--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I had a bizarre rapport with this mirror…" description: "\"“I had a bizarre rapport with this mirror and spent a lot of time gazing into the glass to see who was there. Sometimes it looked like me. At other tim..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/157/alice-jamieson-21585_abuse_i-had-a-bizarre-rapport-with-this-mirror_1858579.jpg" --- # I had a bizarre rapport with this mirror and spent a lot… ![“I had a bizarre rapport with this mirror and spent a lot of time gazing into the glass to see who was there. Sometimes it looked like me. At other times, I could see someone similar but different in the reflection. A few times, I caught the switch in mid-stare, my expression re-forming like…” quote by Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/157/alice-jamieson-21585_abuse_i-had-a-bizarre-rapport-with-this-mirror_1858579.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/157/alice-jamieson-21585_abuse_i-had-a-bizarre-rapport-with-this-mirror_1858579.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/157/alice-jamieson-21585_abuse_i-had-a-bizarre-rapport-with-this-mirror_1858579.jpg) > ““I had a bizarre rapport with this mirror and spent a lot of time gazing into the glass to see who was there. Sometimes it looked like me. At other times, I could see someone similar but different in the reflection. A few times, I caught the switch in mid-stare, my expression re-forming like melting rubber, the creases and features of my face softening or hardening until the mutation was complete. Jekyll to Hyde, or Hyde to Jekyll. I felt my inner core change at the same time. I would feel more confident or less confident; mature or childlike; freezing cold or sticky hot, a state that would drive Mum mad as I escaped to the bathroom where I would remain for two hours scrubbing my skin until it was raw. The change was triggered by different emotions: on hearing a particular piece of music; the sight of my father, the smell of his brand of aftershave. I would pick up a book with the certainty that I had not read it before and hear the words as I read them like an echo inside my head. Like Alice in the Lewis Carroll story, I slipped into the depths of the looking glass and couldn’t be sure if it was me standing there or an impostor, a lookalike. I felt fully awake most of the time, but sometimes while I was awake it felt as if I were dreaming. In this dream state I didn’t feel like me, the real me. I felt numb. My fingers prickled. My eyes in the mirror’s reflection were glazed like the eyes of a mannequin in a shop window, my colour, my shape, but without light or focus. These changes were described by Dr Purvis as mood swings and by Mother as floods, but I knew better. All teenagers are moody when it suits them. My Switches could take place when I was alone, transforming me from a bright sixteen-year-old doing her homework into a sobbing child curled on the bed staring at the wall. The weeping fit would pass and I would drag myself back to the mirror expecting to see a child version of myself. ‘Who are you?’ I’d ask. I could hear the words; it sounded like me but it wasn’t me. I’d watch my lips moving and say it again, ‘Who are you?”” [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Adolescents may experience intense, rapid mood shifts that feel like a different self, triggered by sensory cues and emotions, leading to identity confusion and self‑scrutiny. **In simple terms:** Teen mood swings feel like changing into another person. Key Takeaway Recognize triggers and seek grounding. Themes identity emotion adolescence self‑perception Mood conflicted introspective Type personal narrative psychological When to use this quote - school stress - family conflict - music triggers - self‑image - therapy sessions Key Concepts psychology neurobiology mirror metaphor Questions to Reflect On - What sensory cue most often shifts your mood? - How can you anchor your sense of self during swings? A Different Perspective Triggers may be subtle, making self‑awareness difficult. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Abuse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/abuse/) [Amnesia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/amnesia/) [Change](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/change/) [Child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/child/) [Different emotions](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/different-emotions/) [Dissociation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dissociation/) [Dissociative](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dissociative/) [Dissociative-identity-disorder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dissociative-identity-disorder/) [Dreaming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dreaming/) [Emotion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/emotion/) [Emotional](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/emotional/) [Identity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/identity/) [Identity crisis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/identity-crisis/) [Incest](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/incest/) [Memory loss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/memory-loss/) [Mental health](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mental-health/) [Mirror](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mirror/) [Mirror Reflection](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mirror-reflection/) [Mood swings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mood-swings/) [Multiple personality