--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The hardest part is the shift we have to…" description: "\"“The hardest part is the shift we have to make in attitude. We have to stop thinking of the child as a “problem” that needs correction. We have to give..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d1/adele-faber-29210_child_the-hardest-part-is-the-shift-we-have-to_448028.png" --- # The hardest part is the shift we have to make in attitude… ![“The hardest part is the shift we have to make in attitude. We have to stop thinking of the child as a “problem” that needs correction. We have to give up the idea that because we’re adults we always have the right answer. We have to stop worrying that if we’re not “tough enough” the child will…” quote by Adele Faber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d1/adele-faber-29210_child_the-hardest-part-is-the-shift-we-have-to_448028.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d1/adele-faber-29210_child_the-hardest-part-is-the-shift-we-have-to_448028.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d1/adele-faber-29210_child_the-hardest-part-is-the-shift-we-have-to_448028.png) > ““The hardest part is the shift we have to make in attitude. We have to stop thinking of the child as a “problem” that needs correction. We have to give up the idea that because we’re adults we always have the right answer. We have to stop worrying that if we’re not “tough enough” the child will take advantage of us. It requires a great act of faith to believe that if we take the time to sit down and share our real feelings with a young person, and listen to his feelings, together we’ll come up with solutions that will be right for both of us.”” [Adele Faber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adele-faber/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Changing attitudes toward children from seeing them as problems to partners fosters mutual respect and collaborative solutions. **In simple terms:** Treat children as partners, not problems. Key Takeaway Shift mindset to collaborative parenting. Themes parenting communication empathy Mood empathetic hopeful Type parenting inspirational When to use this quote - family meetings - conflict resolution - co-creating rules - building trust Key Concepts active listening power dynamics Questions to Reflect On - How can you practice active listening with kids? - What fears hold you back from sharing vulnerability? A Different Perspective It may be challenging for adults accustomed to authority. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/child/) [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Real feelings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/real-feelings/) [Stop worrying](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stop-worrying/) ## Related quotes > [“The hardest part is the shi ft we have to make in atti tude. We have to stop thinking of the child as a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-hardest-part-is-the-shi-ft-we-have-to-make-in-atti-tude-we-have/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“When a child is immersed in a certain environment, his thinking is formed by roles models of behavior demonstrated by parents in the family…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sunday-adelaja/when-a-child-is-immersed-in-a-certain-environment-his-thinking-is/) [Sunday Adelaja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sunday-adelaja/) > [“She was a thinking child, and worked this out. It hurt her, unlike most knowledge, which was strength and pleasure.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-s-byatt/she-was-a-thinking-child-and-worked-this-out-it-hurt-her-unlike-most/) [A.S. Byatt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-s-byatt/) > [“A thinking child cannot conform. Thought does not bow to authority.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ayn-rand/a-thinking-child-cannot-conform-thought-does-not-bow-to-authority/) [Ayn Rand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ayn-rand/) > [There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/there-s-no-such-thing-as-a-tough-child-if-you-parboil-them-first-for/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [People think it must be wonderful being in movies or on television, but it can be very tough on a child. I had two…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/angela-cartwright/people-think-it-must-be-wonderful-being-in-movies-or-on-television/) [Angela Cartwright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/angela-cartwright/) > [Discipline is a symbol of caring to a child. He needs guidance. If there is love, there is no such thing as being too…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bette-davis/discipline-is-a-symbol-of-caring-to-a-child-he-needs-guidance-if-2/) [Bette Davis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bette-davis/) > [Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wcfields/madam-there-s-no-such-thing-as-a-tough-child-if-you-parboil-them/) WCFields > [Adolescence is a tough one to be a child actor.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jodie-foster/adolescence-is-a-tough-one-to-be-a-child-actor/) [Jodie Foster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jodie-foster/) > [Dont make your voice loud to make others listen you, Make your attitude so loud that others begin to listen to you...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/dont-make-your-voice-loud-to-make-others-listen-you-make-your/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Looks may make first impression but what really make us is our attitude and work .](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/senoraroy/looks-may-make-first-impression-but-what-really-make-us-is-our/) Senoraroy > [First We Make Our Attitude Then, Our Attitude Make Us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pacifiersucker/first-we-make-our-attitude-then-our-attitude-make-us/) Pacifiersucker > [“All the talent in the world can’t make up for attitude,” he said. “But attitude go a long way in making up for talent.