--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Don't despair: despair suggests you are…" description: "\"Don't despair: despair suggests you are in total control and know what is coming. You don't - surrender to events with hope.\" — Alain de Botton" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa7/alain-de-botton-221_despair_don-t-despair-despair-suggests-you-are-i_1555991.jpg" --- # Don't despair: despair suggests you are in total control… ![“Don't despair: despair suggests you are in total control and know what is coming. You don't - surrender to events with hope.” quote by Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa7/alain-de-botton-221_despair_don-t-despair-despair-suggests-you-are-i_1555991.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa7/alain-de-botton-221_despair_don-t-despair-despair-suggests-you-are-i_1555991.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa7/alain-de-botton-221_despair_don-t-despair-despair-suggests-you-are-i_1555991.jpg) > “Don't despair: despair suggests you are in total control and know what is coming. You don't - surrender to events with hope.” [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Despair can be a sign of control, but surrendering hope leads to passive acceptance of events. **In simple terms:** Despair shows control; hope prevents passivity. Key Takeaway Balance awareness with hopeful action. Themes philosophy control hope despair Mood analytical motivational Type philosophical practical When to use this quote - career setbacks - personal loss - health crises - relationship issues Key Concepts existentialism psychology agency Questions to Reflect On - When does hope hinder realistic planning? - How can control be exercised without despair? A Different Perspective Hope can be unrealistic and discouraging. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Despair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/despair/) [Events](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/events/) [Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hope/) [Surrender](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/surrender/) ## Related quotes > [If there's more that you can do, then do it. If there's not more that you can do, then be content with what you're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stefan-molyneux/if-there-s-more-that-you-can-do-then-do-it-if-there-s-not-more-that/) [Stefan Molyneux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stefan-molyneux/) > [“Either Conquer Your Despair Or Your Despair Will Conquer You!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-pina/either-conquer-your-despair-or-your-despair-will-conquer-you/) [Timothy Pina](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-pina/) > [The pleasure of despair. But then, it is in despair that we find the most acute pleasure, especially when we are aware of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fyodor-dostoevsky/the-pleasure-of-despair-but-then-it-is-in-despair-that-we-find-the/) [Fyodor Dostoevsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fyodor-dostoevsky/) > [Marriage...we cannot do without it, and yet we disgrace and vilify the same. It may be compared to a cage, the birds without despair…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michel-de-montaigne/marriage-we-cannot-do-without-it-and-yet-we-disgrace-and-vilify-the/) [Michel De Montaigne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michel-de-montaigne/) > [Goals incapable of attainment have driven many a man to despair, but despair is easier to get to than that -- one need merely…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-barthelme/goals-incapable-of-attainment-have-driven-many-a-man-to-despair-but/) [Donald Barthelme](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-barthelme/) > [I shall despair when I despair of myself, of God and humanity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mahatma-gandhi/i-shall-despair-when-i-despair-of-myself-of-god-and-humanity/) [Mahatma Gandhi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mahatma-gandhi/) > [“they no longer had any hope, but they had despair. Despair is a last weapon that sometimes brings victory; Virgil said so.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/victor-hugo/they-no-longer-had-any-hope-but-they-had-despair-despair-is-a-last/) [Victor Hugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/victor-hugo/) > [ It's one thing to be discouraged. It's another thing to have despair. Despair is when you think there's just no end to this \[suffering\].… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/max-lucado/it-s-one-thing-to-be-discouraged-it-s-another-thing-to-have-despair/) [Max Lucado](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/max-lucado/) > [“Despair, or folly?’ said Gandalf. ‘It is not despair, for despair is only for those who see the end beyond all doubt. We do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-r-r-tolkien-2/despair-or-folly-said-gandalf-it-is-not-despair-for-despair-is-only/) [J. R. R. Tolkien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-r-r-tolkien-2/) > [The opposite of hope is despair, and when we despair, it is because we feel there are no choices.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-g-bennis/the-opposite-of-hope-is-despair-and-when-we-despair-it-is-because-we/) [Warren G. Bennis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-g-bennis/) > [“I wonder if it is possible to escape the clinches of despair; or would despair become the hunter and reclaim me as its prisoner.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-b-brewer/i-wonder-if-it-is-possible-to-escape-the-clinches-of-despair-or-would/) [Nancy B. Brewer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-b-brewer/) > [Doubt is thought's despair; despair is personality's doubt. . . . Doubt and despair . . . belong to completely different spheres; different sides…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/soren-kierkegaard/doubt-is-thought-s-despair-despair-is-personality-s-doubt-doubt-and/) [Soren Kierkegaard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/soren-kierkegaard/) > [“She hadn’t thought anything could squeeze past the pain in her head, the ache in her stomach, the sizzle of shame in her blood.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-roberts/she-hadn-t-thought-anything-could-squeeze-past-the-pain-in-her-head/) [Nora Roberts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-roberts/) > [Despair is despair, sorrow is sorrow, death is death. It's not about who is experiencing it; it's about building a bridge of empathy across…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/okieriete-onaodowan/despair-is-despair-sorrow-is-sorrow-death-is-death-it-s-not-about-who/) [Okieriete Onaodowan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/okieriete-onaodowan/) > [My despair is less despair than boredom and loneliness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-swofford/my-despair-is-less-despair-than-boredom-and-loneliness/) [Anthony Swofford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-swofford/) ## More by Alain de Botton > [“To be mature is, we're told, to move beyond possessiveness. Jealousy is for babies. The mature person knows that no one owns anyone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/to-be-mature-is-we-re-told-to-move-beyond-possessiveness-jealousy-is/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“He feared that by leaving her he would ruin her life - so he stayed, and did just that.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/he-feared-that-by-leaving-her-he-would-ruin-her-life-so-he-stayed-and/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [You have to be quite heavily invested in someone to do them the honour of telling them you're annoyed with them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/you-have-to-be-quite-heavily-invested-in-someone-to-do-them-the/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“The Anxiety of Sunday afternoon: your unlived lives and infinite possibility pressing upon the constraints of reality.