--- title: "15 Wells Quotes By Christopher Titus" description: "15 Wells quotes by Christopher Titus. Plus more from Christopher Titus and more Wells sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4db/christopher-titus-1916_baseball_everyone-has-an-enemy-it-s-why-god-gave_690538.jpg" --- > [Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/everyone-has-an-enemy-it-s-why-god-gave-us-baseball-bats-well-he-gave/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4db/christopher-titus-1916_baseball_everyone-has-an-enemy-it-s-why-god-gave_690538.jpg) > [The towers fell, and the first thing that went through my head was my dad's voice: 'Well, you brought a new life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/the-towers-fell-and-the-first-thing-that-went-through-my-head-was-my/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/366/christopher-titus-1916_dad_the-towers-fell-and-the-first-thing-that_651019.jpg) > [I'm the sort of loser who succeeds really well and then drops a turd in the punch bowl.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/i-m-the-sort-of-loser-who-succeeds-really-well-and-then-drops-a-turd/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f1e/christopher-titus-1916_bowls_i-m-the-sort-of-loser-who-succeeds-reall_2870062.jpg) > [Love. It's God's greatest gift. He fills our world with it and makes sure we grow up with caring, supportive parents. I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/love-it-s-god-s-greatest-gift-he-fills-our-world-with-it-and-makes/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4cc/christopher-titus-1916_caring_love-it-s-god-s-greatest-gift-he-fills-o_1176184.jpg) > [My father, never chooses me for anything. If you needed a kidney and I offered him mine, well, pfft. Well, he'd take…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/my-father-never-chooses-me-for-anything-if-you-needed-a-kidney-and-i/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2b/christopher-titus-1916_choose-me_my-father-never-chooses-me-for-anything_2294072.jpg) > [My dad got divorced six times. Well, he actually only got divorced five times. He wouldn't divorce the sixth one 'cause he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/my-dad-got-divorced-six-times-well-he-actually-only-got-divorced-five/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f04/christopher-titus-1916_causes_my-dad-got-divorced-six-times-well-he-ac_874327.jpg) > [Vengeance, is good. You give it, you get it. It's all part of what makes us human. So thank god for vengeance.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/vengeance-is-good-you-give-it-you-get-it-it-s-all-part-of-what-makes/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fd7/christopher-titus-1916_cat_vengeance-is-good-you-give-it-you-get-it_1500168.jpg) > [Humans are born, small, weak and helpless. That's why we have family. And the elders of the family are the honoured guardians…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/humans-are-born-small-weak-and-helpless-that-s-why-we-have-family-and/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f22/christopher-titus-1916_america_humans-are-born-small-weak-and-helpless_909302.jpg) > [When you screw up, you got to pay the price. Shoot up a supermarket, you go to jail. Ride a motorcycle without…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/when-you-screw-up-you-got-to-pay-the-price-shoot-up-a-supermarket-you/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c31/christopher-titus-1916_brain_when-you-screw-up-you-got-to-pay-the-pri_2047679.jpg) > [How far would you go for someone you love ? Well, when my grandkids ask me how I pledged my love to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/how-far-would-you-go-for-someone-you-love-well-when-my-grandkids-ask/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/190/christopher-titus-1916_ask-me_how-far-would-you-go-for-someone-you-lov_2775293.jpg) > [How come Mom is crazy and I'm not? Well, it's possible my mom could stand up in front of this many people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/how-come-mom-is-crazy-and-i-m-not-well-it-s-possible-my-mom-could/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d29/christopher-titus-1916_caliber_how-come-mom-is-crazy-and-i-m-not-well-i_2000639.jpg) > [Blood doesn't make you family. Hell, an only child can bleed. It's the sharing of pain that makes you family. 'Cause, you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/blood-doesn-t-make-you-family-hell-an-only-child-can-bleed-it-s-the/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8a2/christopher-titus-1916_blood_blood-doesn-t-make-you-family-hell-an-on_1062233.jpg) > [If you want something bad enough, you've got to make a bold move. Just make sure you clear the bold move with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/if-you-want-something-bad-enough-you-ve-got-to-make-a-bold-move-just/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d2/christopher-titus-1916_agree_if-you-want-something-bad-enough-you-ve_3099576.jpg) > [When you are a screwed up person, you have a responsibility to keep your normal friends from getting walked on. 'Cos, how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/when-you-are-a-screwed-up-person-you-have-a-responsibility-to-keep/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f58/christopher-titus-1916_bad-guy_when-you-are-a-screwed-up-person-you-hav_114688.jpg) > [Thanksgiving is a holiday that brought together two different cultures. And things might not always work out like you think they should.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/thanksgiving-is-a-holiday-that-brought-together-two-different/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/97c/christopher-titus-1916_all-time_thanksgiving-is-a-holiday-that-brought-t_1325676.jpg) ## Other authors on Wells ## More by Christopher Titus > [My father thrives on fear. You know that prayer If I should die before I wake? I had sheets that said that!