--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Quite often I have been faced with people…" description: "\"Quite often I have been faced with people who were praised and admired for their talents and their achievements... According to prevailing attitudes, t..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee2/alice-miller-3713_accomplished_quite-often-i-have-been-faced-with-peopl_699812.png" --- # Quite often I have been faced with people who were praised… ![“Quite often I have been faced with people who were praised and admired for their talents and their achievements... According to prevailing attitudes, these people-the pride and joy of their parents-should have had a strong and stable sense of self-assurance. But the case is exactly the opposite…” quote by Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee2/alice-miller-3713_accomplished_quite-often-i-have-been-faced-with-peopl_699812.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee2/alice-miller-3713_accomplished_quite-often-i-have-been-faced-with-peopl_699812.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee2/alice-miller-3713_accomplished_quite-often-i-have-been-faced-with-peopl_699812.png) > “Quite often I have been faced with people who were praised and admired for their talents and their achievements... According to prevailing attitudes, these people-the pride and joy of their parents-should have had a strong and stable sense of self-assurance. But the case is exactly the opposite... Whenever they suddenly get the feeling they have failed to live up to some ideal image or have not measured up to some standard, then they are plagued by anxiety or deep feelings of guilt and shame. What are the reasons for such disturbances in these competent, accomplished people?” [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. High expectations from others can create inner conflict, leading competent anxiety and shame when self‑image doesn’t match external praise. **In simple terms:** External praise can cause inner insecurity. Key Takeaway Recognize and separate self‑worth from external validation. Themes self‑esteem expectations psychology Mood reflective concerned Type psychological insightful When to use this quote - parenting - career advancement - creative professions - leadership roles Key Concepts identity self‑concept social pressure Questions to Reflect On - How do you define success beyond others' approval? - What inner resources can you develop to buffer external pressure? A Different Perspective Even praised individuals may lack internal validation, making them vulnerable to self‑criticism. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Achievement](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/achievement/) [Anxiety](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anxiety/) [Assurance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/assurance/) [Attitude](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/attitude/) [Confidence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/confidence/) [Deep feeling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/deep-feeling/) [Feelings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feelings/) [Guilt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/guilt/) [Guilt And Shame](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/guilt-and-shame/) [Ideals](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ideals/) [Joy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/joy/) [Opposites](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/opposites/) [Parent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parent/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Pride](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pride/) [Reason](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/reason/) [Regret](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/regret/) [Self](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self/) [Self assurance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-assurance/) [Sense of self](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sense-of-self/) [Shame](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shame/) [Success](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/success/) [Talent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/talent/) ## Related quotes > [We are all familiar with the feelings of guilt and shame. They are really bothersome and nagging emotions that dont go away that easily.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dranil-kr-sinha/we-are-all-familiar-with-the-feelings-of-guilt-and-shame-they-are/) [DrAnil Kr Sinha](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dranil-kr-sinha/) > [When you do something that maybe wasn't the best thing to do at the time, you don't want to hold onto those feelings of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-w-k/when-you-do-something-that-maybe-wasn-t-the-best-thing-to-do-at-the/) [Andrew W.K](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-w-k/) > [There is a certain kind of pain that can change you. Even the strongest sword, when placed in a raging fire, will soften and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-gidwitz/there-is-a-certain-kind-of-pain-that-can-change-you-even-the/) [Adam Gidwitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-gidwitz/) > [I would rather have these things weigh on my mind. At the end of this tunnel of guilt and shame, there must be a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ani-difranco/i-would-rather-have-these-things-weigh-on-my-mind-at-the-end-of-this/) [Ani DiFranco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ani-difranco/) > [Our life is so short that every time I see my children, I enjoy them as much as I can. Whenever I can, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/miguel-angel-ruiz/our-life-is-so-short-that-every-time-i-see-my-children-i-enjoy-them/) [Miguel Angel Ruiz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/miguel-angel-ruiz/) > [“When I think about all the time I wasted feeling