--- title: "14 Years Quotes By David Sedaris" description: "14 Years quotes by David Sedaris. Plus more from David Sedaris and more Years sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ff6/david-sedaris-333_diaries_i-ve-been-keeping-diaries-for-27-years-8_884140.png" --- > [I've been keeping diaries for 27 years.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-ve-been-keeping-diaries-for-27-years/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ff6/david-sedaris-333_diaries_i-ve-been-keeping-diaries-for-27-years-8_884140.png) > [I started writing when I was twenty, and my first book came out seventeen years later.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-started-writing-when-i-was-twenty-and-my-first-book-came-out/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dcd/david-sedaris-333_book_i-started-writing-when-i-was-twenty-and_2484569.png) > [It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/it-s-odd-the-things-that-people-remember-parents-will-arrange-a/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/59a/david-sedaris-333_birthday_it-s-odd-the-things-that-people-remember_710559.png) > [My boyfriend got me a computer three years ago. I'll admit it does make things a lot easier. When I was working…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/my-boyfriend-got-me-a-computer-three-years-ago-i-ll-admit-it-does/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4e1/david-sedaris-333_computer_my-boyfriend-got-me-a-computer-three-yea_101490.png) > [The interesting thing about gay people is that you can't really put on a wedding without them. They're the ones who make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/the-interesting-thing-about-gay-people-is-that-you-can-t-really-put/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0c1/david-sedaris-333_catering_the-interesting-thing-about-gay-people-i_2079471.png) > [My sister Tiffany told me years ago, 'You can never write about me.' Then she called six months ago and said she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/my-sister-tiffany-told-me-years-ago-you-can-never-write-about-me-then/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e80/david-sedaris-333_months_my-sister-tiffany-told-me-years-ago-you_1547889.jpg) > [The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin "Tubby" Matchwell, the eleven-year-old porker who tackled the role…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/the-only-bright-spot-in-the-entire-evening-was-the-presence-of-kevin/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4b0/david-sedaris-333_authenticity_the-only-bright-spot-in-the-entire-eveni_1657494.jpg) > [I'm for gay elopement, not for gay weddings. I've been with my boyfriend for twenty years. I don't feel like that would…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-m-for-gay-elopement-not-for-gay-weddings-i-ve-been-with-my/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cf0/david-sedaris-333_elopement_i-m-for-gay-elopement-not-for-gay-weddin_439160.png) > [It makes me wonder sometimes. Remember a couple years ago, when Mexicans went on strike? It was talked about a little bit…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/it-makes-me-wonder-sometimes-remember-a-couple-years-ago-when/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e18/david-sedaris-333_bits_it-makes-me-wonder-sometimes-remember-a_1386136.png) > [People discuss their relationships all the time, but you can't. I don't think people realize how harmful that is, how it twists…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/people-discuss-their-relationships-all-the-time-but-you-can-t-i-don-t/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/244/david-sedaris-333_believe_people-discuss-their-relationships-all-t_2948795.jpg) > [It can take years. With the first draft, I just write everything. With the second draft, it becomes so depressing for me,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/it-can-take-years-with-the-first-draft-i-just-write-everything-with/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d5/david-sedaris-333_depressing_it-can-take-years-with-the-first-draft-i_2466912.jpg) > [I've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it's just whining, but every so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-ve-been-keeping-a-diary-for-thirty-three-years-and-write-in-it/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f61/david-sedaris-333_aids_i-ve-been-keeping-a-diary-for-thirty-thr_2745759.jpg) > [All of a sudden, when you're exposed to a large audience, they think you just started writing that day, but I started…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/all-of-a-sudden-when-you-re-exposed-to-a-large-audience-they-think/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b22/david-sedaris-333_audience_all-of-a-sudden-when-you-re-exposed-to-a_2621856.png) > [I am a person who feels guilty for crimes I have not committed, or have not committed in years. The police search…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-am-a-person-who-feels-guilty-for-crimes-i-have-not-committed-or/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/47b/david-sedaris-333_anxiety_i-am-a-person-who-feels-guilty-for-crime_979082.jpg) ## Other authors on Years ## More by David Sedaris > [“Plenty of animals had pets, but few were more devoted than the mouse, who owned a baby corn snake—“A rescue snake, she’d be quick…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/plenty-of-animals-had-pets-but-few-were-more-devoted-than-the-mouse/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [“never fall asleep in a Dumpster, never underestimate a bee, never drive a convertible behind a flatbed