--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: There is always a ..belief that by…" description: "\"There is always a ..belief that by destroying the thing that we love we destroy our needs\" — Adam Phillips" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ff/adam-phillips-18270_belief_there-is-always-a-belief-that-by-destroy_1416395.png" --- # There is always a ..belief that by destroying the thing… ![“There is always a ..belief that by destroying the thing that we love we destroy our needs” quote by Adam Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ff/adam-phillips-18270_belief_there-is-always-a-belief-that-by-destroy_1416395.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ff/adam-phillips-18270_belief_there-is-always-a-belief-that-by-destroy_1416395.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ff/adam-phillips-18270_belief_there-is-always-a-belief-that-by-destroy_1416395.png) > “There is always a ..belief that by destroying the thing that we love we destroy our needs” [Adam Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-phillips/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Destroying cherished things may be a way to confront or eliminate underlying emotional needs. **In simple terms:** Breaking love can erase perceived needs. Key Takeaway Explore why we equate loss with need reduction. Themes psychology relationships destruction Mood reflective thoughtful Type psychological philosophical When to use this quote - personal relationships - therapy sessions - creative projects Key Concepts attachment theory self‑sabotage need fulfillment Questions to Reflect On - What needs are we trying to suppress? - Is destruction a healthy coping mechanism? A Different Perspective Loss can cause deeper trauma. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Belief](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/belief/) [Belief Destroying](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/belief-destroying-5004978/) [Destroy Needs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/destroy-needs-5004977/) [Destroying](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/destroying/) [Destroying Thing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/destroying-thing-4808638/) [Faith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/faith/) [Love Destroy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-destroy-568170/) [Needs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/needs/) ## Related quotes > [“Brokenness propels you to turn away from your customary traditions, activities and habits, because as it’s destroying one thing, it’s birthing something else.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-walker-wade/brokenness-propels-you-to-turn-away-from-your-customary-traditions/) [Michelle Walker-Wade](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-walker-wade/) > [The things we love destroy us every time, lad. Remember that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-things-we-love-destroy-us-every-time-lad-remember-that/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Why should you take by force that from us that which you can have by Love? Why should you destroy us, who have provided…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chief-powhatan/why-should-you-take-by-force-that-from-us-that-which-you-can-have-by/) [Chief Powhatan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chief-powhatan/) > [It's the things we love most that destroy us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-sutherland/it-s-the-things-we-love-most-that-destroy-us/) [Donald Sutherland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-sutherland/) > [“To love is to destroy, and to be loved is to be the one destroyed.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cassandra-clare/to-love-is-to-destroy-and-to-be-loved-is-to-be-the-one-destroyed/) [Cassandra Clare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cassandra-clare/) > [“to love is to destroy and that to be loved is the one to be destroyed”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cassandra-clare/to-love-is-to-destroy-and-that-to-be-loved-is-the-one-to-be-destroyed/) [Cassandra Clare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cassandra-clare/) > [To love something is to destroy it forever.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cassandra-clare/to-love-something-is-to-destroy-it-forever/) [Cassandra Clare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cassandra-clare/) > [“To love is to destroy, and that to be loved is to be destroyed.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cassandra-clare/to-love-is-to-destroy-and-that-to-be-loved-is-to-be-destroyed/) [Cassandra Clare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cassandra-clare/) > [“I am your soul and I am beautiful, I am a lover’s sonnet and silver rain, now destroy me…if you love me, destroy me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-curran/i-am-your-soul-and-i-am-beautiful-i-am-a-lover-s-sonnet-and-silver/) [Tim Curran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-curran/) > [to love is to destroy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cassandra-clare/to-love-is-to-destroy/) [Cassandra Clare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cassandra-clare/) > [For it is the nature of people to love, then destroy, then love again that which they value most.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neale-donald-walsch/for-it-is-the-nature-of-people-to-love-then-destroy-then-love-again/) [Neale Donald Walsch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neale-donald-walsch/) > [“He knew in that moment that falling in love with her would destroy him, and so he decided at once that he would do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ash-gray/he-knew-in-that-moment-that-falling-in-love-with-her-would-destroy/) [Ash Gray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ash-gray/) > [“I don't want love to destroy me like it did my family”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-nk-2/i-don-t-want-love-to-destroy-me-like-it-did-my-family/) [P nk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-nk-2/) > [Too much love will destroy your future.