--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: And what excuse was there for this?…" description: "\"“And what excuse was there for this? Nothing but the old line that parents and politicians will use before taking out their scalpels: I care about you,..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e99/alain-de-botton-221_dreams_and-what-excuse-was-there-for-this-nothi_2060556.jpg" --- # And what excuse was there for this? Nothing but the old… ![“And what excuse was there for this? Nothing but the old line that parents and politicians will use before taking out their scalpels: I care about you, therefore I will upset you, I have honoured you with a vision of how you should be, therefore I will hurt you.” quote by Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e99/alain-de-botton-221_dreams_and-what-excuse-was-there-for-this-nothi_2060556.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e99/alain-de-botton-221_dreams_and-what-excuse-was-there-for-this-nothi_2060556.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e99/alain-de-botton-221_dreams_and-what-excuse-was-there-for-this-nothi_2060556.jpg) > ““And what excuse was there for this? Nothing but the old line that parents and politicians will use before taking out their scalpels: I care about you, therefore I will upset you, I have honoured you with a vision of how you should be, therefore I will hurt you.”” [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. People often justify harm by claiming it comes from caring, using authority to impose their vision. **In simple terms:** Authority can mask harm under the guise of care. Key Takeaway Question motives behind so-called care. Themes authority care manipulation family politics Mood critical reflective Type philosophical ethical When to use this quote - parental guidance - political policy - personal relationships Key Concepts psychology power dynamics ethical reasoning Questions to Reflect On - How do you differentiate genuine concern from control? - What signs indicate a caring claim is actually harmful? A Different Perspective Beware of paternalistic rationalizations that excuse hurt. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Dreams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dreams/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Politics](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/politics/) ## Related quotes > [Never use the passing years as an excuse for old age.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-breault/never-use-the-passing-years-as-an-excuse-for-old-age/) [Robert Breault](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-breault/) > [Fathers need to be made aware of their responsibilities - and that's up to all of us to communicate, as parents, as politicians and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-lammy/fathers-need-to-be-made-aware-of-their-responsibilities-and-that-s-up/) [David Lammy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-lammy/) > [I married a politician. 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I'm always upset about not doing things as good as I think I could have because I care.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shawn-mendes/i-m-tortured-because-i-care-i-m-always-upset-about-not-doing-things/) [Shawn Mendes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shawn-mendes/) > [The vision of the left, full of envy and resentment, takes its worst toll on those at the bottom - whether black or white…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-sowell/the-vision-of-the-left-full-of-envy-and-resentment-takes-its-worst/) [Thomas Sowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-sowell/) > [Perfect little dream, The kind that hurts the most.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/trent-reznor/perfect-little-dream-the-kind-that-hurts-the-most/) [Trent Reznor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/trent-reznor/) > [Dont leave without a reason, and then try to come back with an excuse.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/dont-leave-without-a-reason-and-then-try-to-come-back-with-an-excuse/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [And the commitment that I've been giving to the Australian people is that there'll be no surprises and no excuses under a Coalition government.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-abbott/and-the-commitment-that-i-ve-been-giving-to-the-australian-people-is/) [Tony Abbott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-abbott/) > [Win without boasting. Lose without excuse.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/albert-payson-terhune/win-without-boasting-lose-without-excuse/) [Albert Payson Terhune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/albert-payson-terhune/) > [International friendly games are not worth the lives of the silk worms who perish to make the pennants. They do not even have the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/danny-baker/international-friendly-games-are-not-worth-the-lives-of-the-silk/) [Danny Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/danny-baker/) > [The number of poor, and poorly prepared, students who succeed in college and beyond undercuts the simplistic notion that economic or educational disadvantage is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roland-merullo/the-number-of-poor-and-poorly-prepared-students-who-succeed-in/) [Roland Merullo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roland-merullo/) > [My non-career. My excuse for a career? Honestly, I never think about the word 'career.' I've had managers, the minute they say it to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-verlaine/my-non-career-my-excuse-for-a-career-honestly-i-never-think-about-the/) [Tom Verlaine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-verlaine/) > [It's very easy to fool yourself that you're working, you know, when you're really not working very hard. I mean, I'm very lazy. So…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-caro/it-s-very-easy-to-fool-yourself-that-you-re-working-you-know-when-you/) [Robert Caro](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-caro/) > [The greatest act of courage is to be and to ownall of who you are—without apology, without excuses, without masks to cover the truth…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debbie-ford/the-greatest-act-of-courage-is-to-be-and-to-ownall-of-who-you-are/) [Debbie Ford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debbie-ford/) ## More by Alain de Botton > [“To be mature is, we're told, to move beyond possessiveness. Jealousy is for babies. The mature person knows that no one owns anyone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/to-be-mature-is-we-re-told-to-move-beyond-possessiveness-jealousy-is/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“He feared that by leaving her he would ruin her life - so he stayed, and did just that.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/he-feared-that-by-leaving-her-he-would-ruin-her-life-so-he-stayed-and/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [You have to be quite heavily invested in someone to do them the honour of telling them you're annoyed with them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/you-have-to-be-quite-heavily-invested-in-someone-to-do-them-the/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“The Anxiety of Sunday afternoon: your unlived lives and infinite possibility pressing upon the constraints of reality.