disorder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/multiple-personality-disorder/) [Reflection](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/reflection/) [Self-Awareness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-awareness-2/) [Sexual abuse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sexual-abuse/) [Split personality](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/split-personality/) [Survivor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/survivor/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) [Trauma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/trauma/) [Triggered](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/triggered/) [Unreality](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/unreality/) [Version Of Myself](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/version-of-myself/) ## Related quotes > [“Failing to recognize someone sometimes makes us think that they look like themselves.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mokokoma-mokhonoana/failing-to-recognize-someone-sometimes-makes-us-think-that-they-look/) [Mokokoma Mokhonoana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mokokoma-mokhonoana/) > [“It was as though someone, somewhere, were dreaming this and he had crossed into it without permission. Everything both familiar and foreign.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-yoon/it-was-as-though-someone-somewhere-were-dreaming-this-and-he-had/) [Paul Yoon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-yoon/) > [“In this chapter I restrict myself to exploring the nature of the amnesia which is reported between personality states in most people who are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-morton/in-this-chapter-i-restrict-myself-to-exploring-the-nature-of-the/) [John Morton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-morton/) > [“Treating Abuse Today (Tat), 3(4), pp. 26-33 Freyd: I see what you're saying but people in psychology don't have a uniform agreement on this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-l-calof/treating-abuse-today-tat-3-4-pp-26-33-freyd-i-see-what-you-re-saying/) [David L. Calof](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-l-calof/) > [I'd seen Titus Welliver in a few shows and felt he had some inner demons in his portrayals, as does Harry Bosch.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-connelly/i-d-seen-titus-welliver-in-a-few-shows-and-felt-he-had-some-inner/) [Michael Connelly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-connelly/) > [For years, I've felt that there's an inner cook in me just waiting to be unleashed. But I have to confess I'm having an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lesley-nicol/for-years-i-ve-felt-that-there-s-an-inner-cook-in-me-just-waiting-to/) [Lesley Nicol](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lesley-nicol/) > [I felt the inner need to take responsibility for myself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/superstar-billy-graham/i-felt-the-inner-need-to-take-responsibility-for-myself/) [Superstar Billy Graham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/superstar-billy-graham/) > [“ You’re in shock. You can’t afford to be in shock. Two parts of himself were having a conversation. You were probably meant to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-grimwood/you-re-in-shock-you-can-t-afford-to-be-in-shock-two-parts-of-himself/) Jack Grimwood > [“It's as though I'm sitting in the audience caught up in a well-made film.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-frances-casey/it-s-as-though-i-m-sitting-in-the-audience-caught-up-in-a-well-made/) [Joan Frances Casey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-frances-casey/) ## More by Alice Jamieson > [“The word is dissociate. There is no 'a' before the 'ss'. People invariably say dis-a-ssociate, which, if you're suffering Disso-ciative Identity Disorder/Multiple Personality Disorder,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/the-word-is-dissociate-there-is-no-a-before-the-ss-people-invariably/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“It’s hard to feel supported when you can’t tell people everything. People haven’t really got a clue what it’s like. It’s hard to trust…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/it-s-hard-to-feel-supported-when-you-can-t-tell-people-everything/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“If I was set an essay on Friday, I’d spend three hours on Saturday morning in the library. Was that normal? I didn’t know.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/if-i-was-set-an-essay-on-friday-i-d-spend-three-hours-on-saturday/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“When the black thing was at its worst, when the illicit cocktails and the ten-mile runs stopped working, I would feel numb as if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/when-the-black-thing-was-at-its-worst-when-the-illicit-cocktails-and/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“Why do I take a blade and slash my arms? Why do I drink myself into a stupor? Why do I swallow bottles of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/why-do-i-take-a-blade-and-slash-my-arms-why-do-i-drink-myself-into-a/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“PART 2 I felt doomed to death, But in a flash, Before I could reduce my thoughts To an emotion, I felt a mass…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/part-2-i-felt-doomed-to-death-but-in-a-flash-before-i-could-reduce-my/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“Weird? Absurd? That’s how it seemed to me. I had these forces, these compunctions, these alternative personalities inside me, driving me. It was like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/weird-absurd-that-s-how-it-seemed-to-me-i-had-these-forces-these/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“When sleep came, I would dream bad dreams. Not the baby and the big man with a cigarette-lighter dream. Another dream. The castle dream.