truck, never get old, never get drunk…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/never-fall-asleep-in-a-dumpster-never-underestimate-a-bee-never-drive/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [“It was a father, one hand resting teapot-style on his hip, and the other - what would be the spout - formed into a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/it-was-a-father-one-hand-resting-teapot-style-on-his-hip-and-the/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [“A Japanese woman we’d met in Paris came to the apartment yesterday and spent several hours explaining our appliances. The microwave, the water kettle,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/a-japanese-woman-we-d-met-in-paris-came-to-the-apartment-yesterday/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [One thing I like about the United States, and I kind of miss about the United States, is there's an election coming up here…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/one-thing-i-like-about-the-united-states-and-i-kind-of-miss-about-the/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/when-you-read-comic-material-and-people-aren-t-laughing-how-do-you/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [“You have how many children in your family?" the teacher would ask. "I'm guessing you must be Catholic, am I right?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/you-have-how-many-children-in-your-family-the-teacher-would-ask-i-m/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [“Like most seasoned phonies, I roundly suspect that everyone is as disingenuous as I am.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/like-most-seasoned-phonies-i-roundly-suspect-that-everyone-is-as/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/as-a-child-i-assumed-that-when-i-reached-adulthood-i-would-have-grown/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [“You just take and take don´t you? Out there with your thumb in the air—not a care in the world, just grabbing whatever you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/you-just-take-and-take-don-t-you-out-there-with-your-thumb-in-the-air/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [In other parts of the country people tried to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York they tried to work…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/in-other-parts-of-the-country-people-tried-to-stay-together-for-the/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [My boyfriend got me a computer three years ago. I'll admit it does make things a lot easier. When I was working on a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/my-boyfriend-got-me-a-computer-three-years-ago-i-ll-admit-it-does/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [I spent months searching for some secret code before I realized that common sense has nothing to do with it. Hysteria, psychosis, torture, depression:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-spent-months-searching-for-some-secret-code-before-i-realized-that/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [I hated leaving a hole in the smoking world, and so I recruited someone to take my place. People have given me a lot…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-hated-leaving-a-hole-in-the-smoking-world-and-so-i-recruited/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) > [Write relentlessly, until you find your voice. Then, use it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/write-relentlessly-until-you-find-your-voice-then-use-it/) [David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/years/david-sedaris/#itemlist", "name": "14 Years Quotes By David Sedaris", "numberOfItems": 14, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I've been keeping diaries for 27 years.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "David Sedaris" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-ve-been-keeping-diaries-for-27-years/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ff6/david-sedaris-333_diaries_i-ve-been-keeping-diaries-for-27-years-8_884140.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ff6/david-sedaris-333_diaries_i-ve-been-keeping-diaries-for-27-years-8_884140.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ff6/david-sedaris-333_diaries_i-ve-been-keeping-diaries-for-27-years-8_884140.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I've been keeping diaries for 27 years.” — David Sedaris", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I started writing when I was twenty, and my first book came out seventeen years later.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "David Sedaris" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-started-writing-when-i-was-twenty-and-my-first-book-came-out/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dcd/david-sedaris-333_book_i-started-writing-when-i-was-twenty-and_2484569.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dcd/david-sedaris-333_book_i-started-writing-when-i-was-twenty-and_2484569.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dcd/david-sedaris-333_book_i-started-writing-when-i-was-twenty-and_2484569.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I started writing when I was twenty, and my first book came out seventeen years later.” — David Sedaris", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It's odd the things that people remember. 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Now I don't have to do that.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "David Sedaris" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/my-boyfriend-got-me-a-computer-three-years-ago-i-ll-admit-it-does/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4e1/david-sedaris-333_computer_my-boyfriend-got-me-a-computer-three-yea_101490.