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/the-anxiety-of-sunday-afternoon-your-unlived-lives-and-infinite/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [Those who divorce aren't necessarily the most unhappy, just those neatly able to believe their misery is caused by one other person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/those-who-divorce-aren-t-necessarily-the-most-unhappy-just-those/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“We could not be fulfilled if we weren't inauthentic some of the time—inauthentic, that is, in relation to such things as our passing desires…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/we-could-not-be-fulfilled-if-we-weren-t-inauthentic-some-of-the-time/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“Insofar as we appreciate order, it is when we perceive it as being accompanied by complexity, when we feel that a variety of elements…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/insofar-as-we-appreciate-order-it-is-when-we-perceive-it-as-being/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [I like the values associated with a medical family - common sense, being practical but also thoughtful.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/i-like-the-values-associated-with-a-medical-family-common-sense-being/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“Anyone who urgently needs us deserves, in the true book of love, to be our friend.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/anyone-who-urgently-needs-us-deserves-in-the-true-book-of-love-to-be/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“We can then recognize that we invented religions to serve two central needs which continue to this day and which secular society has not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/we-can-then-recognize-that-we-invented-religions-to-serve-two-central/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“Half the ingratitude and complacency in the world down to how slowly and imperceptibly most good and bad things unfold.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/half-the-ingratitude-and-complacency-in-the-world-down-to-how-slowly/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [It is perhaps when our lives are at their most problematic that we are likely to be most receptive to beautiful things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/it-is-perhaps-when-our-lives-are-at-their-most-problematic-that-we/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“Does what is praised becomes better? Does an emerald become worse if it isn't praised? And what a gold, ivory, a flower or a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/does-what-is-praised-becomes-better-does-an-emerald-become-worse-if/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [The bourgeois thinkers of the eighteenth century thus turned Aristotle's formula on its head: satisfactions which the Greek philosopher had identified with leisure were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/the-bourgeois-thinkers-of-the-eighteenth-century-thus-turned/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [Reputation matters so much only because people so seldom think for themselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/reputation-matters-so-much-only-because-people-so-seldom-think-for/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) [Explore all 850 Alain de Botton quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) ## More Dreams quotes > [“Cine a ucis stelele? Cine a surpat drumul spre viitor al celor din morminte?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ionel-teodoreanu/cine-a-ucis-stelele-cine-a-surpat-drumul-spre-viitor-al-celor-din/) [Ionel Teodoreanu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ionel-teodoreanu/) > [“Once we become sensitive to dreams, we discover that every dynamic in a dream is manifesting itself in some way in our practical lives”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-a-johnson/once-we-become-sensitive-to-dreams-we-discover-that-every-dynamic-in/) [Robert A. Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-a-johnson/) > [“Now you’re wet. You’re so wet you’re leaking down your ass. You’re soaking my pillow. I don’t think I’m ever washing it. I want…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-stoker/now-you-re-wet-you-re-so-wet-you-re-leaking-down-your-ass-you-re/) [Susan Stoker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-stoker/) > [“Not that it matters, when you dream, there's no outside or in. Your mind is an unimaginable bloom. A willow catkin as big as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rich-shapero/not-that-it-matters-when-you-dream-there-s-no-outside-or-in-your-mind/) [Rich Shapero](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rich-shapero/) > [Sometimes we wish for the feel but we never understand that we have to give a lot to get the feel !](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-reynolds/sometimes-we-wish-for-the-feel-but-we-never-understand-that-we-have/) [Robert Reynolds](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-reynolds/) > [The vision of the left, full of envy and resentment, takes its worst toll on those at the bottom - whether black or white…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-sowell/the-vision-of-the-left-full-of-envy-and-resentment-takes-its-worst/) [Thomas Sowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-sowell/) > [It’s so important to create in your own voice, to hold onto what makes you unique, and have faith in your vision.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-lasseter/it-s-so-important-to-create-in-your-own-voice-to-hold-onto-what-makes/) [John Lasseter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-lasseter/) > [“As dreams are the healing songs from the wilderness of our unconscious - So wild animals, wild plants, wild landscapes are the healing dreams…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dale-pendell/as-dreams-are-the-healing-songs-from-the-wilderness-of-our/) [Dale Pendell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dale-pendell/) > [Alone in a world, With millions of souls Walking in circles Trapped in their dreams unhealthy, unclean walking in circles, now do not disturb…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chester-bennington/alone-in-a-world-with-millions-of-souls-walking-in-circles-trapped-in/) [Chester Bennington](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chester-bennington/) > [“Doing the work to transform your dreams into reality is like walking across the earth. It can be that hard, and it can take…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dragos-bratasanu/doing-the-work-to-transform-your-dreams-into-reality-is-like-walking/) [Dragos Bratasanu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dragos-bratasanu/) > [As far as Im concerned, I didnt dream - ever.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/theodore-sturgeon/as-far-as-im-concerned-i-didnt-dream-ever/) [Theodore Sturgeon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/theodore-sturgeon/) > [I guess, it's a father's dream for his daughter to be known around the world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/liza-soberano/i-guess-it-s-a-father-s-dream-for-his-daughter-to-be-known-around-the/) [Liza Soberano](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/liza-soberano/) > [I am just enjoying the dream of being Milan coach at the age of 40.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gennaro-gattuso/i-am-just-enjoying-the-dream-of-being-milan-coach-at-the-age-of-40/) [Gennaro Gattuso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gennaro-gattuso/) > [Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/sometimes-life-seems-like-a-dream-especially-when-i-look-down-and-see/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [“I had a dream. I had an awesome dream.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-had-a-dream-i-had-an-awesome-dream/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) [Browse all 40,599 Dreams quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dreams/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“And what excuse was there for this? 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