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/my-father-thrives-on-fear-you-know-that-prayer-if-i-should-die-before/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Ladies, if you're at the mall and you think your man is looking at other girls just remember: If your man is at the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/ladies-if-you-re-at-the-mall-and-you-think-your-man-is-looking-at/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [I find that Americans are all in the middle somewhere, except for the extreme nuts, and extreme nuts on both sides are the loudest.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/i-find-that-americans-are-all-in-the-middle-somewhere-except-for-the/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [My father? A hard drinking man from the 70's. We actually have no pictures of my dad where he is not holding a beer.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/my-father-a-hard-drinking-man-from-the-70-s-we-actually-have-no/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Everybody I've ever met was destroyed by a member of the opposite sex early on and that damage you took into every relationship after…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/everybody-i-ve-ever-met-was-destroyed-by-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Psychiatrist are like mind hookers. Give them 200 dollars and they just screw with your head.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/psychiatrist-are-like-mind-hookers-give-them-200-dollars-and-they/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [All of Dad's relationships ended exactly the same: subpoena, beep of a moving van backing up the driveway, pile of his clothes burning on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/all-of-dad-s-relationships-ended-exactly-the-same-subpoena-beep-of-a/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Texas is a hell hole, man. Dirt, cactus, lizards, dirt, cactus, the Bush family.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/texas-is-a-hell-hole-man-dirt-cactus-lizards-dirt-cactus-the-bush/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Sometimes failure makes your future because you set the past on fire.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/sometimes-failure-makes-your-future-because-you-set-the-past-on-fire/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [When you are a screwed up person, you have a responsibility to keep your normal friends from getting walked on. 'Cos, how bad could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/when-you-are-a-screwed-up-person-you-have-a-responsibility-to-keep/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [If you're a racist, right now, in 2011... You just look like a retard, man.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/if-you-re-a-racist-right-now-in-2011-you-just-look-like-a-retard-man/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Why should I learn English? I'm never going to England. Shah, pffff, ur, doy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/why-should-i-learn-english-i-m-never-going-to-england-shah-pffff-ur/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Passion, manners, and 80 ounces of beer will win the heart of any woman. And if it doesn't, you'll be too hammered to remember.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/passion-manners-and-80-ounces-of-beer-will-win-the-heart-of-any-woman/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [The most powerful person in your life is the one that knows all your secrets and all your lies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/the-most-powerful-person-in-your-life-is-the-one-that-knows-all-your/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Haiti fell over? Who built Haiti? Two of the three little pigs?!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/haiti-fell-over-who-built-haiti-two-of-the-three-little-pigs/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wells/christopher-titus/#itemlist", "name": "15 Wells Quotes By Christopher Titus", "numberOfItems": 15, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. 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Nice timing, numbnuts!", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/the-towers-fell-and-the-first-thing-that-went-through-my-head-was-my/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/366/christopher-titus-1916_dad_the-towers-fell-and-the-first-thing-that_651019.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/366/christopher-titus-1916_dad_the-towers-fell-and-the-first-thing-that_651019.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/366/christopher-titus-1916_dad_the-towers-fell-and-the-first-thing-that_651019.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The towers fell, and the first thing that went through my head was my dad's voice: 'Well, you brought a new…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I'm the sort of loser who succeeds really well and then drops a turd in the punch bowl.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/i-m-the-sort-of-loser-who-succeeds-really-well-and-then-drops-a-turd/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f1e/christopher-titus-1916_bowls_i-m-the-sort-of-loser-who-succeeds-reall_2870062.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f1e/christopher-titus-1916_bowls_i-m-the-sort-of-loser-who-succeeds-reall_2870062.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f1e/christopher-titus-1916_bowls_i-m-the-sort-of-loser-who-succeeds-reall_2870062.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I'm the sort of loser who succeeds really well and then drops a turd in the punch bowl.” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Love. It's God's greatest gift. He fills our world with it and makes sure we grow up with caring, supportive parents. I'm just kidding. Pain is God's greatest gift. Pain is God's way of saying, \"Hurts, don't it ? Wel, go ahead. Say, me dammit again.\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/love-it-s-god-s-greatest-gift-he-fills-our-world-with-it-and-makes/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4cc/christopher-titus-1916_caring_love-it-s-god-s-greatest-gift-he-fills-o_1176184.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4cc/christopher-titus-1916_caring_love-it-s-god-s-greatest-gift-he-fills-o_1176184.