--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: A spouse who gets angry at having been…" description: "\"“A spouse who gets angry at having been betrayed is evading a basic, tragic truth: that no one can be everything to another person.”\" — Alain de Botton" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/604/alain-de-botton-221_marriage_a-spouse-who-gets-angry-at-having-been-b_1082865.jpg" --- # A spouse who gets angry at having been betrayed is evading… ![“A spouse who gets angry at having been betrayed is evading a basic, tragic truth: that no one can be everything to another person.” quote by Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/604/alain-de-botton-221_marriage_a-spouse-who-gets-angry-at-having-been-b_1082865.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/604/alain-de-botton-221_marriage_a-spouse-who-gets-angry-at-having-been-b_1082865.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/604/alain-de-botton-221_marriage_a-spouse-who-gets-angry-at-having-been-b_1082865.jpg) > ““A spouse who gets angry at having been betrayed is evading a basic, tragic truth: that no one can be everything to another person.”” [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. People often expect partners to fulfill all emotional needs, ignoring human limits and the inevitability of disappointment. **In simple terms:** No one can be everything for someone else. Key Takeaway Accept realistic expectations in relationships. Themes relationships expectations human limits Mood reflective somber Type philosophical advice When to use this quote - marriage counseling - friendship - family dynamics Key Concepts psychology attachment theory Questions to Reflect On - How can you communicate limits without hurting feelings? - What does “basic tragic truth” mean to you? A Different Perspective People may still feel hurt despite realistic expectations. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Betrayed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/betrayed/) [Betrayed Evading](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/betrayed-evading-2758356/) [Having Betrayed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/having-betrayed-2758354/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Spouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/spouse/) [Spouse Gets](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/spouse-gets-2758355/) [Truth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/truth/) ## Related quotes > [ Marriage. Isn't it great? 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Berry Brazelton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-berry-brazelton/) > [If you don't simply communicate with your spouse what household tasks you would like them to do, you are setting yourself up to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-v-gordon/if-you-don-t-simply-communicate-with-your-spouse-what-household-tasks/) [Emily V. Gordon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-v-gordon/) > [You will be at your best forever, Even now you have good moments. Occasional glimpses of your heavenly self. When you change your baby's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/max-lucado/you-will-be-at-your-best-forever-even-now-you-have-good-moments/) [Max Lucado](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/max-lucado/) > [“We could not be fulfilled if we weren't inauthentic some of the time—inauthentic, that is, in relation to such things as our passing desires…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/we-could-not-be-fulfilled-if-we-weren-t-inauthentic-some-of-the-time/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [Those who divorce aren't necessarily the most unhappy, just those neatly able to believe their misery is caused by one other person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/those-who-divorce-aren-t-necessarily-the-most-unhappy-just-those/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [If the spouse to respect each other's feelings, which will thenneed to heaven?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mak-786/if-the-spouse-to-respect-each-other-s-feelings-which-will-thenneed-to/) [Mak\_786](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mak-786/) > [“If you have feelings for someone, let them know. It doesn’t matter if they can be in your life or not. Maybe, it is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-l-alder/if-you-have-feelings-for-someone-let-them-know-it-doesn-t-matter-if/) [Shannon L. Alder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-l-alder/) > [A lot of the guilt didn't help my drinking at that point. I never expected a divorce to happen in my life particularly, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dick-van-dyke/a-lot-of-the-guilt-didn-t-help-my-drinking-at-that-point-i-never/) [Dick Van Dyke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dick-van-dyke/) > [The Church alone, being the Bride of Christ and having all things in common with her Divine Spouse, is the depository of the truth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pope-pius-x/the-church-alone-being-the-bride-of-christ-and-having-all-things-in/) [Pope Pius X](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pope-pius-x/) > [I don't want to sell myself short. You hurt your spouse, not so much by the infidelity, but by the negative feelings about yourself…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-zaslow/i-don-t-want-to-sell-myself-short-you-hurt-your-spouse-not-so-much-by/) [Michael Zaslow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-zaslow/) ## More by Alain de Botton > [“To be mature is, we're told, to move beyond possessiveness. Jealousy is for babies. The mature person knows that no one owns anyone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/to-be-mature-is-we-re-told-to-move-beyond-possessiveness-jealousy-is/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“He feared that by leaving her he would ruin her life - so he stayed, and did just that.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/he-feared-that-by-leaving-her-he-would-ruin-her-life-so-he-stayed-and/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [You have to be quite heavily invested in someone to do them the honour of telling them you're annoyed with them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/you-have-to-be-quite-heavily-invested-in-someone-to-do-them-the/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“The Anxiety of Sunday afternoon: your unlived lives and infinite possibility pressing upon the constraints of reality.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/the-anxiety-of-sunday-afternoon-your-unlived-lives-and-infinite/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [Those who divorce aren't necessarily the most unhappy, just those neatly able to believe their misery is caused by one other person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/those-who-divorce-aren-t-necessarily-the-most-unhappy-just-those/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“We could not be fulfilled if we weren't inauthentic some of the time—inauthentic, that is, in relation to such things as our passing desires…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/we-could-not-be-fulfilled-if-we-weren-t-inauthentic-some-of-the-time/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“Insofar as we appreciate order, it is when we perceive it as being accompanied by complexity, when we feel that a variety of elements…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/insofar-as-we-appreciate-order-it-is-when-we-perceive-it-as-being/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [I like the values associated with a medical family - common sense, being practical but also thoughtful.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/i-like-the-values-associated-with-a-medical-family-common-sense-being/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“Anyone who urgently needs us deserves, in the true book of love, to be our friend.