--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When you are secure in yourself, know…" description: "\"“When you are secure in yourself, know what turns you on, and enjoy watching your partner watch you experience sexual pleasure, you have a highly novel..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/212/alexandra-katehakis-14291_addiction_when-you-are-secure-in-yourself-know-wha_1511807.jpg" --- # When you are secure in yourself, know what turns you on… ![“When you are secure in yourself, know what turns you on, and enjoy watching your partner watch you experience sexual pleasure, you have a highly novel relationship grounded in love. The experience of seeing and being seen fuels lust and desire. This is exactly the way you integrate healthy lust…” quote by Alexandra Katehakis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/212/alexandra-katehakis-14291_addiction_when-you-are-secure-in-yourself-know-wha_1511807.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/212/alexandra-katehakis-14291_addiction_when-you-are-secure-in-yourself-know-wha_1511807.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/212/alexandra-katehakis-14291_addiction_when-you-are-secure-in-yourself-know-wha_1511807.jpg) > ““When you are secure in yourself, know what turns you on, and enjoy watching your partner watch you experience sexual pleasure, you have a highly novel relationship grounded in love. The experience of seeing and being seen fuels lust and desire. This is exactly the way you integrate healthy lust and love into your sex life. It’s relational sex, not the old pornographic sex of past addictions.”” [Alexandra Katehakis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexandra-katehakis/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Understanding self‑security and mutual arousal creates a relationship where love and lust reinforce each other, fostering authentic intimacy. **In simple terms:** Secure self and shared pleasure deepen love. Key Takeaway Cultivate self‑awareness and mutual enjoyment. Themes intimacy sexuality self‑esteem mutual desire Mood trustful passionate Type relationship sexuality When to use this quote - partner communication - sexual exploration - relationship counseling Key Concepts relational sex healthy lust love integration Questions to Reflect On - How does self‑security affect partner dynamics? - What boundaries protect healthy relational sex? A Different Perspective May become self‑focused or neglect boundaries. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Addiction](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/addiction/) [Desire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/desire/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Lust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lust/) [Lust And Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lust-and-love/) [Pornography](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pornography/) [Sex](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sex/) [Sex life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sex-life/) ## Related quotes > [It is the difference betwixt lust and love that this is fixed, that volatile. Love grows, lust wastes by enjoyment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-penn/it-is-the-difference-betwixt-lust-and-love-that-this-is-fixed-that/) [William Penn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-penn/) > [There is a big difference between lust and love. The problem with today is that some people don't know the difference anymore.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zhat/there-is-a-big-difference-between-lust-and-love-the-problem-with/) [Zhat](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zhat/) > [“She gave him a happy look as he followed her out on the water-soaked wooden walk. 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I saw what a consuming,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joni-eareckson/i-had-lusted-after-donald-after-his-time-his-attention-his-presence/) Joni Eareckson > [“I care not for lust or desire. That's too ephemeral a sentiment; throughly incapable of encompassing the depth of that which I seek. Lust…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eiry-nieves/i-care-not-for-lust-or-desire-that-s-too-ephemeral-a-sentiment/) [Eiry Nieves](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eiry-nieves/) > [“Lust? I have no desire to incite lust in anyone." Veliss turned to her with a quizzical expression, her smile suddenly genuine. "Then I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-ryan/lust-i-have-no-desire-to-incite-lust-in-anyone-veliss-turned-to-her/) [Anthony Ryan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-ryan/) > [Lust is as it were desire and desire, will which extends beyond the natural will, passionate, not governed by the law and moderation. There…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patriarch-philaret-of-moscow/lust-is-as-it-were-desire-and-desire-will-which-extends-beyond-the/) Patriarch Philaret of Moscow > [“Addiction" might be the best word to explain the lostness that so deeply permeates society. Our addiction make us cling to what the world…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-j-m-nouwen/addiction-might-be-the-best-word-to-explain-the-lostness-that-so/) [Henri J.M. Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-j-m-nouwen/) > [“Seven Cities was an ancient civilization, steeped in the power of antiquity, where Ascendants once walked on every trader track, every footpath, every lost…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-erikson/seven-cities-was-an-ancient-civilization-steeped-in-the-power-of/) [Steven Erikson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-erikson/) > [“For Plato, the quickening of the heart that occurred when a person saw his or her loved one was just a step in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-amidon/for-plato-the-quickening-of-the-heart-that-occurred-when-a-person-saw/) Stephen Amidon ## More by Alexandra Katehakis > [“Caring is open-hearted, keeping us available to transmit love to a stranger through simple eye contact and without condition. This is not the opportunistic…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexandra-katehakis/caring-is-open-hearted-keeping-us-available-to-transmit-love-to-a/) [Alexandra Katehakis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexandra-katehakis/) > [“Know that you get second chances so that you may change the art of your interaction, not so that others might finally treat you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexandra-katehakis/know-that-you-get-second-chances-so-that-you-may-change-the-art-of/) [Alexandra Katehakis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexandra-katehakis/) > [“All infants and children require and deserve comfort in order to develop properly. Soft cooing voices, gentle touch, smiles, cleanliness, and wholesome food all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexandra-katehakis/all-infants-and-children-require-and-deserve-comfort-in-order-to/) [Alexandra Katehakis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexandra-katehakis/) > [“Sexual energy between two people is a primal force comprised of power (energy that moves toward another) and virtue (knowing the energy between the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexandra-katehakis/sexual-energy-between-two-people-is-a-primal-force-comprised-of-power/) [Alexandra Katehakis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexandra-katehakis/) > [“Summoning gratitude is a sure way to get our life back on track. 