--- title: "14 Years Quotes By Lewis Black" description: "14 Years quotes by Lewis Black. Plus more from Lewis Black and more Years sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/271/lewis-black-1143_crap_well-first-of-all-i-d-just-like-to-say-t_179184.png" --- > [Well first of all, I'd just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/well-first-of-all-i-d-just-like-to-say-that-2005-was-a-great-year-if/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/271/lewis-black-1143_crap_well-first-of-all-i-d-just-like-to-say-t_179184.png) > [The one thing I think we learned this year is that the Democrats and the Republicans are completely worthless.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/the-one-thing-i-think-we-learned-this-year-is-that-the-democrats-and/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6e6/lewis-black-1143_democrat_the-one-thing-i-think-we-learned-this-ye_2841867.png) > [If you stop eating donutes you will live 3 years longer.It's just 3 more years that you want a donut. < . ) < .](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/if-you-stop-eating-donutes-you-will-live-3-years-longer-it-s-just-3/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f56/lewis-black-1143_donut_if-you-stop-eating-donutes-you-will-live_2512778.png) > [If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/if-it-weren-t-for-my-horse-i-wouldn-t-have-spent-that-year-in-college/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0a4/lewis-black-1143_college_if-it-weren-t-for-my-horse-i-wouldn-t-ha_479581.png) > [When from behind me, a young woman of 25 uttered the following, it was the dumbest thing I have ever heard in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/when-from-behind-me-a-young-woman-of-25-uttered-the-following-it-was/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/668/lewis-black-1143_behinds_when-from-behind-me-a-young-woman-of-25_695245.png) > [In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/in-my-lifetime-we-ve-gone-from-eisenhower-to-george-w-bush-we-ve-gone/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/854/lewis-black-1143_al-gore_in-my-lifetime-we-ve-gone-from-eisenhowe_735592.jpg) > [The whole Valentine's thing is fine, but you don't back it up right next to the biggest gift-giving holiday of the year.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/the-whole-valentine-s-thing-is-fine-but-you-don-t-back-it-up-right/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fba/lewis-black-1143_acceptable_the-whole-valentine-s-thing-is-fine-but_1168625.png) > [My parents were married for sixty-five years, and I was married for about ten minutes, my first year at Yale Drama School.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/my-parents-were-married-for-sixty-five-years-and-i-was-married-for/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/602/lewis-black-1143_drama_my-parents-were-married-for-sixty-five-y_1030587.png) > [My review of 2001, the year, is the same as my review of 2001: A Space Odyssey. It went on too long,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/my-review-of-2001-the-year-is-the-same-as-my-review-of-2001-a-space/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87b/lewis-black-1143_2001-a-space-odyssey_my-review-of-2001-the-year-is-the-same-a_1038327.png) > [ I think you have to \[vote\] and the reason you have to go vote is an important one, and that is because… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-think-you-have-to-vote-and-the-reason-you-have-to-go-vote-is-an/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a06/lewis-black-1143_feels_i-think-you-have-to-vote-and-the-reason_865761.png) > [I went to New Zealand this year, and, whew man, I know a lot of people want to go there. But let…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-went-to-new-zealand-this-year-and-whew-man-i-know-a-lot-of-people/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d61/lewis-black-1143_australia_i-went-to-new-zealand-this-year-and-whew_3053801.png) > [The worst thing about Halloween is, of course, candy corn. It's unbelievable to me. Candy corn is the only candy in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/the-worst-thing-about-halloween-is-of-course-candy-corn-it-s/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e8/lewis-black-1143_america_the-worst-thing-about-halloween-is-of-co_1439343.jpg) > [I knew that I'd lived in New York too long when, a few years ago, I was on a subway going downtown,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-knew-that-i-d-lived-in-new-york-too-long-when-a-few-years-ago-i-was/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a3d/lewis-black-1143_boards_i-knew-that-i-d-lived-in-new-york-too-lo_165926.png) > [Behind me, I heard a young woman of 25 say, "If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/behind-me-i-heard-a-young-woman-of-25-say-if-it-weren-t-for-my-horse/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/566/lewis-black-1143_bears_behind-me-i-heard-a-young-woman-of-25-sa_430924.png) ## Other authors on Years ## More by Lewis Black > [I think one reason people play golf is it allows them to obsess about something other than the daily crap. It takes your mind…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-think-one-reason-people-play-golf-is-it-allows-them-to-obsess-about/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [If you're going to vote for somebody because you think they have a great faith in God, you'd better be sure that God has…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/if-you-re-going-to-vote-for-somebody-because-you-think-they-have-a/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [I think that I don't panic as much as the folks on the left or the right do. I don't have that sense of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-think-that-i-don-t-panic-as-much-as-the-folks-on-the-left-or-the/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [“I don't know if you've noticed, but our two-party system is a bowl of shit looking at itself in the mirror.