---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: We fall in love because we long to escape…"
description: "\"We fall in love because we long to escape from ourselves with someone as beautiful, intelligent, and witty as we are ugly, stupid, and dull. But what i..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b35/alain-de-botton-221_bad-taste_we-fall-in-love-because-we-long-to-escap_1423821.jpg"
---

#  We fall in love because we long to escape from ourselves…

![“We fall in love because we long to escape from ourselves with someone as beautiful, intelligent, and witty as we are ugly, stupid, and dull. But what if such a perfect being should one day turn around and decide they will love us back? We can only be somewhat shocked-how can they be as wonderful…” quote by Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b35/alain-de-botton-221_bad-taste_we-fall-in-love-because-we-long-to-escap_1423821.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b35/alain-de-botton-221_bad-taste_we-fall-in-love-because-we-long-to-escap_1423821.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b35/alain-de-botton-221_bad-taste_we-fall-in-love-because-we-long-to-escap_1423821.jpg)

> “We fall in love because we long to escape from ourselves with someone as beautiful, intelligent, and witty as we are ugly, stupid, and dull. But what if such a perfect being should one day turn around and decide they will love us back? We can only be somewhat shocked-how can they be as wonderful as we had hoped when they have the bad taste to approve of someone like us?”

[Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Explores how love can be a mirror that reveals our insecurities yet also offers the chance for mutual affirmation.

**In simple terms:** Love reveals flaws but can also validate us.

Key Takeaway

Seek relationships that uplift and accept you.

Themes

love self‑acceptance vulnerability esteem growth

Mood

hopeful reflective

Type

philosophical inspirational

When to use this quote

- dating
- friendship
- therapy
- self‑reflection
- support groups

Key Concepts

psychology philosophy interpersonal dynamics

Questions to Reflect On

- What qualities do you truly value in a partner?
- How can you cultivate self‑love before seeking external validation?

A Different Perspective

Idealizing partners may set unrealistic expectations.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Bad taste](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bad-taste/) [Beautiful](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/beautiful/) [Decide Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/decide-love/) [Dull](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dull/) [Escape Beautiful](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/escape-beautiful-4301004/) [Fall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fall/) [Fall in love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fall-in-love/) [Fall Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fall-love/) [Falling in love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/falling-in-love/) [Intelligent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/intelligent/) [L love u](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/l-love-u/) [Long](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/long/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Love Somewhat](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-somewhat-1609504/) [Love u](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-u/) [One day](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/one-day/) [Perfect](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/perfect/) [Should](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/should/) [Stupid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stupid/) [Taste](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/taste/) [Turns](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/turns/) [Ugly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ugly/) [What if](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/what-if/) [Witty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/witty/) [Wonderful](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wonderful/)

## Related quotes

> [You, methinks you think you love me well; For me, I love you somewhat; rest: and Love Should have some rest and pleasure in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alfred-lord-tennyson/you-methinks-you-think-you-love-me-well-for-me-i-love-you-somewhat/)

[Alfred Lord Tennyson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfred-lord-tennyson/)

> [“~My Mind Is The Escape To A Beautiful World~”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexis-travis/my-mind-is-the-escape-to-a-beautiful-world/)

[Alexis Travis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexis-travis/)

> [There is no one to tell this to and yet it seems very important to get this right. The reality and what it is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-heller/there-is-no-one-to-tell-this-to-and-yet-it-seems-very-important-to/)

[Peter Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-heller/)

> [The Cycle of True Love: First I see and think I love, then I say I know I love, today and forever more I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-sweeney/the-cycle-of-true-love-first-i-see-and-think-i-love-then-i-say-i-know/)

[Michael Sweeney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-sweeney/)

> [When you decide to love yourself the most everybody else fall in line.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/best-of-me/when-you-decide-to-love-yourself-the-most-everybody-else-fall-in-line/)

[Best\_of\_me](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/best-of-me/)

> [“I decide to put love in everything I do from this day forward. With every fold of laundry, every push of the grocery cart,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-todd-scarpulla/i-decide-to-put-love-in-everything-i-do-from-this-day-forward-with/)

[Karen Todd Scarpulla](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-todd-scarpulla/)

> [When you decide to love, Allow it to grow. When you promise to love, Refuse to let it go. Love is a painful risk…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sahleenzlie/when-you-decide-to-love-allow-it-to-grow-when-you-promise-to-love/)

[Sahleenzlie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sahleenzlie/)

> [I did not decide to love you, it is just happened,but I decide to wait for you and be only with you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-did-not-decide-to-love-you-it-is-just-happened-but-i-decide-to-wait/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Love is pretty much a decision anyway. Just like happiness. You can decide to either love someone or not, be happy or not. The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caprice-crane/love-is-pretty-much-a-decision-anyway-just-like-happiness-you-can/)

