---
title: "17 Way Quotes By Steven Wright"
description: "17 Way quotes by Steven Wright. Plus more from Steven Wright and more Way sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b17/steven-wright-432_best-way_isn-t-the-best-way-to-save-face-to-keep_1310592.jpg"
---

> [Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/isn-t-the-best-way-to-save-face-to-keep-the-lower-part-shut/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b17/steven-wright-432_best-way_isn-t-the-best-way-to-save-face-to-keep_1310592.jpg)

> [I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-was-a-peripheral-visionary-i-could-see-the-future-but-only-way-off/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/825/steven-wright-432_future_i-was-a-peripheral-visionary-i-could-see_3037657.jpg)

> [I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-live-at-the-end-of-a-dead-end-one-way-street-i-don-t-know-how-i-got/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fae/steven-wright-432_dead-end_i-live-at-the-end-of-a-dead-end-one-way_3120498.jpg)

> [Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/monday-is-an-awful-way-to-spend-1-7-of-your-life/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb3/steven-wright-432_awful_monday-is-an-awful-way-to-spend-1-7-of-y_1060611.jpg)

> [I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-drive-way-too-fast-to-worry-about-cholesterol/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c75/steven-wright-432_cholesterol_i-drive-way-too-fast-to-worry-about-chol_2409480.jpg)

> [What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/what-would-a-chair-look-like-if-your-knees-bent-the-other-way/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a3c/steven-wright-432_bent_what-would-a-chair-look-like-if-your-kne_2866240.jpg)

> [When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/when-everything-s-coming-your-way-you-re-in-the-wrong-lane/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/578/steven-wright-432_bumper_when-everything-s-coming-your-way-you-re_2123522.jpg)

> [I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-bought-a-house-on-a-one-way-dead-end-road-i-don-t-know-how-i-got/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e50/steven-wright-432_dead-ends_i-bought-a-house-on-a-one-way-dead-end-r_1831654.jpg)

> [I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-play-the-harmonica-the-only-way-i-can-play-is-if-i-get-my-car-going/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab2/steven-wright-432_car_i-play-the-harmonica-the-only-way-i-can_1715700.jpg)

> [I turned my air conditioner the other way around and it got cold out. The weatherman said 'I don't understand it. It…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-turned-my-air-conditioner-the-other-way-around-and-it-got-cold-out/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/807/steven-wright-432_air_i-turned-my-air-conditioner-the-other-wa_1641882.jpg)

> [Sorry... my mind was wandering... one time it went all the way to Venus and ordered a meal I couldn’t pay for.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/sorry-my-mind-was-wandering-one-time-it-went-all-the-way-to-venus-and/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8b3/steven-wright-432_food_sorry-my-mind-was-wandering-one-time-it_127871.jpg)

> [I took my dog for a walk... all the way from New York to Florida... I said to him "There now you're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-took-my-dog-for-a-walk-all-the-way-from-new-york-to-florida-i-said/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/065/steven-wright-432_dog_i-took-my-dog-for-a-walk-all-the-way-fro_1512838.jpg)

> [I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-wear-a-hat-on-stage-so-that-people-won-t-be-blinded-by-the/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e19/steven-wright-432_blinded_i-wear-a-hat-on-stage-so-that-people-won_141643.jpg)

> [I've been thinking of humorous things since I was... I can't remember when. All the way through elementary school, all the way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-ve-been-thinking-of-humorous-things-since-i-was-i-can-t-remember/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e49/steven-wright-432_audience_i-ve-been-thinking-of-humorous-things-si_1226410.jpg)

> [In a lot of ways, success is much harder than I thought it would be. I figured that you'd get here and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/in-a-lot-of-ways-success-is-much-harder-than-i-thought-it-would-be-i/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c48/steven-wright-432_ever-after_in-a-lot-of-ways-success-is-much-harder_849206.jpg)

> [When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/when-i-m-on-stage-it-s-really-intense-my-mind-is-going-a-million/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/141/steven-wright-432_bagels_when-i-m-on-stage-it-s-really-intense-my_44630.jpg)

