--- title: "15 Yeah Quotes By Mitch Hedberg" description: "15 Yeah quotes by Mitch Hedberg. Plus more from Mitch Hedberg and more Yeah sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c71/mitch-hedberg-695_hell_hell-yeah-meeting-adjourned-2939339_2939339.png" --- > [Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/hell-yeah-meeting-adjourned/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c71/mitch-hedberg-695_hell_hell-yeah-meeting-adjourned-2939339_2939339.png) > [I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that... day.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-used-to-be-a-hot-tar-roofer-yeah-i-remember-that-day/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eff/mitch-hedberg-695_remember_i-used-to-be-a-hot-tar-roofer-yeah-i-rem_422282.png) > [Yeah, I'm not into sports. If someone told me I had athlete's foot, I'd say that's not my foot!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/yeah-i-m-not-into-sports-if-someone-told-me-i-had-athlete-s-foot-i-d/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/712/mitch-hedberg-695_athlete_yeah-i-m-not-into-sports-if-someone-told_2620591.png) > [I miss the $2 bill, 'cause I can break a two. $20, no. $10, no. $5, maybe, $2? Oh yeah. What do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-miss-the-2-bill-cause-i-can-break-a-two-20-no-10-no-5-maybe-2-oh/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/06f/mitch-hedberg-695_bills_i-miss-the-2-bill-cause-i-can-break-a-tw_1681857.jpg) > [I like those blow-up beds. "This becomes a full size bed in three minutes!" Well, a mattress kicks your ass. Zero seconds.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-like-those-blow-up-beds-this-becomes-a-full-size-bed-in-three/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/869/mitch-hedberg-695_ass_i-like-those-blow-up-beds-this-becomes-a_1720525.png) > [At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said Certainly. He said Do I need…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/at-my-hotel-room-my-friend-came-over-and-asked-to-use-the-phone-i/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fe1/mitch-hedberg-695_five_at-my-hotel-room-my-friend-came-over-and_657817.jpg) > [A friend said to me, "I think the weather is trippy." I said, "No, man, it's not the weather that's trippy, perhaps…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/a-friend-said-to-me-i-think-the-weather-is-trippy-i-said-no-man-it-s/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a8c/mitch-hedberg-695_friendship_a-friend-said-to-me-i-think-the-weather_1276693.png) > [I have an idea for sweatshops: air conditioning! That's simple. 14 year old boys working twelve hour days? "Yeah, but they're comfortable!"](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-have-an-idea-for-sweatshops-air-conditioning-that-s-simple-14-year/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ebd/mitch-hedberg-695_air_i-have-an-idea-for-sweatshops-air-condit_244106.png) > [I hate sandwiches at New York delis. Too much meat on the sandwich. It's like a cow with a cracker on either…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-hate-sandwiches-at-new-york-delis-too-much-meat-on-the-sandwich-it/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/786/mitch-hedberg-695_bread_i-hate-sandwiches-at-new-york-delis-too_1697732.png) > [I used to drink wine. This girl asked me, "Doesn't wine give you a headache?" "Yeah, eventually, but the first and the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-used-to-drink-wine-this-girl-asked-me-doesn-t-wine-give-you-a/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c1b/mitch-hedberg-695_drink_i-used-to-drink-wine-this-girl-asked-me_1323337.png) > [I like Kinko's, because they're open 24 hours. If it's 5 am and I decide I need two of something, I'm covered!…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-like-kinko-s-because-they-re-open-24-hours-if-it-s-5-am-and-i/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/907/mitch-hedberg-695_cold_i-like-kinko-s-because-they-re-open-24-h_1677391.jpg) > [Every time I walk by a spy shop, I think that I need to put some surveillance on somebody. Rick's been acting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/every-time-i-walk-by-a-spy-shop-i-think-that-i-need-to-put-some/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ec2/mitch-hedberg-695_acting_every-time-i-walk-by-a-spy-shop-i-think_798631.jpg) > [I like when they say a movie is inspired by a true story. That's kind of silly. "Hey, Mitch, did you hear…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-like-when-they-say-a-movie-is-inspired-by-a-true-story-that-s-kind/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ff1/mitch-hedberg-695_car_i-like-when-they-say-a-movie-is-inspired_2032149.jpg) > [I like it when you reach into a vending machine to grab your candy bar, and that flap goes up to block…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-like-it-when-you-reach-into-a-vending-machine-to-grab-your-candy/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c3/mitch-hedberg-695_bars_i-like-it-when-you-reach-into-a-vending_369603.png) > [You know when you go into a restaurant, and it gets busy