--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Probably every child who has suffered…" description: "\"“Probably every child who has suffered abuse must assume an attitude like this in order to survive. These children reinterpret their perceptions in a d..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/373/alice-miller-3713_children_probably-every-child-who-has-suffered-ab_3019559.jpg" --- # Probably every child who has suffered abuse must assume an… ![“Probably every child who has suffered abuse must assume an attitude like this in order to survive. These children reinterpret their perceptions in a desperate attempt to see as good and beneficial things that outside observers would immediately classify as crimes. Children have no choice. They…” quote by Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/373/alice-miller-3713_children_probably-every-child-who-has-suffered-ab_3019559.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/373/alice-miller-3713_children_probably-every-child-who-has-suffered-ab_3019559.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/373/alice-miller-3713_children_probably-every-child-who-has-suffered-ab_3019559.jpg) > ““Probably every child who has suffered abuse must assume an attitude like this in order to survive. These children reinterpret their perceptions in a desperate attempt to see as good and beneficial things that outside observers would immediately classify as crimes. Children have no choice. They must repress their true feelings if they have no "helping witness" to turn to and are helplessly exposed to their persecutors. Later, as adults lucky enough to encounter "enlightened witnesses", they do have a choice. Then they can admit the truth, their truth; they can stop pitying and "understanding" their persecutors, stop trying to feel their unsustainable, disassociated emotions, and roundly denounce the things that have been done to them.”” [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Survivors of abuse often suppress true feelings without supportive witnesses, later needing enlightened allies to reclaim truth. **In simple terms:** Abuse victims repress feelings; need supportive witnesses. Key Takeaway Seek supportive allies to heal. Themes trauma survival psychology Mood somber hopeful Type psychological motivational When to use this quote - therapy sessions - support groups - personal reflection Key Concepts repression witnessing truth healing Questions to Reflect On - Who can be your enlightened witness? - How do you confront suppressed emotions? A Different Perspective Healing can be hindered without safe environments. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [True feelings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/true-feelings/) ## Related quotes > [“In every adult who has suffered abuse as a child lies dormant that small child's fear of punishment at the hands of the parents…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/in-every-adult-who-has-suffered-abuse-as-a-child-lies-dormant-that/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [There are many reasons for violence. This is just something that sometimes happens. 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Experience has taught…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-gallagher-jr/most-of-the-people-we-see-don-t-want-to-live-in-a-shelter-and-feel/) [John Gallagher, Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-gallagher-jr/) > [Maleficent has suffered abuse in the past, and there's a reason why she is now as furious as she is. And I think that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/angelina-jolie/maleficent-has-suffered-abuse-in-the-past-and-there-s-a-reason-why/) [Angelina Jolie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/angelina-jolie/) > [“This ability of the body is a source of never-ending wonder to me. It fights against lies with a tenacity and a shrewdness that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/this-ability-of-the-body-is-a-source-of-never-ending-wonder-to-me-it/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [“As a rule, beaten, tormented, and humiliated children who have never received support from a helping witness later develop a high degree of tolerance…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/as-a-rule-beaten-tormented-and-humiliated-children-who-have-never/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [“Of course, people who have been severed from their true feelings since early childhood will be dependent on institutions like the church and will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/of-course-people-who-have-been-severed-from-their-true-feelings-since/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [Love never demands expectations but true feelings, the most, that matters.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/farid/love-never-demands-expectations-but-true-feelings-the-most-that/) [Farid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/farid/) > [The true feeling of sex is that of a deep intimacy, but above all of a deep complicity…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-dickey/the-true-feeling-of-sex-is-that-of-a-deep-intimacy-but-above-all-of-a/) [James Dickey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-dickey/) > [ \[Ridicule\] laughs at all those who see the earnestness of life and who still believe in true feelings and in serious thought ... It… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/madame-de-stael/ridicule-laughs-at-all-those-who-see-the-earnestness-of-life-and-who/) [Madame de Stael](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/madame-de-stael/) > [“That's the thing about being hooked on a girl. You see what else is going on around you. You notice other girls. But it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susane-colasanti/that-s-the-thing-about-being-hooked-on-a-girl-you-see-what-else-is/) [Susane Colasanti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susane-colasanti/) > [To deny your true feelings for the one you love will only cause them to have a broken heart, and will not allow your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/to-deny-your-true-feelings-for-the-one-you-love-will-only-cause-them/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Yeah, you're right. It's lonely being by yourself. But, unless you do something about the situation... things will never change. If you want to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/yeah-you-re-right-it-s-lonely-being-by-yourself-but-unless-you-do/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) ## More by Alice Miller > [Almost everywhere we find . . . the use of various coercive measures, to rid ourselves as quickly as possible of the child withinus--i.e.,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/almost-everywhere-we-find-the-use-of-various-coercive-measures-to-rid/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [Wherever I look, I see signs of the commandment to honor one's parents and nowhere of a commandment that calls for the respect of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/wherever-i-look-i-see-signs-of-the-commandment-to-honor-one-s-parents/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [The art of not experiencing feelings. A child can experience her feelings only when there is somebody there who accepts her fully, understands her,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/the-art-of-not-experiencing-feelings-a-child-can-experience-her/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [Disrespect is the weapon of the weak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/disrespect-is-the-weapon-of-the-weak/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [“Even if one ultimately risks losing all contact with oneself and merely functioning as a mask, an "as if" personality, there are always drugs,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/even-if-one-ultimately-risks-losing-all-contact-with-oneself-and/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [“Thus he spent his whole life searching for his own truth, but it remained hidden to him because he had learned at a very…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/thus-he-spent-his-whole-life-searching-for-his-own-truth-but-it/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [“Most people do exactly the opposite. 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Even if it can be temporarily pacified with the help of drugs, cigarettes or medicine, it usually has the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/ultimately-the-body-will-rebel-even-if-it-can-be-temporarily-pacified/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [The child has a primary need to be regarded and respected as the person he really is at any given time, and as the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/the-child-has-a-primary-need-to-be-regarded-and-respected-as-the/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [For some years now, there has been proof that the devastating effects of the traumatization of children take their inevitable tollon society--a fact that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/for-some-years-now-there-has-been-proof-that-the-devastating-effects/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [“The older we get, the more difficult it is to find other people who can give us the love our parents denied us. But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/the-older-we-get-the-more-difficult-it-is-to-find-other-people-who/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [It is very difficult for people to believe the simple fact that every persecutor was once a victim. Yet it should be very obvious…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/it-is-very-difficult-for-people-to-believe-the-simple-fact-that-every/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [We don't yet know, above all, what the world might be like if children were to grow up without being subjected to humiliation, if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/we-don-t-yet-know-above-all-what-the-world-might-be-like-if-children/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) [Explore all 120 Alice Miller quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) ## More Children quotes > [I am certain that children always know more than they are able to tell, and that makes the big difference between them and adults,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacques-lusseyran/i-am-certain-that-children-always-know-more-than-they-are-able-to/) [Jacques Lusseyran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jacques-lusseyran/) > [Behind every successful child is an adult who believed in him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-warren/behind-every-successful-child-is-an-adult-who-believed-in-him/) [Rick Warren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-warren/) > [I believe in freedom to do what you want if you aren't hurting others, but pictures of obese protesters giving their children big gulps.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philip-defranco/i-believe-in-freedom-to-do-what-you-want-if-you-aren-t-hurting-others/) [Philip DeFranco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philip-defranco/) > [If the audience likes your work, if they like you, they don't think whether you are married or have children or not. I made…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dimple-kapadia/if-the-audience-likes-your-work-if-they-like-you-they-don-t-think/) [Dimple Kapadia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dimple-kapadia/) > [It doesnt seem to me strange that children should like the macabre, the sensational, and the forbidden.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-hecht/it-doesnt-seem-to-me-strange-that-children-should-like-the-macabre/) [Anthony Hecht](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-hecht/) > [Let children support their parents or be imprisoned.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/let-children-support-their-parents-or-be-imprisoned/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Gratitude isn't just a feeling, it's an action. Expressing gratitude by writing in a journal, taking a photo, or shooting a video creates a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janice-kaplan/gratitude-isn-t-just-a-feeling-it-s-an-action-expressing-gratitude-by/) [Janice Kaplan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janice-kaplan/) > [My embarrassing confession is that my father is a 'Camelot: The Musical' obsessive. So as a child, when we were going to visit relatives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-chibnall/my-embarrassing-confession-is-that-my-father-is-a-camelot-the-musical/) [Chris Chibnall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-chibnall/) > [I have many who keep me going, I am very fortunate in this sense. There is nothing like a child who knows more about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/floyd-cooper/i-have-many-who-keep-me-going-i-am-very-fortunate-in-this-sense-there/) [Floyd Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/floyd-cooper/) > [My school was one of the most beautiful places a child can grow up in. You are surrounded by nature - cats, dogs, birds…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amala-akkineni/my-school-was-one-of-the-most-beautiful-places-a-child-can-grow-up-in/) [Amala Akkineni](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amala-akkineni/) > [A lesser complaint: hair extensions. There are moments on 'All My Children' when half the women actors, young and old, seem to be afflicted…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/camille-paglia/a-lesser-complaint-hair-extensions-there-are-moments-on-all-my/) [Camille Paglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/camille-paglia/) > [As a child, I had a lot of older gay men taking care of me. There's a trust there. I feel like little girls…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-cho/as-a-child-i-had-a-lot-of-older-gay-men-taking-care-of-me-there-s-a/) [Margaret Cho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-cho/) > [If my child had prejudice in his head, I'd be ashamed. 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