> [One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/one-time-the-power-went-out-in-my-house-and-i-had-to-use-the-flash-on/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b00/steven-wright-432_cameras_one-time-the-power-went-out-in-my-house_873822.jpg)

## Other authors on Way

## More by Steven Wright

> [Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/depression-is-merely-anger-without-enthusiasm/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

> [My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/my-dental-hygienist-is-cute-every-time-i-visit-i-eat-a-whole-package/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

> [If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/if-lawyers-are-disbarred-and-clergymen-defrocked-doesn-t-it-follow/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

> [If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/if-i-ever-had-twins-i-d-use-one-for-parts/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

> [Nobody can really compare a relationship in which the victim is 15 years old to one where she's 6. While both criminal, they're very different circumstances.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/nobody-can-really-compare-a-relationship-in-which-the-victim-is-15/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

> [I saw a tree fall in the woods, and I didn't hear it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-saw-a-tree-fall-in-the-woods-and-i-didn-t-hear-it/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

> [It's very intense to be in front of a live audience. It's just an amazing experience. It's dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/it-s-very-intense-to-be-in-front-of-a-live-audience-it-s-just-an/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

> [I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-got-pulled-over-by-a-cop-and-he-said-do-you-know-the-speed-limit/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

> [Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/babies-don-t-need-a-vacation-but-i-still-see-them-at-the-beach-it/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

> [“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-just-got-out-of-the-hospital-i-was-in-a-speed-reading-accident-i/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

> [When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/when-i-m-on-stage-it-s-really-intense-my-mind-is-going-a-million/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

> [I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-don-t-like-politicians-and-i-don-t-like-politics-i-definitely-don-t/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

> [I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-went-to-this-restaurant-last-night-that-was-set-up-like-a-big/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

> [Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/why-isn-t-the-number-11-pronounced-onety-one/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

