--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Just as sometimes I wondered if Grandpa…" description: "\"“Just as sometimes I wondered if Grandpa had ever existed, sometimes I wondered if I truly existed myself. As I was running, I could see myself from ou..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db3/alice-jamieson-21585_abuse_just-as-sometimes-i-wondered-if-grandpa_1310241.jpg" --- # Just as sometimes I wondered if Grandpa had ever existed… ![“Just as sometimes I wondered if Grandpa had ever existed, sometimes I wondered if I truly existed myself. As I was running, I could see myself from outside myself: a skinny girl with the flapping shorts and too- big a T-shirt, always watching the other girls at school, a girl in a pink bedroom…” quote by Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db3/alice-jamieson-21585_abuse_just-as-sometimes-i-wondered-if-grandpa_1310241.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db3/alice-jamieson-21585_abuse_just-as-sometimes-i-wondered-if-grandpa_1310241.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db3/alice-jamieson-21585_abuse_just-as-sometimes-i-wondered-if-grandpa_1310241.jpg) > ““Just as sometimes I wondered if Grandpa had ever existed, sometimes I wondered if I truly existed myself. As I was running, I could see myself from outside myself: a skinny girl with the flapping shorts and too- big a T-shirt, always watching the other girls at school, a girl in a pink bedroom sitting with a book propped on her knees, the words she was reading entering her mind, some sticking like gluey never to be forgotten, others disappearing instantly, I could remember everything and remember nothing. I would watch a movie and recall every scene as if I had written the script, then watch another movie another day and be unable to recall it at all.”” [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The passage explores the fluidity of self‑identity and memory, how we can feel both observer and participant in our own lives, recalling some moments vividly while others fade. **In simple terms:** Self feels like a watching self; memory is selective. Key Takeaway Notice how you observe yourself and which memories stick. Themes identity memory self‑perception Mood introspective nostalgic Type literary philosophical When to use this quote - school life - reading - watching movies - running - personal reflection Key Concepts subjectivity episodic recall existential doubt Questions to Reflect On - How does observing yourself change your actions? - Which memories shape your sense of self? A Different Perspective Memory is unreliable; self‑observation can feel alienating. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Abuse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/abuse/) [Amnesia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/amnesia/) [Dissociation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dissociation/) [Dissociative](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dissociative/) [Dissociative-identity-disorder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dissociative-identity-disorder/) [Memory](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/memory/) [Mental health](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mental-health/) [Movie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/movie/) [Multiple personality disorder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/multiple-personality-disorder/) [Paedophile-ring](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/paedophile-ring/) [Psychology](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/psychology/) [Running](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/running/) [Sexual abuse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sexual-abuse/) [Survivor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/survivor/) [Trauma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/trauma/) [Victim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/victim/) ## Related quotes > [“Did I imagine the castle, the dungeon, the ritual orgies and violations? Did Lucy, Billy, Samuel, Eliza, Shirley and Kato make it all up?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/did-i-imagine-the-castle-the-dungeon-the-ritual-orgies-and-violations/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“It is hard to bring paedophile rings to justice. Thankfully it does happen. Perhaps the most horrific recent case came before the High Court…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/it-is-hard-to-bring-paedophile-rings-to-justice-thankfully-it-does/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“My body was a Pandora’s box of aches and pains. When Grandpa died all the ailments came jumping out. I was forever twitching and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/my-body-was-a-pandora-s-box-of-aches-and-pains-when-grandpa-died-all/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“There, there, best to bring it all up,' she said. My memory was in shreds. Imagine a photograph cut into narrow strips then jumbled…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/there-there-best-to-bring-it-all-up-she-said-my-memory-was-in-shreds/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“When sleep came, I would dream bad dreams. Not the baby and the big man with a cigarette-lighter dream. Another dream. The castle dream.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/when-sleep-came-i-would-dream-bad-dreams-not-the-baby-and-the-big-man/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“I daydream - and get paid for it. I recall a scene from An Officer and a Gentleman. At the end of the movie…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-a-davis/i-daydream-and-get-paid-for-it-i-recall-a-scene-from-an-officer-and-a/) [Jill A. Davis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-a-davis/) > [“Some alters are what Dr Ross describes in Multiple Personality Disorder as 'fragments'. which are 'relatively limited psychic states that express only one feeling,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/some-alters-are-what-dr-ross-describes-in-multiple-personality-2/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“Once I had found the courage to tell Rebecca about the children in my head, it wasn't so hard in the coming months