugs, cigarettes or medicine, it usually has the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/ultimately-the-body-will-rebel-even-if-it-can-be-temporarily-pacified/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [The child has a primary need to be regarded and respected as the person he really is at any given time, and as the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/the-child-has-a-primary-need-to-be-regarded-and-respected-as-the/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [For some years now, there has been proof that the devastating effects of the traumatization of children take their inevitable tollon society--a fact that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/for-some-years-now-there-has-been-proof-that-the-devastating-effects/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [“The older we get, the more difficult it is to find other people who can give us the love our parents denied us. But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/the-older-we-get-the-more-difficult-it-is-to-find-other-people-who/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [It is very difficult for people to believe the simple fact that every persecutor was once a victim. Yet it should be very obvious…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/it-is-very-difficult-for-people-to-believe-the-simple-fact-that-every/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [We don't yet know, above all, what the world might be like if children were to grow up without being subjected to humiliation, if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/we-don-t-yet-know-above-all-what-the-world-might-be-like-if-children/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) [Explore all 120 Alice Miller quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) ## More Blame quotes > [“I have to blame myself for not finding any way of reaching him, but I can't feel that either Ruth or I had anything…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wallace-stegner/i-have-to-blame-myself-for-not-finding-any-way-of-reaching-him-but-i/) [Wallace Stegner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wallace-stegner/) > [Me mum used to always have the radio on - even now she has it on in every room. Me girlfriend sort of blames…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karl-pilkington/me-mum-used-to-always-have-the-radio-on-even-now-she-has-it-on-in/) [Karl Pilkington](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karl-pilkington/) > [I like to praise and reward loudly, to blame quietly.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/catherine-the-great/i-like-to-praise-and-reward-loudly-to-blame-quietly/) [Catherine the Great](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/catherine-the-great/) > [Some of the things that I said I hated to say, but blame yourself mother fucker you made it this way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jedi-mind-tricks/some-of-the-things-that-i-said-i-hated-to-say-but-blame-yourself/) [Jedi Mind Tricks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jedi-mind-tricks/) > [Holy shadows of the dead, I'm not to blame for your cruel and bitter fate, but the accursed rivalry which brought sister nations and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-the-great/holy-shadows-of-the-dead-i-m-not-to-blame-for-your-cruel-and-bitter/) [Alexander the Great](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-the-great/) > [“In places where government priorities and market imperatives create a world so capricious that to help a neighbor is to risk your ability to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katherine-boo/in-places-where-government-priorities-and-market-imperatives-create-a/) [Katherine Boo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katherine-boo/) > [“Stop Blaming Others For Your Own Actions”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexis-g-roldan/stop-blaming-others-for-your-own-actions/) [Alexis G. Roldan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexis-g-roldan/) > [We know from this book entitled... What is it? Surrendered? Succumbed? I can never remember the title perform. And we learn from this book…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rush-limbaugh/we-know-from-this-book-entitled-what-is-it-surrendered-succumbed-i/) [Rush Limbaugh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rush-limbaugh/) > [I don't blame anyone .. I did this to myself .. It's my fault .. Everything is my FAULT ...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nurnizz95/i-don-t-blame-anyone-i-did-this-to-myself-it-s-my-fault-everything-is/) [Nurnizz95](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nurnizz95/) > [“They would congratulate themselves every morning on keeping their integrity, and blame themselves each night for that missed opportunity.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/they-would-congratulate-themselves-every-morning-on-keeping-their/) [Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/) > [I try to live my life where I end up at a point where I have no regrets. So I try to choose the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darren-aronofsky/i-try-to-live-my-life-where-i-end-up-at-a-point-where-i-have-no/) [Darren Aronofsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darren-aronofsky/) > [How come you don't feel that magic in the air? I guess I knew you'll never be there. I guess I knew you never…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/how-come-you-don-t-feel-that-magic-in-the-air-i-guess-i-knew-you-ll/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I am down mentally. I can't understand how it happened and who is to blame? I don't know why the ground was rolled before…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yeasin-khan/i-am-down-mentally-i-can-t-understand-how-it-happened-and-who-is-to/) [Yeasin Khan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yeasin-khan/) > [A refusal to admit one's mistake & not accepting responsibility for that mistake by blaming everyone else, is d beginning of one's decline.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/a-refusal-to-admit-one-s-mistake-not-accepting-responsibility-for/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Listen, the guy was not created by coverage from MSNBC and CNN. If you want to blame us for making Donald Trump president because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katy-tur/listen-the-guy-was-not-created-by-coverage-from-msnbc-and-cnn-if-you/) [Katy Tur](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katy-tur/) [Browse all 3,779 Blame quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/blame/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The commandment to refrain from placing blame on our parents, deeply imprinted in us by our upbringing, skillfully performs the function of hiding essential truths from us.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Alice Miller" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/the-commandment-to-refrain-from-placing-blame-on-our-parents-deeply/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Blame" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/the-commandment-to-refrain-from-placing-blame-on-our-parents-deeply/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fda/alice-miller-3713_blame_the-commandment-to-refrain-from-placing_748898.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fda/alice-miller-3713_blame_the-commandment-to-refrain-from-placing_748898.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fda/alice-miller-3713_blame_the-commandment-to-refrain-from-placing_748898.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The commandment to refrain from placing blame on our parents, deeply imprinted in us by our upbringing…” — Alice Miller", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Alice Miller", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "The commandment to refrain from placing...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/the-commandment-to-refrain-from-placing-blame-on-our-parents-deeply/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/the-commandment-to-refrain-from-placing-blame-on-our-parents-deeply/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```