--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The only way you can make a marriage work…" description: "\"The only way you can make a marriage work is as free, independent people. It needs to be based on the good feelings that you have for each other, not o..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04c/alexander-lowen-11650_feelings_the-only-way-you-can-make-a-marriage-wor_2960369.jpg" --- # The only way you can make a marriage work is as free… ![“The only way you can make a marriage work is as free, independent people. It needs to be based on the good feelings that you have for each other, not on need.” quote by Alexander Lowen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04c/alexander-lowen-11650_feelings_the-only-way-you-can-make-a-marriage-wor_2960369.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04c/alexander-lowen-11650_feelings_the-only-way-you-can-make-a-marriage-wor_2960369.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04c/alexander-lowen-11650_feelings_the-only-way-you-can-make-a-marriage-wor_2960369.jpg) > “The only way you can make a marriage work is as free, independent people. It needs to be based on the good feelings that you have for each other, not on need.” [Alexander Lowen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-lowen/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Healthy marriage needs free, independent partners, not dependence. **In simple terms:** Independence in marriage. Key Takeaway Cultivate mutual freedom. Themes relationships independence love Mood thoughtful balanced Type psychological advice When to use this quote - couples therapy - cohabitation - conflict resolution Key Concepts dependency personal growth Questions to Reflect On - How do you maintain individuality in a partnership? - What boundaries support love? A Different Perspective Balancing freedom and intimacy is hard. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Feelings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feelings/) [Free Independent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/free-independent-407135/) [Good feeling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/good-feeling/) [Good Feelings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/good-feelings/) [Independent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/independent/) [Independent People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/independent-people-670661/) [Make Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/make-marriage-281284/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Marriage Work](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage-work/) [Needs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/needs/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Way](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way/) ## Related quotes > [I don't know what it takes to make marriage work, but I'm going to keep trying until I get it right. I haven't given…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-mills/i-don-t-know-what-it-takes-to-make-marriage-work-but-i-m-going-to/) [Stephanie Mills](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-mills/) > [Politics is not really different from marriage. You cannot get things done in your relationship if you tell your wife: Look, if you haven't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arnold-schwarzenegger/politics-is-not-really-different-from-marriage-you-cannot-get-things/) [Arnold Schwarzenegger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arnold-schwarzenegger/) > [It's a lot of work to make a marriage work. Just because you have been married for a while doesn't mean you can sit…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malaika-arora-khan/it-s-a-lot-of-work-to-make-a-marriage-work-just-because-you-have-been/) [Malaika Arora Khan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malaika-arora-khan/) > [Lots of people have asked me what Gracie and I did to make our marriage work. It's simple - we don't do anything. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-burns/lots-of-people-have-asked-me-what-gracie-and-i-did-to-make-our/) [George Burns](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-burns/) > [To make a marriage work, you have to want to. If you want to stay with that person, you will. It's simple.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anita-dobson/to-make-a-marriage-work-you-have-to-want-to-if-you-want-to-stay-with/) [Anita Dobson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anita-dobson/) > [“If only I had known that it takes a lot more than love to make a marriage work, then maybe our story would be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mia-asher/if-only-i-had-known-that-it-takes-a-lot-more-than-love-to-make-a/) [Mia Asher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mia-asher/) > [Most unmarried people have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work; they grossly underestimate the price people have to pay to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-hybels/most-unmarried-people-have-no-idea-what-it-takes-to-make-a-marriage/) [Bill Hybels](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-hybels/) > [People try much less hard to make a marriage work than they used to fifty years ago. 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Getting married is forever, no matter what my spouse does.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-mlynowski/when-i-get-married-i-m-going-to-make-the-marriage-work-getting/) [Sarah Mlynowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-mlynowski/) > [This is about the daily ins and outs of a marriage. I don't want to give away the ending, but they are trying either…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-reiner/this-is-about-the-daily-ins-and-outs-of-a-marriage-i-don-t-want-to/) [Rob Reiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-reiner/) > [“It takes two to make a marriage work and two to make it fall apart.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-kingsbury/it-takes-two-to-make-a-marriage-work-and-two-to-make-it-fall-apart/) [Karen Kingsbury](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-kingsbury/) > [There's no formula that can make a marriage work. Sometimes two people just click.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rishi-kapoor/there-s-no-formula-that-can-make-a-marriage-work-sometimes-two-people/) [Rishi Kapoor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rishi-kapoor/) > [How do you make your marriage work?, It's simple, I just married my best friend.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/valentine-s-day-movie/how-do-you-make-your-marriage-work-it-s-simple-i-just-married-my-best/) [Valentine's Day Movie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/valentine-s-day-movie/) ## More by Alexander Lowen > [Not to fear a person with power--to profess, instead, one's love--is to deny that that person has power.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-lowen/not-to-fear-a-person-with-power-to-profess-instead-one-s-love-is-to/) [Alexander Lowen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-lowen/) > [“You will stay in therapy as long as you feel it is worth the time, effort and money you invest.