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Recognize each circumstance as having a particular bearing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexandra-katehakis/everything-you-perceive-is-your-presence-today-look-deeply-into-every/) [Alexandra Katehakis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexandra-katehakis/) > [“Above all, consider this: The greatest gift we can give ourselves, our children, and our world is to live well and love well.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexandra-katehakis/above-all-consider-this-the-greatest-gift-we-can-give-ourselves-our/) [Alexandra Katehakis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexandra-katehakis/) > [“Reckless. Insatiable. Deceptive. Clingy. Vain. Dismissive. Trivial. Violent. Tactless. Controlling. Impractical. Fearful. Think of one example in your past where you exhibited each of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexandra-katehakis/reckless-insatiable-deceptive-clingy-vain-dismissive-trivial-violent/) [Alexandra Katehakis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexandra-katehakis/) > [“People often ask: If there’s a God, how can He allow so much suffering in the world? Realize all world suffering you perceive is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexandra-katehakis/people-often-ask-if-there-s-a-god-how-can-he-allow-so-much-suffering/) [Alexandra Katehakis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexandra-katehakis/) > [“Take a trip to the exotic landscape of your lover’s body.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexandra-katehakis/take-a-trip-to-the-exotic-landscape-of-your-lover-s-body/) [Alexandra Katehakis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexandra-katehakis/) > [“Perhaps the most important sexual tool is consciousness. If we think we are "not enough" or "too much," we surely are. 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When we step out of the delirium of always seeking someone new, and meet the same…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexandra-katehakis/intensity-seeking-is-an-enslavement-of-our-own-perpetuation-when-we/) [Alexandra Katehakis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexandra-katehakis/) [Explore all 47 Alexandra Katehakis quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexandra-katehakis/) ## More Addiction quotes > [What has drug addiction done for me? It's cost me my career, my fortune and basically my sex life when I found out I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robbin-crosby/what-has-drug-addiction-done-for-me-it-s-cost-me-my-career-my-fortune/) Robbin Crosby > [“The idea that creative endeavor and mind-altering substances are entwined is one of the great pop-intellectual myths of our time... Creative people probably do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/the-idea-that-creative-endeavor-and-mind-altering-substances-are/) [Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/) > [I really think the disease aspect gets lost when you're talking about alcoholism and addiction; it's not like you're battling leukemia or a heart…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-irsay/i-really-think-the-disease-aspect-gets-lost-when-you-re-talking-about/) [Jim Irsay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-irsay/) > [I had an addiction to artificial points of success. Like being able to run for this or run for that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ruben-gallego/i-had-an-addiction-to-artificial-points-of-success-like-being-able-to/) [Ruben Gallego](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ruben-gallego/) > [“Addictions are just symptoms of underlying issues, and in my view Nikki self-medicated the emotional pain of his childhood, and being away from his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikki-sixx/addictions-are-just-symptoms-of-underlying-issues-and-in-my-view/) [Nikki Sixx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikki-sixx/) > [“Oil. The great addiction of the civilized world”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-warren/oil-the-great-addiction-of-the-civilized-world/) [Andrew Warren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-warren/) > [“They say when you fall in love in love with someone that person becomes like a drug,an addiction you don't want to live without.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/they-say-when-you-fall-in-love-in-love-with-someone-that-person/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Addictions - Run to Jesus instead of running to your addiction.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-meyer/addictions-run-to-jesus-instead-of-running-to-your-addiction/) [Joyce Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-meyer/) > [Music is my personal addiction. So much of everything I've done has only been to open more doors for the music itself. It all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dolly-parton/music-is-my-personal-addiction-so-much-of-everything-i-ve-done-has/) [Dolly Parton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dolly-parton/) > [“I am made of a thousand ghosts. Only you can shoot me down.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bella-james/i-am-made-of-a-thousand-ghosts-only-you-can-shoot-me-down/) Bella James > [Religious work is one of the best ways to keep from facing your reality if you are Christian, if you are using it to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/keith-miller/religious-work-is-one-of-the-best-ways-to-keep-from-facing-your/) [Keith Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/keith-miller/) > [Cold sweats, hallucinations I wanna speed to stop. The hell I'm going through The addiction's taking you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bullet-for-my-valentine/cold-sweats-hallucinations-i-wanna-speed-to-stop-the-hell-i-m-going/) [Bullet For My Valentine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bullet-for-my-valentine/) > [As addictions go, reading is among the cleanest, easiest to feed, happiest.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-addison/as-addictions-go-reading-is-among-the-cleanest-easiest-to-feed/) [Joseph Addison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-addison/) > [“Alcoholism is a choice... not a life sentence.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-norman/alcoholism-is-a-choice-not-a-life-sentence/) David Norman > [“Suckers think that you cure greed with money, addiction with substances, expert problems with experts, banking with bankers, economics with economists, and debt crises…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nassim-nicholas-taleb/suckers-think-that-you-cure-greed-with-money-addiction-with/) [Nassim Nicholas Taleb](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nassim-nicholas-taleb/) [Browse all 2,134 Addiction quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/addiction/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“When you are secure in yourself, know what turns you on, and enjoy watching your partner watch you experience sexual pleasure, you have a highly novel relationship grounded in love. 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