[Caprice Crane](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caprice-crane/)

> [“Had he any choice? Can one decide whether to love or not? Yes, probably. One could walk away from life and choose half a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-perry/had-he-any-choice-can-one-decide-whether-to-love-or-not-yes-probably/)

[Anne Perry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-perry/)

> [When we are looking for someone to love, we do so with images of perfection in our mind. He/She has to be true, beautiful,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mhargs-abuda/when-we-are-looking-for-someone-to-love-we-do-so-with-images-of/)

[Mhargs Abuda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mhargs-abuda/)

> [Not everything in life is easy but the hardest thing you'll witness is seeing the one you love trying to decide if they still…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nishan-panwar/not-everything-in-life-is-easy-but-the-hardest-thing-you-ll-witness/)

[Nishan Panwar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nishan-panwar/)

> [Instead of wondering why you're not getting the love you should get, decide to give the love you should give.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-williams/instead-of-wondering-why-you-re-not-getting-the-love-you-should-get/)

[Craig Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-williams/)

> [“You don't fall in love once you cross teenage, You just decide whether to be in love or not.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/santhosh-namballa/you-don-t-fall-in-love-once-you-cross-teenage-you-just-decide-whether/)

[Santhosh Namballa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/santhosh-namballa/)

> [The day you finally decide to love me will be the day after I have given up on chasing you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shay-ricks/the-day-you-finally-decide-to-love-me-will-be-the-day-after-i-have/)

[Shay Ricks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shay-ricks/)

## More by Alain de Botton

> [“To be mature is, we're told, to move beyond possessiveness. Jealousy is for babies. The mature person knows that no one owns anyone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/to-be-mature-is-we-re-told-to-move-beyond-possessiveness-jealousy-is/)

[Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/)

> [“He feared that by leaving her he would ruin her life - so he stayed, and did just that.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/he-feared-that-by-leaving-her-he-would-ruin-her-life-so-he-stayed-and/)

[Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/)

> [You have to be quite heavily invested in someone to do them the honour of telling them you're annoyed with them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/you-have-to-be-quite-heavily-invested-in-someone-to-do-them-the/)

[Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/)

> [“The Anxiety of Sunday afternoon: your unlived lives and infinite possibility pressing upon the constraints of reality.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/the-anxiety-of-sunday-afternoon-your-unlived-lives-and-infinite/)

[Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/)

> [Those who divorce aren't necessarily the most unhappy, just those neatly able to believe their misery is caused by one other person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/those-who-divorce-aren-t-necessarily-the-most-unhappy-just-those/)

[Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/)

> [“We could not be fulfilled if we weren't inauthentic some of the time—inauthentic, that is, in relation to such things as our passing desires…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/we-could-not-be-fulfilled-if-we-weren-t-inauthentic-some-of-the-time/)

[Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/)

> [“Insofar as we appreciate order, it is when we perceive it as being accompanied by complexity, when we feel that a variety of elements…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/insofar-as-we-appreciate-order-it-is-when-we-perceive-it-as-being/)

[Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/)

> [I like the values associated with a medical family - common sense, being practical but also thoughtful.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/i-like-the-values-associated-with-a-medical-family-common-sense-being/)

[Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/)

> [“Anyone who urgently needs us deserves, in the true book of love, to be our friend.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/anyone-who-urgently-needs-us-deserves-in-the-true-book-of-love-to-be/)

[Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/)

> [“We can then recognize that we invented religions to serve two central needs which continue to this day and which secular society has not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/we-can-then-recognize-that-we-invented-religions-to-serve-two-central/)

[Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/)

> [“Half the ingratitude and complacency in the world down to how slowly and imperceptibly most good and bad things unfold.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/half-the-ingratitude-and-complacency-in-the-world-down-to-how-slowly/)

[Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/)

> [It is perhaps when our lives are at their most problematic that we are likely to be most receptive to beautiful things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/it-is-perhaps-when-our-lives-are-at-their-most-problematic-that-we/)

[Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/)

> [“Does what is praised becomes better? Does an emerald become worse if it isn't praised? And what a gold, ivory, a flower or a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/does-what-is-praised-becomes-better-does-an-emerald-become-worse-if/)

[Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/)

> [The bourgeois thinkers of the eighteenth century thus turned Aristotle's formula on its head: satisfactions which the Greek philosopher had identified with leisure were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/the-bourgeois-thinkers-of-the-eighteenth-century-thus-turned/)

[Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/)

> [Reputation matters so much only because people so seldom think for themselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/reputation-matters-so-much-only-because-people-so-seldom-think-for/)

[Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/)

[Explore all 850 Alain de Botton quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/)

## More Bad taste quotes

> [When I passed the Chancellor he arose, waved his hand at me, and I waved back at him. I think the writers showed bad…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-owens/when-i-passed-the-chancellor-he-arose-waved-his-hand-at-me-and-i/)