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/when-sleep-came-i-would-dream-bad-dreams-not-the-baby-and-the-big-man/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“Of course, I should have known the kids would pop out in the atmosphere of Roberta's office. That's what they do when Alice is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/of-course-i-should-have-known-the-kids-would-pop-out-in-the/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“Once I had found the courage to tell Rebecca about the children in my head, it wasn't so hard in the coming months to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/once-i-had-found-the-courage-to-tell-rebecca-about-the-children-in-my/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“During this hour in the waking streets I felt at ease, at peace; my body, which I despised, operated like a machine. I was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/during-this-hour-in-the-waking-streets-i-felt-at-ease-at-peace-my/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“When I was cooking I enjoyed a sense of being ‘out’ of myself. The action of dicing vegetables and warming oil made my hands…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/when-i-was-cooking-i-enjoyed-a-sense-of-being-out-of-myself-the/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“One weekend it rained for 48 hours without stopping. The rain beat like bony fingers against the window panes. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/one-weekend-it-rained-for-48-hours-without-stopping-the-rain-beat/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“Some alters are what Dr Ross describes in Multiple Personality Disorder as 'fragments', which are 'relatively limited psychic states that express only one feeling,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/some-alters-are-what-dr-ross-describes-in-multiple-personality/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) > [“Some alters are what Dr Ross describes in Multiple Personality Disorder as 'fragments'. which are 'relatively limited psychic states that express only one feeling,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/some-alters-are-what-dr-ross-describes-in-multiple-personality-2/) [Alice Jamieson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) [Explore all 28 Alice Jamieson quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/) ## More Abuse quotes > [I wrote when I was a young teen, but I didn't put an eye on the available markets until I was seventeen. The next…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-reed/i-wrote-when-i-was-a-young-teen-but-i-didn-t-put-an-eye-on-the/) [Robert Reed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-reed/) > [Amongst the financial Twitterati, the term 'muppets' has come to describe any client used and abused by some financial predator. I've adopted the term…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barry-ritholtz/amongst-the-financial-twitterati-the-term-muppets-has-come-to/) [Barry Ritholtz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barry-ritholtz/) > [Being nice is okay,but don't allow anybody to abuse it...try to fight for your self when you know your on the right way...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/being-nice-is-okay-but-don-t-allow-anybody-to-abuse-it-try-to-fight/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Build a bridge over shame by teaching kids about sexual abuse. Give them a chance to run to us should they encounter it. Be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-byers-ruch/build-a-bridge-over-shame-by-teaching-kids-about-sexual-abuse-give/) [Carolyn Byers Ruch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-byers-ruch/) > [It is sure that those are most desirous of honour or glory who cry out loudest of its abuse and the vanity of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/baruch-spinoza/it-is-sure-that-those-are-most-desirous-of-honour-or-glory-who-cry/) [Baruch Spinoza](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/baruch-spinoza/) > [“The sole reason I stand to open it up now is that lots of people who are in pain just like I was, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-dsouza/the-sole-reason-i-stand-to-open-it-up-now-is-that-lots-of-people-who/) [Patricia Dsouza](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-dsouza/) > [Democracy must be built through open societies that share information. When there is information, there is enlightenment. When there is debate, there are solutions.