--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Those who know they're valued…" description: "\"Those who know they're valued irrespective of their accomplishments often end up accomplishing quite a lot. It's the experience of being accepted witho..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bb/alfie-kohn-7728_accepted_those-who-know-they-re-valued-irrespecti_685652.jpg" --- # Those who know they're valued irrespective of their… ![“Those who know they're valued irrespective of their accomplishments often end up accomplishing quite a lot. It's the experience of being accepted without conditions that helps people develop a healthy confidence in themselves, a belief that it's safe to take risks and try new things.” quote by Alfie Kohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bb/alfie-kohn-7728_accepted_those-who-know-they-re-valued-irrespecti_685652.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bb/alfie-kohn-7728_accepted_those-who-know-they-re-valued-irrespecti_685652.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bb/alfie-kohn-7728_accepted_those-who-know-they-re-valued-irrespecti_685652.jpg) > “Those who know they're valued irrespective of their accomplishments often end up accomplishing quite a lot. It's the experience of being accepted without conditions that helps people develop a healthy confidence in themselves, a belief that it's safe to take risks and try new things.” [Alfie Kohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfie-kohn/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Feeling valued without achievements builds confidence, encouraging risk‑taking and achievement. **In simple terms:** Unconditional acceptance fuels confidence and risk‑taking. Key Takeaway Cultivate unconditional support. Themes confidence acceptance motivation risk-taking Mood thoughtful inspirational Type educational philosophical When to use this quote - parenting - team building - coaching - entrepreneurship Key Concepts psychology humanistic education self-esteem Questions to Reflect On - How does unconditional acceptance affect responsibility? - What boundaries are needed? A Different Perspective Overemphasis on unconditional acceptance may reduce accountability. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Accepted](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/accepted/) [Accomplishment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/accomplishment/) [Being accepted](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/being-accepted/) [Belief](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/belief/) [Belief Safe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/belief-safe-1997929/) [Conditions](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conditions/) [Confidence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/confidence/) [Ends](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ends/) [Healthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/healthy/) [Healthy Confidence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/healthy-confidence-4083445/) [Helping](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/helping/) [Irrespective Accomplishments](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/irrespective-accomplishments-5416691/) [Know Valued](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/know-valued-3851495/) [Knows](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/knows/) [New things](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/new-things/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Risk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/risk/) [Safe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/safe/) [Success](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/success/) [Try new things](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/try-new-things/) [Trying](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/trying/) ## Related quotes > [“A person who is walking around with the belief I am safe in my body is going to approach the world from a very…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-ortner/a-person-who-is-walking-around-with-the-belief-i-am-safe-in-my-body/) [Nick Ortner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-ortner/) > [It’s pretty thin, the wall separating healthy confidence and unhealthy Pride.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/haruki-murakami/it-s-pretty-thin-the-wall-separating-healthy-confidence-and-unhealthy/) [Haruki Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/haruki-murakami/) > [A professional needs to know that he's being valued for his work.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marlon-moraes/a-professional-needs-to-know-that-he-s-being-valued-for-his-work/) [Marlon Moraes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marlon-moraes/) > [“We all have an innate, unquenchable desire to know we are valued, to know we matter. Yet affirming this in each other is among…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dale-carnegie/we-all-have-an-innate-unquenchable-desire-to-know-we-are-valued-to/) [Dale Carnegie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dale-carnegie/) > [When you go for something because you're curious about it, you get psyched up about the chance of getting into it. It's like an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ang-lee/when-you-go-for-something-because-you-re-curious-about-it-you-get/) [Ang Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ang-lee/) > [You shouldn't have asked," I said. "Love doesn't ask many questions, because if we stop to think we become fearful. It's an inexplicable fear;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/you-shouldn-t-have-asked-i-said-love-doesn-t-ask-many-questions/) [Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/) > [I don't really care about being accepted now. I wish I had been like that earlier.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-bradshaw/i-don-t-really-care-about-being-accepted-now-i-wish-i-had-been-like/) [Terry Bradshaw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-bradshaw/) > [Be as honest with yourself as you possibly can. And it's not going to work for everybody, and I know you're going to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hasan-minhaj/be-as-honest-with-yourself-as-you-possibly-can-and-it-s-not-going-to/) [Hasan Minhaj](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hasan-minhaj/) > [The more I risk being rejected, the better my chances are of being accepted.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-kiyosaki/the-more-i-risk-being-rejected-the-better-my-chances-are-of-being/) [Robert Kiyosaki](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-kiyosaki/) > [ “\[T\]he act of revealing oneself fully to another and still being accepted may be the major vehicle of therapeutic help.” ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/t-he-act-of-revealing-oneself-fully-to-another-and-still-being/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [To be silent. In hopes of not offending, in hopes of being accepted. But what happened to people who never spoke, never raised their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louise-penny/to-be-silent-in-hopes-of-not-offending-in-hopes-of-being-accepted-but/) [Louise Penny](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louise-penny/) > [Whenever women have made any social gains, whether it's being accepted as athletes or moving into the professions, it's going to be contradicted with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim-chernin/whenever-women-have-made-any-social-gains-whether-it-s-being-accepted/) [Kim Chernin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim-chernin/) > [I was afraid of being rejected, yes. I was also afraid of being accepted for the wrong reasons.