--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It's not the lie that's the problem; it's…" description: "\"It's not the lie that's the problem; it's the distance the lie forges between you.\" — Alice Hoffman" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04b/alice-hoffman-427_distance_it-s-not-the-lie-that-s-the-problem-it-s_52473.png" --- # It's not the lie that's the problem; it's the distance the… ![“It's not the lie that's the problem; it's the distance the lie forges between you.” quote by Alice Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04b/alice-hoffman-427_distance_it-s-not-the-lie-that-s-the-problem-it-s_52473.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04b/alice-hoffman-427_distance_it-s-not-the-lie-that-s-the-problem-it-s_52473.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04b/alice-hoffman-427_distance_it-s-not-the-lie-that-s-the-problem-it-s_52473.png) > “It's not the lie that's the problem; it's the distance the lie forges between you.” [Alice Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-hoffman/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The issue lies not in falsehood itself but in the emotional and relational gap it creates, eroding trust and intimacy. **In simple terms:** Lies create distance. Key Takeaway Truth preserves connection. Themes trust communication relationships integrity psychology Mood reflective cautious thoughtful Type aphor observation When to use this quote - conflict resolution - team dynamics - personal relationships - counseling - leadership Key Concepts trust erosion emotional distance honesty Practical Applications - mediating disputes - building transparent cultures Questions to Reflect On - How does a lie affect your sense of closeness? - What steps can restore trust after deception? ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Lying](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lying/) [Problem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/problem/) [Truth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/truth/) ## Related quotes > [I keep saying that I'm looking for the right girl, and that is just a lie. The problem with me is, I'm waiting for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-keep-saying-that-i-m-looking-for-the-right-girl-and-that-is-just-a/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“I get the feeling that it's all a big lie. The problem is I don't know who's lying.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/i-get-the-feeling-that-it-s-all-a-big-lie-the-problem-is-i-don-t-know/) [Stephen Chbosky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-chbosky/) > [Understand the one who love you, they'll never lie, there must be some problem, otherwise they are also ready to die!!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/understand-the-one-who-love-you-they-ll-never-lie-there-must-be-some/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/douglas-adams/far-out-in-the-uncharted-backwaters-of-the-unfashionable-end-of-the/) [Douglas Adams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/douglas-adams/) > [Combining the experience of a seasoned university president with the analysis of a respected legal scholar, Derek Bok explores what he concludes are 'signs…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-h-t-rhodes/combining-the-experience-of-a-seasoned-university-president-with-the/) Frank H. T. Rhodes > [I've never bought this idea of taking a therapeutic distance. If I see a student or house staff cry, I take great faith in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abraham-verghese/i-ve-never-bought-this-idea-of-taking-a-therapeutic-distance-if-i-see/) [Abraham Verghese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abraham-verghese/) > [Memories seem to surface in no particular order, with no time attached. Yesterday can seem as distant as last year. My life now consists…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/linda-olsson/memories-seem-to-surface-in-no-particular-order-with-no-time-attached/) [Linda Olsson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/linda-olsson/) > [She watched the prairies the rivers, the towns slipping past at an untouchable distance below - and she noted that the sense of detachment…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ayn-rand/she-watched-the-prairies-the-rivers-the-towns-slipping-past-at-an/) [Ayn Rand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ayn-rand/) > [When somebody mentions that I did a play with George C. Scott, I'm like, it can't have happened. What was I doing on a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-dano/when-somebody-mentions-that-i-did-a-play-with-george-c-scott-i-m-like/) [Paul Dano](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-dano/) > [At a distance, we cannot conceive of the authority of a despot who knows all his subjects on sight.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stendhal/at-a-distance-we-cannot-conceive-of-the-authority-of-a-despot-who/) [Stendhal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stendhal/) > [Prison experience puts distance between me and any person who hasn't been there, done that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-mcconnell/prison-experience-puts-distance-between-me-and-any-person-who-hasn-t/) [Patricia McConnell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-mcconnell/) > [Distance sometimes endears friendship, and absence sweeteneth it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-howell/distance-sometimes-endears-friendship-and-absence-sweeteneth-it/) [James Howell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-howell/) > [I think hair gel was invented to make it easier to identify assholes from a distance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-think-hair-gel-was-invented-to-make-it-easier-to-identify-assholes/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [I raised another shot. "That sound you hear is the heads of moral conservatives spontaneously exploding in the distance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-thurman/i-raised-another-shot-that-sound-you-hear-is-the-heads-of-moral/) [Rob Thurman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-thurman/) > [Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/distance-is-a-test-of-love-many-will-fail-for-those-who-can-t/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) ## More by Alice Hoffman > [Women know things that men will never know. We keep the best secrets. We tell the best stories.