--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Why do I take a blade and slash my arms?…" description: "\"“Why do I take a blade and slash my arms? Why do I drink myself into a stupor? Why do I swallow bottles of pills and end up in A&E having my stomach pu..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c6/alice-jamieson-21585_abuse_why-do-i-take-a-blade-and-slash-my-arms_202386.jpg" --- # Why do I take a blade and slash my arms? Why do I drink… ![“Why do I take a blade and slash my arms? Why do I drink myself into a stupor? Why do I swallow bottles of pills and end up in A&E having my stomach pumped? Am I seeking attention? Showing off? The pain of the cuts releases the mental pain of the memories, but the pain of healing lasts weeks. After…” quote by Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c6/alice-jamieson-21585_abuse_why-do-i-take-a-blade-and-slash-my-arms_202386.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c6/alice-jamieson-21585_abuse_why-do-i-take-a-blade-and-slash-my-arms_202386.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c6/alice-jamieson-21585_abuse_why-do-i-take-a-blade-and-slash-my-arms_202386.jpg) > ““Why do I take a blade and slash my arms? Why do I drink myself into a stupor? Why do I swallow bottles of pills and end up in A&E having my stomach pumped? Am I seeking attention? Showing off? The pain of the cuts releases the mental pain of the memories, but the pain of healing lasts weeks. After every self-harming or overdosing incident I run the risk of being sectioned and returned to a psychiatric institution, a harrowing prospect I would not recommend to anyone. So, why do I do it? I don't. If I had power over the alters, I'd stop them. I don't have that power. When they are out, they're out. I experience blank spells and lose time, consciousness, dignity. If I, Alice Jamieson, wanted attention, I would have completed my PhD and started to climb the academic career ladder. Flaunting the label 'doctor' is more attention-grabbing that lying drained of hope in hospital with steri-strips up your arms and the vile taste of liquid charcoal absorbing the chemicals in your stomach. In most things we do, we anticipate some reward or payment. We study for status and to get better jobs; we work for money; our children are little mirrors of our social standing; the charity donation and trip to Oxfam make us feel good. Every kindness carries the potential gift of a responding kindness: you reap what you sow. There is no advantage in my harming myself; no reason for me to invent delusional memories of incest and ritual abuse. There is nothing to be gained in an A&E department.”” [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The speaker describes self‑harm and overdose as coping mechanisms for deep psychological pain, yet recognizes they bring no benefit and only risk further harm and institutionalization. **In simple terms:** Self‑harm is a harmful coping attempt that offers no real relief. Key Takeaway Seek healthier coping strategies and professional help. Themes mental health self‑harm coping stigma psychology Mood painful reflective hopeful Type personal narrative cautionary When to use this quote - clinical therapy - support groups - emergency care - mindfulness practices - psychiatric evaluation Key Concepts dissociation trauma addiction identity fragmentation Questions to Reflect On - What alternative coping mechanisms could replace self‑harm? - How can support systems better address underlying trauma? A Different Perspective The narrative may not capture the full complexity of mental illness and can unintentionally romanticize suffering. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Abuse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/abuse/) [Alcohol](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alcohol/) [Alcoholic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alcoholic/) [Alter-personalities](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alter-personalities/) [Alters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alters/) [Attention](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/attention/) [Dissociation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dissociation/) [Dissociative](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dissociative/) [Dissociative-identity-disorder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dissociative-identity-disorder/) [Emergency](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/emergency/) [Healing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/healing/) [Incest](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/incest/) [Memories](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/memories/) [Mental health](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mental-health/) [Mental illness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mental-illness/) [Mental pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mental-pain/) [Multiple personality disorder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/multiple-personality-disorder/) [Overdose](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/overdose/) [Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain/) [Psychological](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/psychological/) [Reap What You Sow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/reap-what-you-sow/) [Seeking Attention](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/seeking-attention/) [Self harm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-harm/) [Self harming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-harming/) [Split