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4cc/christopher-titus-1916_caring_love-it-s-god-s-greatest-gift-he-fills-o_1176184.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Love. It's God's greatest gift. He fills our world with it and makes sure we grow up with caring, supportive…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "My father, never chooses me for anything. If you needed a kidney and I offered him mine, well, pfft. Well, he'd take it 'cos he was dying. It's not that he doesn't love me, 'cos he does. It's just that special kind of love that feels like neglect.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/my-father-never-chooses-me-for-anything-if-you-needed-a-kidney-and-i/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2b/christopher-titus-1916_choose-me_my-father-never-chooses-me-for-anything_2294072.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2b/christopher-titus-1916_choose-me_my-father-never-chooses-me-for-anything_2294072.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2b/christopher-titus-1916_choose-me_my-father-never-chooses-me-for-anything_2294072.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“My father, never chooses me for anything. If you needed a kidney and I offered him mine, well, pfft. Well…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "My dad got divorced six times. Well, he actually only got divorced five times. He wouldn't divorce the sixth one 'cause he said he didn't want people to think he couldn't commit. 'I don't want people not taking me serious.' Dad, your last marriage was performed in Reno by an ordained lesbian Elvis impersonator. Who you hit on.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/my-dad-got-divorced-six-times-well-he-actually-only-got-divorced-five/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f04/christopher-titus-1916_causes_my-dad-got-divorced-six-times-well-he-ac_874327.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f04/christopher-titus-1916_causes_my-dad-got-divorced-six-times-well-he-ac_874327.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f04/christopher-titus-1916_causes_my-dad-got-divorced-six-times-well-he-ac_874327.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“My dad got divorced six times. Well, he actually only got divorced five times. He wouldn't divorce the sixth…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Vengeance, is good. You give it, you get it. It's all part of what makes us human. So thank god for vengeance. Otherwise, the human race might as well just roll over and let another species for a while. I think it will be the cats. Watch 'em. They're cooking up something.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/vengeance-is-good-you-give-it-you-get-it-it-s-all-part-of-what-makes/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fd7/christopher-titus-1916_cat_vengeance-is-good-you-give-it-you-get-it_1500168.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fd7/christopher-titus-1916_cat_vengeance-is-good-you-give-it-you-get-it_1500168.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fd7/christopher-titus-1916_cat_vengeance-is-good-you-give-it-you-get-it_1500168.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Vengeance, is good. You give it, you get it. It's all part of what makes us human. So thank god for…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Humans are born, small, weak and helpless. That's why we have family. And the elders of the family are the honoured guardians of our country's history. Unfortunately, in America, we, you know, lock those elders away out of view in nursing homes and go about our little lives. It's a great national shame and an irredeemable tragedy. Oh well.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/humans-are-born-small-weak-and-helpless-that-s-why-we-have-family-and/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f22/christopher-titus-1916_america_humans-are-born-small-weak-and-helpless_909302.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f22/christopher-titus-1916_america_humans-are-born-small-weak-and-helpless_909302.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f22/christopher-titus-1916_america_humans-are-born-small-weak-and-helpless_909302.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Humans are born, small, weak and helpless. That's why we have family. And the elders of the family are the…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "When you screw up, you got to pay the price. Shoot up a supermarket, you go to jail. Ride a motorcycle without a helmet, permanent brain damage and in California you're getting a ticket. Too chatty on a date with my dad, well, he'll push you in front of a cross town bus. Of course, you know, I'm speaking metaphorically. My dad will push you in front of any bus.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/when-you-screw-up-you-got-to-pay-the-price-shoot-up-a-supermarket-you/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c31/christopher-titus-1916_brain_when-you-screw-up-you-got-to-pay-the-pri_2047679.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c31/christopher-titus-1916_brain_when-you-screw-up-you-got-to-pay-the-pri_2047679.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c31/christopher-titus-1916_brain_when-you-screw-up-you-got-to-pay-the-pri_2047679.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“When you screw up, you got to pay the price. Shoot up a supermarket, you go to jail. Ride a motorcycle…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "How far would you go for someone you love ? Well, when my grandkids ask me how I pledged my love to their grandma, I'll say, I told her I would die for her, after I found out I didn't have an incurable disease. Then, I ran away while grandma was getting her ass kicked by a pregnant woman that grandpa slept with. You never know when you're making a memory.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/how-far-would-you-go-for-someone-you-love-well-when-my-grandkids-ask/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/190/christopher-titus-1916_ask-me_how-far-would-you-go-for-someone-you-lov_2775293.