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kc/too-much-love-will-destroy-your-future/) [KC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kc/) > [To love is to destroy, to destroy is to love. -Jace Herondale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cassandra-clare/to-love-is-to-destroy-to-destroy-is-to-love-jace-herondale/) [Cassandra Clare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cassandra-clare/) ## More by Adam Phillips > [“Writers as diverse as Wordsworth and Freud, as Blake and Dickens have all hypothesized that the turbulence and intensity we feel as young children…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-phillips/writers-as-diverse-as-wordsworth-and-freud-as-blake-and-dickens-have/) [Adam Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-phillips/) > [Transgression is a quest for solitude](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-phillips/transgression-is-a-quest-for-solitude/) [Adam Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-phillips/) > [The vocabulary of one’s self-criticism is so impoverished and clichéd. We are at our most stupid in our self-hatred.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-phillips/the-vocabulary-of-one-s-self-criticism-is-so-impoverished-and-clich-d/) [Adam Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-phillips/) > [The big secret about Art is that no one wants it to be true.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-phillips/the-big-secret-about-art-is-that-no-one-wants-it-to-be-true/) [Adam Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-phillips/) > [“Indeed psychoanalysis makes sense only as part of the larger cultural conversation in the arts that became known as modernism. Vienna, where Freud lived…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-phillips/indeed-psychoanalysis-makes-sense-only-as-part-of-the-larger-cultural/) [Adam Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-phillips/) > [“If you want to be with somebody who gets you, you prefer collusion to desire, safety to excitement (sometimes good things to prefer but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-phillips/if-you-want-to-be-with-somebody-who-gets-you-you-prefer-collusion-to/) [Adam Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-phillips/) > [“Anger, then, is only for the engaged; for those with projects that matter.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-phillips/anger-then-is-only-for-the-engaged-for-those-with-projects-that-matter/) [Adam Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-phillips/) > [“Finding hate-objects may be every bit as essential as finding love-objects, but if one can tolerate some of one's badness -- meaning recognize it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-phillips/finding-hate-objects-may-be-every-bit-as-essential-as-finding-love/) [Adam Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-phillips/) > [Sanity, as the project of keeping ourselves recognizably human, therefore has to limit the range of human experience. To keep faith with recognition we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-phillips/sanity-as-the-project-of-keeping-ourselves-recognizably-human/) [Adam Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-phillips/) > [“So there is something perhaps more difficult to conceive of, sometimes born of resignation and sometimes not- a life in which not getting it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-phillips/so-there-is-something-perhaps-more-difficult-to-conceive-of-sometimes/) [Adam Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-phillips/) > [ The child..will try to make himself..independent of other people. .. Excesses of appetite are self-cures for feelings of hopelessness. ..The child \[uses\] ‘doubt about… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-phillips/the-child-will-try-to-make-himself-independent-of-other-people/) [Adam Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-phillips/) > [To grow up is to discover what one is unequal to.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-phillips/to-grow-up-is-to-discover-what-one-is-unequal-to/) [Adam Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-phillips/) > [There is nothing more terrorizing than the possibility that nothing is hidden. There is nothing more scandalous than a happy marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-phillips/there-is-nothing-more-terrorizing-than-the-possibility-that-nothing/) [Adam Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-phillips/) > [Everybody is dealing with how much of their own aliveness they can bear and how much they need to anesthetize themselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-phillips/everybody-is-dealing-with-how-much-of-their-own-aliveness-they-can/) [Adam Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-phillips/) > [I am always true to myself, that is the problem. Who else could I be true to?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-phillips/i-am-always-true-to-myself-that-is-the-problem-who-else-could-i-be/) [Adam Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-phillips/) [Explore all 32 Adam Phillips quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-phillips/) ## More Belief quotes > [“Cine a ucis stelele? Cine a surpat drumul spre viitor al celor din morminte?