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4e1/david-sedaris-333_computer_my-boyfriend-got-me-a-computer-three-yea_101490.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4e1/david-sedaris-333_computer_my-boyfriend-got-me-a-computer-three-yea_101490.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“My boyfriend got me a computer three years ago. I'll admit it does make things a lot easier. 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They've toiled in the wedding industry all these years but were never allowed to do it themselves.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "David Sedaris" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/the-interesting-thing-about-gay-people-is-that-you-can-t-really-put/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0c1/david-sedaris-333_catering_the-interesting-thing-about-gay-people-i_2079471.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0c1/david-sedaris-333_catering_the-interesting-thing-about-gay-people-i_2079471.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0c1/david-sedaris-333_catering_the-interesting-thing-about-gay-people-i_2079471.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The interesting thing about gay people is that you can't really put on a wedding without them. 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She was worried people thought I didn't like her.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "David Sedaris" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/my-sister-tiffany-told-me-years-ago-you-can-never-write-about-me-then/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e80/david-sedaris-333_months_my-sister-tiffany-told-me-years-ago-you_1547889.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e80/david-sedaris-333_months_my-sister-tiffany-told-me-years-ago-you_1547889.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e80/david-sedaris-333_months_my-sister-tiffany-told-me-years-ago-you_1547889.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“My sister Tiffany told me years ago, 'You can never write about me.' 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The false beard tended to muffle his speech, but they could hear his chafing thighs all the way to the North Pole.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "David Sedaris" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/the-only-bright-spot-in-the-entire-evening-was-the-presence-of-kevin/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4b0/david-sedaris-333_authenticity_the-only-bright-spot-in-the-entire-eveni_1657494.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4b0/david-sedaris-333_authenticity_the-only-bright-spot-in-the-entire-eveni_1657494.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4b0/david-sedaris-333_authenticity_the-only-bright-spot-in-the-entire-eveni_1657494.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin \"Tubby\" Matchwell, the eleven-year-old…” — David Sedaris", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I'm for gay elopement, not for gay weddings. I've been with my boyfriend for twenty years. I don't feel like that would validate our relationship in any way. But I would really fight for someone else to have the right. Just elope, though, please.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "David Sedaris" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-m-for-gay-elopement-not-for-gay-weddings-i-ve-been-with-my/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cf0/david-sedaris-333_elopement_i-m-for-gay-elopement-not-for-gay-weddin_439160.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cf0/david-sedaris-333_elopement_i-m-for-gay-elopement-not-for-gay-weddin_439160.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cf0/david-sedaris-333_elopement_i-m-for-gay-elopement-not-for-gay-weddin_439160.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I'm for gay elopement, not for gay weddings. I've been with my boyfriend for twenty years. I don't feel like…” — David Sedaris", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It makes me wonder sometimes. Remember a couple years ago, when Mexicans went on strike? It was talked about a little bit but not that much. But some old white people, and there aren't even that many, they put bonnets on, and then they control the news.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "David Sedaris" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/it-makes-me-wonder-sometimes-remember-a-couple-years-ago-when/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e18/david-sedaris-333_bits_it-makes-me-wonder-sometimes-remember-a_1386136.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e18/david-sedaris-333_bits_it-makes-me-wonder-sometimes-remember-a_1386136.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e18/david-sedaris-333_bits_it-makes-me-wonder-sometimes-remember-a_1386136.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It makes me wonder sometimes. Remember a couple years ago, when Mexicans went on strike? It was talked about…” — David Sedaris", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "People discuss their relationships all the time, but you can't. I don't think people realize how harmful that is, how it twists you up to hide who you are. It's not healthy, and the great gains that homosexuals have made in my lifetime, I think that we'll look back in twenty or thirty years and say, \"I can't believe we ever made them go through that.