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-don-t-know-if-you-ve-noticed-but-our-two-party-system-is-a-bowl-of/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [These ballot initiatives against same sex marriage remind us that America is the land where people are free to dream whatever they want, so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/these-ballot-initiatives-against-same-sex-marriage-remind-us-that/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [If you're going to pick a book and you want to base a system of government around it, why not 'Harry Potter?'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/if-you-re-going-to-pick-a-book-and-you-want-to-base-a-system-of/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [No matter what, your parents are going to worry about you. I had a tour bus, and my mother still thought I was broke.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/no-matter-what-your-parents-are-going-to-worry-about-you-i-had-a-tour/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [I'm always amazed when I hear people saying, "That George Bush, he's a great leader". And I wonder, where can one find a drug…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-m-always-amazed-when-i-hear-people-saying-that-george-bush-he-s-a/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [I knew that I'd lived in New York too long when, a few years ago, I was on a subway going downtown, and it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-knew-that-i-d-lived-in-new-york-too-long-when-a-few-years-ago-i-was/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [If you're seeing a psychiatrist, you're wasting money because all you've got to do is get on a plane, get on a subway tomorrow…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/if-you-re-seeing-a-psychiatrist-you-re-wasting-money-because-all-you/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [Well first of all, I'd just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/well-first-of-all-i-d-just-like-to-say-that-2005-was-a-great-year-if/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [I'd like the campaigning to be about all the things they're not going to do. Just tell me what you're not going do! Don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-d-like-the-campaigning-to-be-about-all-the-things-they-re-not-going/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [All food is comfort food. Maybe I just like to chew.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/all-food-is-comfort-food-maybe-i-just-like-to-chew/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [Johnny Vassilaros is the man who has created the finest cup of coffee ever served in the city of New York.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/johnny-vassilaros-is-the-man-who-has-created-the-finest-cup-of-coffee/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) > [“At seven p.m., hope is sparked again when some new chirpy airline employee announces that a new plane without that nasty mechanical problem -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/at-seven-p-m-hope-is-sparked-again-when-some-new-chirpy-airline/) [Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/years/lewis-black/#itemlist", "name": "14 Years Quotes By Lewis Black", 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Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I believe that in twelve years, we'll be voting for plants.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lewis Black" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/in-my-lifetime-we-ve-gone-from-eisenhower-to-george-w-bush-we-ve-gone/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/854/lewis-black-1143_al-gore_in-my-lifetime-we-ve-gone-from-eisenhowe_735592.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/854/lewis-black-1143_al-gore_in-my-lifetime-we-ve-gone-from-eisenhowe_735592.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/854/lewis-black-1143_al-gore_in-my-lifetime-we-ve-gone-from-eisenhowe_735592.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. 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And we find it acceptable.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lewis Black" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/the-whole-valentine-s-thing-is-fine-but-you-don-t-back-it-up-right/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fba/lewis-black-1143_acceptable_the-whole-valentine-s-thing-is-fine-but_1168625.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fba/lewis-black-1143_acceptable_the-whole-valentine-s-thing-is-fine-but_1168625.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fba/lewis-black-1143_acceptable_the-whole-valentine-s-thing-is-fine-but_1168625.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The whole Valentine's thing is fine, but you don't back it up right next to the biggest gift-giving holiday…” — Lewis Black", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "My parents were married for sixty-five years, and I was married for about ten minutes, my first year at Yale Drama School. Something, somehow, didn't get passed on to my generation.