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-hoffman/women-know-things-that-men-will-never-know-we-keep-the-best-secrets/) [Alice Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-hoffman/) > [“All of the quarters in his hand were tarnished. He had no idea that the silver in a man’s pockets always turns black if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-hoffman/all-of-the-quarters-in-his-hand-were-tarnished-he-had-no-idea-that/) [Alice Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-hoffman/) > [But most important of all, she explained that it was all right to say 'No. I disagree.' that was a gift. I understood it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-hoffman/but-most-important-of-all-she-explained-that-it-was-all-right-to-say/) [Alice Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-hoffman/) > [“It was after dark when the woods were most filled with magic, when there were fireflies and the mist was rising from the streams.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-hoffman/it-was-after-dark-when-the-woods-were-most-filled-with-magic-when/) [Alice Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-hoffman/) > [“Never look back, that's what she's told herself. Don't think about swans or being alone in the dark. Don't think of storms, or lightning…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-hoffman/never-look-back-that-s-what-she-s-told-herself-don-t-think-about/) [Alice Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-hoffman/) > [This was what it meant to be human, to know that time moved and all things changed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-hoffman/this-was-what-it-meant-to-be-human-to-know-that-time-moved-and-all/) [Alice Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-hoffman/) > [“She preferred cats to human beings and turned down every offer from the men who fell in love with her.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-hoffman/she-preferred-cats-to-human-beings-and-turned-down-every-offer-from/) [Alice Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-hoffman/) > [I'm a really eclectic reader.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-hoffman/i-m-a-really-eclectic-reader/) [Alice Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-hoffman/) > [“Her vision was going, but she could see him, the way people see clouds-beautiful, racing by, casting shadows.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-hoffman/her-vision-was-going-but-she-could-see-him-the-way-people-see-clouds/) [Alice Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-hoffman/) > [That's why there are ten gates to pass through before you reach the garden. If life were easy there would be one gate. There…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-hoffman/that-s-why-there-are-ten-gates-to-pass-through-before-you-reach-the/) [Alice Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-hoffman/) > [“...the summer of the gypsy moths when all the trees in their yard were bare, the leaves chewed by caterpillars. You could hear crunching…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-hoffman/the-summer-of-the-gypsy-moths-when-all-the-trees-in-their-yard-were/) [Alice Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-hoffman/) > [“The best way to die is when you're living.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-hoffman/the-best-way-to-die-is-when-you-re-living/) [Alice Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-hoffman/) > [“Haylin was given a good talking-to by the headmaster and made to write a paper about workers’ rights, which he considered a privilege rather…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-hoffman/haylin-was-given-a-good-talking-to-by-the-headmaster-and-made-to/) [Alice Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-hoffman/) > [My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage."…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-hoffman/my-darling-girl-when-are-you-going-to-realize-that-being-normal-is/) [Alice Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-hoffman/) > [He'd thought he was lost, but now he recognized that eternity was around him, like salt from a shaker or stars in the sky.