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-lowen/you-will-stay-in-therapy-as-long-as-you-feel-it-is-worth-the-time/) [Alexander Lowen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-lowen/) > [It is only by making the past alive again for a person that a true growth in the present is facilitated. If the past…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-lowen/it-is-only-by-making-the-past-alive-again-for-a-person-that-a-true/) [Alexander Lowen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-lowen/) > [Despair is the only cure for illusion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-lowen/despair-is-the-only-cure-for-illusion/) [Alexander Lowen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-lowen/) > [Faith is a quality of being: of being in touch with oneself, with life, and with the universe. It is a sense of belonging…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-lowen/faith-is-a-quality-of-being-of-being-in-touch-with-oneself-with-life/) [Alexander Lowen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-lowen/) > [“As adults, we have many inhibitions against crying. We feel it is an expression of weakness, or femininity or of childishness. 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It is a way of being.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-lowen/sexuality-is-not-a-leisure-or-part-time-activity-it-is-a-way-of-being/) [Alexander Lowen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-lowen/) > [The ego exists as a powerful force in Western man that cannot be dismissed or denied. The therapeutic goal is to integrate the ego…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-lowen/the-ego-exists-as-a-powerful-force-in-western-man-that-cannot-be/) [Alexander Lowen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-lowen/) > [Are we not witnessing a situation where children are conciously rejecting their parents' value despite love and devotion given to them? The present situation…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-lowen/are-we-not-witnessing-a-situation-where-children-are-conciously/) [Alexander Lowen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-lowen/) > [ “Happiness is the consciousness of growth. \[...\] If my definition has validity, it suggests that most people come to therapy because they sense their… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-lowen/happiness-is-the-consciousness-of-growth-if-my-definition-has/) [Alexander Lowen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-lowen/) > [The person senses what it feels like to be free from inhibitions. At the same time he feels connected and integrated – with his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-lowen/the-person-senses-what-it-feels-like-to-be-free-from-inhibitions-at/) [Alexander Lowen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-lowen/) > [The feeling of love is a rich feeling, but the expression of love in word or deed is a joy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-lowen/the-feeling-of-love-is-a-rich-feeling-but-the-expression-of-love-in/) [Alexander Lowen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-lowen/) > [Everyone who becomes a psychotherapist eventually adopts a theory that suits his needs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-lowen/everyone-who-becomes-a-psychotherapist-eventually-adopts-a-theory/) [Alexander Lowen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-lowen/) [Explore all 58 Alexander Lowen quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-lowen/) ## More Feelings quotes > [I have a strong feeling about this quick movement and changing of society and populations growing - something scary.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hiroshi-sugimoto/i-have-a-strong-feeling-about-this-quick-movement-and-changing-of/) [Hiroshi Sugimoto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hiroshi-sugimoto/) > [Gratitude isn't just a feeling, it's an action. Expressing gratitude by writing in a journal, taking a photo, or shooting a video creates a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janice-kaplan/gratitude-isn-t-just-a-feeling-it-s-an-action-expressing-gratitude-by/) [Janice Kaplan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janice-kaplan/) > [We never realize the importance of any our action until we be the hunt of same situation in reaction.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fadi/we-never-realize-the-importance-of-any-our-action-until-we-be-the/) [Fadi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fadi/) > [Sometimes we wish for the feel but we never understand that we have to give a lot to get the feel !](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-reynolds/sometimes-we-wish-for-the-feel-but-we-never-understand-that-we-have/) [Robert Reynolds](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-reynolds/) > [When you're scared - and I mean really scared, not just hearing a noise in the night, or standing toe to toe with someone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-gordon-smith/when-you-re-scared-and-i-mean-really-scared-not-just-hearing-a-noise/) [Alexander Gordon Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-gordon-smith/) > [My feeling has always been that 'Good Eats' would have never happened had it been left to a committee.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alton-brown/my-feeling-has-always-been-that-good-eats-would-have-never-happened/) [Alton Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alton-brown/) > [Jobs and money are never the primary cause of stress. Thinking, negative thinking causes stress. The real cause of all problems lie in our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-proctor/jobs-and-money-are-never-the-primary-cause-of-stress-thinking/) [Bob Proctor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-proctor/) > [If someone really loves you, no matter how many other people they meet, their feelings for you wouldn't change. A real lover cant be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-someone-really-loves-you-no-matter-how-many-other-people-they-meet/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [It can sometimes make people fold into themselves and kind of run away, but I think in this case these characters are being forced…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-deschanel/it-can-sometimes-make-people-fold-into-themselves-and-kind-of-run/) [Emily Deschanel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-deschanel/) > [“I urge you: don't cut short these thought-trains of yours. Follow them through to their end. 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It means to know that one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-becker/what-does-it-mean-to-be-a-self-conscious-animal-the-idea-is-ludicrous/) [Ernest Becker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-becker/) [Browse all 21,172 Feelings quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feelings/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The only way you can make a marriage work is as free, independent people. 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