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/190/christopher-titus-1916_ask-me_how-far-would-you-go-for-someone-you-lov_2775293.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/190/christopher-titus-1916_ask-me_how-far-would-you-go-for-someone-you-lov_2775293.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“How far would you go for someone you love ? Well, when my grandkids ask me how I pledged my love to their…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "How come Mom is crazy and I'm not? Well, it's possible my mom could stand up in front of this many people and talk about all the crap in her life and those people could have sat around and laughed with her, it would've meant nothing and she could have moved on cool. It's also possible she could have taken out the whole front row with a large-caliber weapon.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/how-come-mom-is-crazy-and-i-m-not-well-it-s-possible-my-mom-could/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d29/christopher-titus-1916_caliber_how-come-mom-is-crazy-and-i-m-not-well-i_2000639.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d29/christopher-titus-1916_caliber_how-come-mom-is-crazy-and-i-m-not-well-i_2000639.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d29/christopher-titus-1916_caliber_how-come-mom-is-crazy-and-i-m-not-well-i_2000639.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“How come Mom is crazy and I'm not? Well, it's possible my mom could stand up in front of this many people…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Blood doesn't make you family. Hell, an only child can bleed. It's the sharing of pain that makes you family. 'Cause, you can't really love a brother or sister until you know that they're as scarred and broken as you are. And, hey, if you grow up with a father like mine and you aren't at least a little scarred and broken, well then, that's not your father. You were spawned by an entirely different guy.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/blood-doesn-t-make-you-family-hell-an-only-child-can-bleed-it-s-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8a2/christopher-titus-1916_blood_blood-doesn-t-make-you-family-hell-an-on_1062233.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8a2/christopher-titus-1916_blood_blood-doesn-t-make-you-family-hell-an-on_1062233.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8a2/christopher-titus-1916_blood_blood-doesn-t-make-you-family-hell-an-on_1062233.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Blood doesn't make you family. Hell, an only child can bleed. It's the sharing of pain that makes you…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you want something bad enough, you've got to make a bold move. Just make sure you clear the bold move with the people whose lives it's going to affect. Like George Washington, had to get all those guys who the British killed to agree to die. Neil Armstrong, had to crank a couple of elbows into Buzz Aldrin's face mask to make sure he got on the moon first. And Christopher Titus, well, he worked his dad for five grand. Ha ha. Who can't support who ? I know, it's complicated.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/if-you-want-something-bad-enough-you-ve-got-to-make-a-bold-move-just/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d2/christopher-titus-1916_agree_if-you-want-something-bad-enough-you-ve_3099576.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d2/christopher-titus-1916_agree_if-you-want-something-bad-enough-you-ve_3099576.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d2/christopher-titus-1916_agree_if-you-want-something-bad-enough-you-ve_3099576.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you want something bad enough, you've got to make a bold move. Just make sure you clear the bold move…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 14, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "When you are a screwed up person, you have a responsibility to keep your normal friends from getting walked on. 'Cos, how bad could you screw that up ? And don't say, Well, you could cause someone six months of physical therapy. 'Cos, hey, lots of times, those exercise take places in pools and nylon tents with little plastic balls. Fun places like that. And, she gets to park up really close for a while. Ha ha, oh, I'm the bad guy.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/when-you-are-a-screwed-up-person-you-have-a-responsibility-to-keep/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f58/christopher-titus-1916_bad-guy_when-you-are-a-screwed-up-person-you-hav_114688.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f58/christopher-titus-1916_bad-guy_when-you-are-a-screwed-up-person-you-hav_114688.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f58/christopher-titus-1916_bad-guy_when-you-are-a-screwed-up-person-you-hav_114688.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“When you are a screwed up person, you have a responsibility to keep your normal friends from getting walked…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 15, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Thanksgiving is a holiday that brought together two different cultures. And things might not always work out like you think they should. But they always work out. I'm thankful that the world's in perfect harmony at all times. Pilgrims had it tough. But now, we live in the strongest, most prosperous country in the world. And the Indians, well, you know.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/thanksgiving-is-a-holiday-that-brought-together-two-different/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/97c/christopher-titus-1916_all-time_thanksgiving-is-a-holiday-that-brought-t_1325676.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/97c/christopher-titus-1916_all-time_thanksgiving-is-a-holiday-that-brought-t_1325676.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/97c/christopher-titus-1916_all-time_thanksgiving-is-a-holiday-that-brought-t_1325676.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Thanksgiving is a holiday that brought together two different cultures. 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