personality](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/split-personality/) [Suicide-attempt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/suicide-attempt/) [Survivor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/survivor/) [Trauma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/trauma/) [Victim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/victim/) ## Related quotes > [“The only real, true, permanent way to destroy your mind control is to work through the memories. It's unfortunate because it's unpleasant. It hurts…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-miller/the-only-real-true-permanent-way-to-destroy-your-mind-control-is-to/) [Alison Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-miller/) > [“A person's memories and their actual experiences are surprisingly different. Sometimes the gap between them causes pain. But the memories that make the biggest…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sakura-tsukuba/a-person-s-memories-and-their-actual-experiences-are-surprisingly/) [Sakura Tsukuba](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sakura-tsukuba/) > [The biggest irony of relationship is the unending pain of memories still remain alive in hearts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sushan/the-biggest-irony-of-relationship-is-the-unending-pain-of-memories/) [Sushan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sushan/) > [“But the pain, the memories--those were the toughest. They'd come at you out of nowhere.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-r-cornelius/but-the-pain-the-memories-those-were-the-toughest-they-d-come-at-you/) M.R. Cornelius > [“Time leeches most horror and pain from our memories.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marisha-pessl/time-leeches-most-horror-and-pain-from-our-memories/) [Marisha Pessl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marisha-pessl/) > [“We may forget the pain, but the memories are always painted in our heart.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john/we-may-forget-the-pain-but-the-memories-are-always-painted-in-our/) [john](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john/) > [“All that is left to bring you pain, are the memories. If you face those, you’ll be free. You can’t spend the rest of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-stroube/all-that-is-left-to-bring-you-pain-are-the-memories-if-you-face-those/) [J.D. Stroube](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-stroube/) > [“Though no longer living in silence, I continued to carry pain and memories.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erin-merryn/though-no-longer-living-in-silence-i-continued-to-carry-pain-and/) [Erin Merryn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erin-merryn/) > [Time can only heal the pain not memories.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-ngetich/time-can-only-heal-the-pain-not-memories/) [Patrick Ngetich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-ngetich/) > [“Anyway, these ideas or feelings or ramblings had their satisfactions. They turned the pain of others into memories of one’s own. They turned pain,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roberto-bola-o/anyway-these-ideas-or-feelings-or-ramblings-had-their-satisfactions/) [Roberto Bolaño](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roberto-bola-o/) > [Just when I'm finally over you, when you're no longer on my mind. When I'm finally happy, you come back and bring all the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/just-when-i-m-finally-over-you-when-you-re-no-longer-on-my-mind-when/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [What triggers pain? Memories. What can heal pain? Time. How can you forget pain? Move on.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/what-triggers-pain-memories-what-can-heal-pain-time-how-can-you/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Lord get my pain So I can forgive the people Who hurts me And help to forget the pain of memories.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marianette-carbito/lord-get-my-pain-so-i-can-forgive-the-people-who-hurts-me-and-help-to/) [Marianette Carbito](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marianette-carbito/) > [The vertical lines that run down his forearms are the most disturbing, thick and jagged as if someone took a razor to his skin.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-sorensen/the-vertical-lines-that-run-down-his-forearms-are-the-most-disturbing/) [Jessica Sorensen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-sorensen/) > [In visions of the night, like dropping rain, Descend the many memories of pain.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aeschylus/in-visions-of-the-night-like-dropping-rain-descend-the-many-memories/) [Aeschylus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aeschylus/) ## More by Alice Jamieson > [“The word is dissociate. There is no 'a' before the 'ss'. People invariably say dis-a-ssociate, which, if you're suffering Disso-ciative Identity Disorder/Multiple Personality Disorder,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/the-word-is-dissociate-there-is-no-a-before-the-ss-people-invariably/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“It’s hard to feel supported when you can’t tell people everything. People haven’t really got a clue what it’s like. It’s hard to trust…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/it-s-hard-to-feel-supported-when-you-can-t-tell-people-everything/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“If I was set an essay on Friday, I’d spend three hours on Saturday morning in the library. Was that normal? I didn’t know.