--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Choosing a spouse and a choosing career…" description: "\"Choosing a spouse and a choosing career: the two great decisions for which society refuses to set up institutional guidance.\" — Alain de Botton" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e58/alain-de-botton-221_career_choosing-a-spouse-and-a-choosing-career_96438.jpg" --- # Choosing a spouse and a choosing career: the two great… ![“Choosing a spouse and a choosing career: the two great decisions for which society refuses to set up institutional guidance.” quote by Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e58/alain-de-botton-221_career_choosing-a-spouse-and-a-choosing-career_96438.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e58/alain-de-botton-221_career_choosing-a-spouse-and-a-choosing-career_96438.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e58/alain-de-botton-221_career_choosing-a-spouse-and-a-choosing-career_96438.jpg) > “Choosing a spouse and a choosing career: the two great decisions for which society refuses to set up institutional guidance.” [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Choosing a partner and a career are pivotal life choices that lack formal societal scaffolding, leaving individuals to navigate them largely on their own. **In simple terms:** Two major life decisions lack institutional guidance. Key Takeaway Personal responsibility in major life choices. Themes personal development societal structures decision making relationships career Mood reflective serious Type philosophical advice When to use this quote - college graduation - career transition - marriage planning - mid‑life reassessment Key Concepts autonomy risk long‑term impact Practical Applications - career counseling - relationship workshops Questions to Reflect On - How can societies better support these decisions? - What personal tools help mitigate uncertainty? ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Career](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/career/) [Careers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/careers/) [Choosing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choosing/) [Choosing Career](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choosing-career-1182405/) [Choosing Spouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choosing-spouse-1182402/) [Decision](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/decision/) [Decision making](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/decision-making/) [Decisions Society](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/decisions-society-1182404/) [Guidance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/guidance/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Refuse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/refuse/) [Spouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/spouse/) [Spouse Choosing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/spouse-choosing-1182403/) [Two](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/two/) ## Related quotes > [Choosing my career was always based on job satisfaction rather than financial security. I wanted to get a job in science; I enjoyed being…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-roberts/choosing-my-career-was-always-based-on-job-satisfaction-rather-than/) [Alice Roberts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-roberts/) > [The best advice that anyone can give you for choosing a specific career is never to accept someone else's advice. Indeed, one of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernie-j-zelinski/the-best-advice-that-anyone-can-give-you-for-choosing-a-specific/) [Ernie J Zelinski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernie-j-zelinski/) > [Whether it's choosing a career or deciding what charity to get involved with, the choice should come from your heart. Ultimately you are the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-thomas/whether-it-s-choosing-a-career-or-deciding-what-charity-to-get/) [Dave Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-thomas/) > [“It's one thing to guess or use trial and error with respect to trivial matters or decisions that can easily be reversed, but you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brooks-jackson/it-s-one-thing-to-guess-or-use-trial-and-error-with-respect-to/) [Brooks Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brooks-jackson/) > [“I realized much later in life that the reason this decision between MIT and IBM was so agonizing was because it wasn't really about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-massimino/i-realized-much-later-in-life-that-the-reason-this-decision-between/) [Mike Massimino](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-massimino/) > [The type of person you marry plays a big role in the type of children you have, so do your unborn children a favour…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mufti-ismail-menk/the-type-of-person-you-marry-plays-a-big-role-in-the-type-of-children/) [Mufti Ismail Menk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mufti-ismail-menk/) > [“A spouse who gets angry at having been betrayed is evading a basic, tragic truth: that no one can be everything to another person.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/a-spouse-who-gets-angry-at-having-been-betrayed-is-evading-a-basic/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“So much must be established at birth . . . in the random choosing of a name.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-barich/so-much-must-be-established-at-birth-in-the-random-choosing-of-a-name/) [Bill Barich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-barich/) > [Choosing what you want to do, and when to do it, is an act of creation.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-mcwilliams/choosing-what-you-want-to-do-and-when-to-do-it-is-an-act-of-creation/) [Peter McWilliams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-mcwilliams/) > [I can always choose, but I ought to know that if I do not choose, I am still choosing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-paul-sartre/i-can-always-choose-but-i-ought-to-know-that-if-i-do-not-choose-i-am/) [Jean-Paul Sartre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-paul-sartre/) > [Anyone who will look at my life from the outside won't see the struggles inside. Sometimes, things are not always as we see or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chanda-kaushik/anyone-who-will-look-at-my-life-from-the-outside-won-t-see-the/) [Chanda Kaushik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chanda-kaushik/) > [I'm very smart when it comes to choosing dancers and trying to show the world that there's a whole lot of dancing going on.