guilty and ashamed about things I should have embraced long ago, it fills me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathan-rabin/when-i-think-about-all-the-time-i-wasted-feeling-guilty-and-ashamed/) [Nathan Rabin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathan-rabin/) > [Responsibilites and expectations are the basis of guilt and shame and judgement, and they provide the essential framework that promotes performance as the basis…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-p-young/responsibilites-and-expectations-are-the-basis-of-guilt-and-shame-and/) [William P. Young](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-p-young/) > [Child abuse is one of those issues that's very difficult to talk about because it's surrounded by guilt and shame and so on, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-hemsworth/child-abuse-is-one-of-those-issues-that-s-very-difficult-to-talk/) [Chris Hemsworth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-hemsworth/) > [The difference between guilt and shame is very clear--in theory. We feel guilty for what we do. We feel shame for what we are.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/the-difference-between-guilt-and-shame-is-very-clear-in-theory-we/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [“Hell existed in the imagination of those who feared it, because of the guilt and shame they carried with them after death.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrea-barbosa/hell-existed-in-the-imagination-of-those-who-feared-it-because-of-the/) [Andrea Barbosa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrea-barbosa/) > [Emotions like guilt and shame cut you off from web of existence and that causes inflammation in the body. I would recommend that you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deepak-chopra/emotions-like-guilt-and-shame-cut-you-off-from-web-of-existence-and/) [Deepak Chopra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deepak-chopra/) > [“The scene was not without a mixture of awe, such as must always invest the spectacle of guilt and shame in a fellow creature,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-hawthorne/the-scene-was-not-without-a-mixture-of-awe-such-as-must-always-invest/) [Nathaniel Hawthorne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-hawthorne/) > [“Comfort came in and stood with an appearance of guilt and shame. Her head bent, her eyes soaked with tears, her hands and legs,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-bassey-johnson/comfort-came-in-and-stood-with-an-appearance-of-guilt-and-shame-her/) [Michael Bassey Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-bassey-johnson/) > [I had a lot of guilt and shame when I was running from God, but nothing like when I was running for God. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jud-wilhite/i-had-a-lot-of-guilt-and-shame-when-i-was-running-from-god-but/) [Jud Wilhite](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jud-wilhite/) > [“But love of our parents is the only love for which we are not responsible. And perhaps we are responsible even for the love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernhard-schlink/but-love-of-our-parents-is-the-only-love-for-which-we-are-not/) [Bernhard Schlink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernhard-schlink/) ## More by Alice Miller > [Almost everywhere we find . . . the use of various coercive measures, to rid ourselves as quickly as possible of the child withinus--i.e.,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/almost-everywhere-we-find-the-use-of-various-coercive-measures-to-rid/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [Wherever I look, I see signs of the commandment to honor one's parents and nowhere of a commandment that calls for the respect of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/wherever-i-look-i-see-signs-of-the-commandment-to-honor-one-s-parents/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [The art of not experiencing feelings. A child can experience her feelings only when there is somebody there who accepts her fully, understands her,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/the-art-of-not-experiencing-feelings-a-child-can-experience-her/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [Disrespect is the weapon of the weak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/disrespect-is-the-weapon-of-the-weak/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [“Even if one ultimately risks losing all contact with oneself and merely functioning as a mask, an "as if" personality, there are always drugs,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/even-if-one-ultimately-risks-losing-all-contact-with-oneself-and/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [“Thus he spent his whole life searching for his own truth, but it remained hidden to him because he had learned at a very…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/thus-he-spent-his-whole-life-searching-for-his-own-truth-but-it/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [“Most people do exactly the opposite. Without realizing that the past is constantly determining their present actions, they avoid learning anything about their history.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/most-people-do-exactly-the-opposite-without-realizing-that-the-past/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [People who, as children, were intellectually far beyond their parents and therefore admired by them, but who also therefore had to solve their own…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/people-who-as-children-were-intellectually-far-beyond-their-parents/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [Parents are indeed capable of routinely torturing their children without anyone interceding.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/parents-are-indeed-capable-of-routinely-torturing-their-children/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [Ultimately the body will rebel. 