> [A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/a-conscience-is-what-hurts-when-all-your-other-parts-feel-so-good/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "ItemList",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way/steven-wright/#itemlist",
            "name": "17 Way Quotes By Steven Wright",
            "numberOfItems": 17,
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Steven Wright"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/isn-t-the-best-way-to-save-face-to-keep-the-lower-part-shut/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b17/steven-wright-432_best-way_isn-t-the-best-way-to-save-face-to-keep_1310592.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b17/steven-wright-432_best-way_isn-t-the-best-way-to-save-face-to-keep_1310592.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b17/steven-wright-432_best-way_isn-t-the-best-way-to-save-face-to-keep_1310592.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?” — Steven Wright",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Steven Wright"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-was-a-peripheral-visionary-i-could-see-the-future-but-only-way-off/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/825/steven-wright-432_future_i-was-a-peripheral-visionary-i-could-see_3037657.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/825/steven-wright-432_future_i-was-a-peripheral-visionary-i-could-see_3037657.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/825/steven-wright-432_future_i-was-a-peripheral-visionary-i-could-see_3037657.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.” — Steven Wright",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Steven Wright"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-live-at-the-end-of-a-dead-end-one-way-street-i-don-t-know-how-i-got/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fae/steven-wright-432_dead-end_i-live-at-the-end-of-a-dead-end-one-way_3120498.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fae/steven-wright-432_dead-end_i-live-at-the-end-of-a-dead-end-one-way_3120498.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fae/steven-wright-432_dead-end_i-live-at-the-end-of-a-dead-end-one-way_3120498.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.” — Steven Wright",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Steven Wright"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/monday-is-an-awful-way-to-spend-1-7-of-your-life/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb3/steven-wright-432_awful_monday-is-an-awful-way-to-spend-1-7-of-y_1060611.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb3/steven-wright-432_awful_monday-is-an-awful-way-to-spend-1-7-of-y_1060611.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb3/steven-wright-432_awful_monday-is-an-awful-way-to-spend-1-7-of-y_1060611.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.” — Steven Wright",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 5,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Steven Wright"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-drive-way-too-fast-to-worry-about-cholesterol/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c75/steven-wright-432_cholesterol_i-drive-way-too-fast-to-worry-about-chol_2409480.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c75/steven-wright-432_cholesterol_i-drive-way-too-fast-to-worry-about-chol_2409480.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c75/steven-wright-432_cholesterol_i-drive-way-too-fast-to-worry-about-chol_2409480.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.” — Steven Wright",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 6,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Steven Wright"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/what-would-a-chair-look-like-if-your-knees-bent-the-other-way/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a3c/steven-wright-432_bent_what-would-a-chair-look-like-if-your-kne_2866240.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a3c/steven-wright-432_bent_what-would-a-chair-look-like-if-your-kne_2866240.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a3c/steven-wright-432_bent_what-would-a-chair-look-like-if-your-kne_2866240.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?” — Steven Wright",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 7,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Steven Wright"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/when-everything-s-coming-your-way-you-re-in-the-wrong-lane/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/578/steven-wright-432_bumper_when-everything-s-coming-your-way-you-re_2123522.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/578/steven-wright-432_bumper_when-everything-s-coming-your-way-you-re_2123522.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/578/steven-wright-432_bumper_when-everything-s-coming-your-way-you-re_2123522.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.” — Steven Wright",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 8,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Steven Wright"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-bought-a-house-on-a-one-way-dead-end-road-i-don-t-know-how-i-got/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e50/steven-wright-432_dead-ends_i-bought-a-house-on-a-one-way-dead-end-r_1831654.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e50/steven-wright-432_dead-ends_i-bought-a-house-on-a-one-way-dead-end-r_1831654.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e50/steven-wright-432_dead-ends_i-bought-a-house-on-a-one-way-dead-end-r_1831654.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.” — Steven Wright",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 9,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Steven Wright"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-play-the-harmonica-the-only-way-i-can-play-is-if-i-get-my-car-going/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab2/steven-wright-432_car_i-play-the-harmonica-the-only-way-i-can_1715700.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab2/steven-wright-432_car_i-play-the-harmonica-the-only-way-i-can_1715700.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab2/steven-wright-432_car_i-play-the-harmonica-the-only-way-i-can_1715700.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the…” — Steven Wright",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 10,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I turned my air conditioner the other way around and it got cold out.  The weatherman said 'I don't understand it.  It was supposed to be 80 degrees out today.'  I said, oops",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Steven Wright"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-turned-my-air-conditioner-the-other-way-around-and-it-got-cold-out/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/807/steven-wright-432_air_i-turned-my-air-conditioner-the-other-wa_1641882.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/807/steven-wright-432_air_i-turned-my-air-conditioner-the-other-wa_1641882.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/807/steven-wright-432_air_i-turned-my-air-conditioner-the-other-wa_1641882.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I turned my air conditioner the other way around and it got cold out. The weatherman said 'I don't…” — Steven Wright",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 11,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Sorry... my mind was wandering... one time it went all the way to Venus and ordered a meal I couldn’t pay for.