---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Absence is absence, you know? The loss of…"
description: "\"Absence is absence, you know? The loss of someone can be just as devastating if they're alive as if they're dead.\" — Adam Silvera"
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c50/adam-silvera-2264_absence_absence-is-absence-you-know-the-loss-of_527375.jpg"
---

#  Absence is absence, you know? The loss of someone can be…

![“Absence is absence, you know? The loss of someone can be just as devastating if they're alive as if they're dead.” quote by Adam Silvera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c50/adam-silvera-2264_absence_absence-is-absence-you-know-the-loss-of_527375.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c50/adam-silvera-2264_absence_absence-is-absence-you-know-the-loss-of_527375.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c50/adam-silvera-2264_absence_absence-is-absence-you-know-the-loss-of_527375.jpg)

> “Absence is absence, you know? The loss of someone can be just as devastating if they're alive as if they're dead.”

[Adam Silvera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-silvera/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Grief can be equally painful whether a loved one is physically present or gone, because emotional loss transcends physical absence.

**In simple terms:** Loss hurts even if the person lives.

Key Takeaway

Acknowledge grief regardless of presence.

Themes

grief loss emotional pain

Mood

sad reflective

Type

emotional philosophical

When to use this quote

- family illness
- friend moving away
- breakup
- death of a pet

Key Concepts

attachment theory existentialism

Questions to Reflect On

- How do you process grief when the person is still alive?
- What supports help you cope with ongoing loss?

A Different Perspective

Grief may also involve relief or closure, which can complicate the experience.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Absence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/absence/) [Alive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alive/) [Loss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loss/)

## Related quotes

> [I guess by now I should know enough about loss to realize that you never really stop missing someone-you just learn to live around…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alyson-noel/i-guess-by-now-i-should-know-enough-about-loss-to-realize-that-you/)

[Alyson Noel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alyson-noel/)

> [Sometimes hurt is needed to make us grow. Failure is needed to make us know. Loss is needed to make us gain.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/sometimes-hurt-is-needed-to-make-us-grow-failure-is-needed-to-make-us/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [We never understand how little we need in this world until we know the loss of it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-m-barrie/we-never-understand-how-little-we-need-in-this-world-until-we-know/)

[James M. Barrie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-m-barrie/)

> [“We find a place for what we lose. Although we know that after such a loss the acute stage of mourning will subside, we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-william-worden/we-find-a-place-for-what-we-lose-although-we-know-that-after-such-a-2/)

J. William Worden

> [I've been an NBA player, and a black man, for a long time, and I know how to take a loss.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kenny-smith/i-ve-been-an-nba-player-and-a-black-man-for-a-long-time-and-i-know/)

[Kenny Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kenny-smith/)

> [“Although we know that after such a loss the acute state of mourning will subside, we also know we shall remain inconsolable and will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-ambler-walter/although-we-know-that-after-such-a-loss-the-acute-state-of-mourning/)

Carolyn Ambler Walter

> [We find a place for what we lose. Although we know that after such a loss the acute stage of mourning will subside, we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sigmund-freud/we-find-a-place-for-what-we-lose-although-we-know-that-after-such-a/)

[Sigmund Freud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sigmund-freud/)

> [Sometimes, HURT is needed to make us grow. FAILURE needed to make us know. Loss is needed to make us gain. Because some lessons…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/sometimes-hurt-is-needed-to-make-us-grow-failure-needed-to-make-us/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“Do you not know that there is nothing the eye can see that can make it shed the tears of blood? Do you not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chigozie-obioma/do-you-not-know-that-there-is-nothing-the-eye-can-see-that-can-make/)

[Chigozie Obioma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chigozie-obioma/)

> [Don't we all look back in longing, those of us who had happy childhoods? Because the greatest loss we ever know is not the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-hart/don-t-we-all-look-back-in-longing-those-of-us-who-had-happy/)

[Carolyn Hart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-hart/)

> [“Losing something or someone you love hurts. I don’t understand, fully, why having to say goodbye wounds us so deeply but I do know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jason-versey/losing-something-or-someone-you-love-hurts-i-don-t-understand-fully/)

[Jason Versey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jason-versey/)

> [I see what grief does, how it strips you bare, shows you all the things you don't want to know. That loss doesn't end,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-scott/i-see-what-grief-does-how-it-strips-you-bare-shows-you-all-the-things/)