and they start a waiting list, and they start calling…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/you-know-when-you-go-into-a-restaurant-and-it-gets-busy-and-they/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/689/mitch-hedberg-695_answers_you-know-when-you-go-into-a-restaurant-a_1199522.png) ## Other authors on Yeah ## More by Mitch Hedberg > [I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same. So if somebody asks me what time it is, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-don-t-wear-a-watch-because-i-want-my-arms-to-weigh-the-same-so-if/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [There was a product on late night TV that you could attach to your garden hose - "You can water your hard-to-reach plants with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/there-was-a-product-on-late-night-tv-that-you-could-attach-to-your/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the beat, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/imagine-if-you-were-a-drummer-and-you-accidentally-picked-up-two/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I like wearing necklaces, because it lets me know when I'm upside down.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-like-wearing-necklaces-because-it-lets-me-know-when-i-m-upside-down/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I'm sick of Soup Of The Day, man. It's time we make a decision. I need to know what Soup From Now On is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-m-sick-of-soup-of-the-day-man-it-s-time-we-make-a-decision-i-need/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I have a friend who is a juggler. If I'm at his house, I don't like to take food from him, if it's in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-have-a-friend-who-is-a-juggler-if-i-m-at-his-house-i-don-t-like-to/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know anybody who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-don-t-get-the-regular-aids-test-anymore-i-get-the-roundabout-aids/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I don't know how to fix a car. If the car breaks down, and the gas tank does not say "E", I'm screwed. But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-don-t-know-how-to-fix-a-car-if-the-car-breaks-down-and-the-gas-tank/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-drank-some-boiling-water-because-i-wanted-to-whistle/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know we never give them a chance, what the fuck is a sesame?! It's a street...…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/what-s-a-sesame-seed-grow-into-i-don-t-know-we-never-give-them-a/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I'm an ice sculptor. Last night I made a cube.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-m-an-ice-sculptor-last-night-i-made-a-cube/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, "Pass the salt." I said, "Screw you! Sit closer to the salt."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-went-to-a-restaurant-with-my-friend-and-he-said-pass-the-salt-i/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of summer, when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-had-a-bag-of-fritos-they-were-texas-grilled-fritos-these-fritos-had/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I bought a house, it's a two bedroom house, but I think it's up to me to decide how many bedrooms there are. This…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-bought-a-house-it-s-a-two-bedroom-house-but-i-think-it-s-up-to-me/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper. Dude didn't even get his degree.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/mr-pibb-is-a-poor-imitation-of-dr-pepper-dude-didn-t-even-get-his/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/yeah/mitch-hedberg/#itemlist", "name": "15 Yeah Quotes By Mitch Hedberg", "numberOfItems": 15, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Hell, yeah! 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What do you need, a one and another one?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mitch Hedberg" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-miss-the-2-bill-cause-i-can-break-a-two-20-no-10-no-5-maybe-2-oh/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/06f/mitch-hedberg-695_bills_i-miss-the-2-bill-cause-i-can-break-a-tw_1681857.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/06f/mitch-hedberg-695_bills_i-miss-the-2-bill-cause-i-can-break-a-tw_1681857.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/06f/mitch-hedberg-695_bills_i-miss-the-2-bill-cause-i-can-break-a-tw_1681857.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I miss the $2 bill, 'cause I can break a two. $20, no. $10, no. $5, maybe, $2? Oh yeah. What do you need, a…” — Mitch Hedberg", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I like those blow-up beds. \"This becomes a full size bed in three minutes!\" Well, a mattress kicks your ass. Zero seconds. \"Yeah, but you can store this thing.\" You can store a bed, too - in the bedroom.