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-lister/all-the-talent-in-the-world-can-t-make-up-for-attitude-he-said-but/) [Michael Lister](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-lister/) > [“You cannot tailor-make your situations in life, but you can tailor-make your attitude to fit those situations. ~ Zig Ziglar,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-hunt/you-cannot-tailor-make-your-situations-in-life-but-you-can-tailor/) Mary Hunt > [When anger and sadness are your two main emotions for the past few weeks...You know it's about time to make an attitude adjustment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/when-anger-and-sadness-are-your-two-main-emotions-for-the-past-few/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) ## More by Adele Faber > [Deep inside you know / when trouble comes / and there's no one else to turn to / you can call on each other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adele-faber/deep-inside-you-know-when-trouble-comes-and-there-s-no-one-else-to/) [Adele Faber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adele-faber/) > [“Before our next session I prepared an exercise for the group. I took the original situation and restated it from what I thought might…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adele-faber/before-our-next-session-i-prepared-an-exercise-for-the-group-i-took/) [Adele Faber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adele-faber/) > [Take two kids in competition for their parents' love and attention. Add to that the envy that one child feels for the accomplishments of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adele-faber/take-two-kids-in-competition-for-their-parents-love-and-attention-add/) [Adele Faber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adele-faber/) > [“when our words are infused with our real feelings of empathy that they speak directly to a child’s heart.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adele-faber/when-our-words-are-infused-with-our-real-feelings-of-empathy-that/) [Adele Faber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adele-faber/) > [“Instead of Punishment 1. EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS STRONGLY—WITHOUT ATTACKING CHARACTER. “I’m furious that my new saw was left outside to rust in the rain!”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adele-faber/instead-of-punishment-1-express-your-feelings-strongly-without/) [Adele Faber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adele-faber/) > [The mere existence of an additional child or children in the family could signify Less. Less time alone with parents. Less attention for hurts…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adele-faber/the-mere-existence-of-an-additional-child-or-children-in-the-family/) [Adele Faber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adele-faber/) > [No one cares / who is better / who is worse / who has more / who has less. / Content in our connectedness…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adele-faber/no-one-cares-who-is-better-who-is-worse-who-has-more-who-has-less/) [Adele Faber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adele-faber/) > [Let us be different in our homes. 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I was an expert on why everyone else was having problems with theirs. Then I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adele-faber/i-was-a-wonderful-parent-before-i-had-children-i-was-an-expert-on-why/) [Adele Faber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adele-faber/) [Explore all 16 Adele Faber quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adele-faber/) ## More Child quotes > [The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/the-thing-about-hitting-kids-is-think-about-if-you-were-doing-the/) [Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/) > [“Children's lives are always beginning and adults' lives are always ending. Or is it the opposite? Your childhood is always ending and your adult…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-espach/children-s-lives-are-always-beginning-and-adults-lives-are-always/) [Alison Espach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-espach/) > [“As parents who make every effort we can to raise our children in loving security, we do not need to feel more guilt than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/as-parents-who-make-every-effort-we-can-to-raise-our-children-in/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [I want to make my music and be a happy woman, a good wife, a good mom and one day hopefully have a child…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leann-rimes/i-want-to-make-my-music-and-be-a-happy-woman-a-good-wife-a-good-mom/) [LeAnn Rimes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leann-rimes/) > [I would have done well as a gypsy child, I think. A circus baby. I coulda played a great street urchin or ragamuffin. Or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/natasha-lyonne/i-would-have-done-well-as-a-gypsy-child-i-think-a-circus-baby-i/) [Natasha Lyonne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/natasha-lyonne/) > [We're raising children who have little tolerance for disappointment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/we-re-raising-children-who-have-little-tolerance-for-disappointment/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [I'm a weirdo and an only child. That comes together to create one-woman shows.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amanda-seales/i-m-a-weirdo-and-an-only-child-that-comes-together-to-create-one/) [Amanda Seales](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amanda-seales/) > [“Every child is born as angel.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lailah-gifty-akita/every-child-is-born-as-angel/) [Lailah Gifty Akita](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lailah-gifty-akita/) > [To assist a child we must provide him with an environment which will enable him to develop freely.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maria-montessori/to-assist-a-child-we-must-provide-him-with-an-environment-which-will/) [Maria Montessori](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maria-montessori/) > [Almost everywhere we find . . . the use of various coercive measures, to rid ourselves as quickly as possible of the child withinus--i.e.,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/almost-everywhere-we-find-the-use-of-various-coercive-measures-to-rid/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [Since I was a little child, my nose - I think it's too big.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/celine-dion/since-i-was-a-little-child-my-nose-i-think-it-s-too-big/) [Celine Dion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/celine-dion/) > [if we center our lives on BMWs, RVs, VCRs, PCs and the other acronyms of consumerism, we cannot expect our children to do otherwise.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnnetta-b-cole/if-we-center-our-lives-on-bmws-rvs-vcrs-pcs-and-the-other-acronyms-of/) [Johnnetta B. Cole](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnnetta-b-cole/) > [Bring up your children in the way you think other peoples children should go.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikrant-parsai/bring-up-your-children-in-the-way-you-think-other-peoples-children/) [Vikrant Parsai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikrant-parsai/) > [Parents who are stressed or disturbed will have more difficulty in meeting their children's needs. 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