[Elizabeth Scott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-scott/)

> [Dead or alive, interesting people are interesting people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noel-riley-fitch/dead-or-alive-interesting-people-are-interesting-people/)

Noel Riley Fitch

> [“You should be alive as you can until you're totally dead.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dylan-moran/you-should-be-alive-as-you-can-until-you-re-totally-dead/)

[Dylan Moran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dylan-moran/)

> [If you’re alive, don’t move, if you’re dead, don’t worry about it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/if-you-re-alive-don-t-move-if-you-re-dead-don-t-worry-about-it/)

[Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/)

## More by Adam Silvera

> [“I’m more happy than not. Don’t forget me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-silvera/i-m-more-happy-than-not-don-t-forget-me/)

[Adam Silvera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-silvera/)

> [“Getting up means leaving,” I say. “Yeah,” Rufus says. “Leaving means dying,” I say. “Nah. Leaving means living before you die. Let’s bounce.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-silvera/getting-up-means-leaving-i-say-yeah-rufus-says-leaving-means-dying-i/)

[Adam Silvera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-silvera/)

> [“I always wanted to stumble into someone like you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-silvera/i-always-wanted-to-stumble-into-someone-like-you/)

[Adam Silvera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-silvera/)

> [Whereas Books of Wonder excels with children's literature, McNally Jackson is where I go for my adult new releases, and no, it has nothing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-silvera/whereas-books-of-wonder-excels-with-children-s-literature-mcnally/)

[Adam Silvera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-silvera/)

> [“I only care about the people who wanna be in my life.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-silvera/i-only-care-about-the-people-who-wanna-be-in-my-life/)

[Adam Silvera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-silvera/)

> [“I call Theo and it goes to voice mail. “Hey, Theo, it’s Griff. I sort of need to talk to you about something big.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-silvera/i-call-theo-and-it-goes-to-voice-mail-hey-theo-it-s-griff-i-sort-of/)

[Adam Silvera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-silvera/)

> [All my books center around death in some way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-silvera/all-my-books-center-around-death-in-some-way/)

[Adam Silvera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-silvera/)

> [“Leaving means living before you die”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-silvera/leaving-means-living-before-you-die/)

[Adam Silvera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-silvera/)

> [“Someone knowing me is supposed to be a beautiful thing and not something that prevents him from being open, right?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-silvera/someone-knowing-me-is-supposed-to-be-a-beautiful-thing-and-not/)

[Adam Silvera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-silvera/)

> [“A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for. —John A. Shedd”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-silvera/a-ship-in-harbor-is-safe-but-that-is-not-what-ships-are-built-for/)

[Adam Silvera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-silvera/)

> [“I kiss the guy who brought me to life on the day we’re going to die.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-silvera/i-kiss-the-guy-who-brought-me-to-life-on-the-day-we-re-going-to-die/)

[Adam Silvera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-silvera/)

> [“Love shouldn’t only count when there’s victory.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-silvera/love-shouldn-t-only-count-when-there-s-victory/)

[Adam Silvera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-silvera/)

> [“I’ve spent a lot of the past year waiting—mostly for you. Here’s hoping Jackson actually shows up. I”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-silvera/i-ve-spent-a-lot-of-the-past-year-waiting-mostly-for-you-here-s/)

[Adam Silvera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-silvera/)

> [“I’m happy for you, but mad jealous, too. And if that isn’t enough to get you out, I need you. I need a friend…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-silvera/i-m-happy-for-you-but-mad-jealous-too-and-if-that-isn-t-enough-to-get/)

[Adam Silvera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-silvera/)

> [“He doesn’t know that I know all of this. You taught him something personal to me. You taught him a routine I had with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-silvera/he-doesn-t-know-that-i-know-all-of-this-you-taught-him-something/)

[Adam Silvera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-silvera/)

[Explore all 174 Adam Silvera quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-silvera/)

## More Absence quotes

> [Distance sometimes endears friendship, and absence sweeteneth it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-howell/distance-sometimes-endears-friendship-and-absence-sweeteneth-it/)

[James Howell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-howell/)

> [The work, the work, the work. This is what the business is all about. This is the fun, the glory, the pleasure. It's the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-dusenberry/the-work-the-work-the-work-this-is-what-the-business-is-all-about/)