to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/once-i-had-found-the-courage-to-tell-rebecca-about-the-children-in-my/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“Of course, I should have known the kids would pop out in the atmosphere of Roberta's office. That's what they do when Alice is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/of-course-i-should-have-known-the-kids-would-pop-out-in-the/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“Weird? Absurd? That’s how it seemed to me. I had these forces, these compunctions, these alternative personalities inside me, driving me. It was like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/weird-absurd-that-s-how-it-seemed-to-me-i-had-these-forces-these/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“PART 2 I felt doomed to death, But in a flash, Before I could reduce my thoughts To an emotion, I felt a mass…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/part-2-i-felt-doomed-to-death-but-in-a-flash-before-i-could-reduce-my/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“Why do I take a blade and slash my arms? Why do I drink myself into a stupor? Why do I swallow bottles of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/why-do-i-take-a-blade-and-slash-my-arms-why-do-i-drink-myself-into-a/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“If I was set an essay on Friday, I’d spend three hours on Saturday morning in the library. Was that normal? I didn’t know.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/if-i-was-set-an-essay-on-friday-i-d-spend-three-hours-on-saturday/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“It’s hard to feel supported when you can’t tell people everything. People haven’t really got a clue what it’s like. It’s hard to trust…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/it-s-hard-to-feel-supported-when-you-can-t-tell-people-everything/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“The word is dissociate. There is no 'a' before the 'ss'. People invariably say dis-a-ssociate, which, if you're suffering Disso-ciative Identity Disorder/Multiple Personality Disorder,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/the-word-is-dissociate-there-is-no-a-before-the-ss-people-invariably/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) ## More by Alice Jamieson > [“The word is dissociate. There is no 'a' before the 'ss'. People invariably say dis-a-ssociate, which, if you're suffering Disso-ciative Identity Disorder/Multiple Personality Disorder,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/the-word-is-dissociate-there-is-no-a-before-the-ss-people-invariably/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“It’s hard to feel supported when you can’t tell people everything. People haven’t really got a clue what it’s like. It’s hard to trust…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/it-s-hard-to-feel-supported-when-you-can-t-tell-people-everything/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“If I was set an essay on Friday, I’d spend three hours on Saturday morning in the library. Was that normal? I didn’t know.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/if-i-was-set-an-essay-on-friday-i-d-spend-three-hours-on-saturday/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“When the black thing was at its worst, when the illicit cocktails and the ten-mile runs stopped working, I would feel numb as if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/when-the-black-thing-was-at-its-worst-when-the-illicit-cocktails-and/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“Why do I take a blade and slash my arms? Why do I drink myself into a stupor? Why do I swallow bottles of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/why-do-i-take-a-blade-and-slash-my-arms-why-do-i-drink-myself-into-a/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“PART 2 I felt doomed to death, But in a flash, Before I could reduce my thoughts To an emotion, I felt a mass…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/part-2-i-felt-doomed-to-death-but-in-a-flash-before-i-could-reduce-my/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“Weird? Absurd? That’s how it seemed to me. I had these forces, these compunctions, these alternative personalities inside me, driving me. It was like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/weird-absurd-that-s-how-it-seemed-to-me-i-had-these-forces-these/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“When sleep came, I would dream bad dreams. Not the baby and the big man with a cigarette-lighter dream. Another dream. The castle dream.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/when-sleep-came-i-would-dream-bad-dreams-not-the-baby-and-the-big-man/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“Of course, I should have known the kids would pop out in the atmosphere of Roberta's office. That's what they do when Alice is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/of-course-i-should-have-known-the-kids-would-pop-out-in-the/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“Once I had found the courage to tell Rebecca about the children in my head, it wasn't so hard in the coming months to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/once-i-had-found-the-courage-to-tell-rebecca-about-the-children-in-my/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“During this hour in the waking streets I felt at ease, at peace; my body, which I despised, operated like a machine. I was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/during-this-hour-in-the-waking-streets-i-felt-at-ease-at-peace-my/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“When I was cooking I enjoyed a sense of being ‘out’ of myself. The action of dicing vegetables and warming oil made my hands…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/when-i-was-cooking-i-enjoyed-a-sense-of-being-out-of-myself-the/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“One weekend it rained for 48 hours without stopping. The rain beat like bony fingers against the window panes. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/one-weekend-it-rained-for-48-hours-without-stopping-the-rain-beat/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“Some alters are what Dr Ross describes in Multiple Personality Disorder as 'fragments', which are 'relatively limited psychic states that express only one feeling,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/some-alters-are-what-dr-ross-describes-in-multiple-personality/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“Some alters are what Dr Ross describes in Multiple Personality Disorder as 'fragments'. which are 'relatively limited psychic states that express only one feeling,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/some-alters-are-what-dr-ross-describes-in-multiple-personality-2/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) [Explore all 28 Alice Jamieson quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) ## More Abuse quotes > [I wrote when I was a young teen, but I didn't put an eye on the available markets until I was seventeen. The next…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-reed/i-wrote-when-i-was-a-young-teen-but-i-didn-t-put-an-eye-on-the/) [Robert Reed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-reed/) > [Amongst the financial Twitterati, the term 'muppets' has come to describe any client used and abused by some financial predator. I've adopted the term…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barry-ritholtz/amongst-the-financial-twitterati-the-term-muppets-has-come-to/) [Barry Ritholtz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barry-ritholtz/) > [Being nice is okay,but don't allow anybody to abuse it...try to fight for your self when you know your on the right way...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/being-nice-is-okay-but-don-t-allow-anybody-to-abuse-it-try-to-fight/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Build a bridge over shame by teaching kids about sexual abuse. Give them a chance to run to us should they encounter it. Be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-byers-ruch/build-a-bridge-over-shame-by-teaching-kids-about-sexual-abuse-give/) [Carolyn Byers Ruch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-byers-ruch/) > [It is sure that those are most desirous of honour or glory who cry out loudest of its abuse and the vanity of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/baruch-spinoza/it-is-sure-that-those-are-most-desirous-of-honour-or-glory-who-cry/) [Baruch Spinoza](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/baruch-spinoza/) > [“The sole reason I stand to open it up now is that lots of people who are in pain just like I was, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-dsouza/the-sole-reason-i-stand-to-open-it-up-now-is-that-lots-of-people-who/) [Patricia Dsouza](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-dsouza/) > [Democracy must be built through open societies that share information. When there is information, there is enlightenment. When there is debate, there are solutions.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/atifete-jahjaga/democracy-must-be-built-through-open-societies-that-share-information/) [Atifete Jahjaga](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/atifete-jahjaga/) > [I have a theory that all abuse, no matter what kind of abuse it is, is foremost an assault on the mind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-westover/i-have-a-theory-that-all-abuse-no-matter-what-kind-of-abuse-it-is-is/) [Tara Westover](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-westover/) > [“Blaming therapy, social work and other caring professions for the confabulation of testimony of 'satanic ritual abuse' legitimated a programme of political and social…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-salter/blaming-therapy-social-work-and-other-caring-professions-for-the/) [Michael Salter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-salter/) > [Finally, the scariest thing about abuse of any shape or form, is, in my opinion, not the abuse itself, but that if it continues…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-cumming/finally-the-scariest-thing-about-abuse-of-any-shape-or-form-is-in-my/) [Alan Cumming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-cumming/) > [“Research on organised abuse emphasises the diversity of organised abuse cases, and the ways in which serious forms of child maltreatment cluster in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-salter/research-on-organised-abuse-emphasises-the-diversity-of-organised/) [Michael Salter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-salter/) > [“Stand up for yourself. Never give any one permission to abuse you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lailah-gifty-akita/stand-up-for-yourself-never-give-any-one-permission-to-abuse-you/) [Lailah Gifty Akita](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lailah-gifty-akita/) > [All governments should be pressured to correct their abuses of human rights.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-stallman/all-governments-should-be-pressured-to-correct-their-abuses-of-human/) [Richard Stallman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-stallman/) > [“Words are free. It does not mean you should abuse them. Be kind with them. They will mirror your actions.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hadinet-tekie/words-are-free-it-does-not-mean-you-should-abuse-them-be-kind-with/) [Hadinet Tekie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hadinet-tekie/) > [My illness is one often characterized by dramatic overspending - in my case through frenzied shopping sprees, credit card abuse, excessive hoarding of unnecessary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-behrman/my-illness-is-one-often-characterized-by-dramatic-overspending-in-my/) [Andy Behrman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-behrman/) [Browse all 3,113 Abuse quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/abuse/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Just as sometimes I wondered if Grandpa had ever existed, sometimes I wondered if I truly existed myself. As I was running, I could see myself from outside myself: a skinny girl with the flapping shorts and too- big a T-shirt, always watching the other girls at school, a girl in a pink bedroom sitting with a book propped on her knees, the words she was reading entering her mind, some sticking like gluey never to be forgotten, others disappearing instantly, I could remember everything and remember nothing. 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