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But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/the-older-we-get-the-more-difficult-it-is-to-find-other-people-who/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [It is very difficult for people to believe the simple fact that every persecutor was once a victim. Yet it should be very obvious…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/it-is-very-difficult-for-people-to-believe-the-simple-fact-that-every/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [We don't yet know, above all, what the world might be like if children were to grow up without being subjected to humiliation, if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/we-don-t-yet-know-above-all-what-the-world-might-be-like-if-children/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) [Explore all 120 Alice Miller quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) ## More Accomplished quotes > [I never believed in trying to do anything. Whatever I set out to do I found I had already accomplished.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johann-wolfgang-von-goethe/i-never-believed-in-trying-to-do-anything-whatever-i-set-out-to-do-i/) [Johann Wolfgang von Goethe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johann-wolfgang-von-goethe/) > [This is, for an accomplished Latino, an accomplished African American, an accomplished anyone who disproves stereotypes, it's a constant battle in your life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonia-sotomayor/this-is-for-an-accomplished-latino-an-accomplished-african-american/) [Sonia Sotomayor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonia-sotomayor/) > [When you have accomplished your goal simply walk away. This is the path way to Heaven.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laozi/when-you-have-accomplished-your-goal-simply-walk-away-this-is-the/) [Laozi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laozi/) > [... even the most sublimely accomplished non-stop talker can't consistently please.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/even-the-most-sublimely-accomplished-non-stop-talker-can-t/) [J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/) > [ \[U\]nless oppressed groups stick together, and on alliances of self interest rather than do-goodism; nothing can be accomplished in the long run to dismantle… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shulamith-firestone/u-nless-oppressed-groups-stick-together-and-on-alliances-of-self/) [Shulamith Firestone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shulamith-firestone/) > [Alas, you don't need monsters for monstrous deeds to be accomplished.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zygmunt-bauman/alas-you-don-t-need-monsters-for-monstrous-deeds-to-be-accomplished/) [Zygmunt Bauman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zygmunt-bauman/) > [Like all writers, he measured the achievements of others by what they had accomplished, asking of them that they measure him by what he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jorge-luis-borges/like-all-writers-he-measured-the-achievements-of-others-by-what-they/) [Jorge Luis Borges](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jorge-luis-borges/) > [I'm proud of what I've accomplished and that is empowering.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/violet-chachki/i-m-proud-of-what-i-ve-accomplished-and-that-is-empowering/) [Violet Chachki](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/violet-chachki/) > [We do not know today whether we are busy or idle. In times when we thought ourselves indolent, we have afterwards discovered that much…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-waldo-emerson/we-do-not-know-today-whether-we-are-busy-or-idle-in-times-when-we/) [Ralph Waldo Emerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-waldo-emerson/) > [I don't know Beyoncé, but I have the impression that she's sincere, that she really is a feminist and wanted to put the word…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/i-don-t-know-beyonc-but-i-have-the-impression-that-she-s-sincere-that/) [Gloria Steinem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-steinem/) > [The gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labour is immense.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arnold-bennett/the-gain-in-self-confidence-of-having-accomplished-a-tiresome-labour/) [Arnold Bennett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arnold-bennett/) > [With Epcot Center, the Disney corporation has accomplished something I didn't think possible in today's world. They have created a land of make-believe that's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/with-epcot-center-the-disney-corporation-has-accomplished-something-i/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Listing the polar bear under the Endangered Species Act could harm bear conservation efforts by eliminating revenues from the carefully-regulated sport hunting of polar…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-ridenour/listing-the-polar-bear-under-the-endangered-species-act-could-harm/) Amy Ridenour > [“Great things can be accomplished, when it doesnt matter who gets the credit.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ronald-reagan/great-things-can-be-accomplished-when-it-doesnt-matter-who-gets-the/) [Ronald Reagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ronald-reagan/) > [If I could inspire you for even a moment to be yourself and love yourself, and not let what anyone has to say hinder…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joshua-neal-hartry/if-i-could-inspire-you-for-even-a-moment-to-be-yourself-and-love/) [Joshua Neal Hartry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joshua-neal-hartry/) Browse all 1,379 Accomplished quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Quite often I have been faced with people who were praised and admired for their talents and their achievements... 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