--- title: "10 You Quotes By John Oliver" description: "10 You quotes by John Oliver. Plus more from John Oliver and more You sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/02c/john-oliver-2975_before_you-have-to-do-stand-up-quite-a-long-tim_3041812.png" --- > [You have to do stand-up quite a long time before you learn how to do it well.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/you-have-to-do-stand-up-quite-a-long-time-before-you-learn-how-to-do-2/) [John Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oliver/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/02c/john-oliver-2975_before_you-have-to-do-stand-up-quite-a-long-tim_3041812.png) > [Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/congress-never-loses-its-capacity-to-disappoint-you/) [John Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oliver/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7cc/john-oliver-2975_capacity_congress-never-loses-its-capacity-to-dis_1293736.png) > [I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/i-have-exactly-as-much-rhythm-as-you-think-i-have/) [John Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oliver/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/597/john-oliver-2975_exactly_i-have-exactly-as-much-rhythm-as-you-thi_1992166.png) > [Most stand-ups, once they have done it, think of it as their default job. I'm pretty sure Jon Stewart still feels that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/most-stand-ups-once-they-have-done-it-think-of-it-as-their-default/) [John Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oliver/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e1/john-oliver-2975_come_most-stand-ups-once-they-have-done-it-th_2536479.png) > [If you work on a comedy show, your basic form of communication is teasing. That's generally how we speak to each other:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/if-you-work-on-a-comedy-show-your-basic-form-of-communication-is/) [John Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oliver/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/af6/john-oliver-2975_basic_if-you-work-on-a-comedy-show-your-basic_180045.png) > [I have occasionally - if ever I do interviews that are difficult or nerve-wracking - I take my wife's dog tags and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/i-have-occasionally-if-ever-i-do-interviews-that-are-difficult-or/) [John Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oliver/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac4/john-oliver-2975_about_i-have-occasionally-if-ever-i-do-intervi_2633716.png) > [As any Brit will understand, things get a little easier when you don't have to be number one any more. Really, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/as-any-brit-will-understand-things-get-a-little-easier-when-you-don-t/) [John Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oliver/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4e7/john-oliver-2975_any_as-any-brit-will-understand-things-get-a_1265168.png) > [In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/in-improv-the-whole-thing-is-that-it-is-a-relationship-between-the-2/) [John Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oliver/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d16/john-oliver-2975_back_in-improv-the-whole-thing-is-that-it-is_1226847.png) > [People really have come for a dialogue when they go to a stand-up show in the U.K. They say, 'I understand that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/people-really-have-come-for-a-dialogue-when-they-go-to-a-stand-up/) [John Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oliver/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d51/john-oliver-2975_come_people-really-have-come-for-a-dialogue-w_915560.jpg) > [You have to do stand-up quite a long time before you learn how to do it well. It was probably years before…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/you-have-to-do-stand-up-quite-a-long-time-before-you-learn-how-to-do/) [John Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oliver/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d2/john-oliver-2975_able_you-have-to-do-stand-up-quite-a-long-tim_613810.jpg) ## Other authors on You ## More by John Oliver > [I've always been interested in socially political, or overtly political, comedy. And I guess I've always liked to channel some kind of personal element…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/i-ve-always-been-interested-in-socially-political-or-overtly/) [John Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oliver/) > [I knew I was going to go into the field and make fun of people to their faces. I knew what I was getting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/i-knew-i-was-going-to-go-into-the-field-and-make-fun-of-people-to/) [John Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oliver/) > [Once you learn how to make people laugh, then you get to choose exactly how you want to make them laugh.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/once-you-learn-how-to-make-people-laugh-then-you-get-to-choose/) [John Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oliver/) > [When you see people say crazy things on our show, they mean this stuff,and that's easy to forget: They're not joking.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/when-you-see-people-say-crazy-things-on-our-show-they-mean-this-stuff/) [John Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oliver/) > [I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/i-think-americans-still-can-t-help-but-respond-to-the-natural/) [John Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oliver/) > [I think I'm just a summer fling that people will soon forget.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/i-think-i-m-just-a-summer-fling-that-people-will-soon-forget/) [John Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oliver/) > [I guess the tone of jokes is often, at best, irreverent, but it always comes from a place of deep love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/i-guess-the-tone-of-jokes-is-often-at-best-irreverent-but-it-always/) [John Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oliver/) > [I'm always interested in audience interaction. Not so much aggressive audience interaction - I'm genuinely interested in how people see things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/i-m-always-interested-in-audience-interaction-not-so-much-aggressive/) [John Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oliver/) > [I do one accent - my own. I can make it louder or quieter. That is the sum total of my vocal range. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/i-do-one-accent-my-own-i-can-make-it-louder-or-quieter-that-is-the/) [John Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oliver/) > [If you work on a comedy show, your basic form of communication is teasing. That's generally how we speak to each other: you communicate…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/if-you-work-on-a-comedy-show-your-basic-form-of-communication-is/) [John Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oliver/) > [I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/i-know-i-d-be-an-absolutely-horrendous-politician/) [John Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oliver/) > [Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/anybody-who-claims-to-be-excited-for-april-fools-day-is-probably-a/) [John Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oliver/) > [Pumpkin spice lattes are egg nog for morning people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/pumpkin-spice-lattes-are-egg-nog-for-morning-people/) [John Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oliver/) > [I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/i-ve-made-so-many-people-angry-that-they-kind-of-blur-into-one/) [John Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oliver/) > [Armando Iannucci is one of my heroes. As I was growing up, he was probably the most influential comic voice that I had.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/armando-iannucci-is-one-of-my-heroes-as-i-was-growing-up-he-was/) [John Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oliver/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/you/john-oliver/#itemlist", "name": "10 You Quotes By John Oliver", "numberOfItems": 10, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You have to do stand-up quite a long time before you learn how to do it well.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "John Oliver" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/you-have-to-do-stand-up-quite-a-long-time-before-you-learn-how-to-do-2/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/02c/john-oliver-2975_before_you-have-to-do-stand-up-quite-a-long-tim_3041812.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/02c/john-oliver-2975_before_you-have-to-do-stand-up-quite-a-long-tim_3041812.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/02c/john-oliver-2975_before_you-have-to-do-stand-up-quite-a-long-tim_3041812.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You have to do stand-up quite a long time before you learn how to do it well.” — John Oliver", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "John Oliver" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/congress-never-loses-its-capacity-to-disappoint-you/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7cc/john-oliver-2975_capacity_congress-never-loses-its-capacity-to-dis_1293736.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7cc/john-oliver-2975_capacity_congress-never-loses-its-capacity-to-dis_1293736.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7cc/john-oliver-2975_capacity_congress-never-loses-its-capacity-to-dis_1293736.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you.” — John Oliver", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "John Oliver" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/i-have-exactly-as-much-rhythm-as-you-think-i-have/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/597/john-oliver-2975_exactly_i-have-exactly-as-much-rhythm-as-you-thi_1992166.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/597/john-oliver-2975_exactly_i-have-exactly-as-much-rhythm-as-you-thi_1992166.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/597/john-oliver-2975_exactly_i-have-exactly-as-much-rhythm-as-you-thi_1992166.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have.” — John Oliver", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Most stand-ups, once they have done it, think of it as their default job. 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Really, the fall of an empire is not as bad as everyone thinks. It's like retirement. People fear retirement, but it can turn out be rather pleasant.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "John Oliver" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/as-any-brit-will-understand-things-get-a-little-easier-when-you-don-t/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4e7/john-oliver-2975_any_as-any-brit-will-understand-things-get-a_1265168.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4e7/john-oliver-2975_any_as-any-brit-will-understand-things-get-a_1265168.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4e7/john-oliver-2975_any_as-any-brit-will-understand-things-get-a_1265168.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“As any Brit will understand, things get a little easier when you don't have to be number one any more…” — John Oliver", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying; you want to project your jokes into their face. And that's really not a good instinct with a 'Daily Show' field piece, where it's supposed to be an interview.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "John Oliver" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/in-improv-the-whole-thing-is-that-it-is-a-relationship-between-the-2/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d16/john-oliver-2975_back_in-improv-the-whole-thing-is-that-it-is_1226847.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d16/john-oliver-2975_back_in-improv-the-whole-thing-is-that-it-is_1226847.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d16/john-oliver-2975_back_in-improv-the-whole-thing-is-that-it-is_1226847.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. 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It was probably years before I was confident enough in stand-up that I was able to talk about the things I wanted to talk about, the way I wanted to talk about them.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "John Oliver" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/you-have-to-do-stand-up-quite-a-long-time-before-you-learn-how-to-do/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d2/john-oliver-2975_able_you-have-to-do-stand-up-quite-a-long-tim_613810.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d2/john-oliver-2975_able_you-have-to-do-stand-up-quite-a-long-tim_613810.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d2/john-oliver-2975_able_you-have-to-do-stand-up-quite-a-long-tim_613810.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You have to do stand-up quite a long time before you learn how to do it well. 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