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/the-anxiety-of-sunday-afternoon-your-unlived-lives-and-infinite/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [Those who divorce aren't necessarily the most unhappy, just those neatly able to believe their misery is caused by one other person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/those-who-divorce-aren-t-necessarily-the-most-unhappy-just-those/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“We could not be fulfilled if we weren't inauthentic some of the time—inauthentic, that is, in relation to such things as our passing desires…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/we-could-not-be-fulfilled-if-we-weren-t-inauthentic-some-of-the-time/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“Insofar as we appreciate order, it is when we perceive it as being accompanied by complexity, when we feel that a variety of elements…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/insofar-as-we-appreciate-order-it-is-when-we-perceive-it-as-being/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [I like the values associated with a medical family - common sense, being practical but also thoughtful.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/i-like-the-values-associated-with-a-medical-family-common-sense-being/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“Anyone who urgently needs us deserves, in the true book of love, to be our friend.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/anyone-who-urgently-needs-us-deserves-in-the-true-book-of-love-to-be/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“We can then recognize that we invented religions to serve two central needs which continue to this day and which secular society has not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/we-can-then-recognize-that-we-invented-religions-to-serve-two-central/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“Half the ingratitude and complacency in the world down to how slowly and imperceptibly most good and bad things unfold.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/half-the-ingratitude-and-complacency-in-the-world-down-to-how-slowly/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [It is perhaps when our lives are at their most problematic that we are likely to be most receptive to beautiful things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/it-is-perhaps-when-our-lives-are-at-their-most-problematic-that-we/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“Does what is praised becomes better? Does an emerald become worse if it isn't praised? And what a gold, ivory, a flower or a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/does-what-is-praised-becomes-better-does-an-emerald-become-worse-if/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [The bourgeois thinkers of the eighteenth century thus turned Aristotle's formula on its head: satisfactions which the Greek philosopher had identified with leisure were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/the-bourgeois-thinkers-of-the-eighteenth-century-thus-turned/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [Reputation matters so much only because people so seldom think for themselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/reputation-matters-so-much-only-because-people-so-seldom-think-for/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) [Explore all 850 Alain de Botton quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) ## More Despair quotes > [“As ofttimes as it rains on my little spot of earth, you'd think I'd grow accustomed to the gloom.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richelle-e-goodrich/as-ofttimes-as-it-rains-on-my-little-spot-of-earth-you-d-think-i-d/) [Richelle E. Goodrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richelle-e-goodrich/) > [“She searched her mind for a single day when it had felt good to be alive. There must have been one, surely?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-abbott/she-searched-her-mind-for-a-single-day-when-it-had-felt-good-to-be/) [Rachel Abbott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-abbott/) > [“Men circle like bees around honey, buzzing to communicate their sexual despair.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carla-h-krueger/men-circle-like-bees-around-honey-buzzing-to-communicate-their-sexual/) [Carla H Krueger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carla-h-krueger/) > [I think what was special about 'Music by Prudence' was the classic story of the title subject's life path - from being an outcast…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roger-ross-williams/i-think-what-was-special-about-music-by-prudence-was-the-classic/) [Roger Ross Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roger-ross-williams/) > [Your spirit is the part of you that seeks meaning and purpose. It's the part drawn to hope, that will not give in to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caroline-myss/your-spirit-is-the-part-of-you-that-seeks-meaning-and-purpose-it-s/) [Caroline Myss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caroline-myss/) > [My God, whose son, as on this night, took on Him the form of man, and for man vouchsafed to suffer and bleed, controls…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/my-god-whose-son-as-on-this-night-took-on-him-the-form-of-man-and-for/) [Charlotte Bronte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [The modernist writers found despair inspirational.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/the-modernist-writers-found-despair-inspirational/) [Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) > [The skin and shell of things Though fair are not Thy wish nor prayer but got My meer despair of wings.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-vaughan/the-skin-and-shell-of-things-though-fair-are-not-thy-wish-nor-prayer/) [Henry Vaughan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-vaughan/) > [“A fine setting for a fit of despair,” it occurred to him, “if I were only standing here by accident instead of design.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/franz-kafka/a-fine-setting-for-a-fit-of-despair-it-occurred-to-him-if-i-were-only/) [Franz Kafka](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/franz-kafka/) > [Enough for this bow & arrow. It caused me nothing but sorrow. No need for another tomorrow. In your heart, I will never be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louaiq8/enough-for-this-bow-arrow-it-caused-me-nothing-but-sorrow-no-need-for/) Louaiq8 > [True repentance never leads to despair. Its leads home. It leads to grace.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-ortberg/true-repentance-never-leads-to-despair-its-leads-home-it-leads-to/) [John Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-ortberg/) > [Do not consider despair as a thick and high wall standing on your way; it is just a darkness and you can still walk…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mehmet-murat-ildan/do-not-consider-despair-as-a-thick-and-high-wall-standing-on-your-way/) [Mehmet Murat ildan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mehmet-murat-ildan/) > [Despair is the price one pays for setting oneself an impossible aim. 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Feed a man, clothe him, put him in a good house,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-steinbeck/i-have-noticed-that-there-is-no-dissatisfaction-like-that-of-the-rich/) [John Steinbeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-steinbeck/) [Browse all 3,181 Despair quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/despair/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Don't despair: despair suggests you are in total control and know what is coming. 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