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ionel-teodoreanu/cine-a-ucis-stelele-cine-a-surpat-drumul-spre-viitor-al-celor-din/) [Ionel Teodoreanu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ionel-teodoreanu/) > [“MIND & GRIND Self-belief and hard work can propel you past more talented peers”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kamil-ali/mind-grind-self-belief-and-hard-work-can-propel-you-past-more/) [Kamil Ali](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kamil-ali/) > [Philosopher is a dictator who modifies accepted standards with his thoughts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilkin-santak/philosopher-is-a-dictator-who-modifies-accepted-standards-with-his/) [Ilkin Santak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilkin-santak/) > [There is something about the South that accepts the supernatural. If you don't accept it and you're having a conversation with someone who does,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-englert/there-is-something-about-the-south-that-accepts-the-supernatural-if/) [Alice Englert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-englert/) > [It took me 20 years of hard training to get the physique I have today. what you need is what i had - BELIEF…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/branch-warren/it-took-me-20-years-of-hard-training-to-get-the-physique-i-have-today/) [Branch Warren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/branch-warren/) > [“Here is a fundamental difference between the man of faith and the man of unbelief. The unbeliever is 'of the world', judges everything by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-w-pink/here-is-a-fundamental-difference-between-the-man-of-faith-and-the-man/) [Arthur W. Pink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-w-pink/) > [“She herself vacillated when it came to belief. She did not particularly believe in God. Or, rather, she didn't believe in a particular God.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allegra-goodman/she-herself-vacillated-when-it-came-to-belief-she-did-not/) [Allegra Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allegra-goodman/) > [Let us remember that every worldview-not just Christianity's-must give an explanation or an answer for evil and suffering...this is not just a problem distinctive…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ravi-zacharias/let-us-remember-that-every-worldview-not-just-christianity-s-must/) [Ravi Zacharias](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ravi-zacharias/) > [“Rigid traditions capture souls prisons of spiritual thought man’s religion has captured a god grown too small and very weak.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle/rigid-traditions-capture-souls-prisons-of-spiritual-thought-man-s/) [David W Earle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle/) > [We can find common qualities and common values that have made Britain the country it is. Our belief in tolerance and liberty which shines…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-brown/we-can-find-common-qualities-and-common-values-that-have-made-britain/) [Gordon Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-brown/) > [The inner defenses are unconscious. They consist of a kind of magic aura which the mind builds around cherished belief. Arguments which penetrate into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-koestler/the-inner-defenses-are-unconscious-they-consist-of-a-kind-of-magic/) [Arthur Koestler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-koestler/) > [I have tried to resign myself, and to console myself; and that, I hope, I may have done imperfectly; but what I cannot firmly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-dickens/i-have-tried-to-resign-myself-and-to-console-myself-and-that-i-hope-i/) [Charles Dickens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-dickens/) > [In business, as in politics, it is never easy to go against the beliefs and attitudes held by the majority. The businessman who moves…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-paul-getty/in-business-as-in-politics-it-is-never-easy-to-go-against-the-beliefs/) [J. Paul Getty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-paul-getty/) > [There's no greatest moment in the arts. It's a life; it's a continuity thing. You can't have a great moment because it's spiritual. It's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leroy-neiman/there-s-no-greatest-moment-in-the-arts-it-s-a-life-it-s-a-continuity/) [LeRoy Neiman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leroy-neiman/) > [To preserve an unclouded capacity for the enjoyment of life is an unusual moral and psychological achievement. Contrary to popular belief, it is not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/to-preserve-an-unclouded-capacity-for-the-enjoyment-of-life-is-an/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) [Browse all 10,268 Belief quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/belief/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "There is always a ..belief that by destroying the thing that we love we destroy our needs", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Adam Phillips" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-phillips/there-is-always-a-belief-that-by-destroying-the-thing-that-we-love-we/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Belief" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-phillips/there-is-always-a-belief-that-by-destroying-the-thing-that-we-love-we/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ff/adam-phillips-18270_belief_there-is-always-a-belief-that-by-destroy_1416395.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ff/adam-phillips-18270_belief_there-is-always-a-belief-that-by-destroy_1416395.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ff/adam-phillips-18270_belief_there-is-always-a-belief-that-by-destroy_1416395.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“There is always a ..belief that by destroying the thing that we love we destroy our needs” — Adam Phillips", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Adam Phillips", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-phillips/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "There is always a ..belief that...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-phillips/there-is-always-a-belief-that-by-destroying-the-thing-that-we-love-we/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-phillips/there-is-always-a-belief-that-by-destroying-the-thing-that-we-love-we/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```