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/atifete-jahjaga/democracy-must-be-built-through-open-societies-that-share-information/) [Atifete Jahjaga](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/atifete-jahjaga/) > [I have a theory that all abuse, no matter what kind of abuse it is, is foremost an assault on the mind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-westover/i-have-a-theory-that-all-abuse-no-matter-what-kind-of-abuse-it-is-is/) [Tara Westover](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-westover/) > [“Blaming therapy, social work and other caring professions for the confabulation of testimony of 'satanic ritual abuse' legitimated a programme of political and social…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-salter/blaming-therapy-social-work-and-other-caring-professions-for-the/) [Michael Salter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-salter/) > [Finally, the scariest thing about abuse of any shape or form, is, in my opinion, not the abuse itself, but that if it continues…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-cumming/finally-the-scariest-thing-about-abuse-of-any-shape-or-form-is-in-my/) [Alan Cumming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-cumming/) > [“Research on organised abuse emphasises the diversity of organised abuse cases, and the ways in which serious forms of child maltreatment cluster in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-salter/research-on-organised-abuse-emphasises-the-diversity-of-organised/) [Michael Salter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-salter/) > [“Stand up for yourself. Never give any one permission to abuse you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lailah-gifty-akita/stand-up-for-yourself-never-give-any-one-permission-to-abuse-you/) [Lailah Gifty Akita](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lailah-gifty-akita/) > [All governments should be pressured to correct their abuses of human rights.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-stallman/all-governments-should-be-pressured-to-correct-their-abuses-of-human/) [Richard Stallman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-stallman/) > [“Words are free. It does not mean you should abuse them. Be kind with them. They will mirror your actions.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hadinet-tekie/words-are-free-it-does-not-mean-you-should-abuse-them-be-kind-with/) [Hadinet Tekie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hadinet-tekie/) > [My illness is one often characterized by dramatic overspending - in my case through frenzied shopping sprees, credit card abuse, excessive hoarding of unnecessary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-behrman/my-illness-is-one-often-characterized-by-dramatic-overspending-in-my/) [Andy Behrman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-behrman/) [Browse all 3,113 Abuse quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/abuse/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I had a bizarre rapport with this mirror and spent a lot of time gazing into the glass to see who was there. Sometimes it looked like me. At other times, I could see someone similar but different in the reflection. A few times, I caught the switch in mid-stare, my expression re-forming like melting rubber, the creases and features of my face softening or hardening until the mutation was complete. Jekyll to Hyde, or Hyde to Jekyll. I felt my inner core change at the same time. I would feel more confident or less confident; mature or childlike; freezing cold or sticky hot, a state that would drive Mum mad as I escaped to the bathroom where I would remain for two hours scrubbing my skin until it was raw. The change was triggered by different emotions: on hearing a particular piece of music; the sight of my father, the smell of his brand of aftershave. I would pick up a book with the certainty that I had not read it before and hear the words as I read them like an echo inside my head. Like Alice in the Lewis Carroll story, I slipped into the depths of the looking glass and couldn’t be sure if it was me standing there or an impostor, a lookalike. I felt fully awake most of the time, but sometimes while I was awake it felt as if I were dreaming. In this dream state I didn’t feel like me, the real me. I felt numb. My fingers prickled. My eyes in the mirror’s reflection were glazed like the eyes of a mannequin in a shop window, my colour, my shape, but without light or focus. These changes were described by Dr Purvis as mood swings and by Mother as floods, but I knew better. All teenagers are moody when it suits them. My Switches could take place when I was alone, transforming me from a bright sixteen-year-old doing her homework into a sobbing child curled on the bed staring at the wall. The weeping fit would pass and I would drag myself back to the mirror expecting to see a child version of myself. ‘Who are you?’ I’d ask. I could hear the words; it sounded like me but it wasn’t me. I’d watch my lips moving and say it again, ‘Who are you?”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Alice Jamieson" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/i-had-a-bizarre-rapport-with-this-mirror-and-spent-a-lot-of-time/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Abuse" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/i-had-a-bizarre-rapport-with-this-mirror-and-spent-a-lot-of-time/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/157/alice-jamieson-21585_abuse_i-had-a-bizarre-rapport-with-this-mirror_1858579.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/157/alice-jamieson-21585_abuse_i-had-a-bizarre-rapport-with-this-mirror_1858579.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/157/alice-jamieson-21585_abuse_i-had-a-bizarre-rapport-with-this-mirror_1858579.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I had a bizarre rapport with this mirror and spent a lot of time gazing into the glass to see who was there…” — Alice Jamieson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Alice Jamieson", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-jamieson/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“I had a bizarre rapport with...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/i-had-a-bizarre-rapport-with-this-mirror-and-spent-a-lot-of-time/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-jamieson/i-had-a-bizarre-rapport-with-this-mirror-and-spent-a-lot-of-time/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```