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mitch Hedberg" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-like-those-blow-up-beds-this-becomes-a-full-size-bed-in-three/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/869/mitch-hedberg-695_ass_i-like-those-blow-up-beds-this-becomes-a_1720525.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/869/mitch-hedberg-695_ass_i-like-those-blow-up-beds-this-becomes-a_1720525.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/869/mitch-hedberg-695_ass_i-like-those-blow-up-beds-this-becomes-a_1720525.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I like those blow-up beds. \"This becomes a full size bed in three minutes!\" Well, a mattress kicks your ass…” — Mitch Hedberg", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said Certainly. He said Do I need to dial 9 I say Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mitch Hedberg" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/at-my-hotel-room-my-friend-came-over-and-asked-to-use-the-phone-i/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fe1/mitch-hedberg-695_five_at-my-hotel-room-my-friend-came-over-and_657817.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fe1/mitch-hedberg-695_five_at-my-hotel-room-my-friend-came-over-and_657817.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fe1/mitch-hedberg-695_five_at-my-hotel-room-my-friend-came-over-and_657817.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said Certainly. 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That's simple. 14 year old boys working twelve hour days? \"Yeah, but they're comfortable!\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mitch Hedberg" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-have-an-idea-for-sweatshops-air-conditioning-that-s-simple-14-year/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ebd/mitch-hedberg-695_air_i-have-an-idea-for-sweatshops-air-condit_244106.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ebd/mitch-hedberg-695_air_i-have-an-idea-for-sweatshops-air-condit_244106.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ebd/mitch-hedberg-695_air_i-have-an-idea-for-sweatshops-air-condit_244106.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I have an idea for sweatshops: air conditioning! That's simple. 14 year old boys working twelve hour days?…” — Mitch Hedberg", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I hate sandwiches at New York delis. Too much meat on the sandwich. It's like a cow with a cracker on either side. \"Would you like anything else with the pastrami sandwich?\" \"Yeah, a loaf of bread and some other people!\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mitch Hedberg" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-hate-sandwiches-at-new-york-delis-too-much-meat-on-the-sandwich-it/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/786/mitch-hedberg-695_bread_i-hate-sandwiches-at-new-york-delis-too_1697732.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/786/mitch-hedberg-695_bread_i-hate-sandwiches-at-new-york-delis-too_1697732.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/786/mitch-hedberg-695_bread_i-hate-sandwiches-at-new-york-delis-too_1697732.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I hate sandwiches at New York delis. Too much meat on the sandwich. It's like a cow with a cracker on either…” — Mitch Hedberg", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I used to drink wine. This girl asked me, \"Doesn't wine give you a headache?\" \"Yeah, eventually, but the first and the middle part are amazing!\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mitch Hedberg" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-used-to-drink-wine-this-girl-asked-me-doesn-t-wine-give-you-a/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c1b/mitch-hedberg-695_drink_i-used-to-drink-wine-this-girl-asked-me_1323337.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c1b/mitch-hedberg-695_drink_i-used-to-drink-wine-this-girl-asked-me_1323337.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c1b/mitch-hedberg-695_drink_i-used-to-drink-wine-this-girl-asked-me_1323337.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I used to drink wine. This girl asked me, \"Doesn't wine give you a headache?\" \"Yeah, eventually, but the…” — Mitch Hedberg", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I like Kinko's, because they're open 24 hours. If it's 5 am and I decide I need two of something, I'm covered! Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, and then I think, \"Oh, yeah. Kinko's. No problem. That will not remain singular.\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mitch Hedberg" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-like-kinko-s-because-they-re-open-24-hours-if-it-s-5-am-and-i/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/907/mitch-hedberg-695_cold_i-like-kinko-s-because-they-re-open-24-h_1677391.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/907/mitch-hedberg-695_cold_i-like-kinko-s-because-they-re-open-24-h_1677391.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/907/mitch-hedberg-695_cold_i-like-kinko-s-because-they-re-open-24-h_1677391.