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Steven Wright"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/sorry-my-mind-was-wandering-one-time-it-went-all-the-way-to-venus-and/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8b3/steven-wright-432_food_sorry-my-mind-was-wandering-one-time-it_127871.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8b3/steven-wright-432_food_sorry-my-mind-was-wandering-one-time-it_127871.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8b3/steven-wright-432_food_sorry-my-mind-was-wandering-one-time-it_127871.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Sorry... my mind was wandering... one time it went all the way to Venus and ordered a meal I couldn’t pay for.” — Steven Wright",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 12,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I took my dog for a walk... all the way from New York to Florida... I said to him \"There now you're done.\"",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Steven Wright"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-took-my-dog-for-a-walk-all-the-way-from-new-york-to-florida-i-said/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/065/steven-wright-432_dog_i-took-my-dog-for-a-walk-all-the-way-fro_1512838.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/065/steven-wright-432_dog_i-took-my-dog-for-a-walk-all-the-way-fro_1512838.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/065/steven-wright-432_dog_i-took-my-dog-for-a-walk-all-the-way-fro_1512838.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I took my dog for a walk... all the way from New York to Florida... I said to him \"There now you're done.\"” — Steven Wright",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 13,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat, there's no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Steven Wright"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-wear-a-hat-on-stage-so-that-people-won-t-be-blinded-by-the/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e19/steven-wright-432_blinded_i-wear-a-hat-on-stage-so-that-people-won_141643.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e19/steven-wright-432_blinded_i-wear-a-hat-on-stage-so-that-people-won_141643.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e19/steven-wright-432_blinded_i-wear-a-hat-on-stage-so-that-people-won_141643.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear…” — Steven Wright",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 14,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I've been thinking of humorous things since I was... I can't remember when. All the way through elementary school, all the way through junior high, all the way through high school, through college and after college, I was thinking of the same kinds of things that I say in front of an audience now.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Steven Wright"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-ve-been-thinking-of-humorous-things-since-i-was-i-can-t-remember/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e49/steven-wright-432_audience_i-ve-been-thinking-of-humorous-things-si_1226410.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e49/steven-wright-432_audience_i-ve-been-thinking-of-humorous-things-si_1226410.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e49/steven-wright-432_audience_i-ve-been-thinking-of-humorous-things-si_1226410.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I've been thinking of humorous things since I was... I can't remember when. All the way through elementary…” — Steven Wright",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 15,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "In a lot of ways, success is much harder than I thought it would be. I figured that you'd get here and then everything would be happily ever after. But, it's hard work, almost harder once you're successful because you've got to maintain it.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Steven Wright"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/in-a-lot-of-ways-success-is-much-harder-than-i-thought-it-would-be-i/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c48/steven-wright-432_ever-after_in-a-lot-of-ways-success-is-much-harder_849206.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c48/steven-wright-432_ever-after_in-a-lot-of-ways-success-is-much-harder_849206.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c48/steven-wright-432_ever-after_in-a-lot-of-ways-success-is-much-harder_849206.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“In a lot of ways, success is much harder than I thought it would be. I figured that you'd get here and then…” — Steven Wright",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 16,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say it all the right way. It's funny how different it looks and how it's happening. There are three Fellini circuses in my head, and outwardly it looks like I'm going to get a bagel.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Steven Wright"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/when-i-m-on-stage-it-s-really-intense-my-mind-is-going-a-million/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/141/steven-wright-432_bagels_when-i-m-on-stage-it-s-really-intense-my_44630.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/141/steven-wright-432_bagels_when-i-m-on-stage-it-s-really-intense-my_44630.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/141/steven-wright-432_bagels_when-i-m-on-stage-it-s-really-intense-my_44630.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act…” — Steven Wright",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 17,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Steven Wright"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/one-time-the-power-went-out-in-my-house-and-i-had-to-use-the-flash-on/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b00/steven-wright-432_cameras_one-time-the-power-went-out-in-my-house_873822.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b00/steven-wright-432_cameras_one-time-the-power-went-out-in-my-house_873822.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b00/steven-wright-432_cameras_one-time-the-power-went-out-in-my-house_873822.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made…” — Steven Wright",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                }
            ]
        },
        {
            "@type": "CollectionPage",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way/steven-wright/#webpage",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way/steven-wright/",
            "name": "Way Quotes by Steven Wright",
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "mainEntity": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way/steven-wright/#itemlist"
            },
            "primaryImageOfPage": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b17/steven-wright-432_best-way_isn-t-the-best-way-to-save-face-to-keep_1310592.jpg"
            },
            "description": "17 Way quotes by Steven Wright. Plus more from Steven Wright and more Way sayings from other authors.",
            "breadcrumb": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way/steven-wright/#breadcrumb"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way/steven-wright/#breadcrumb",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Topics",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/categories/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "Way",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 5,
                    "name": "Steven Wright",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way/steven-wright/"
                }
            ]
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```