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/if-i-was-set-an-essay-on-friday-i-d-spend-three-hours-on-saturday/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“When the black thing was at its worst, when the illicit cocktails and the ten-mile runs stopped working, I would feel numb as if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/when-the-black-thing-was-at-its-worst-when-the-illicit-cocktails-and/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“PART 2 I felt doomed to death, But in a flash, Before I could reduce my thoughts To an emotion, I felt a mass…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/part-2-i-felt-doomed-to-death-but-in-a-flash-before-i-could-reduce-my/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“Weird? Absurd? That’s how it seemed to me. I had these forces, these compunctions, these alternative personalities inside me, driving me. It was like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/weird-absurd-that-s-how-it-seemed-to-me-i-had-these-forces-these/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“When sleep came, I would dream bad dreams. Not the baby and the big man with a cigarette-lighter dream. Another dream. The castle dream.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/when-sleep-came-i-would-dream-bad-dreams-not-the-baby-and-the-big-man/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“Of course, I should have known the kids would pop out in the atmosphere of Roberta's office. That's what they do when Alice is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/of-course-i-should-have-known-the-kids-would-pop-out-in-the/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“Once I had found the courage to tell Rebecca about the children in my head, it wasn't so hard in the coming months to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/once-i-had-found-the-courage-to-tell-rebecca-about-the-children-in-my/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“During this hour in the waking streets I felt at ease, at peace; my body, which I despised, operated like a machine. I was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/during-this-hour-in-the-waking-streets-i-felt-at-ease-at-peace-my/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“When I was cooking I enjoyed a sense of being ‘out’ of myself. The action of dicing vegetables and warming oil made my hands…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/when-i-was-cooking-i-enjoyed-a-sense-of-being-out-of-myself-the/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“One weekend it rained for 48 hours without stopping. The rain beat like bony fingers against the window panes. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/one-weekend-it-rained-for-48-hours-without-stopping-the-rain-beat/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“Some alters are what Dr Ross describes in Multiple Personality Disorder as 'fragments', which are 'relatively limited psychic states that express only one feeling,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/some-alters-are-what-dr-ross-describes-in-multiple-personality/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“Some alters are what Dr Ross describes in Multiple Personality Disorder as 'fragments'. which are 'relatively limited psychic states that express only one feeling,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/some-alters-are-what-dr-ross-describes-in-multiple-personality-2/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“Just as sometimes I wondered if Grandpa had ever existed, sometimes I wondered if I truly existed myself. As I was running, I could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/just-as-sometimes-i-wondered-if-grandpa-had-ever-existed-sometimes-i/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) [Explore all 28 Alice Jamieson quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) ## More Abuse quotes > [I wrote when I was a young teen, but I didn't put an eye on the available markets until I was seventeen. The next…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-reed/i-wrote-when-i-was-a-young-teen-but-i-didn-t-put-an-eye-on-the/) [Robert Reed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-reed/) > [Amongst the financial Twitterati, the term 'muppets' has come to describe any client used and abused by some financial predator. I've adopted the term…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barry-ritholtz/amongst-the-financial-twitterati-the-term-muppets-has-come-to/) [Barry Ritholtz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barry-ritholtz/) > [Being nice is okay,but don't allow anybody to abuse it...try to fight for your self when you know your on the right way...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/being-nice-is-okay-but-don-t-allow-anybody-to-abuse-it-try-to-fight/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Build a bridge over shame by teaching kids about sexual abuse. Give them a chance to run to us should they encounter it. Be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-byers-ruch/build-a-bridge-over-shame-by-teaching-kids-about-sexual-abuse-give/) [Carolyn Byers Ruch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-byers-ruch/) > [It is sure that those are most desirous of honour or glory who cry out loudest of its abuse and the vanity of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/baruch-spinoza/it-is-sure-that-those-are-most-desirous-of-honour-or-glory-who-cry/) [Baruch Spinoza](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/baruch-spinoza/) > [“The sole reason I stand to open it up now is that lots of people who are in pain just like I was, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-dsouza/the-sole-reason-i-stand-to-open-it-up-now-is-that-lots-of-people-who/) [Patricia Dsouza](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-dsouza/) > [Democracy must be built through open societies that share information. When there is information, there is enlightenment. When there is debate, there are solutions.