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erich-segal/i-was-afraid-of-being-rejected-yes-i-was-also-afraid-of-being/) [Erich Segal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erich-segal/) > [I went to a motivational training course once, a course of self-discovery, and I found out after a week that my fear - it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emanuel-steward/i-went-to-a-motivational-training-course-once-a-course-of-self/) [Emanuel Steward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emanuel-steward/) > [Greatness is not guarding yourself from people. Greatness is being accepted by the people](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-tyson/greatness-is-not-guarding-yourself-from-people-greatness-is-being/) [Mike Tyson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-tyson/) ## More by Alfie Kohn > [“Many of our elected officials have virtually handed the keys to our schools over to corporate interests. Presidential commissions on education are commonly chaired…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alfie-kohn/many-of-our-elected-officials-have-virtually-handed-the-keys-to-our/) [Alfie Kohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfie-kohn/) > [“a grade can be regarded only as an inadequate report of an inaccurate judgment by a biased and variable judge of the extent to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alfie-kohn/a-grade-can-be-regarded-only-as-an-inadequate-report-of-an-inaccurate/) [Alfie Kohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfie-kohn/) > [In some suburban schools, the curriculum is chock-full of rigorous A.P. courses and the parking lot glitters with pricey SUVs, but one doesn't have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alfie-kohn/in-some-suburban-schools-the-curriculum-is-chock-full-of-rigorous-a-p/) [Alfie Kohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfie-kohn/) > [Standardized testing has swelled and mutated, like a creature in one of those old horror movies, to the point that it now threatens to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alfie-kohn/standardized-testing-has-swelled-and-mutated-like-a-creature-in-one/) [Alfie Kohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfie-kohn/) > [If a child is off-task...mayb e the problem is not the child...maybe it's the task.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alfie-kohn/if-a-child-is-off-task-mayb-e-the-problem-is-not-the-child-maybe-it-s/) [Alfie Kohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfie-kohn/) > [If unconditional love and genuine enthusiasm are present, praise isn't necessary. If they're absent, praise won't help.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alfie-kohn/if-unconditional-love-and-genuine-enthusiasm-are-present-praise-isn-t/) [Alfie Kohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfie-kohn/) > [Most of us would protest that of course we love our children without any strings attached. But what counts is how things look from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alfie-kohn/most-of-us-would-protest-that-of-course-we-love-our-children-without/) [Alfie Kohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfie-kohn/) > [What can we surmise about the likelihood of someone's being caring and generous, loving and helpful, just from knowing that they are a believer?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alfie-kohn/what-can-we-surmise-about-the-likelihood-of-someone-s-being-caring/) [Alfie Kohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfie-kohn/) > [When was the last time you spent the entire day with only 42 year olds?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alfie-kohn/when-was-the-last-time-you-spent-the-entire-day-with-only-42-year-olds/) [Alfie Kohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfie-kohn/) > [Punishment and reward proceed from basically the same psychological model, one that conceives of motivation as nothing more than the manipulation of behavior.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alfie-kohn/punishment-and-reward-proceed-from-basically-the-same-psychological/) [Alfie Kohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfie-kohn/) > [Each time I visit such a classroom, where the teacher is more interested in creating a democratic community than in maintaining her position of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alfie-kohn/each-time-i-visit-such-a-classroom-where-the-teacher-is-more/) [Alfie Kohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfie-kohn/) > [Educators remind us that what counts in a classroom is not what the teacher teaches; it’s what the learner learns.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alfie-kohn/educators-remind-us-that-what-counts-in-a-classroom-is-not-what-the/) [Alfie Kohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfie-kohn/) > [In short, with each of the thousand-and-one problems that present themselves in family life, our choice is between controlling and teaching, between creating an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alfie-kohn/in-short-with-each-of-the-thousand-and-one-problems-that-present/) [Alfie Kohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfie-kohn/) > [To control students is to force them to accommodate to a preestablished curriculum.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alfie-kohn/to-control-students-is-to-force-them-to-accommodate-to-a/) [Alfie Kohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfie-kohn/) > [“But as I mastered the material, homework ceased to be necessary. A no homework policy is a challenge to me," he adds. "I am…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alfie-kohn/but-as-i-mastered-the-material-homework-ceased-to-be-necessary-a-no/) [Alfie Kohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfie-kohn/) [Explore all 88 Alfie Kohn quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfie-kohn/) ## More Accepted quotes > [Merkel has realized that the euro is not working, but she cannot change the narrative she has created because that narrative has caught the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-soros/merkel-has-realized-that-the-euro-is-not-working-but-she-cannot/) [George Soros](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-soros/) > [I started off playing by ear, and being around a bunch of musicians and playing in the streets and in the different parades and,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/troy-andrews/i-started-off-playing-by-ear-and-being-around-a-bunch-of-musicians/) [Troy Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/troy-andrews/) > [Greatness is not guarding yourself from people. Greatness is being accepted by the people](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-tyson/greatness-is-not-guarding-yourself-from-people-greatness-is-being/) [Mike Tyson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-tyson/) > [The idea that this world is a playground instead of a battleground has now been accepted in practice by the vast majority of Christians.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aiden-wilson-tozer/the-idea-that-this-world-is-a-playground-instead-of-a-battleground/) [Aiden Wilson Tozer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aiden-wilson-tozer/) > [Bruce Katz is a spectacular talent! He's a brilliant composer and arranger who uses uncommon and unique musical intelligence to redefine jazz and blues…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-coryell/bruce-katz-is-a-spectacular-talent-he-s-a-brilliant-composer-and/) [Larry Coryell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-coryell/) > [wishes for sons by Lucille Clifton i wish them cramps. i wish them a strange town and the last tampon. 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