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-jamison/i-m-very-smart-when-it-comes-to-choosing-dancers-and-trying-to-show/) [Judith Jamison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-jamison/) > [Choosing how you live should be up to you not the people that would criticise your well being](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/courtney-hayward/choosing-how-you-live-should-be-up-to-you-not-the-people-that-would/) [Courtney Hayward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/courtney-hayward/) > [Choosing a job or business is the same thing. I'm not the best one to advise someone how to make billions of dollars; I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-roy/choosing-a-job-or-business-is-the-same-thing-i-m-not-the-best-one-to/) [Rachel Roy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-roy/) > [Our world is drowning in a sea of self-centeredness. You can make yourself quite unique right away by leaving this ocean of selfishness and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bytheway/our-world-is-drowning-in-a-sea-of-self-centeredness-you-can-make/) [John Bytheway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bytheway/) ## More by Alain de Botton > [“To be mature is, we're told, to move beyond possessiveness. Jealousy is for babies. The mature person knows that no one owns anyone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/to-be-mature-is-we-re-told-to-move-beyond-possessiveness-jealousy-is/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“He feared that by leaving her he would ruin her life - so he stayed, and did just that.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/he-feared-that-by-leaving-her-he-would-ruin-her-life-so-he-stayed-and/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [You have to be quite heavily invested in someone to do them the honour of telling them you're annoyed with them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/you-have-to-be-quite-heavily-invested-in-someone-to-do-them-the/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“The Anxiety of Sunday afternoon: your unlived lives and infinite possibility pressing upon the constraints of reality.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/the-anxiety-of-sunday-afternoon-your-unlived-lives-and-infinite/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [Those who divorce aren't necessarily the most unhappy, just those neatly able to believe their misery is caused by one other person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/those-who-divorce-aren-t-necessarily-the-most-unhappy-just-those/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“We could not be fulfilled if we weren't inauthentic some of the time—inauthentic, that is, in relation to such things as our passing desires…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/we-could-not-be-fulfilled-if-we-weren-t-inauthentic-some-of-the-time/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“Insofar as we appreciate order, it is when we perceive it as being accompanied by complexity, when we feel that a variety of elements…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/insofar-as-we-appreciate-order-it-is-when-we-perceive-it-as-being/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [I like the values associated with a medical family - common sense, being practical but also thoughtful.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/i-like-the-values-associated-with-a-medical-family-common-sense-being/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“Anyone who urgently needs us deserves, in the true book of love, to be our friend.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/anyone-who-urgently-needs-us-deserves-in-the-true-book-of-love-to-be/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“We can then recognize that we invented religions to serve two central needs which continue to this day and which secular society has not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/we-can-then-recognize-that-we-invented-religions-to-serve-two-central/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“Half the ingratitude and complacency in the world down to how slowly and imperceptibly most good and bad things unfold.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/half-the-ingratitude-and-complacency-in-the-world-down-to-how-slowly/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [It is perhaps when our lives are at their most problematic that we are likely to be most receptive to beautiful things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/it-is-perhaps-when-our-lives-are-at-their-most-problematic-that-we/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“Does what is praised becomes better? Does an emerald become worse if it isn't praised? 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You are the one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-james/don-t-allow-anyone-to-pressure-you-into-taking-a-job-in-a-field-that/) [Alison James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-james/) > [In every province, the chief occupations, in order of importance, are lovemaking, malicious gossip, and talking nonsense.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/in-every-province-the-chief-occupations-in-order-of-importance-are/) [Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/) > [I think I've had the longest career of strength, focus, and still being able to sell records. I think I'm that guy. I'm still…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nas/i-think-i-ve-had-the-longest-career-of-strength-focus-and-still-being/) [Nas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nas/) > [One needs more than ambition and talent to make a success of anything, really. 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