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/atifete-jahjaga/democracy-must-be-built-through-open-societies-that-share-information/) [Atifete Jahjaga](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/atifete-jahjaga/) > [I have a theory that all abuse, no matter what kind of abuse it is, is foremost an assault on the mind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-westover/i-have-a-theory-that-all-abuse-no-matter-what-kind-of-abuse-it-is-is/) [Tara Westover](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-westover/) > [“Blaming therapy, social work and other caring professions for the confabulation of testimony of 'satanic ritual abuse' legitimated a programme of political and social…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-salter/blaming-therapy-social-work-and-other-caring-professions-for-the/) [Michael Salter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-salter/) > [Finally, the scariest thing about abuse of any shape or form, is, in my opinion, not the abuse itself, but that if it continues…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-cumming/finally-the-scariest-thing-about-abuse-of-any-shape-or-form-is-in-my/) [Alan Cumming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-cumming/) > [“Research on organised abuse emphasises the diversity of organised abuse cases, and the ways in which serious forms of child maltreatment cluster in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-salter/research-on-organised-abuse-emphasises-the-diversity-of-organised/) [Michael Salter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-salter/) > [“Stand up for yourself. Never give any one permission to abuse you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lailah-gifty-akita/stand-up-for-yourself-never-give-any-one-permission-to-abuse-you/) [Lailah Gifty Akita](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lailah-gifty-akita/) > [All governments should be pressured to correct their abuses of human rights.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-stallman/all-governments-should-be-pressured-to-correct-their-abuses-of-human/) [Richard Stallman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-stallman/) > [“Words are free. It does not mean you should abuse them. Be kind with them. They will mirror your actions.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hadinet-tekie/words-are-free-it-does-not-mean-you-should-abuse-them-be-kind-with/) [Hadinet Tekie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hadinet-tekie/) > [My illness is one often characterized by dramatic overspending - in my case through frenzied shopping sprees, credit card abuse, excessive hoarding of unnecessary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-behrman/my-illness-is-one-often-characterized-by-dramatic-overspending-in-my/) [Andy Behrman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-behrman/) [Browse all 3,113 Abuse quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/abuse/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Why do I take a blade and slash my arms? Why do I drink myself into a stupor? Why do I swallow bottles of pills and end up in A&E having my stomach pumped? Am I seeking attention? Showing off? The pain of the cuts releases the mental pain of the memories, but the pain of healing lasts weeks. After every self-harming or overdosing incident I run the risk of being sectioned and returned to a psychiatric institution, a harrowing prospect I would not recommend to anyone. So, why do I do it? I don't. If I had power over the alters, I'd stop them. I don't have that power. When they are out, they're out. I experience blank spells and lose time, consciousness, dignity. If I, Alice Jamieson, wanted attention, I would have completed my PhD and started to climb the academic career ladder. Flaunting the label 'doctor' is more attention-grabbing that lying drained of hope in hospital with steri-strips up your arms and the vile taste of liquid charcoal absorbing the chemicals in your stomach. In most things we do, we anticipate some reward or payment. We study for status and to get better jobs; we work for money; our children are little mirrors of our social standing; the charity donation and trip to Oxfam make us feel good. Every kindness carries the potential gift of a responding kindness: you reap what you sow. There is no advantage in my harming myself; no reason for me to invent delusional memories of incest and ritual abuse. There is nothing to be gained in an A&E department.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Alice Jamieson" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/why-do-i-take-a-blade-and-slash-my-arms-why-do-i-drink-myself-into-a/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Abuse" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/why-do-i-take-a-blade-and-slash-my-arms-why-do-i-drink-myself-into-a/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c6/alice-jamieson-21585_abuse_why-do-i-take-a-blade-and-slash-my-arms_202386.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c6/alice-jamieson-21585_abuse_why-do-i-take-a-blade-and-slash-my-arms_202386.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c6/alice-jamieson-21585_abuse_why-do-i-take-a-blade-and-slash-my-arms_202386.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Why do I take a blade and slash my arms? 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