\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "David Sedaris" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/people-discuss-their-relationships-all-the-time-but-you-can-t-i-don-t/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/244/david-sedaris-333_believe_people-discuss-their-relationships-all-t_2948795.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/244/david-sedaris-333_believe_people-discuss-their-relationships-all-t_2948795.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/244/david-sedaris-333_believe_people-discuss-their-relationships-all-t_2948795.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“People discuss their relationships all the time, but you can't. I don't think people realize how harmful…” — David Sedaris", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It can take years. With the first draft, I just write everything. With the second draft, it becomes so depressing for me, because I realize that I was fooled into thinking I'd written the story. I hadn't-I had just typed for a long time. So then I have to carve out a story from the 25 or so pages. It's in there somewhere-but I have to find it. I'll then write a third, fourth, and fifth draft, and so on.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "David Sedaris" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/it-can-take-years-with-the-first-draft-i-just-write-everything-with/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d5/david-sedaris-333_depressing_it-can-take-years-with-the-first-draft-i_2466912.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d5/david-sedaris-333_depressing_it-can-take-years-with-the-first-draft-i_2466912.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d5/david-sedaris-333_depressing_it-can-take-years-with-the-first-draft-i_2466912.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It can take years. With the first draft, I just write everything. With the second draft, it becomes so…” — David Sedaris", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it's just whining, but every so often there'll be something I can use later: a joke, a description, a quote. It's an invaluable aid when it comes to winning arguments. 'That's not what you said on February 3, 1996,' I'll say to someone.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "David Sedaris" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-ve-been-keeping-a-diary-for-thirty-three-years-and-write-in-it/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f61/david-sedaris-333_aids_i-ve-been-keeping-a-diary-for-thirty-thr_2745759.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f61/david-sedaris-333_aids_i-ve-been-keeping-a-diary-for-thirty-thr_2745759.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f61/david-sedaris-333_aids_i-ve-been-keeping-a-diary-for-thirty-thr_2745759.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it's just whining…” — David Sedaris", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "All of a sudden, when you're exposed to a large audience, they think you just started writing that day, but I started years before. I look back at things I wrote then and I'm so embarrassed - the writing seems so blocky and choppy to me and I wouldn't have wanted success any sooner because the writing was even worse.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "David Sedaris" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/all-of-a-sudden-when-you-re-exposed-to-a-large-audience-they-think/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b22/david-sedaris-333_audience_all-of-a-sudden-when-you-re-exposed-to-a_2621856.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b22/david-sedaris-333_audience_all-of-a-sudden-when-you-re-exposed-to-a_2621856.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b22/david-sedaris-333_audience_all-of-a-sudden-when-you-re-exposed-to-a_2621856.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“All of a sudden, when you're exposed to a large audience, they think you just started writing that day, but…” — David Sedaris", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 14, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I am a person who feels guilty for crimes I have not committed, or have not committed in years. The police search the train station for a serial rapist and I cover my face with a newspaper, wondering if maybe I did it in my sleep. The last thing I stole was an eight-track tape, but to this day I'm unable to enter a store without feeling like a shoplifter. It's all the anxiety with none of the free stuff.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "David Sedaris" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-am-a-person-who-feels-guilty-for-crimes-i-have-not-committed-or/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/47b/david-sedaris-333_anxiety_i-am-a-person-who-feels-guilty-for-crime_979082.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/47b/david-sedaris-333_anxiety_i-am-a-person-who-feels-guilty-for-crime_979082.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/47b/david-sedaris-333_anxiety_i-am-a-person-who-feels-guilty-for-crime_979082.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I am a person who feels guilty for crimes I have not committed, or have not committed in years. The police…” — David Sedaris", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/years/david-sedaris/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/years/david-sedaris/", "name": "Years Quotes by David Sedaris", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/years/david-sedaris/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ff6/david-sedaris-333_diaries_i-ve-been-keeping-diaries-for-27-years-8_884140.png" }, "description": "14 Years quotes by David Sedaris. 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