[Jesse Owens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jesse-owens/)

> [The Derby experience had not been good for me and the way it finished left a very bad taste in my mouth so I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nigel-pearson/the-derby-experience-had-not-been-good-for-me-and-the-way-it-finished/)

[Nigel Pearson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nigel-pearson/)

> [Good taste is better than bad taste, but bad taste is better than no taste.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arnold-bennett/good-taste-is-better-than-bad-taste-but-bad-taste-is-better-than-no/)

[Arnold Bennett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arnold-bennett/)

> [“Others praise ceremonial Magic, and are supposed to suffer much Ecstasy! Our asylums are crowded, the stage is over-run! Is it by symbolizing we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/austin-osman-spare-2/others-praise-ceremonial-magic-and-are-supposed-to-suffer-much/)

[Austin Osman, Spare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/austin-osman-spare-2/)

> [Salvador Dali has been called kitsch, but, although some of this work may be grotesque, its brazenly self-conscious bad taste saves it from being…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-dutton/salvador-dali-has-been-called-kitsch-but-although-some-of-this-work/)

[Denis Dutton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-dutton/)

> [“Bryan gaped, as though that was more than he'd been expecting. "Oh. Okay. Well, um, there's a silent film festival downtown next week. Do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richelle-mead/bryan-gaped-as-though-that-was-more-than-he-d-been-expecting-oh-okay/)

[Richelle Mead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richelle-mead/)

> [“lack, or loutish and crass kollective is a program dedicated to the proposition that vulgarity and bad taste are an inalienable right. the lackies,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fran-lebowitz/lack-or-loutish-and-crass-kollective-is-a-program-dedicated-to-the/)

[Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fran-lebowitz/)

> [It's not about doing over the living room of someone who has bad taste in color. This is about restoring historic buildings and instilling…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/genevieve-gorder/it-s-not-about-doing-over-the-living-room-of-someone-who-has-bad/)

[Genevieve Gorder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/genevieve-gorder/)

> [The kind of people who always go on about whether a thing is in good taste invariably have very bad taste.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-orton/the-kind-of-people-who-always-go-on-about-whether-a-thing-is-in-good/)

[Joe Orton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-orton/)

> [“Life is too short for bad taste.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/glenn-russell/life-is-too-short-for-bad-taste/)

[Glenn Russell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/glenn-russell/)

> [If you give a little credit to the concept of the artist, I think you ought to indulge excesses a bit, because that reflects…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-watterson/if-you-give-a-little-credit-to-the-concept-of-the-artist-i-think-you/)

[Bill Watterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-watterson/)

> [The line between humor and bad taste is your audience, in which some people will find everything offensive, and some people will find nothing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-mankoff/the-line-between-humor-and-bad-taste-is-your-audience-in-which-some/)

[Robert Mankoff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-mankoff/)

> [This is going to leave a bad taste in a lot of people's eyes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louise-day-hicks/this-is-going-to-leave-a-bad-taste-in-a-lot-of-people-s-eyes/)

[Louise Day Hicks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louise-day-hicks/)

> [To use bad taste, you have to know the rules of good taste. I've always thanked my mother for that. She taught how to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-waters/to-use-bad-taste-you-have-to-know-the-rules-of-good-taste-i-ve-always/)

[John Waters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-waters/)

> ['Bad Taste' was - it was, in many respects, my sort of, my, I guess, my single-minded desire to want to break into the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-jackson/bad-taste-was-it-was-in-many-respects-my-sort-of-my-i-guess-my-single/)

[Peter Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-jackson/)

[Browse all 230 Bad taste quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bad-taste/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "We fall in love because we long to escape from ourselves with someone as beautiful, intelligent, and witty as we are ugly, stupid, and dull. But what if such a perfect being should one day turn around and decide they will love us back? We can only be somewhat shocked-how can they be as wonderful as we had hoped when they have the bad taste to approve of someone like us?",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Alain de Botton"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/we-fall-in-love-because-we-long-to-escape-from-ourselves-with-someone/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Bad taste"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/we-fall-in-love-because-we-long-to-escape-from-ourselves-with-someone/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b35/alain-de-botton-221_bad-taste_we-fall-in-love-because-we-long-to-escap_1423821.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b35/alain-de-botton-221_bad-taste_we-fall-in-love-because-we-long-to-escap_1423821.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b35/alain-de-botton-221_bad-taste_we-fall-in-love-because-we-long-to-escap_1423821.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“We fall in love because we long to escape from ourselves with someone as beautiful, intelligent, and witty…” — Alain de Botton",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Alain de Botton",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "We fall in love because we...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/we-fall-in-love-because-we-long-to-escape-from-ourselves-with-someone/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/we-fall-in-love-because-we-long-to-escape-from-ourselves-with-someone/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