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-hoffman/he-d-thought-he-was-lost-but-now-he-recognized-that-eternity-was/) [Alice Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-hoffman/) [Explore all 571 Alice Hoffman quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-hoffman/) ## More Distance quotes > [Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/distance-is-a-test-of-love-many-will-fail-for-those-who-can-t/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I raised another shot. "That sound you hear is the heads of moral conservatives spontaneously exploding in the distance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-thurman/i-raised-another-shot-that-sound-you-hear-is-the-heads-of-moral/) [Rob Thurman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-thurman/) > [I think hair gel was invented to make it easier to identify assholes from a distance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-think-hair-gel-was-invented-to-make-it-easier-to-identify-assholes/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [Distance sometimes endears friendship, and absence sweeteneth it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-howell/distance-sometimes-endears-friendship-and-absence-sweeteneth-it/) [James Howell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-howell/) > [Prison experience puts distance between me and any person who hasn't been there, done that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-mcconnell/prison-experience-puts-distance-between-me-and-any-person-who-hasn-t/) [Patricia McConnell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-mcconnell/) > [At a distance, we cannot conceive of the authority of a despot who knows all his subjects on sight.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stendhal/at-a-distance-we-cannot-conceive-of-the-authority-of-a-despot-who/) [Stendhal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stendhal/) > [When somebody mentions that I did a play with George C. Scott, I'm like, it can't have happened. What was I doing on a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-dano/when-somebody-mentions-that-i-did-a-play-with-george-c-scott-i-m-like/) [Paul Dano](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-dano/) > [She watched the prairies the rivers, the towns slipping past at an untouchable distance below - and she noted that the sense of detachment…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ayn-rand/she-watched-the-prairies-the-rivers-the-towns-slipping-past-at-an/) [Ayn Rand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ayn-rand/) > [Memories seem to surface in no particular order, with no time attached. Yesterday can seem as distant as last year. My life now consists…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/linda-olsson/memories-seem-to-surface-in-no-particular-order-with-no-time-attached/) [Linda Olsson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/linda-olsson/) > [I've never bought this idea of taking a therapeutic distance. If I see a student or house staff cry, I take great faith in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abraham-verghese/i-ve-never-bought-this-idea-of-taking-a-therapeutic-distance-if-i-see/) [Abraham Verghese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abraham-verghese/) > [Combining the experience of a seasoned university president with the analysis of a respected legal scholar, Derek Bok explores what he concludes are 'signs…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-h-t-rhodes/combining-the-experience-of-a-seasoned-university-president-with-the/) Frank H. T. Rhodes > [To be a champion long-distance runner you have to run on the edge of death.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toshihiko-seko/to-be-a-champion-long-distance-runner-you-have-to-run-on-the-edge-of/) Toshihiko Seko > [The sectaries of a persecuted religion, depressed by fear, animated with resentment, and perhaps heated by enthusiasm, are seldom in a proper temper of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-gibbon/the-sectaries-of-a-persecuted-religion-depressed-by-fear-animated/) [Edward Gibbon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-gibbon/) > [Within walking distance of any spot on Earth there's probably more than enough mystery to investigate in a lifetime.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alix-kates-shulman/within-walking-distance-of-any-spot-on-earth-there-s-probably-more/) [Alix Kates Shulman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alix-kates-shulman/) > [It takes a little more time to get into the role, but not very much more. In making a record you don't have the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maria-callas/it-takes-a-little-more-time-to-get-into-the-role-but-not-very-much/) [Maria Callas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maria-callas/) Browse all 3,296 Distance quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It's not the lie that's the problem; it's the distance the lie forges between you.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Alice Hoffman" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-hoffman/it-s-not-the-lie-that-s-the-problem-it-s-the-distance-the-lie-forges/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Distance" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-hoffman/it-s-not-the-lie-that-s-the-problem-it-s-the-distance-the-lie-forges/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04b/alice-hoffman-427_distance_it-s-not-the-lie-that-s-the-problem-it-s_52473.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04b/alice-hoffman-427_distance_it-s-not-the-lie-that-s-the-problem-it-s_52473.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04b/alice-hoffman-427_distance_it-s-not-the-lie-that-s-the-problem-it-s_52473.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It's not the lie that's the problem; it's the distance the lie forges between you.” — Alice Hoffman", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Alice Hoffman", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-hoffman/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "It's not the lie that's the...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-hoffman/it-s-not-the-lie-that-s-the-problem-it-s-the-distance-the-lie-forges/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-hoffman/it-s-not-the-lie-that-s-the-problem-it-s-the-distance-the-lie-forges/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```