[Phil Dusenberry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-dusenberry/)

> [Total depravity means the entire absence of holiness, not the highest intensity of sin. A totally depraved man is not as bad as he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-greenough-thayer-shedd/total-depravity-means-the-entire-absence-of-holiness-not-the-highest/)

[William Greenough Thayer Shedd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-greenough-thayer-shedd/)

> [Local and state governments have outrun the federal government. The EPA has served notice that it will enact a rule requiring CO2 reductions by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/al-gore/local-and-state-governments-have-outrun-the-federal-government-the/)

[Al Gore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/al-gore/)

> [There, in the center of that silence was not eternity but the death of time and a loneliness so profound the word itself had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toni-morrison/there-in-the-center-of-that-silence-was-not-eternity-but-the-death-of/)

[Toni Morrison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toni-morrison/)

> [Of all the bewildering things about a new country, the absence of human landmarks is one of the most depressing and disheartening.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/willa-cather/of-all-the-bewildering-things-about-a-new-country-the-absence-of/)

[Willa Cather](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/willa-cather/)

> [Young men have strong passions and tend to gratify them indiscriminately. Of the bodily desires, it is the sexual by which they are most…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aristotle/young-men-have-strong-passions-and-tend-to-gratify-them/)

[Aristotle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aristotle/)

> [It is suggested that in domestic violence at least the presence or absence of a firearm, or of any other type of weapon, is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/colin-greenwood/it-is-suggested-that-in-domestic-violence-at-least-the-presence-or/)

[Colin Greenwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/colin-greenwood/)

> [The absence of God in most spheres of life is perceived to be normal, and even Christians feel it as normal - which is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-piper/the-absence-of-god-in-most-spheres-of-life-is-perceived-to-be-normal/)

[John Piper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-piper/)

> [Every person needs to take one day away. A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future. Jobs, family, employers, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-angelou/every-person-needs-to-take-one-day-away-a-day-in-which-one/)

[Maya Angelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-angelou/)

> [“I was thinking how most people don't make you feel much of anything at all. Don't make you feel like time spent with them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-lotter/i-was-thinking-how-most-people-don-t-make-you-feel-much-of-anything/)

[Jane Lotter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-lotter/)

> [Cooperation isn't the absence of conflict but a means of managing conflict.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/cooperation-isn-t-the-absence-of-conflict-but-a-means-of-managing/)

[Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/)

> [Many are observing Ferguson and witnessing the anger, demonstrations, looting and vandalism and calling for quiet. But quiet isn't enough. The absence of noise…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-jackson/many-are-observing-ferguson-and-witnessing-the-anger-demonstrations/)

[Jesse Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jesse-jackson/)

> [Will capitalist economies operate at full employment in the absence of routine intervention? Certainly not. Are deviations from full employment a social problem? Obviously.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-yellen/will-capitalist-economies-operate-at-full-employment-in-the-absence/)

[Janet Yellen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-yellen/)

> [We must begin by acknowledging that there is a complete absence of two things in Indian Society. One of these is equality. On the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/b-r-ambedkar/we-must-begin-by-acknowledging-that-there-is-a-complete-absence-of/)

[B. R. Ambedkar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/b-r-ambedkar/)

[Browse all 2,057 Absence quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/absence/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "Absence is absence, you know? The loss of someone can be just as devastating if they're alive as if they're dead.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Adam Silvera"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-silvera/absence-is-absence-you-know-the-loss-of-someone-can-be-just-as/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Absence"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-silvera/absence-is-absence-you-know-the-loss-of-someone-can-be-just-as/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c50/adam-silvera-2264_absence_absence-is-absence-you-know-the-loss-of_527375.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c50/adam-silvera-2264_absence_absence-is-absence-you-know-the-loss-of_527375.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c50/adam-silvera-2264_absence_absence-is-absence-you-know-the-loss-of_527375.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“Absence is absence, you know? The loss of someone can be just as devastating if they're alive as if they're…” — Adam Silvera",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Adam Silvera",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-silvera/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "Absence is absence, you know? The...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-silvera/absence-is-absence-you-know-the-loss-of-someone-can-be-just-as/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-silvera/absence-is-absence-you-know-the-loss-of-someone-can-be-just-as/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