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lewis Black" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/my-parents-were-married-for-sixty-five-years-and-i-was-married-for/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/602/lewis-black-1143_drama_my-parents-were-married-for-sixty-five-y_1030587.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/602/lewis-black-1143_drama_my-parents-were-married-for-sixty-five-y_1030587.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/602/lewis-black-1143_drama_my-parents-were-married-for-sixty-five-y_1030587.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“My parents were married for sixty-five years, and I was married for about ten minutes, my first year at Yale…” — Lewis Black", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "My review of 2001, the year, is the same as my review of 2001: A Space Odyssey. It went on too long, it was hard to follow, and you could only enjoy it if you were really, really, *really* stoned.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lewis Black" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/my-review-of-2001-the-year-is-the-same-as-my-review-of-2001-a-space/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87b/lewis-black-1143_2001-a-space-odyssey_my-review-of-2001-the-year-is-the-same-a_1038327.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87b/lewis-black-1143_2001-a-space-odyssey_my-review-of-2001-the-year-is-the-same-a_1038327.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87b/lewis-black-1143_2001-a-space-odyssey_my-review-of-2001-the-year-is-the-same-a_1038327.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“My review of 2001, the year, is the same as my review of 2001: A Space Odyssey. It went on too long, it was…” — Lewis Black", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I think you have to [vote] and the reason you have to go vote is an important one, and that is because the day you vote is the day that you will feel the most ineffectual you will feel all year.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lewis Black" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-think-you-have-to-vote-and-the-reason-you-have-to-go-vote-is-an/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a06/lewis-black-1143_feels_i-think-you-have-to-vote-and-the-reason_865761.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a06/lewis-black-1143_feels_i-think-you-have-to-vote-and-the-reason_865761.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a06/lewis-black-1143_feels_i-think-you-have-to-vote-and-the-reason_865761.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I think you have to [vote] and the reason you have to go vote is an important one, and that is because the…” — Lewis Black", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I went to New Zealand this year, and, whew man, I know a lot of people want to go there. But let me just tell you, it's 22 hours by plane. So, if you have the opportunity, don't.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lewis Black" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/i-went-to-new-zealand-this-year-and-whew-man-i-know-a-lot-of-people/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d61/lewis-black-1143_australia_i-went-to-new-zealand-this-year-and-whew_3053801.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d61/lewis-black-1143_australia_i-went-to-new-zealand-this-year-and-whew_3053801.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d61/lewis-black-1143_australia_i-went-to-new-zealand-this-year-and-whew_3053801.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I went to New Zealand this year, and, whew man, I know a lot of people want to go there. But let me just…” — Lewis Black", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The worst thing about Halloween is, of course, candy corn. It's unbelievable to me. Candy corn is the only candy in the history of America that's never been advertised. And there's a reason. All of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911. And so, since nobody eats that stuff, every year there's a ton of it left over.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lewis Black" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/the-worst-thing-about-halloween-is-of-course-candy-corn-it-s/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e8/lewis-black-1143_america_the-worst-thing-about-halloween-is-of-co_1439343.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e8/lewis-black-1143_america_the-worst-thing-about-halloween-is-of-co_1439343.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e8/lewis-black-1143_america_the-worst-thing-about-halloween-is-of-co_1439343.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The worst thing about Halloween is, of course, candy corn. It's unbelievable to me. Candy corn is the only…” — Lewis Black", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I knew that I'd lived in New York too long when, a few years ago, I was on a subway going downtown, and it stopped at 14th Street. At the station, the doors opened, and the conductor announced that there was a bomb on board and we should evacuate immediately. Nobody moved. We just looked at each other, 'Do you see a bomb?' 'I don't see a bomb.' 'There's no bomb.' 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