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I like Kinko's, because they're open 24 hours. If it's 5 am and I decide I need two of something, I'm…” — Mitch Hedberg", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Every time I walk by a spy shop, I think that I need to put some surveillance on somebody. Rick's been acting fishy! I need to buy a safe that looks like a Spray 'N Wash can. \"Hey, Mitch, can I use the Spray 'N Wash?\" \"Yeah, if you want to spray your shirt with documents!\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mitch Hedberg" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/every-time-i-walk-by-a-spy-shop-i-think-that-i-need-to-put-some/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ec2/mitch-hedberg-695_acting_every-time-i-walk-by-a-spy-shop-i-think_798631.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ec2/mitch-hedberg-695_acting_every-time-i-walk-by-a-spy-shop-i-think_798631.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ec2/mitch-hedberg-695_acting_every-time-i-walk-by-a-spy-shop-i-think_798631.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Every time I walk by a spy shop, I think that I need to put some surveillance on somebody. Rick's been…” — Mitch Hedberg", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I like when they say a movie is inspired by a true story. That's kind of silly. \"Hey, Mitch, did you hear that story about that lady who drove her car into the lake with her kids and they all drowned?\" \"Yeah, I did, and you know what - that inspires me to write a movie about a gorilla!\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mitch Hedberg" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-like-when-they-say-a-movie-is-inspired-by-a-true-story-that-s-kind/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ff1/mitch-hedberg-695_car_i-like-when-they-say-a-movie-is-inspired_2032149.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ff1/mitch-hedberg-695_car_i-like-when-they-say-a-movie-is-inspired_2032149.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ff1/mitch-hedberg-695_car_i-like-when-they-say-a-movie-is-inspired_2032149.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I like when they say a movie is inspired by a true story. That's kind of silly. \"Hey, Mitch, did you hear…” — Mitch Hedberg", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 14, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I like it when you reach into a vending machine to grab your candy bar, and that flap goes up to block you from reaching up? That's a good invention. Before that, it was hard times for the vending machine owners. \"Yeah, what candy bar are you getting?\" \"That one, and every one on the bottom row!\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mitch Hedberg" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-like-it-when-you-reach-into-a-vending-machine-to-grab-your-candy/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c3/mitch-hedberg-695_bars_i-like-it-when-you-reach-into-a-vending_369603.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c3/mitch-hedberg-695_bars_i-like-it-when-you-reach-into-a-vending_369603.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c3/mitch-hedberg-695_bars_i-like-it-when-you-reach-into-a-vending_369603.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I like it when you reach into a vending machine to grab your candy bar, and that flap goes up to block you…” — Mitch Hedberg", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 15, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You know when you go into a restaurant, and it gets busy and they start a waiting list, and they start calling out names, \"DuFresnes, party of two.\" They say again, \"DuFresnes, party of two.\" But then if no one answers, they'll just go to the next name, \"Bush, party of three.\" Yeah, but what happened to the DuFresnes? No one seems to care. Who can eat at a time like this? People are missing! And they're hungry! That's a double whammy! \"Bush, search party of three!\" You can eat once you find the DuFresnes!", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mitch Hedberg" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/you-know-when-you-go-into-a-restaurant-and-it-gets-busy-and-they/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/689/mitch-hedberg-695_answers_you-know-when-you-go-into-a-restaurant-a_1199522.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/689/mitch-hedberg-695_answers_you-know-when-you-go-into-a-restaurant-a_1199522.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/689/mitch-hedberg-695_answers_you-know-when-you-go-into-a-restaurant-a_1199522.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You know when you go into a restaurant, and it gets busy and they start a waiting list, and they start…” — Mitch Hedberg", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/yeah/mitch-hedberg/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/yeah/mitch-hedberg/", "name": "Yeah Quotes by Mitch Hedberg", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/yeah/mitch-hedberg/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c71/mitch-hedberg-695_hell_hell-yeah-meeting-adjourned-2939339_2939339.png" }, "description": "15 Yeah quotes by Mitch Hedberg. 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