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/anyone-who-urgently-needs-us-deserves-in-the-true-book-of-love-to-be/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“We can then recognize that we invented religions to serve two central needs which continue to this day and which secular society has not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/we-can-then-recognize-that-we-invented-religions-to-serve-two-central/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“Half the ingratitude and complacency in the world down to how slowly and imperceptibly most good and bad things unfold.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/half-the-ingratitude-and-complacency-in-the-world-down-to-how-slowly/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [It is perhaps when our lives are at their most problematic that we are likely to be most receptive to beautiful things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/it-is-perhaps-when-our-lives-are-at-their-most-problematic-that-we/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [“Does what is praised becomes better? Does an emerald become worse if it isn't praised? And what a gold, ivory, a flower or a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/does-what-is-praised-becomes-better-does-an-emerald-become-worse-if/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [The bourgeois thinkers of the eighteenth century thus turned Aristotle's formula on its head: satisfactions which the Greek philosopher had identified with leisure were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/the-bourgeois-thinkers-of-the-eighteenth-century-thus-turned/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [Reputation matters so much only because people so seldom think for themselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/reputation-matters-so-much-only-because-people-so-seldom-think-for/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) [Explore all 850 Alain de Botton quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) ## More Betrayed quotes > [Being betrayed by the one you love is the worst feeling in the world...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/being-betrayed-by-the-one-you-love-is-the-worst-feeling-in-the-world/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Nothing brings out the lower traits of human nature like office-seeking. Men of good character and impulses are betrayed by it into all sorts…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rutherford-b-hayes/nothing-brings-out-the-lower-traits-of-human-nature-like-office/) [Rutherford B. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rutherford-b-hayes/) > [We are all too keenly aware that those of you who supported us by purchasing the 3DS in the beginningmay feel betrayed and criticize…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/satoru-iwata/we-are-all-too-keenly-aware-that-those-of-you-who-supported-us-by/) [Satoru Iwata](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/satoru-iwata/) > [In tragic life, God wot, No villain need be! Passions spin the plot: We are betrayed by what is false within.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-meredith/in-tragic-life-god-wot-no-villain-need-be-passions-spin-the-plot-we/) [George Meredith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-meredith/) > [The mantra of the new historicists was "we have betrayed ourselves." Since their emergence, there have been more or less interesting paradigm shifts having…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-fry/the-mantra-of-the-new-historicists-was-we-have-betrayed-ourselves/) [Paul Fry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-fry/) > [It is less painful, it turns out, to feel betrayed than to feel forgotten.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-grosz/it-is-less-painful-it-turns-out-to-feel-betrayed-than-to-feel/) [Stephen Grosz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-grosz/) > [Being betrayed by someone you love just makes you more selective and careful when trying out a new relationship/friendship.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/being-betrayed-by-someone-you-love-just-makes-you-more-selective-and/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Rome has betrayed itself. It knew the truth and chose violence, it knew humaneness and it chose tyranny.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/friedrich-d-rrenmatt/rome-has-betrayed-itself-it-knew-the-truth-and-chose-violence-it-knew/) [Friedrich Durrenmatt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/friedrich-d-rrenmatt/) > [Those who are successfully to lead their fellow-men, should have once possessed the nobler feelings. We have all known individuals whose magnanimity was not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-helps/those-who-are-successfully-to-lead-their-fellow-men-should-have-once/) [Arthur Helps](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-helps/) > [I'm a military man, I did what I did only because my country had to be saved from tribalism and feudalism. If I failed,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mengistu-haile-mariam/i-m-a-military-man-i-did-what-i-did-only-because-my-country-had-to-be/) [Mengistu Haile Mariam](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mengistu-haile-mariam/) > [To be robbed and betrayed by a fiendish underground conspiracy, or by the earthly agents of Satan, is at least a romantic sort of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-taibbi/to-be-robbed-and-betrayed-by-a-fiendish-underground-conspiracy-or-by/) [Matt Taibbi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-taibbi/) > [“Cathy, don't look so defeated. She was only trying to put us down again. Maybe nothing did work out right for her, but that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/v-c-andrews/cathy-don-t-look-so-defeated-she-was-only-trying-to-put-us-down-again/) [V.C. Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/v-c-andrews/) > [When I was young, I had a favorite movie star. One day, I saw one of his movies, and it was bad, and he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-jai-white/when-i-was-young-i-had-a-favorite-movie-star-one-day-i-saw-one-of-his/) [Michael Jai White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-jai-white/) > [I really had faith in you but you betrayed me](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lafee/i-really-had-faith-in-you-but-you-betrayed-me/) [Lafee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lafee/) > [No-one is ever betrayed by true love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jaufre-rudel/no-one-is-ever-betrayed-by-true-love/) [Jaufre Rudel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jaufre-rudel/) [Browse all 708 Betrayed quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/betrayed/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“A spouse who gets angry at having been betrayed is evading a basic, tragic truth: that no one can be everything to another person.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Alain de Botton" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/a-spouse-who-gets-angry-at-having-been-betrayed-is-evading-a-basic/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Betrayed" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/a-spouse-who-gets-angry-at-having-been-betrayed-is-evading-a-basic/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/604/alain-de-botton-221_marriage_a-spouse-who-gets-angry-at-having-been-b_1082865.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/604/alain-de-botton-221_marriage_a-spouse-who-gets-angry-at-having-been-b_1082865.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/604/alain-de-botton-221_marriage_a-spouse-who-gets-angry-at-having-been-b_1082865.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“A spouse who gets angry at having been betrayed is evading a basic, tragic truth: that no one can be…” — Alain de Botton", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Alain de Botton", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“A spouse who gets angry at...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/a-spouse-who-gets-angry-at-having-been-betrayed-is-evading-a-basic/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/a-spouse-who-gets-angry-at-having-been-betrayed-is-evading-a-basic/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```